208 - Lost Continent
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"Pictures? You're lucky that you weren't killed!" - "That's the thing. I WAS killed. We are all in hell."
"You sure it wasn't just your imagination?" - "Uh, he HAS NO imagination. He's a scientist."
"Feels like we've been climbing for days." Tell us about it.
"Joel, why are we watching this boring rock climbing sequence?"
"Well, because it's there."
Everybody talks to inanimate objects in this movie, pretty strange...
Crow: Doesn't the action let up for a moment...?
Joel: Yeah, it's better than the Indiana Jones truck scene!
It's like a game of Operation. Touch her there and she buzzes. Remove tongue from tonsils.
Dead end. Dead end. Dead end, dead end, dead end, dead end, dead eeeennnndddd...
This is just for conversation, but if you were going to eat a human body, where would you start?
What about Hungadunga?
Oh, you left him out, and he's the most important one, too.
You know, even rock climbing movies don't have this much rock climbing.
This movie makes 'Shoah' look like a two reel-er!
Look at this duplex you could get- whoop... well, it's going fast.
"We've hit the top!" Broadway!
Hey, could you turn down your Aaron Copeland watch, please?
I'll lead. Give to Cesar what is Cesar's.
We're back on reel 2! Get word to the projectionist! Get us Reel 4 and get me the hell out of here!
"Gimme a cigarette will ya?" The thinner the air, the richer the smoke
"Joel, Why are we watching this dull mountain climbing sequence?"
"Well, because it's there."
Just as the dinosaurs must protect their young, so must you invest in Mutual of Omaha.
"You are a... cynical, suspicious man, aren't you, Nolan?"
NO, I'M NOT. Who told you that?
"You gotta make this jump." -- or you're not in the club. (ot in the club.)
Crow: Hey, you kids get down from there!
Tom: Break your neck...
Crow: Or I'll break it for you.
'My calendar says 20th century A.D. not 100,000,000 B.C.'
Yeah, but you've got a Chippendale calendar.
You've been sarcastic this whole film. Is something wrong?
"Now, this is only for conversation, but if you were gonna eat a human body, where would you start?"
"Huh..."
Just live with the hurt you guys...tough it out...get stronger...
No country can survive when it loses the respect of it's own people or of the world.
Servo: "It hasn't stopped the ol' U S of A
Hey, a whole other mountain and twice as big as this one! No..No..No..Noooooo!
Ahhh...Felipe, you're getting a good draw off that thing! (cough)
Now this is only for conversation but if you were going to eat a human body where would you start?
No one will be admitted during the breathtaking climbing scene!
Everybody talks to inanimate objects in this Movie. Pretty strange!
Mmmm..it's like an Operation Game...you touch her there and she buzzes!
'You know what this test means!?!' "Does this mean we can kill stuff?"
What are the going to call the Sequel?...Guys! "Padding & Paddling"
Hey, I can see my house from here!
"Let me see... you were taking me up to the door to say goodnight."
You tried to use me as a key.
How did I do that? Do that? That's really neat! Neat! This film sucks! Sucks!
-Joel, why are we watching this dull mountain climbing sequence?
-Well because it’s there.
“The boys you trained to fly, what are they like today?” Oh, they’re dead.
From the director that brought you that earlier stuff, more of the same.
You know, even rock climbing movies don't have this much rock climbing.
Get away, the stock footage is erupting!
Hey, save the fog. We can use it in a Ridley Scott film.
We're gonna need a bigger cave! We're gonna get a bigger cave, right??
"Dead end." "Dead end." ♫Dead end, dead end, dead end, dead end!♫
"We're low on food, we're low on water, we're low on ammunition..."
-All we got are those little silver balls that go on top of cakes.
Now this is only for conversation, but if you were going to eat a human body, where would you start?
You ever fly one of these things before?
Rules of the road boys, see anything, shoot to kill. I mean......... dont shoot it if it is gonna advance the plot though.......
"How long do you think it'll take you to get the unit out of the rocket?" "Hey! That's kind of personal."
Hey, Jerry, there's a problem with the stock footage simulator.
"Plot?" [whistle whistle] "Here, Plot." [whistle] "Storyline...?"
"That square bugs me! He really bugs meeee!!"
"Hey. The land of Dairy Queen™."
"Aahh, this doesn't scare me. I ate a rat once."
"Not since Andy Warhol's Empire State has a camera stayed in one place for so long!"
"I can see our careers from here!"
"'Scuse me, Major. Are you wearing your jimmy hat?"
