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1011 - Horrors of Spider Island



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197 laughs

Comments (77) Best Riffs (229)

Matthew Boyle - about 2 years ago
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Who was the governor of minnesota in 1999? Crow makes a joke about him being a "huge, bald nazi". Pretty strong accusation. Although I'm wondering if maybe Crow is talking about the governor of Minnesota when this film was made.


Craig Scott - 12 months ago
2 laughs

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Sometimes it feels like the line, "I want Joe Frazier!" is in every other MST3k I watch ...


Kimono Dragon - over 4 years ago
8 laughs

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In the opening scene he pulls the cigarette from the girls mouth, because there is NO SMOKING allowed. He then puts it out... IN AN ASHTRAY!


The movie star~
Mike Carmona - over 3 years ago
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Wife just caught ear of "A whole island full of Gingers," and was surprised to think Tom was a racist. You know you're getting old when you have to explain to someone 6 years younger than you that the comment was made with the noblest intentions.


Bruce Box-Liker - almost 3 years ago
5 laughs

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This movie seems surprisingly pleased with itself for coming up with Gary's leg-based code system, but it never really justifies the need for it. Was Gary just super shy or something?


Leslie Doesn't Get You - over 5 years ago
13 laughs

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Brain Guy doing that scene from Flashdance with the bucket of water that comes down... So classic.


This One Hurts, Quite A Lot
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But the dance competition sketch and the "balloons" finale almost make up for it. Anyway, as a palate cleanser, how about a little Space Spider?


Scooter Atreides - almost 5 years ago
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So with the death of the stripper at the cabin while the other women were out looking for Gary, was the horror movie trope that says the sluttiest character is ALWAYS doomed born?


Austin Strong - about 5 years ago
23 laughs

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You know, Crow's article in the lifestyle section is essentially twitter.


Eric Allen - 3 months ago
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Gary should take his ray-shins over to aunt Effluvia's and share in her tray-sher.


DC3 versus DC-8
Rosebud - 9 months ago
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Huh, no comment that the plane took off with 2 engines, and crashed with 4. Usually they pick up on that stuff. Like a Ford turning into a Chevy during a cop chase.


riff or no riff
Rosebud - 9 months ago
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The girl says "this darn heat" and Crow goes "hmmm". Does that count as a riff? I spit out some of my gin & tonic, so I guess that counts as a riff!


James Laramie III - over 3 years ago
1 laugh

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For a good time call Mike Nelson


Anne Fleming - over 5 years ago
11 laughs

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Could there be more goose poop in my yard?


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I'm not that omnipotent, Pearl.


Alex Stefanic - almost 5 years ago
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It's like they made a porno but forgot the sex.


Taiters - 7 months ago
2 laughs

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This episode has such an early 8th season vibe for me. I like it very much!


Veklorr Vigorr - 7 months ago
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Lost it at "Settling. The Movie!" OMGLOL


Knox Harrington - 10 months ago
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I think that "Can you really do that through pants?", delivered as one of the dancing girls nuzzles up against the crotch of Gary's extremely high-waisted pants, might be the dirtiest riff they ever did on this show.


Vince Giangiacomo - over 4 years ago
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Harald Maresch who played Joe, his claim to fame was getting Lupe Velez pregnant and causing her suicide.


Stereo Catz - about 1 year ago
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Reminds me of Vault 108 in Fallout 3 "Gary... Gary". Seeing as there are already a couple of mst3k references in there I can't help but wonder if that was intentional.


Funky The Monkey - about 1 year ago
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I guess this movie can be scary for those with a sex or woman phobia. With that logic, half the internet is a giant horror flick. XD


Brian Peter Vandenbroek - about 2 years ago
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Am I the only one confused by why the horror movie uses make-out music for its opening credits?


Matthew Boyle - about 2 years ago
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Is it just me or are the spiders not all that big for the webs they create? Although, come to think of it, I don't know the ratio of spider size to web size. After all, spider webs are always bigger than the actual spider who made them. Maybe crow can put "what is the ratio of spider size to web size" in his column just after "how much goose poop is in my yard".


Rod Sturdy - almost 2 years ago
4 laughs

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I was for the spider .


