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1007 - Track of the Moon Beast



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246 laughs

Comments (89) Best Riffs (284)

Doctor Lady - 19 days ago
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I wonder if ALL Moon Beasts experience as much respiratory distress as Paul did... the world may never know.


Doctor Lady - 19 days ago
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I may be crazy, but Johnny Longbow seems to give off some definite Chevy Chase vibes in the use of his eyebrows....


Michael Kottler - about 1 month ago
1 laugh

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S0 glad that s0 many pe0ple are st1ll enj0y1ng MST 3000! My thanks t0 the adm1ns wh0 keep th1s s1te g01ng.


Michael Kottler - about 1 month ago
0 laughs

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w0w th1s m0v1e 1s really bad!


Ankhvanharis - about 1 month ago
1 laugh

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The song "California Lady" would be quite catchy if the girl wasn't singing such an awkward harmony it hurts the ears! lol.


Peter Trinidad Niederbrach - over 3 years ago
5 laughs

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At 17:15
It's not a good sign when your movie uses sound effects from "Monster A Go-Go."


The "Movies" after effects or How I failed with my Student Film Project
Mugh Hungus - about 1 month ago
2 laughs

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Johny was renamed as Johny Long Winded due to his stories. Researchers used the scenes of the Sheriff to research if Police with their thumps in the belt walk upright. Robitussin Stocks plummet after the "actors" discovered Peyote in Johny Long Winded's stew along with Propylene Glycol , hair, Dinty Moore, lizard, and coyote.
And the "Prank" scene is in Websters Dictionary under painful ...


Jane Sproul - almost 3 years ago
4 laughs

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Call me a pathetic hippie if you like, but I actually kinda like 'California Lady.'


Meg Lugaric Shick - over 2 years ago
9 laughs

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My 8-year-old son walks around the house singing "California Lady".
Either I'm a total failure as a mom or I totally rock.


Lizard on a trampoline
Rosebud - over 1 year ago
7 laughs

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A lot of headroom in that lizard cage. "maybe he has a trampoline in there". Ha! After 10 viewings, that was the first time I caught that line. Now it cracks me up. Get it? A lizard jumping on a trampoline? ha. That's absurd!


Immindragon - 6 months ago
1 laugh

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Wait, he took her to the top of Sandia? And she didn't know where she was? It's a bloody MOUNTAIN. No wonder they left at noon to get there by night!


Bruce Box-Liker - over 5 years ago
21 laughs

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By my count, there are four MST3K movies that feature people named Paul turning into monsters.


SirenR - almost 2 years ago
8 laughs

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Does anyone else think that maybe if they had just gone ahead and operated on him instead of "seeing if it clears up" it mightve been possible to save him?


MSTeacher3K - 4 months ago
1 laugh

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Kathy has a strong "Amy Winehouse" vibe.


Bruce Box-Liker - over 4 years ago
4 laughs

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"It's 10,678 feet, up or down. Depending on where you are. And your point of view."

What could he POSSIBLY mean by that?


NavySandman - 6 months ago
2 laughs

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I just noticed that during the host segment where the 'Bots imitate the opening scene of the movie, Gypsy and Tom are 'standing' arm-in-arm (even though Gypsy's arm doesn't seem to bend). I've seen this experiment a bunch of times and never saw that before. Go figure...


Fredrick Stafford - over 4 years ago
13 laughs

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Pathetically, when Paul’s mother returns home from Europe later that summer she does not notice he is no longer living there until the next spring when Ty shows up to get all his stuff from his old cage...later she hooks up with that bearded Dr. Lawrence guy at a local bar, he moves in, and they turn Paul’s room into a Fifty Shades Playroom. Ahhhhh! Ahhhhh!


Steve Hayes - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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I really don't understand how a director can make a movie like this and not see that it's terrible. I mean seriously. The "performance" of the woman playing the wife is nothing but comical. Any sentient being should recognize that.


Kenshin Chan - over 3 years ago
10 laughs

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Is it just me or is California Lady actually not that bad, and actually kinda catchy?