"Mrs. Roosevelt's lookin' fine!"
"It all started at a little 500-watt radio station in Fresno, California..."
"'Do not remove this tag under penalty of law!!'"
"Hey, I've gone color blind." Well, if this movie were in color that would mean something.
"Hey, does this movie have a continental breakfast?" No... they 'lost' the continental breakfast.
"We'll worry about that when the time comes." God knows we have tons of that lying around!!!
Maybe there was hand soap in the hydraulic fluid... (SST Death Flight)
Woah! It's like an operation game! Touch her there and she buzzes!
As I was telling that other guy, I never wanted to die in a plane but now I'm very excited about it!
"Do you know what a miracle is, Lieutenant?" The words 'the end'?
Hey, we landed on a witch! Maybe the film will be in color from this point.
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"If you were gonna eat a human body, where would you start?" An interesting question posed by Joel. While stationed in the South Pacific during the big one, my father had a few interactions with admitted cannibals. Pleasant enough until you crossed 'em, they said their favorite part of a human was the hand, in particular the meaty bit around the thumb. No accounting for taste but then we all, at some point, have an attraction for our own thumbs. Something some never seem to outgrow.
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Joel's goatee makes him look like evil Joel from a parallel dimension but without evil parallel dimension makeup.
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1:08:35 Crow-T says, "Stuck in the middle with you."
Guess what this line is from...
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Nooooooooooo, no more rock climbing!
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Joel... This turquoise jumpsuit and weird little beard.... No...
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They've run out of ammo they've run out of food and water but they have cases of cigarettes!
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33:41 It's important! It means something!
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I watch it already! https://smokymountainhikingtrails.net
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Mike's Hugh Beaumont of the Apocalypse was legit scary.
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werewolves of london lol
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You may recognize Rostov from "Attack of the Puppet People", which RiffTrax was so good as to skewer. You may recognize him from a lot of stuff, actually; John Hoyt was a prolific actor who was in Star Trek and lots and lots of westerns, among many other things.
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If Jungle Goddess met Jurassic Park...
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Nice to have an answer to the question : "What if he simply REFUSES to go watch the movie ?"
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I think Rock Climbing may in fact be worse than Deep Hurting. What do you think, sirs?
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We've always managed to be first in the race against time, well except for that whole Sputnik thing and putting a man in space, but gosh darnet we put a man on the moon first! Except I don't think that had even happened by then.
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So in the end their stranded? Having a canoe in the Pacific Ocean ain't gonna get you far. And what happened to the native people? Do we assume they died or left?
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FOUND! The “lost” last five minutes of Lost Continent…
The survivors finally make it back to civilization and find out the rocket was already obsolete before they even left. The search party was just an elaborate ruse to get rid of Major Joe Nolan (Cesar Romero) for a few weeks so the commanding General could nail the base hussy, Marla. That night Major Nolan confronts the General at the Officers Club, his face contorted in rage. “Now just take it easy, Joe,” the General says, “I can explain.” Major Nolan draws back his fist. The General cowers, “I swear, Joe, I didn’t know about all the rocks.” Major Nolan is ready to strike, ablaze in anger, then pulls his punch, laughs heartily, holds out his hand for the General to shake, says, “You sly old so and so…you really got me good this time, General, I have to give you that!” (laugher) “Hope you were careful, General, and if not name it after me!” (wild laughter) “Now buy me a beer!"
THE END.
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1:34 oooh the millennium falcon.
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i sent a description of a drawing of an orthographic projection of an expensive working model of the cool thing to the address shown.
but after posting, soon realised they won't ever get it.
''why wont they get it?'' i don't hear you ask?
well i'll tell ya little timmy...
it's because i forgot the stamp.
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BROADWAY!!!
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Confession time: I actually like the triceratops design. Very distinctive.
That being said, I can't help but wonder what the world's scientists thought of the whole thing when they got back: "You went off seeking a wayward missile and found WHAT in the south Pacific?!"
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So...does anyone else find Joel incredibly cute in this one, with his goatee and his hair all sassy?
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I always wonder how much Joel regrets the goatee era
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It's funny I was just reading the seventh book in Steven King's dark tower and it makes a reference to this movie.
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Sweet, a reference to the world's truly worst movie, Andy Warhol's Empire State Building--the Movie. (Some call it art, but then again some people would call it art if Warhol had farted in a jar and declared it to be his masterpiece.)
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...this entire movie was filmed in 11 days...obvious...
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I wanted to hear the four monks and albino squirrel joke!
