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1007 - Track of the Moon Beast



Viewers big 3 people watching this episode right now.
233 laughs

Comments (80) Best Riffs (275)

Film school student project
2 laughs

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Mega Rat2000 - 3 months ago

Love the burning marshmallow as the meteor. Is it just me or did the cast share a pony keg of Robitussin along with chicken, peyote, onions, hair, peyote, corn, more peyote and just a hint of Tony Basil


No Moon Beast for Old Men
0 laughs

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Bill Cooling - 4 months ago

Johnny Longbow reminds me of Anton Chigurh from "No Country for Old Men". "Hello, friendo. Please wait while I disembowel you. After which I will enjoy a stew of beans...corn...chicken...(sigh)...onion...green peppers..."


SOL Battle of the Bands
1 laugh

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Dragon my Tail 2day - 6 months ago

So which tune is more popular (1) Yipe Stripes, (2) Zombie Stomp or (3) California Lady ???? vote Bob "Almighty" Dobbs-2016


1 laugh

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David McKinley - 7 months ago

STOP LISTING, JOHNNY LONGBONE.


1 laugh

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A Silhouette - 7 months ago

Isn't the longbow of English origin? How did it become a name for a Native American


Lizard on a trampoline
5 laughs

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Rosebud - 7 months ago

A lot of headroom in that lizard cage. "maybe he has a trampoline in there". Ha! After 10 viewings, that was the first time I caught that line. Now it cracks me up. Get it? A lizard jumping on a trampoline? ha. That's absurd!


2 laughs

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Mathew Link - 7 months ago

"Johnny Longbone?"


My Long bone is made of chicken...corn....
4 laughs

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Dragon my Tail 2day - 7 months ago

Maybe I need Peyote.... chicken..corn....green peppers....onions and more Peyote so that I can watch the "joke" part without cringing.
Well gotta get back to the recording studio where T.B.T.P.C.L (The Band...etc..) is recording a song for the new millennium... Fridge Box Lady....


2 laughs

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mojojojo - 8 months ago

"Warrior's bow that reaches long to it's mark"
"Oh...is he seeing anyone?" lol!!! Crow's sucha baddie.


2 laughs

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Such as Seals - 11 months ago

That practical joke scene is so awkward it makes me itch.


6 laughs

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SirenR - about 1 year ago

Does anyone else think that maybe if they had just gone ahead and operated on him instead of "seeing if it clears up" it mightve been possible to save him?


1 laugh

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Snuffy Wuffykiss - about 1 year ago

I just want some peyote.


California Laaaaaaddyyyyyy
4 laughs

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PowerfulForkliftOfACatfish - about 1 year ago

I don't know if anyone besides me actually kind of enjoys California Lady by TBTPCL, but if you do, I cut a version without any dialogue, screaming, etc. for your listening pleasure. The quality is of course still crappy. :-/ I'd actually like to find a legitimate copy of the song, but I have searched everywhere and been unsuccessful.

http://puu.sh/llxPD/c2d2964818.mp3


6 laughs

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SaturnHex - about 1 year ago

You know this movie goes great with a nice stew, made with corn, green peppers, chicken, onion...


Geologist gets hit in head with moon rock
5 laughs

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Rosebud - about 1 year ago

The biggest bizarre coincedence in the history of geology. A geologist gets hit in the head with a rock known to come from the moon. A once in a million year opportunity for science. So of course, he puts it on his dresser. And doesn't know what to do with it? Then later, while contemplating his navel, wonders out loud if there might be someplace he can take it that might be able to identify it. Perhaps the other geologists at the university where he is studying geology? Could that work?!


4 laughs

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Alxndr Mysliwicz - over 1 year ago

here is a youtube link to the CALIFORNIA LADY 45 by FRANK LARRABEE
enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RUT5iGspgc


3 laughs

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Look Polish - over 1 year ago

Character says, "My mom's in Europe, she travels a lot."

