Stupid quotes that categorically are not true...
"Nobody's life is more important than another's." -Ator
"Human knowledge, even in its most exalted form, is nothing against fate." - the old wise man
"Remember that imagination is as important as knowledge." - the old wise man

sula gin.........sula gin to quit

sula gin sula gin to quit

"Of course I could simply torture you for the information i needed... but no, that would be too simple. And spoil our little game."

Eh what? Is this like a reverse Evil Overlord thing? Where the villain trying to too clever ultimately comes back to bite him in the @$$?

Wait a minute... in the hang-gliding scene... where did Ator jump FROM?!?

For a hilarious synopsis, check it out: https://mst3k.fandom.com/wiki/MST3K_301_-_Cave_Dwellers

This is the D version of conan the barbarian

Can't figure out why there are so many jokes in Joel-era MST3K about Desiderata.

**MST3K FAN EXCLUSIVE** 30 Year Anniversary NEW Fan Based Show Opening. This is a version NEVER seen on TV. I encourage you to watch it to the very end. 2:34, the real hardcore MSTIES should appreciate it. Do hope everyone will. What episode is the final clip from? ENJOY....
https://youtu.be/IDu4AgDp_bM

''i guess you could say, we're buyin' it wholesale, and passin' the savings on to you''

that mentos commercial, what the actual heck???

cant believe they missed this riff opportunity near the start.
the girl walks in to scene and says to man at the desk ''you called me father?''
''yes , sorry dear, its just you bear a striking resemblance to my dad''

frank is really growing on me. as much as i miss josh as tom servo, i really like frank, he's just weird. it kind of feels like he's a friggin broken android or something. lol. i still hope to see josh again at some point, i read on the good ol wikipedia, that he left because at the time he was only 17, so there was a big age gap between him and the others, but mostly that he started feeling unhappy with the more professional approach that the comedy channel demanded, and so left. i can understand that. i mean cable tv was kind of closer to what youtube is today, and then to go from that to a proper tv network, with executives and producers, and big wigs and suits, etc. it wouldhave been a hella different environment, plus he was pretty young so its understandable. but i really do hope they brought him back at some point in some way, even if its as a different character or on the viewer. but to see him riffing again would be cool, he was a great tom servo.

love the archive link (link 3) cuz it has all the adverts/commercials in it from back in the day. im from england so its cool to see what american ads were like back then, especially when the ad for 'it could happen to you' came on, i remember when that came out when i was a kid, i tell ya what, they dont make films like that anymore, it was a good flick. plus bridget fonda, mmmmpfff, even though i was only 10, i thought she was lush, i still think she's hot. but anyway. its like a glimpse into the past when things like this keep the old ads on, gives you a window into what was going on back then, like the OJ simpson arraignment etc. really cool

Did anyone else get the Jimmy Carl Black reference?!?! The kung fu guy TOTALLY looks like him!!! "Hi, I'm Jimmy Carl Black, I'm the Indian of the group!" If you like Zappa, watch 200 Motels, its Jimmy at his best.

I'm still shaking my head at the very end. So the old dude insists Ator not kill Zor because it would lower him... somehow. Uh, HOW many thugs and mooks did Ator stab and bomb and kill to get into the stupid castle?!

I like Mike over Joel as a general rule, but there are certain Joel moments that showcase his dry and understated humor perfectly. Take, for instance, this invention exchange. "Everybody loves tar. Sure, who, doesn't? But scientists have known for well over a year that it's bad for you."

Happy Thanksgiving! In honor of the Season 12 Gauntlet premiere including, “Ator, the Fighting Eagle”, here is the uncut sequel known to everyone as, “Cave Dwellers”. Thong, the fish is ready!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UXWkQkkkEFM

Why were they calling the Asia guy "Gomez?"

'The Lucid Version of the Really Bad Opening Credits' host segment - FUN..NN..NNY (said while giggling). I particularly liked the way they went on and on and (yawn) on. Joel's Goose of Death hat has got to be the prop I would want.

Dr. F. asks Joel, "How did you fare going through the asteroid belt?"
"Jeepers! Don't remind me," Joel replies, scratching his backside in remembered pain.
No, no, Joel. He asked about asteroids.

LOL did anyone else notice the motorboat crow gave ator in the opening story?

