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312 - Gamera vs. Guiron



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221 laughs

Comments (94) Best Riffs (221)

Teri G - 6 months ago
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There is another dubbed version of this movie and it's a LOT better than the one they got. I was looking around to see if I could hear Cornjob's voice in the original Japanese, and I found another dubbed version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEZjCbkt1pA

It's much more natural. No weird pauses.


Bruce Ellsworth Reed - about 4 years ago
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I love how almost every sci-fi movie lets you hear things in space, with a few notable exception; 2001, Silent Running, the better TOS Star Trek episodes, Alien, 2010...ummm, others, maybe *g*


Stereo Catz - almost 4 years ago
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Who knew Mike could play piano?


I Am The Button - about 1 year ago
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Uploaded one from my DVDs, favorite of the Gamera episodes, watch it while it lasts!


NavySandman - about 1 year ago
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Has anyone else, noticed that many, of the adults seem to, be graduates of the Christopher, Walken- William Shatner Speaking School?


Keep circulating the tapes
David Bowiescock - about 1 year ago
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https://vid.me/m6Mo/mst3k-312-gamera-vs-guiron So Shout Factory lost their license for the Season 3 Gamera flicks. None of the legit links appear to work. Here's one from the iffy side of the web, audio isn't synched very well but at least it exist.


Zombies from outer space
Donald Petkus - over 1 year ago
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Does the brain eating business mean the flight attendants are izombies?


Tom?
NS - over 3 years ago
9 laughs

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How do you know what a urinal cake tastes like?


Jane Sproul - over 2 years ago
4 laughs

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Okay, totally sarcasm-free here: I think it's really sweet that Tommy gave Akio his cap.


Valerie Yanes - over 1 year ago
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"When the whip comes down, you will see who rules, you twisted old fruit!" ~ Tomoko 89:11


A Lush Cocktail Rescue - over 1 year ago
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Say what you will, but Mike in a tux, with black hair, sitting at a grand kinda pushes my buttons, even if he is doing a Feinstein impersonation.


Kimono Dragon - over 1 year ago
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1:07:10 - What is up with the perv sniffing the little girl? Seriously, was anyone else disturbed by that?!? I accept that I don't know Japanese culture, but where are the Dateline hidden cameras when you need them?


Wendy Jones - almost 2 years ago
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It's a PLANET!


Wendy Jones - over 1 year ago
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There is no Gamera only Zool


Wendy Jones - over 1 year ago
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We all shave with the yellow clipper thing... the yellow clipper thing... the yellow clipper thing


James Wolfe - over 1 year ago
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By far the best theme music played by the satellite of love band.


Michael Feinstein Nelson
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What a compelling pianist! That's clearly his first instrument....


Sparkie Shock - almost 3 years ago
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Holy fuck .. the dubbing in this film is just ... wowwww! SO BAD!!!! I can only HOPE that the actual Japanese dialogue isn't this fucking stupid. Just WoW!!

This film actually causes blisters, boils and uncontrollable flatulence; has been linked to disorders of the nervous system and bowels.


Wendy Jones - almost 2 years ago
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Another name for Mike at the endof the movie might be Van del Handelsson


Wendy Jones - almost 2 years ago
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You know, it occured to me, when they turned on the translator, to wonder whether their names were French in the Japanese version. I know in space they speak French, but maybe their names were Russian. Hm.


chris kaprys - about 2 years ago
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that riff near the beginning - "No, that's hard to say" Seems like it's pretty hard to dub, too - has to be one of the all-time classic riffs and one of the best simple examples of this show's timeless delight.


Bees On Pie - almost 2 years ago
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So it's no secret that I'm just a wee bit of a lusty Mike fangirl, but seeing him playing the piano and singing the Gamera song just made me lose it. Stop being so amazing, Mike, I CAN'T HANDLE IT.


Wendy Jones - almost 2 years ago
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just stick this fish in your ear


Wendy Jones - almost 2 years ago
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Mmm... chocolate-covered urinal cake


Wendy Jones - almost 2 years ago
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We're from the padding department, where's the plot hole?


Wendy Jones - almost 2 years ago
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Mmm, that's good lard


Snuffy Wuffykiss - about 2 years ago
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Now I am hungry for turtle meat. Mmmm... Sweet delicious slow roasted Gamera.


Elisa Farrington - over 4 years ago
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Anybody else grow up loving Gamera? Did I alone feel a tear well up as Gamera rescued the boys from the meteor shower? Is there no one else whose cynical riff loving mentality melted away when the Gamera song started? Not one?


Last of the Wild Ponies - about 2 years ago
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5:50 Did anyone else hear a voice in the background repeating "Dr. Shikza?" a few seconds after Joel said it?