Creepy Girl - over 1 year ago
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Do the out of order host segments drive anyone else crazy?

Cause I'm sitting here pulling out individual eyebrow hairs and I think that may be why.


Kimono Dragon - over 1 year ago
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Man, I just gotta finish that 'Hooked on Phonics' program. Got 45 minutes into this episode before I realized it was only the "HORRORS" of Spider Island! What a difference one extra syllable makes...


Benny Hill Where Are You?
Rosebud - about 3 years ago
5 laughs

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That last chase scene totally needs to be put to the Yakkity Sax soundtrack. Has anyone done that yet?

...shrimp based religion...


Dood - over 2 years ago
3 laughs

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At 29:31, Georgia says that when the professor wrote his last diary entry, he had no idea how horribly he would die. Except, of course, for the very last thing he wrote in that entry, where he says something terrible will happen to him. Which Georgia herself brings up. In her very next line.


Muffin - over 1 year ago
2 laughs

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Did Robert Lippert produce this?! All it needs is a tacked-on religious message.


Snuffy Wuffykiss - almost 2 years ago
3 laughs

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They are on a deserted island for 30 days with a months worth of food and they make NO attempt to survive at all. What was the plan for day 32? Lets all just lay down and die now. And what did they DO for a whole month?
Having spent a couple of years away from civilization, I can tell you that is a LOT of free time to do nothing with.


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"There's no reason to fear the worst, all we know is the plane caught fire and we lost radio contact." (Mike chuckles)
Yea. that's a pretty good reason to fear the worst. The plane caught fire, over the friggin' Pacific Ocean. Where, exactly, are they going to perform an emergency landing? They're gonna go the way of Amelia Earheart and MH370.


Robert Brown - about 3 years ago
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So this movie amply demonstrates that as long as there have been movies, there has been soft core porn. The question I have is this: are soft core porn movies so insufferably stupid because the only people willing to make them lack ept, or because the insufferable stupidity is part of the appeal of soft core porn?

Also, was this movie titillating even in 1950 (or whenever it was made)? Maybe when the prints were fresh and vivid?

Did I mention that I think this movie is insufferably stupid? I kind of lost my train of thought. I think maybe this movie is draining...what was I...huhuhuh boobies! Huhhuh.


Stephen A Nathe - over 3 years ago
4 laughs

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Crow says MRYXL!!


3 laughs

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@9:50 They're going to be dancing in Singapore.


Last of the Wild Ponies - over 2 years ago
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Does "Bob Boxbody" in the waiting room scene remind anyone else of Nick Offerman?


Stereo Catz - almost 5 years ago
3 laughs

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I find it interesting that they should know the name of the guy from "Blue Lagoon".


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At 0:47:28, I would of suggested some joke about Roy Batty from Blade Runner.


Wade Ebel - almost 5 years ago
6 laughs

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"This is called, 'You'll never have sex with me'"

Oh god xd


Stereo Catz - over 3 years ago
12 laughs

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I mean what other purpose could a hammer with a long handle have besides excavating uranium? It's obvious isn't it?


James GreyWolf - about 3 years ago
5 laughs

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Wow... just hit me.... this is the season of the were(fill in the blank). Werewolf, werelizard, werebat, and now a werespider. Kinda pushin' it, doncha think?


Jane Sproul - almost 3 years ago
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Horrors of Spider Island 1-100 are all variations of Gary's shirtlessness and/or personality.


Jerome Butch Neal Sr. - almost 3 years ago
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"28 long days and nights" - That's how late my videos are


Jerome Butch Neal Sr. - almost 3 years ago
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Try crossing your legs NOW, Pal!


1 laugh

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Is it just me or is the host segments backwards the first one was mike in the web and the second was mike judging pearl, brain guy, and bobo. It seems to make more sense flipped


James GreyWolf - about 3 years ago
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The Woody Allen-esque ending that they so rudely interrupted was going so well...


Rosebud - about 3 years ago
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I kept restarting the streams, switched from #1 to #2, opened in youtube, because the sound wasn't in sync with the lips. I don't know how long it took me to realize the movie was dubbed! ha. I guess the riff about foreign woman was the clue.