I'd say: "You live with your MOM?"

MST3k says: [Beat] "All this AND he lives with his mom?! Wow!"

The difference between a (below-)average riff, and an MST3k riff


9 laughs

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Stephen A Nathe - almost 2 years ago

anyone else get this and IT FLIES BY NIGHT mixed-up with each other??
It might just be another case of all-too identical small pieces of crap that were once part of a much larger piece of crap...the smaller pieces, of course, having been formed when the larger piece hit the fan, and naturally a lot of crap was scattered....
hmmm....actually every MST3K'd movie was probably formed at that moment---theorists call it the BIG CRAP-SPLATTERING THEORY.


8 laughs

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Meg Lugaric Shick - almost 2 years ago

My 8-year-old son walks around the house singing "California Lady".
Either I'm a total failure as a mom or I totally rock.


5 laughs

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Iris - about 2 years ago

Apparently this movie was written in one weekend. I wouldn't be surprised if it was cast and filmed in the same weekend... its so bad!


4 laughs

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Jane Sproul - about 2 years ago

Call me a pathetic hippie if you like, but I actually kinda like 'California Lady.'


4 laughs

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They filmed it on a lot of things... chicken, corn, green peppers, chili, onions...


Archaeology!
4 laughs

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Carefully ... carefully ... brush away the dirt from the little bone. Ram that trowel into the ground - you don't want it to escape and it won't hit anything important.


2 laughs

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Literally fourteen seconds into this film and I already hate it for what it has done to Delia Derbyshire.


5 laughs

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Kenshin Chan - over 2 years ago

This is one of my favorite episodes and I watch it all the time. For YEARS I thought at 22:00, that Gypsy had a huge arm and then a smaller arm. Only just today did I realize it's Servo's hand. I knew they were supposed to have their arms around their shoulders like in the movie but it just didn't click before. Facepalm moment for me.


13 laughs

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Valerie Godwin - over 2 years ago

I was waiting to hear "Paul you is a werewilf?"


6 laughs

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Dave Ryder - over 2 years ago

This episode is sooo awkward...right out of the gate, with the weird 'prank' (sorry for rushing the Halloween season! Dracula at your service! I got more of a reaction than I bargained for). Truly an excellent episode.


5 laughs

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Dave Ryder - over 2 years ago

This Paul character is shirtless more often than Mike, and that's saying something.


13 laughs

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I Am The Button - over 2 years ago

"It stars nobody, and features nothing. I hope you gag on it, :D"
Oh Pearl! You're too apt.


12 laughs

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Remember when Crow was looking for a personal catch phrase? Well, did he ever consider, "Don't forget my delicious dipping sauce!"?


4 laughs

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Peter Trinidad Niederbrach - over 2 years ago

At 17:15
It's not a good sign when your movie uses sound effects from "Monster A Go-Go."


9 laughs

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Kenshin Chan - over 2 years ago

Is it just me or is California Lady actually not that bad, and actually kinda catchy?


7 laughs

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Rifleman Ezekiel - over 2 years ago

I would like to point out A: Longbow isn't a word in any Native American language I know of and B: Longbows are European weapons.

Provided we just don't call him longbone.


7 laughs

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Dood - over 2 years ago

I like how the two doctors at 1:03:19 have been sitting next to each other for the entire flight, but only decide to talk to each other about why they've been called to Albuquerque twenty minutes before they land.


9 laughs

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Tom Blevins - almost 3 years ago

I forced my skull right thru my face, and refused to wash my stringy hair!


11 laughs

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Briggs Gordon - almost 3 years ago

Still snickering like Muttley every time the shopping list gets recited. Every. Single. Time. Why is that so damn funny?


5 laughs

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The main character, according to Plot Exposition Radio at 1:12:35, is 24 years old.
I wonder if he went to the same college as the students from Ring of Terror.


5 laughs

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Bruce Ellsworth Reed - about 3 years ago

I think this is 10x worse than Manos and that's after three viewings of both!