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New Cinema Edition of, "Lost Continent" now showing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IY1FaG4MYhk
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It's a 1930 Duesenberg J, but it's made of T-1000 technology, and morphs into the head of Elsa Lanchaster portraying the Bride of Frankenstein. In the pilot's seat (one of her eyeballs) is Han Solo, and his crew is The Beatles. His co-pilot is Sean Connery in a tux.
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What the hell was that ending about!? Their in a boat, NO food NO water NO idea where to go and NO way to get back home!? Will there be a Lost Continent 2
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Hey, there is a Millennium Falcon back there.
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I have a technical question. How did they make Mike (as Hugh Beaumont) look like he was in black and white? I considered it could be just good art design and makeup but then he lit his pipe and his face was its normal color in that light. Is there some light filter that cuts out all color?
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Do you ever wish you could enter the Cool Thing contest?
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I wonder if the seven doors is supposed mean that the theater is the 7th circle of hell.
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Why does ShoutFactory's stuff always run at about 50% less frames per second? It's excruciating
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Just added a new link that plays nice and smooth. 😀
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So, rock climbing then
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Rock climbing, everybody. Rock climbing.
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Man, Crow got pretty dark in this episode...
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That "Pink Panther" tune sung by Servo made me laugh harder than it should have
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"Get the clown suit..." -too funny!
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Wretchedness of the movie aside, I'm just thrown off by Joel's beard.
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Some of the best riffing from the early years. What cracks me up is that they riffed on Sid Melton for being on The Danny Thomas Show but never made a riff about his most famous role as Alf Monroe on "Green Acres."
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Okay, I know that in this era gun control meant holding it with both hands, but Jesus. "Let's go up to these peaceful people to ask for information with our guns pointed right at them."
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I thought i recognized Sid Melton from somewhere...THE GOLDEN GIRLS!
ITS SAL!
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Can someone tell me the connection between the reptile voices and '..now a word from Hunt & Wesson'? (1:06:00) They used it on Ring of Terror too.
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It appears that someone has started doing references for this episode, but they only have the theater segments. Here's the first of five parts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=10OxFASfNnc
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How did they get through this without any mention of Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World?
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I can't believe Joel didn't start climbing the rope during the mountain climbing scene.
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Director Neufeld, known Nazi spy, cocaine fiend and pyromaniac...You can stop right there Crow, that's all I need to know.
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So I just realized that our co-pilot Danny is played by one Mr. Chick Chandler... aka Wilbur, the gad-about guardian angel from "Once Upon a Honeymoon." Wonder which he enjoyed playing more: a rock climbing, dino-shootin' stick jockey or the most foppish cherub that heaven's show choir could spare.
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Before there was deep hurting... Before there was sandstorm... There was, ROCK CLIMBING!!!
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I actually think that some of the lines in this movie are pretty funny. Granted, the movie as a whole is awful, but I found myself laughing at a couple of lines.
"Dame said she voted last year. Maybe she lied..." I'm sorry, but I laughed.
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over 5 minutes of walking and climing around the mountain.
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ouch....this really HURTS!
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“This is an airplane, there is no upstairs.” Yeah, well in a C-130 you have to climb a ladder to get into the cockpit.
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Watching all that crappy rock climbing footage, I almost Lost my Continence.
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Another one where the video is gone due to copyright. :\
Time to search the web for an additional link.
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This movie would be completely unwatchable without the riffing. "Rock Climbing..." has been a household joke since I was a kid and first saw this episode. I'd forgotten how plodding and pointless it really is.
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I LOVE this ep. This + Catalina Caper are two of the tragically underrated shining stars of Season 2. That being said - for the love of all that is holy and right in this world, SOMEONE with more digital editing skills that I have please download this vid and fix (read: eliminate) that ridiculous goatee of Joel's!
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What is the guy implying when he says, "The dame said she voted last year. Maybe she lied?" The joke just missed my head.
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“He’s pretty old for a sergeant.” According to his stripes he’s an E4, Senior Airman. He would need one more stripe to make sergeant.
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Sigmund Neufeld later in his career directed alot of Aarron Spelling shows.It's true theres an second act in your career after producing cheesy b-movies.
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They must have seen "Vicar of Dibley," "No,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no,no....yes!"
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Seeing Sid Melton getting killed by a triceratops makes it all worth it.
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Wikipedia says the filmmakers tinted green the actual lost world part of the movie. Does anyone see indication of that? It looks like any other black and white B-movie from the fifties.