Sparkie Shock - about 2 years ago
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Well, I think it's clear that this film was the product of a junior school challenge to write a script for a film. And basically a bunch of 8-10 year olds competed like crazy .. Shame and Suicides were high but in the end a movie script was created by some 30 students, polished by Coleman Francis and submitted to a movie studio who then said "Meh!, what's the worst that can happen?"
Even without the dubbing I imagine this film is pretty fucking brainless. I know it's aimed at kids and such but damn! It doesn't have to suck such large donkey balls .. Yet it does, and with considerable talent and practise!!
I just love the way Gamera just happens to show up .. Like "oh hey, here's Gamera". Seems the movie makers realized after filming a bunch of stuff that they'd forgotten to add the principle character.
So here's to the room full of chimps that wrote this load of bollocks! We salute you .. And then flush your head down a toilet!


Joey Thomas Mackie - over 2 years ago
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"CORN JOB"


Shape Shafter - over 2 years ago
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I started doing the Team America theme song as "GAMERA! Fuck Yeah!" And now I cant get it outta my head


John Smith - over 3 years ago
5 laughs

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Just to explain the obscure joke near the end. "Stop her, she's got my keyboard!" That's a reference to Mike. He had an ex-girlfriend who took his keyboard and never gave it back. How the people watching at home were supposed to get this is beyond me and I only know because of Google. So nice watching this show in 2014. It must have been frustrating to not get a reference and have no way to look it up instantly.


Robert Brown - almost 3 years ago
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On my recent viewing, it occurred to me that the reason "Brother" is so concerned with traffic accidents is that the kids' absent father perished in one. If so, it's a nifty (though poignant) bit of screenwriting.

Of course, it could also just be a residue of the sandyfrankization process.


Misterkingdom - almost 3 years ago
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That little girl looks like Ben Chang from Community.


Ronnie Patrick E - about 3 years ago
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Why were the Japanese so obsessed with traffic accidents? ROTFLMAO


Jessica Benjamin - about 3 years ago
2 laughs

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I want an mst3k lunch box!


Jessica Benjamin - about 3 years ago
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I'd suggest watching this on netflix for those who have it


Elisa Farrington - over 4 years ago
3 laughs

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There used to be a comment on here about the star blades that Guiron shot at Gamera. Is Gamera or is he not holding one or two in his hands when he falls in the water the first time or did Guiron retrieved them all?


Sarahbean - over 3 years ago
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Once, about 2 years ago my Dad turned on the t.v. and "Gamera vs. Guiron" happend to be on at just the right moment and I could not for the love of God stop myself from singing my favorite MST3K song/riff:
♫ See the kids head to their fates,
They'll disappear into the woods,
It will be days before they're found,
Corn-job will be blamed. ♫
I got a startled look from my Dad & a comment of "that's dark!"


Matt Towler - over 3 years ago
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First mention of the full name Crow T Robot in the Richard Burton sketch, perhaps?


Teri Gee - over 3 years ago
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I think Sandy Frank is pretty miserable as a director/producer, but compared to whoever did the dubbing for this Gamera film, he looks like a genius! The dubbing is AWFUL! ...which makes the riffing better, of course. :)


Mother! Mother!
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Dr. F (to Joel): "Inchworm," "Sugar-Britches."
The Mads' invention exchange this time out is true genius.


MST movies in sync
Leslie Doesn't Get You - over 3 years ago
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In this film, the boys fly to the planet Terra, where alien babes explain to them that the planet is exactly opposite the Earth, so out of our view behind the sun. In Stranded in Space, Neil crash lands on a planet called Terra that Earth can't see because it's exactly on the other side of the sun. Interesting coincidence!


Joseph Ewing - over 3 years ago
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48:54-53:31 Those five minutes have to be one of the greatest five minutes the show ever had in its entire run


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It's been a while since I've watched this one. I forgot just how bad the dub is. (I usually keep it on in the background when I'm doing something else so the audio is the focus.) The line reading could not have been. More unnatural. Or distracting.


Crypto Dentist - almost 4 years ago
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Geez, Gamera and all the stupid humans fight Gaos for an entire movie and Guiron kills him in all of two minutes.


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- Whoever cut the host segs out of this has committed blasphemy of the highest order. Just sayin'.
- Anybody know what's up with Crow's mouth moving all the time when he doesn't say anything? Is this Crow\Trace doing a nonverbal riff on the lousy dub, or something else?
- Lmao @ Crow's arms falling off. My fave is how they just keep on' riffin. Tragic missed opportunity for a Monty Python gag though. "A flesh wound!"


Leslie Doesn't Get You - over 3 years ago
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Two boys watch two monsters fight. One monster wins. One boy says, "What a monster." Very perceptive, kid.


Dood - almost 4 years ago
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This movie is perfectly summed up by these four lines of dialogue, delivered by the same character, in succession:

"Let's break the handles so they won't be able to come back again. Hooray, now they can't come back again! Doesn't it feel good, to know they can never come back again? How did you get back, since we broke the handles?"