A Silhouette - over 1 year ago
1 laugh

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Isn't the longbow of English origin? How did it become a name for a Native American


California Laaaaaaddyyyyyy
PowerfulForkliftOfACatfish - almost 2 years ago
6 laughs

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I don't know if anyone besides me actually kind of enjoys California Lady by TBTPCL, but if you do, I cut a version without any dialogue, screaming, etc. for your listening pleasure. The quality is of course still crappy. :-/ I'd actually like to find a legitimate copy of the song, but I have searched everywhere and been unsuccessful.

http://puu.sh/llxPD/c2d2964818.mp3


Film school student project
Mega Rat2000 - 12 months ago
4 laughs

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Love the burning marshmallow as the meteor. Is it just me or did the cast share a pony keg of Robitussin along with chicken, peyote, onions, hair, peyote, corn, more peyote and just a hint of Tony Basil


No Moon Beast for Old Men
Bill Cooling - about 1 year ago
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Johnny Longbow reminds me of Anton Chigurh from "No Country for Old Men". "Hello, friendo. Please wait while I disembowel you. After which I will enjoy a stew of beans...corn...chicken...(sigh)...onion...green peppers..."


SOL Battle of the Bands
Dragon my Tail 2day - about 1 year ago
3 laughs

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So which tune is more popular (1) Yipe Stripes, (2) Zombie Stomp or (3) California Lady ???? vote Bob "Almighty" Dobbs-2016


David McKinley - over 1 year ago
2 laughs

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STOP LISTING, JOHNNY LONGBONE.


Mathew Link - over 1 year ago
3 laughs

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"Johnny Longbone?"


My Long bone is made of chicken...corn....
Dragon my Tail 2day - over 1 year ago
6 laughs

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Maybe I need Peyote.... chicken..corn....green peppers....onions and more Peyote so that I can watch the "joke" part without cringing.
Well gotta get back to the recording studio where T.B.T.P.C.L (The Band...etc..) is recording a song for the new millennium... Fridge Box Lady....


mojojojo - over 1 year ago
5 laughs

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"Warrior's bow that reaches long to it's mark"
"Oh...is he seeing anyone?" lol!!! Crow's sucha baddie.


A Lush Cocktail Rescue - over 1 year ago
4 laughs

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That practical joke scene is so awkward it makes me itch.


Look Polish - about 2 years ago
5 laughs

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Character says, "My mom's in Europe, she travels a lot."

I'd say: "You live with your MOM?"

MST3k says: [Beat] "All this AND he lives with his mom?! Wow!"

The difference between a (below-)average riff, and an MST3k riff


Snuffy Wuffykiss - almost 2 years ago
2 laughs

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I just want some peyote.


SaturnHex - almost 2 years ago
7 laughs

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You know this movie goes great with a nice stew, made with corn, green peppers, chicken, onion...


Geologist gets hit in head with moon rock
Rosebud - almost 2 years ago
7 laughs

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The biggest bizarre coincedence in the history of geology. A geologist gets hit in the head with a rock known to come from the moon. A once in a million year opportunity for science. So of course, he puts it on his dresser. And doesn't know what to do with it? Then later, while contemplating his navel, wonders out loud if there might be someplace he can take it that might be able to identify it. Perhaps the other geologists at the university where he is studying geology? Could that work?!


I Am The Button - over 3 years ago
14 laughs

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"It stars nobody, and features nothing. I hope you gag on it, :D"
Oh Pearl! You're too apt.


Mike Carmona - about 4 years ago
4 laughs

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Blondie crossing the street at 1:17:56... Oh god, my sides are killing me!


Carl Schulz IV - over 4 years ago
10 laughs

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You know a movie has bad dialog when the guys are able to use it almost verbatim in a sketch.


Iris - almost 3 years ago
6 laughs

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Apparently this movie was written in one weekend. I wouldn't be surprised if it was cast and filmed in the same weekend... its so bad!


Dave Ryder - about 3 years ago
6 laughs

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This Paul character is shirtless more often than Mike, and that's saying something.


Alxndr Mysliwicz - about 2 years ago
4 laughs

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here is a youtube link to the CALIFORNIA LADY 45 by FRANK LARRABEE
enjoy.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8RUT5iGspgc


Valerie Godwin - about 3 years ago
15 laughs

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I was waiting to hear "Paul you is a werewilf?"


Stephen A Nathe - over 2 years ago
10 laughs

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anyone else get this and IT FLIES BY NIGHT mixed-up with each other??
It might just be another case of all-too identical small pieces of crap that were once part of a much larger piece of crap...the smaller pieces, of course, having been formed when the larger piece hit the fan, and naturally a lot of crap was scattered....
hmmm....actually every MST3K'd movie was probably formed at that moment---theorists call it the BIG CRAP-SPLATTERING THEORY.