"How much Keeffe is in this movie, anyway?"
"MILES O'Keeffe"
Greatest credits riff of all time.

Charles Borromel, this movie's half-asleep snoremaster, Acronus (sp?), also appeared in Ladyhawke. Remember the prisoner at the beginning of the film who informed the bishop's soldiers that "The Mouse" had escaped? "...To ease the pain... he's down the drain!" There you go.

John. Saxon appears to have. Been taking acting. Lessons. From William Shat. Ner.

Hey girl, it's pretty disrespectful to call your father a dud.
*finishes movie*
Never mind, he is a total dud.

Apparently Miles O'Keefe was amused by this episode. He knew the film was cheesy and enjoyed it being skewered.

Ator is a very handsome woman.

It's too bad for this actress that 'Twilight' didn't come out until so many years later--she's every bit the horrible actress that Kristen Stewart is, and hotter to boot.

These "heroes" allow a whole lot of people to be killed before they actually do any "hero-ing"!

How much time does Ator spend on his hair each day?

I know that this is going to sound really crazy. But trust me, I'm telling the truth. The fourth movie in this series (so either the movie right after Cave Dwellers or the movie after that) is also a sequel to Troll 2. Apparently, it is listed as being sequels for BOTH the Troll series and the Ator series. This movie is called Troll 3 Part 2 (The Blade of Power). It doesn't feature Miles Okeefe, but it DOES still have a character named Ator. It also features the goblins from Troll 2, and there is a bizarre scene where one of the goblins makes out with Ator's wife.

Having now seen Ator: The Fighting Eagle (which is the first Ator movie), I gotta say that the quality went waaaaay down between movies. Ator: The Fighting Eagle is not a good movie. It's a clear Conan the Barbarian rip-off, but it remains internally consistent and seems to have been planned out in advance, where Cave Dwellers seems to have been written as it was being filmed, had no sense of what kind of world it was in and continually seemed to jump between the prehistoric era and the Middle Ages.

I have slow-motioned through every scene I think it could have been.... But WHERE is the caveman wearing sunglasses? When? Which pillaging scene? Was it cut from the MST3K episode? Can anyone help?

I've narrowed down to 2 possibilities of why this film was made. (1) Tax Right Off (2) An experiment on how to stretch 25 minutes of dialog into a whole movie

There's a commercial property company named Sandor that has signs everywhere. I keep laughing at them and hear an internal monologue "You can call him Sandy" ....

I love this movie, I used to watch these movies when I was a kid, I actually rented this at the video store, it is sooo much better when MST3K does it though. The bad 80's and 90's stuff is always my favorite because it is the stuff of my youth. I remember Master Ninja when it was a show on T.V., I was about 8, I loved it, so seeing this stuff riffed is just awesome for me.

I love it when the bots fall apart. Crow's arm has a mind of its own while cheering for Frank! I am watching these in order after many years and I wonder when I am going to come across the episode where Crow's eyes pop out onto the table.

What was the point of the character with the beard who was introduced in the village scene and killed off ten minutes later in the snake pit. He didn't further the plot at all.

One of my favorite episodes of all time! The bit where they redo the opening credits gets me every time.

WOW!! @ 1:19:45 was probably THE worst idea they could have come up with!

'Thong'!? his name is thong?

One MST3k riff that never fails to make me laugh REALLY HARD, like throw-back-my-head-and-slap-my-knee-and-not-be-able-to-breathe kind of laugh, is "I'm the best-lookin' man in the Middle Ages! My, my my!"

Gomez is my favorite

This movie might be bad but I'm crushin on the barbarian chick.

Never really noticed this before but Gypsy's voice kind of sounds like Billy West's impersonation of Jackie Martling.

33:24 why does Ator refer to that woman as if she were a man?

The first half-hour or at least to the first host segment break, is the funniest and best-riffed opening stretch of ALL of the experiments.......................(that i've seen)

Villian: Let me introduce you to Sandor. Crow: You can call me Sandy.

Definitely my favorite episode. The timing of the riffs terrific. They nailed it all. I had to watch many times to get all the riffs I missed while choking with laughter. I wonder how I would have made through my second deployment without these guys.