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Ram Chips - Good thing: Dr. Forrester's hair is getting progressively madder with each episode. Bad thing: If 20 minutes of rock climbing wasn't bad enough, they have only 9 rocks, which are rectangular blocks...ugh. Men climb up rocks onto the SAME rocks! May as well mention the trees...men walk off the set...back onto the SAME set with the SAME trees...oh help, I love this episode.
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Huh, I only just now realised that the Mads' invention became reality in the most ridiculous product launch of 2007: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=XUuwEq98ByM . Ahead of their time!
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Hey! That's the army base from Rocketship XM!
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Why "Drop Personal Pronouns"? That style of broken English is really more about dropping articles, conjugating verbs incorrectly, and maybe using the wrong pronouns.
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Gene stop this crazy thing!!!!!!
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Why did nobody mutter "Hail Caeser" whenever Cesar Romero went by? Geez guys, opportunity lost
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I almost sent my "working model" of the cool thing. It was a bong packed with green. Somehow it never made it to the post office.
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The "model-a-model" line is one of my all time MST3K riffs.
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this episode really brings back memories as it was the first mst3k episode i ever saw
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I think from 30:00 to 60:00 is among the best stuff they did in the entire series. Perfect.
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I love when Tom and Joel/Mike exclude Crow in their shenanigans. I want to tell Crow they do it only because he reacts so badly, but of course, he's just a puppet in a picture show.
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"Hey, did you every fly one of these things?" "Nope!" Great repeatable phrase, will have to remember for next flight!
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This episode has some great host segments, esp 'Drop Personal Pronouns or Die' That skit is hilarious.
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It always blows my mind how people living in third world conditions somehow manage to stay well groomed. .
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Say what you want about his methods, Frank makes Dr F push the button.
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That opening skit has to be one of Frank's finest.
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I'm not saying Joel was stoned 90% of the time... I'm only saying I'M stoned, and I unserstand him 90% of the time.
Nice suit, brah. Can you get me hired?
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I like the way Crow says 'samich', like my husband.
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Somehow I thought a movie about The Joker fighting dinosaurs would be more entertaining.
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Oh, for the Trekkies out there: The Russian scientist in this film played Dr. Boyce, McCoy's predecessor as CMO of the Enterprise, in the rejected Original Series pilot: The Cage, under Captain Pike.
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How did they make Mike and the set he's in look black in white when he appears on the view screen as Hugh Beaumont without filming it in black and white? When he flicks on the lighter, you can see the color of his face.
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Who the hell saw Cesar Romero and said, "We've found our Joker."
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It took me the whole movie to figure out that scientist Mike (Black hat guy) was the man in the wheelchair from "When Worlds Collide"!
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“Just bring the essentials.” Yet Joe brought the parachute.
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“It’s all the plants Major. It’s almost pure oxygen.” So let’s a light up a cigarette.
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When a running gag piques with these guys, duck-n-cover (and don't be drinking your beer)
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And they all died from exposure. The End.
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I love how all the sets on this movie were clearly the same few props moved around.
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Oh, and inset "dive" or "crash" anytime ya feel like it!
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Ceasar Romero one of the orginal Jokers. who would have thought. Ha Ha Ha Ha
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I die everytime the cameleon makes its dramatic appearance at 44:00. We used to keep lizards as pets and the only thing scary about this scene is that Lizzie is about to do some ROCK CLIMBING.
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0:38:33- Check out how Hugh Beaumont starts laughing once Monkey Boy reaches the top! I think you can even hear him laugh!
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13:31 How can you not love Crow and his promiscuous antics?
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These sets look oddly familiar...
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Mountain climbing Joel
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This episode is great underrated goodness, I guess I was weaned on Manos, so I love the movies that reach such terribleness to make them nearly lose it.
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How bad is this movie, when the whole premise of the show is that these guys can't be driven crazy, even by the worst movies? I gotta believe the guys were actually out of character, and really couldn't tolerate this movie.
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This was also called "Cesar Romero's Night of the Living Dead".
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So I guess the original order was Rocket Attack USA, then Wild Rebels, then Lost Continent. I wonder how Ring of Terror slipped in there.
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He loved too much
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This is one of my favorites because of the way that Joel and the Bots totally lose it because of the rock climbing. I know a lot of folks that have a tough time with this episode, but I think the pay off is worth it. Not only do we get Cesar Romero, but we also get "monkey boy" Sid Melton. Plus, Crow's line, "Will someone PLEASE tell the director about compressing time through editing?!", is a complete classic.