Dood - over 3 years ago
8 laughs

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I like how the two doctors at 1:03:19 have been sitting next to each other for the entire flight, but only decide to talk to each other about why they've been called to Albuquerque twenty minutes before they land.


Archaeology!
5 laughs

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Carefully ... carefully ... brush away the dirt from the little bone. Ram that trowel into the ground - you don't want it to escape and it won't hit anything important.


4 laughs

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They filmed it on a lot of things... chicken, corn, green peppers, chili, onions...


3 laughs

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Literally fourteen seconds into this film and I already hate it for what it has done to Delia Derbyshire.


Kenshin Chan - about 3 years ago
6 laughs

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This is one of my favorite episodes and I watch it all the time. For YEARS I thought at 22:00, that Gypsy had a huge arm and then a smaller arm. Only just today did I realize it's Servo's hand. I knew they were supposed to have their arms around their shoulders like in the movie but it just didn't click before. Facepalm moment for me.


Alex Stefanic - over 5 years ago
14 laughs

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I suddenly crave an onion blossom...


Rachel Anne Mullins - about 5 years ago
4 laughs

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I always crack up when the guys make eating noises! (0:11:08)


Jenica Burgos - over 4 years ago
16 laughs

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Because of this movie I can never say the word "onions" without sighing first. Nor can I read a list without thinking "sigh...onions." Thank you Johnny Longbone for making us laugh about stew, again.


Sabrina Domingues - over 4 years ago
12 laughs

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Just watched Mesa of Lost Women with RiffTrax commentary, and Bill Corbett makes a "chicken...corn...green peppers, chili.....(sigh) onions..." reference in it!


Teri Gee - about 4 years ago
11 laughs

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I actually like Johnny Longbow's character. The actor is probably the best in the movie, and he and the sheriff have about the most genuine parts.


Dave Ryder - about 3 years ago
7 laughs

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This episode is sooo awkward...right out of the gate, with the weird 'prank' (sorry for rushing the Halloween season! Dracula at your service! I got more of a reaction than I bargained for). Truly an excellent episode.


6 laughs

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The main character, according to Plot Exposition Radio at 1:12:35, is 24 years old.
I wonder if he went to the same college as the students from Ring of Terror.


Obocaj33 - about 4 years ago
8 laughs

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These are the best host segments of any episode.


Michael S - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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I CAN'T STOP LAUGHING AT SERVOS HEAD!!! LOLOLOLOL!!!!


Rifleman Ezekiel - over 3 years ago
8 laughs

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I would like to point out A: Longbow isn't a word in any Native American language I know of and B: Longbows are European weapons.

Provided we just don't call him longbone.


13 laughs

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Remember when Crow was looking for a personal catch phrase? Well, did he ever consider, "Don't forget my delicious dipping sauce!"?


Tom Blevins - over 3 years ago
9 laughs

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I forced my skull right thru my face, and refused to wash my stringy hair!


Briggs Gordon - over 3 years ago
12 laughs

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Still snickering like Muttley every time the shopping list gets recited. Every. Single. Time. Why is that so damn funny?


Kelly Slane - over 4 years ago
17 laughs

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"Mike, Crow, Snack..." LOVE Pearl


Bruce Box-Liker - almost 4 years ago
6 laughs

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"His name is Ty."
"Ty?"
"Short for Tyrannosaurus."
"Sounds like something in a museum."
"It is, usually. Ty looks a lot like a dinosaur."

If there is a worse bit of dialogue in any movie, ever, I don't know what it is.


Matt Towler - about 5 years ago
5 laughs

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I love how Mike laughs at Tom's joke at 1:03.


Bruce Ellsworth Reed - almost 4 years ago
5 laughs

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I think this is 10x worse than Manos and that's after three viewings of both!


John Carnahan - almost 4 years ago
4 laughs

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The blossomer really frames the Millenium Falcon nicely


NS - over 4 years ago
10 laughs

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A random guy with a bad haircut gains animal-themed superpowers and becomes suicidal. His competent Native friend (who somehow has an even worse haircut) knows what's happening and tries to help him. His blond girlfriend, portrayed by a non-actress, mostly just gets in the way. The villain of the piece is a big shiny head. Conclusion: this movie is what happens if you put Pumaman in a blender with a large bucket of sand.