Why do they say "Puma!" (pronounced pew-ma)? It can't possibly be a reference to pumaman which is like 7 seasons from now. But that's the only instance I've heard puma mispronounced that way. In that episode they even say "It's pronounced puma." So it's not a Midwestern accent thing.

I heard that they originally cast Tor Johson for the part of Ator, but he didn't look good in tiny leather. They then asked him to play the father since he spoke haltingly and looked bored always, he went for the part of Beth in Skydivers (Time to have coffee....).
If I know the theory of flight can I make a glider in 2 minutes too ???
Just wish Gomez wouldn't step on other actors lines all the time.

"Grog just threw a bone into the air, and it turned into a spaceship!" I'm betting you recognize the reference to the beginning of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

http://youtu.be/qtbOmpTnyOc

The monolith appears, the apes evolve. They learn to use bones as weapons. This is the Dawn of Man. The ape throws the bone into the air, and, as it tumbles in freefall, we cut to a bone-shaped spaceship.

The scene was parodied in a Monty Python cartoon:

http://youtu.be/bLfN9psJo_E

And then, decades later, when a local TV show got picked up by a national network, they designed their spaceship to look like a giant bone in reference to those two clips. (An old sci-fi movie and a riff on it.)

So Crow's riff comes full circle to the Satellite of Love.

"Dahd?"

This is a hard one, guys, it's just so... dull... Oh man. I dunno how much I could bear this one if it weren't for Joel and the bots...

24:31 joel reminds me of ted mosby lmao

Bit of trivia: Charles Borromel and David Cain Haughton (as David Brandon) were in "Caligula 2: The Untold Story" together (D'Amato directed both); before that, Borromel played Caligula in "The Last Gladiator". And, I have to admit: David was pretty cute back then!

Eeetz ze wango ze tango! Wango tango! Wango tango!

Thanks to not having Comedy Central (Channel? at the time) this was the only episide I had on tape for many years.

No!

how does ravanni know ator is there and why did the villagers have a plan to trap him?

Oh my god I must have watched this episode at least three times and this is the first time I noticed the dog even though they announce it by saying "It's Marmaduke" and Crow's panting.

lol joel has to hold tom servo's sign so that it says Dr. Forrester instead of Frank.

so... ator has an automatic cage door in his primitive cave??

I can't get over those handrails on the stairs. I mean, really? What, was there some kind of ancient OSHA?

Just a couple of questions about that old man:
1) did he study under William Shatner, on using pauses to convey tension?
and
2) Did the guy chug a 2 gallon bottle of Robitussin and eat a box full of Benedryl before they started filming ?? The guy has all the emotional/facial expressions of the statues of Easter Island....

So you live around here much?

Is it just me or does everyone else think Gomez just talks too dang much ? : P
Where does Ator keep the bombs.....errr... sorry I really don't wanna know on 2nd thought.

An overlong piece of bomb stock footage, large noteworthy tire tracks, and a "triumphant" narrator cut short at the last possible second...
That's an ending so beguilingly bad it fails on ALL counts.

Although, it never fails to crack me up!

No Crow. The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true!

This episode is so hilarious I actually cried, I laughed so hard.

I know they discuss it, but the anachronisms of this movie just... get to me. When you have a berserker (they use the interpretation Bare of sark or bare chested, when I tend to believe the ber sark or bear shirt) from the... 8th... 9th century carrying a pair of katanas from the 15th century and flying a glider of the 20th century to attack a 17fh century castle owned by Genghis' third cousin (13th century), I think anachronistic is an understatement. Add on the sunglasses, the tire tracks, and the modern city in the background just for fun and I really want to ask the producer and director what the hell they were smoking when they put this thing together.

"You know, that exercise works. You're right. I can feel it here. The muscles are stronger." He's muscular but is still grasping the connection between muscles and all the weight lifting he's been doing for years?

why are the "cave dwellers" in this movie for a total of 2 minutes?? why isn't it named ator vs. the puppet snake or similar?

V for Vendetta?

The sight of Dr. Forrester with his hat on backwards pleases me more than it has any reason to.

I'm such a dork. Every time I watch this episode, I get annoyed when Tom says, "Dad, as long as we're at the mall, can we stop at the Gap and get some 501s?" No! Gap makes its own brand of jeans. 501s are made by Levi-Strauss. So no, you can't get them at the Gap. Fashion detail nerd alert!