3 laughs

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John Carnahan - about 3 years ago

The blossomer really frames the Millenium Falcon nicely


4 laughs

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Bruce Box-Liker - about 3 years ago

"His name is Ty."
"Ty?"
"Short for Tyrannosaurus."
"Sounds like something in a museum."
"It is, usually. Ty looks a lot like a dinosaur."

If there is a worse bit of dialogue in any movie, ever, I don't know what it is.


11 laughs

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Teri Gee - over 3 years ago

I actually like Johnny Longbow's character. The actor is probably the best in the movie, and he and the sheriff have about the most genuine parts.


7 laughs

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Obocaj33 - over 3 years ago

These are the best host segments of any episode.


4 laughs

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Mike Carmona - over 3 years ago

Blondie crossing the street at 1:17:56... Oh god, my sides are killing me!


3 laughs

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Bruce Box-Liker - over 3 years ago

"It's 10,678 feet, up or down. Depending on where you are. And your point of view."

What could he POSSIBLY mean by that?


0 laughs

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Stereo Catz - over 3 years ago

The Brady Bill only requires waiting periods for handguns. It didn't go into effect until '94 anyway.


5 laughs

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Stereo Catz - over 3 years ago

"Thanks Brigham Young." Yes folks Crow made a reference to a Utah governor who died in 1877.


7 laughs

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Stereo Catz - over 3 years ago

Oh man, I've never laughed so hard as I did at "Spats and a Top hat."


5 laughs

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Rhys Patterson - over 3 years ago

"Remember what the door mouse said, Feed Servo's Head..... With a zesty ranch dipping sauce when guests come over.


5 laughs

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Rhys Patterson - over 3 years ago

I feel the title is a heroin addict's drug addled brain making excuses for the marks on his arms, and his peyote tripping friend goes " that would make a great movie"


5 laughs

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Michael S - over 3 years ago

I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT SERVOS HEAD!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!!


11 laughs

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Sabrina Domingues - over 3 years ago

Just watched Mesa of Lost Women with RiffTrax commentary, and Bill Corbett makes a "chicken...corn...green peppers, chili.....(sigh) onions..." reference in it!


6 laughs

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After having watched this one a dozen or so times, I think it might just have to be the next one I show my family. The host segments are all pretty stellar and the riffs are perfect.


5 laughs

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Classicats - over 3 years ago

The drawings in the slideshow are hilarious. As are the hospital jammies.


5 laughs

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Steve Hayes - over 3 years ago

I really don't understand how a director can make a movie like this and not see that it's terrible. I mean seriously. The "performance" of the woman playing the wife is nothing but comical. Any sentient being should recognize that.


9 laughs

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Carl Schulz IV - over 3 years ago

You know a movie has bad dialog when the guys are able to use it almost verbatim in a sketch.


5 laughs

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MyMyMSTie - over 3 years ago

This episode is so underrated!!!


12 laughs

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Fredrick Stafford - over 3 years ago

Pathetically, when Paul’s mother returns home from Europe later that summer she does not notice he is no longer living there until the next spring when Ty shows up to get all his stuff from his old cage...later she hooks up with that bearded Dr. Lawrence guy at a local bar, he moves in, and they turn Paul’s room into a Fifty Shades Playroom. Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh!


15 laughs

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Jenica Burgos - almost 4 years ago

Because of this movie I can never say the word "onions" without sighing first. Nor can I read a list without thinking "sigh...onions." Thank you Johnny Longbone for making us laugh about stew, again.


8 laughs

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NS - almost 4 years ago

A random guy with a bad haircut gains animal-themed superpowers and becomes suicidal. His competent Native friend (who somehow has an even worse haircut) knows what's happening and tries to help him. His blond girlfriend, portrayed by a non-actress, mostly just gets in the way. The villain of the piece is a big shiny head. Conclusion: this movie is what happens if you put Pumaman in a blender with a large bucket of sand.