Stereo Catz - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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"Thanks Brigham Young." Yes folks Crow made a reference to a Utah governor who died in 1877.


Rhys Patterson - over 4 years ago
7 laughs

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The couple in the movie have the same Chemistry as I did with first girl I kissed.... We recently reconnected she is now a man


Rhys Patterson - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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I think they based this movie off an episode of Star Trek with a glen or Glenda spin. Everyone wears tight loud clothes, the main actor takes his shirt off constantly and is always oiled, he has an exotic scholarly friend, he has to deal with a giant lizard monster in tons of desert settings.... And the twist is he IS the lizard monster.


Richard Deakin - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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Crappy moon-monster movie OH WOW!!! lol . I remember watching this movie back in the 80's un-mistied and it sucked back then too. Still can't understand why a hippy folk song band sung "California Lady" about a dum tight outfitted blond from N.Y. and there in New Mexico lol!!!! I hear the fishy lip guy still lives there in N.M. and is a used car salesman now. He's a lil' pissed at MST3K for dissin' him in the movie too! Voice is still froggy too lol.


Iris - over 5 years ago
13 laughs

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Ahhhhh! Ahhhhhh!
Sorry for rushing the Halloween season, but it was just to good to resist. I came here to take some screenshots and when I saw you here, I couldn't resist playing a practical joke on you. I'm afraid I got a little more reaction than I bargained for. I won't use the screenshot, that's a promise! I'm really sorry!


Stereo Catz - over 4 years ago
1 laugh

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The Brady Bill only requires waiting periods for handguns. It didn't go into effect until '94 anyway.


Stereo Catz - over 4 years ago
7 laughs

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Oh man, I've never laughed so hard as I did at "Spats and a Top hat."


Rhys Patterson - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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"Remember what the door mouse said, Feed Servo's Head..... With a zesty ranch dipping sauce when guests come over.


Peter Trinidad Niederbrach - over 5 years ago
9 laughs

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"It's an Eagles Concert, it's a Nightmare!" Man, can you change the station? I've had a rough day and I just hate the Eagles!


Rhys Patterson - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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I feel the title is a heroin addict's drug addled brain making excuses for the marks on his arms, and his peyote tripping friend goes " that would make a great movie"


7 laughs

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After having watched this one a dozen or so times, I think it might just have to be the next one I show my family. The host segments are all pretty stellar and the riffs are perfect.


Classicats - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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The drawings in the slideshow are hilarious. As are the hospital jammies.


MyMyMSTie - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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This episode is so underrated!!!


Rhys Patterson - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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Okay for a b grade horror film with a vaguely moon alien Native American monster motif I found the whole then at least not insulting like so many movies have been. Don't look it but strong Native American background on my fathers side. But the oversized tin or aluminum "ceremonial" mask did sort of blast my WTF button. No tribe ever would have that thing in any ceremony. Most tribes would not let their masks appear on film so some numb nut goes let's fake it for the weirdest joke ever. I'm not offended but it adds a whole other level of weird and artificialness to that scene fir me. And that thing is pretty freaking bizarre to begin with.


Gal Dagon - about 5 years ago
10 laughs

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Oh, sweet merciful Jesus, Tom's onion flower head almost killed me.


Leslie Doesn't Get You - over 4 years ago
9 laughs

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Their parody of VH1's Behind the Music is freakin' awesome!


Fancy Pantserton - over 4 years ago
5 laughs

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>.


6 laughs

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00:48:00 - I'm with the Moon Beast here. Televised poker is dull enough to induce a murderous rampage in anyone.


4 laughs

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00:17:17 - Crow invokes those stupid Nineties "A Diamond Is Forever" ads. :D

A Crappy Fake Moonrock Is Forever...


Desiree Ashcraft - almost 5 years ago
7 laughs

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At the concert, behind Paul: It's Lemmy from Motorhead!!!!!


Kelly Slane - almost 5 years ago
7 laughs

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"He was still alive when they found him..." - The 8 of diamonds?
*throws down card* - I fold...

That exchange killed me!


LostHighway - over 5 years ago
14 laughs

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"...Servo saw you here and explained to me that you were up here on the bridge eating peapods..." - cracks me up