The overacting in this experiment is really exceptional

In the magical time of Before
Lived the sculpted Blade Master, Ator.
The boys wearing mudflaps
And ladies in hubcaps
Were saved because beefcake can soar.

I seem to recall reading that Miles O'Keefe is actually ashamed of this movie...

"Maybe it was too hot. That should be enough for now. We ought to wait until it's cold." That's right up there with, "I'm so sleepy I can't seem to keep awake."

I come back to this one so often. Love it. "Ooh, how graphic!"

QUID MALMBORG IN PLANO: I remembered this "Firesign Theater" reference and didn't know what it was about then. So....

A mysterious phrase which recurs in BOZOS. It was first exclaimed by the discoverer of FUDD'S LAW. No one (yet) seems to know its true origin, although it is said to have been written on a cigarette lighter that Phil PROCTOR used to have, and belonged to a person named Malmborg, who lived in Plano, Texas. This has since been confirmed by Peter BERGMAN. Another listener is convinced that he saw this pseudo-latin phrase inscribed in a drawing by Albrecht Duerer. The phrase seems to be a mixture of latin and middle-english: "Quid" may be translated from the latin root meaning "this/something/that", and "plano" simply means "flat/horizontal/smooth". The nearest translation of "malmborg" we are willing to conjecture is based on the Middle-English word "malm" which the OED tells us is a type of man-made chalky clay, which is often worked into "malm-bricks", so perhaps this phrase refers to the conversion of this(quid) clay into flat (plano) bricks, as consternation turns to lucidation. The mixture of ME and latin, together with the brick reference, may indicate a Freemason influence, but this is wild conjecture on the part of the editor. Many other theories abound. For example: malborg sounds suspiciously like 'malbolg' (malbolgia?). Malbolgia, as read-ers of Dante may remember, are the "bad pockets" of Hell, where the corrupt and treacherous souls simmer. Here one finds thieves, hypocrites, whores and panderers. Schismatics are ripped to pieces and reconstituted in an assembly-line manner, liars are steeped in a sea of shit. It is lower than that part of the Inferno where the sensual and brutal are found, and just above the lowest part, where Judas and a coterie of betrayers sit. Dante puts several nasty folks in Malbolgia, including a few popes. Nixon probably has (had) a reservation.

Were i working on the writing staff, I would have been soooooooooo tempted to add the following line in the scene just before the big snake fight.

What'shisname (the dork antagonist): Do you have something to say?
Ator: I have one thing to say...
Whoever can do the voice of the antagonist in Highlander: It's better to burn out... than to fade away!!!!

Thong's original name was Banana Hammock.

Between 49:00 and 50:00 did that mime soldier guy pantomime his own death? Cause I didn't see him get stabbed.

...and I thought Conan the Barbarian was stupid enough. I can't believe I sat though this "film!"

For the longest time, during the intro to the movie, I thought Forrester was saying "Enjoy it while, at last, Astro Boy Toy.." and always thought there was a jump edit there and he was supposed to say something else. It wasn't until recently that I finally noticed he says "Enjoy it WHILE it lasts..."

During the host segment at 22:00, can anyone else hear a woman talking in the background while the music is playing?

I think the best part of that host segment with the new and improved opening credits is when Joel swipes his swords and then takes off the top of Servo's head and tosses it over his shoulder.

Anal-retentive snakes lined up the skulls. And, it would appear, digested all of the other bones.

http://cdnvideo.dolimg.com/cdn_assets/dabda2f1b69a80123297e90244365cf49fc851d1.jpg

I cant catch my breath from the ripping. Non Stop dead on riffing that perfectly goes with this terrible movie! My personal fav. It gets funnier every time I watch it!

How to make chest-plate armor: Use a dinner plate.

heavy metal punching bag

I want a gif of 1:34:08 - 1:34:11.

I wonder if that black bar covering half the screen during the opening credits was so the actors didn't need to wear pants. Just think, if they had raised it a little higher they wouldn't have needed actors either.

The host segment a 22:00 is amazing.

Oh my, so what's with the atomic mushroom cloud at the end? Is there something I missed?

During a night of insomnia, I thought I'd try to original film, "Blade Master". Lesson learned: Some movies really NEED the riffs to make them bearable!!