5 laughs

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Rhys Patterson - almost 4 years ago

I think they based this movie off an episode of Star Trek with a glen or Glenda spin. Everyone wears tight loud clothes, the main actor takes his shirt off constantly and is always oiled, he has an exotic scholarly friend, he has to deal with a giant lizard monster in tons of desert settings.... And the twist is he IS the lizard monster.


6 laughs

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Rhys Patterson - almost 4 years ago

The couple in the movie have the same Chemistry as I did with first girl I kissed.... We recently reconnected she is now a man


16 laughs

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Kelly Slane - almost 4 years ago

"Mike, Crow, Snack..." LOVE Pearl


6 laughs

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Richard Deakin - almost 4 years ago

Crappy moon-monster movie OH WOW!!! lol . I remember watching this movie back in the 80's un-mistied and it sucked back then too. Still can't understand why a hippy folk song band sung "California Lady" about a dum tight outfitted blond from N.Y. and there in New Mexico lol!!!! I hear the fishy lip guy still lives there in N.M. and is a used car salesman now. He's a lil' pissed at MST3K for dissin' him in the movie too! Voice is still froggy too lol.


6 laughs

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00:48:00 - I'm with the Moon Beast here. Televised poker is dull enough to induce a murderous rampage in anyone.


4 laughs

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00:17:17 - Crow invokes those stupid Nineties "A Diamond Is Forever" ads. :D

A Crappy Fake Moonrock Is Forever...


6 laughs

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Rhys Patterson - almost 4 years ago

Okay for a b grade horror film with a vaguely moon alien Native American monster motif I found the whole then at least not insulting like so many movies have been. Don't look it but strong Native American background on my fathers side. But the oversized tin or aluminum "ceremonial" mask did sort of blast my WTF button. No tribe ever would have that thing in any ceremony. Most tribes would not let their masks appear on film so some numb nut goes let's fake it for the weirdest joke ever. I'm not offended but it adds a whole other level of weird and artificialness to that scene fir me. And that thing is pretty freaking bizarre to begin with.


5 laughs

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Fancy Pantserton - almost 4 years ago

>.


9 laughs

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Leslie Doesn't Get You - almost 4 years ago

Their parody of VH1's Behind the Music is freakin' awesome!


7 laughs

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Desiree Ashcraft - about 4 years ago

At the concert, behind Paul: It's Lemmy from Motorhead!!!!!


6 laughs

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Kelly Slane - about 4 years ago

"He was still alive when they found him..." - The 8 of diamonds?
*throws down card* - I fold...

That exchange killed me!


5 laughs

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Matt Towler - over 4 years ago

I love how Mike laughs at Tom's joke at 1:03.


4 laughs

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Rachel Anne Mullins - over 4 years ago

I always crack up when the guys make eating noises! (0:11:08)


8 laughs

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Gal Dagon - over 4 years ago

Oh, sweet merciful Jesus, Tom's onion flower head almost killed me.


12 laughs

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Iris - over 4 years ago

Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhh!
Sorry for rushing the Halloween season, but it was just to good to resist. I came here to take some screenshots and when I saw you here, I couldn't resist playing a practical joke on you. I'm afraid I got a little more reaction than I bargained for. I won't use the screenshot, that's a promise! I'm really sorry!


20 laughs

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Bruce Box-Liker - over 4 years ago

By my count, there are four MST3K movies that feature people named Paul turning into monsters.


14 laughs

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LostHighway - almost 5 years ago

"...Servo saw you here and explained to me that you were up here on the bridge eating peapods..." - cracks me up


9 laughs

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Peter Trinidad Niederbrach - almost 5 years ago

"It's an Eagles Concert, it's a Nightmare!" Man, can you change the station? I've had a rough day and I just hate the Eagles!


13 laughs

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Alex Stefanic - almost 5 years ago

I suddenly crave an onion blossom...