David - almost 5 years ago
4 laughs

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Did anyone else notice that three or four times they make a point of mentioning the professor's revolver, but the prop gun is an automatic?


Robert Brown - about 3 years ago
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Probably, there's a master-key line in every experiment. Now that I have developed this theory I will determine whether it is true. In the menatime, I offer the master-key to this...thing.

Tom: "Another character flees the film."

Why am I still watching this? Gyar.


Robert Brown - about 3 years ago
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Okay, so I'm fifteen minutes from the end, and I feel like I've been watching this interminable trashcan of a flick for six days already. Does it, in fact, end?

Tom has always amused me with his exhortations of a movie to "end!" but this is one time I find myself screaming at the movie. Holy Criminy, just cussing end already! (I suppose I could stop watching...naaah!)


3 laughs

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My memories are a little vague, but I believe that this was the very first episode I ever watched, which is a little funny because it's one of the last ones they ever made. But as a result, I have a deep fondness for this episode. My family and I mention "Shrimp personal watercraft, shrimp-based religion" on a regular basis.


Brian Kijowski - over 3 years ago
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"I'd pay eleven thousand dollars to be there right now." LOL


Forrest Baker Pusey - over 3 years ago
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Yes, Crow. After ten years you have indeed earned one ten-second break.


Kenshin Chan - over 3 years ago
8 laughs

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Mike makes a very pretty languid, helpless and sex-starved lady!


Just had to try it.
Stereo Catz - over 3 years ago
5 laughs

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Phil Carstens - over 3 years ago
7 laughs

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You know, with the way this movie hates women, it's an hour and a half of me rubbing my forehead thinking "Really?"


Jaguar Wong Abides - over 3 years ago
2 laughs

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Mike as Gary....hahahahaha...poor Bobo...


Mitchell - over 4 years ago
5 laughs

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Should have been "The Whores Of Spider Island". Guess they had to do something to the only man to keep the film from devolving into a nonstop bonkfest.


Joseph Ewing - over 4 years ago
3 laughs

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I can't believe this movie was not considered pornographic back then. Bettie Page was this graphic.


John Carnahan - almost 4 years ago
4 laughs

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Ah the fifties.


Aaron Kuehmichel - about 4 years ago
7 laughs

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Hey, my home town is name-checked in this one! At the 15:00 mark Mike complains about only flying with 'seed salesmen from La Crosse.' XD


Mike Carmona - about 4 years ago
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"Mr. Beardsley -- I mean, Gary!"


Linda Televangelista - over 4 years ago
7 laughs

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I can't believe this movie doesn't have more laughs! This was always one of my favorites.


Matthew McMillan - about 4 years ago
9 laughs

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One of my top ten episodes. Never gets tiresome. "The HORRORS of spider island!"


Joseph Ewing - over 4 years ago
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0:10:29 What the hell is that look supposed to mean?


Robert Ferguson - about 5 years ago
4 laughs

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10:30..... the look on that secretary's face, put her in a patent leather suit, give her a whip, in some dingy basement, what have ya got ? Babs is in some DEEP Kim-chi, that's what !


Scott A. Taylor - over 4 years ago
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Strangled by a spider! .. Gee how totally horrific and scary and stuff! Completely uncomparable to being eaten by a shark, or being turned inside out by the Thing!.


Scott A. Taylor - over 4 years ago
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Oh god I want them all to die within the first 5 minutes of the film .. but dammit they persist. My vision of hell .. trapped on a raft with whimpering, nail varnish obsessed harpies ... eugh!


Gal Dagon - about 5 years ago
8 laughs

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I want to feel clean again.


Mr.Jensen - over 4 years ago
4 laughs

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The movie falls off the rails 3/4 through, but otherwise provides excellent fodder for the boys. An underated episode I highly recommend.


Andrew Jones - about 5 years ago
9 laughs

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Every time I find myself being titillated by the languid sexploitation I try to remind myself that these ladies, if they are alive, are probably hooked up to ventilators in a nursing home right now.


Stereo Catz - almost 5 years ago
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I love how the man-spider loses ground on the vertical climb.


Phil Carstens - over 5 years ago
12 laughs

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Huh. I just watched Kitten With a Whip before this, so this is the second time tonight I've seen Mike in drag.