Hey, wait! Dr. Forrester already called Joel "Boobie"!
Geez, those robots would die if they ever saw Linkara's show.

Once and for all, the Dr. F glasses question has been answered! On a Facebook group called MSTies Militia, it came up and someone asked Trace, who answered thusly: Apparently they looked all over for them and couldn't find them. Then when his spare lab coat came back from the cleaners, voila, the glasses had been in the pocket. So that's it, folks. They were at the cleaners.

Love how Pec Boy -unties- his girlfriend from the "spider web" during the flashback. Feh!

also, the 3rd girl being sacrificed has a scrunchie in her hair! :p

Thong! The fish is ready!

Mothers, Jugs and Speed.

Each time I see Ator take off on that hang glider out of now where- I don't know, it just makes everything in my life okay.

Thong's my hero.

So if Sonny Bono and Freddy Mercury had a kid, it would be the villain in this goober?

We'll take them back to their village and speak to their people...The Village People???

Much evil has fallen on our village...bummer...

According to IMDB these are the alternate titles to this "movie":
Cave Dwellers (USA (TV title)
The Blade Master (USA)
Ator the Invincible (USA (literal English title)
Ator l'invincibile 2 (Italy)
Ator - Der Unbesiegbare (West Germany)
Ator - krigaren (Sweden)
Ator 2: el invencible (Spain (imdb display title)
Ator II (Finland)
Ator, o aoratos mahitis (Greece (video title)
Ator, o aittitos (Greece (video title)
Ator no 2, i epistrofi tou anikitou aetou (Greece (transliterated ISO-LATIN-1 title)
Ator, o Conquistador (Portugal (imdb display title)
Ator, the Blade Master (undefined)
Day of the Sword Man (Pakistan (poster title) (English title)

Anyone else notice that Forrester's wearing different glasses here?

"I am grinding the Basil and adding the Romano cheese." That line and the way it was delivered, still gets me.

Ram chips - Bad things: giant growling snake puppet, ridiculous hats, incredibly potent shields, invisible villians, the hang glider and the scene where Ator is fighting the wall. Good things: giant growling snake puppet, ridiculous hats, incredibly potent shields, invisible villians, the hang glider and the scene where Ator is fighting the wall.

I've always loved any episode where the 'bots are dressed in their jammies. Tom in his tiny robe always cracks me up.

In honor of this film earning its hundredth laugh, I went and reread the Wikipedia page for Ator l'invincible 2. I think they exaggerate when they say "citation needed" for the comment, "Film did not do well in critical reviews." Actually, sitting through any random 90 seconds of this turkey should be all the "citation" any human needs...

I don't know what it is but something about ator just drives me nuts. Maybe it's the custom and the hair, but its like they took the actors best features and displayed them in such a way that makes me think he has had botched plastic surgery and bad implants. It's not hard to make an attractive person ugly but it's really hard to make an attractive person look like an ugly person trying to look attractive. Maybe I just feel into a hypnotic state from too much bobbing pecs..... They are like eyes...... They follow you

*Ridiculous* movie, great, great riffs, and that Mila chick is *hothothot!* Definitely one of my favorite episodes

Guys Tip: Employ Ator and Thong’s “invisible attackers” scam while in your front yard to impress neighborhood girls!

Hey, what happened to Dr. F's glasses?

Hey! What the goodness is up with Doc Forrester's glasses!!?!?! He's pulled a switcheroo on his frame choice! I prefer the green ones...

The kennedy reference by crow at the very beginning caught me way off guard. Wow that struck me as funny in my own stupid way!

This was one big chucklefest, this is great therapy after a day of mental dualing.

This and Pod People are probably my favorite, go-to eps. Long live MST3k!

He had time to kill the deer, tan the hides, make the hang glider, make the bombs and take on the city , and in only 10 mins! Ah the classic funny that is still funny lol

    HAMSTERS
DO NOT CRUSH

This movie is soo good at being bad, that it hurts just to laugh!!

So, this is a bad imitation of Conan, right? Different backstory for our main guy, of course.

Classic episode. The riffing is a cornucopia of pop culture, literature, and theology. Love it!

I love Tom's beat boxing during the movie credits!

Funny. Funny!! FUNNY!!!!