Frankie DeMario - almost 6 years ago
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@20:20 Crow loses an arm XD


2 laughs

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Nice harmony by Joel at the end of the first host segment.


Gamera v Guiron
Stu Slaymaker - almost 4 years ago
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I agree. As to whoever is cutting out the host segments: "This is Gamera! Knock it off!!!"


Zap R. - over 5 years ago
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I just realized, if they hadn't re-done this one,there wouldn't be a single "corn job"joke.


David Busch - about 4 years ago
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Don't kinow who keeps deleting the skits before they upload these to the site but PLEASE STOP! The skits are part of what makes the show funny


Robert Brown - almost 4 years ago
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I'm sure I'm not the first to mention this, but I feel compelled to note that this is a wigged out movie. I think li'l Dick Burton wrote it. Haggedahaggeddahagedda.


Jaguar Wong Abides - almost 4 years ago
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For some reason bad dubbing is even more hilarious when they are using it on an English speaking person...if you know what i mean?!?


Stereo Catz - almost 4 years ago
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Gamera vs. Ginsu!


Stereo Catz - almost 4 years ago
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Wow, watching… bad dubbing… on a video… that’s already… out of synch… is a weird… experience.


Matthew Eickhoff - over 5 years ago
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The Gamera song is the best, but surprisingly hard to get out of your head!


Edgar Valentin - over 4 years ago
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Here Is a Youtube full episode link to MST3K -312 - Gamera vs Guiron:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UyRh2nPNY4


Elisa Farrington - over 4 years ago
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Pretty cool how the kid actually gets his head shaved. Adds emphasis to his Peter Graves type speech at the end.


Joseph Ewing - over 4 years ago
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Sometimes, their running gags are really stretching for it. That kid looks as much like Richard Burton as the Asian boy looks like Cary Grant.


Desiree Ashcraft - about 5 years ago
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Seeing Gamera hurt made me hurt..... :*(


10 laughs

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I've seen... ...movies that were dubbed... ...well, and... ...I've seen... ...movies that were dubbed badly... ...and Gamera Vs Guiron has got to... ...be one of the... ...worst-dubbed Japanese... ...movies I've... ...ever seen, and... ...that's why it's... ...awesome.


Cindy - over 4 years ago
3 laughs

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Who keeps editing out the host sections before uploading them? This jumps in right after the first "Movie Sign".


David Busch - over 4 years ago
4 laughs

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That settles it...I'm going to invent a turtle soup recipe and call it "Gamera surprise!"


Matt Towler - about 5 years ago
6 laughs

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Love Crow's Richard Burton impressions.


Rebecca Richards - about 5 years ago
6 laughs

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While all of the Gaemra episodes are a laugh riot, this was by far the best one in the pack.


Bruce Box-Liker - about 5 years ago
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The Gamera movies are, as a whole, bad, but this has got to be the worst of the lot. We can all agree on that, right?


Graeme Cree - over 4 years ago
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This one is by far the best of the Gamera movies. Between the football head alien space babes with southern drawls, to the Swiss Army Head villain, to just giving up on the grownups completely, and doing a Gamera movie that focused on the kids, and giving up any pretense of it being an adult movie, to the "Hirohito Gamera" song, everything about this one works.


jayjay cajun - over 4 years ago
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67:50: Shades of Westley (Cary Elwes) Princess Bride gymnastics bit during the Princess Bride sword fight with Inigo. Who knew it was Gamera inspired?


Mike Carmona - over 4 years ago
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Whenever my girlfriend does something bad, I remind her of Crow's disciplinary whisper at 08:35. It's a good laugh for both of us.


Kiri T. Unicorn - over 4 years ago
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BTW, the REAL Japanese lyrics can be found here:

http://www.mst3kinfo.com/?p=10454


David Busch - over 4 years ago
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The "Like a good neighbor, Gamera is there" quip is personally funny because my brother works at State Farm. :-)


David Busch - over 4 years ago
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Hello and thank you!


Anthony DiCrecchio - over 4 years ago
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Oh god, the dubbing. THE DUBBING.


The Lightning Bug - over 4 years ago
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youtube link was down, the account was closed.


TV's Jen - over 4 years ago
3 laughs

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Wow...there are currently 19 people watching this episode right now. Plus me. The twentieth wheel....
(That sounded cooler in my head.)


Austin Strong - about 5 years ago
4 laughs

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Unfortunately, the youtube video that was here has been taken down. :( The best I could do was this version without any of the skits (a bummer, I know). Keep hunting for a complete version, MSTies!


William Lorentz - over 4 years ago
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Here's to Cornjob!


6 laughs

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Y'know, a world without work or war would be a dime a dozen, but a world without work, or war, or traffic accidents -- man, that'd be something. That'd be totally ace, man.


Aaron Kuehmichel - almost 5 years ago
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Mike's lounge act at the end alone makes this episode a stone cold classic.


trumpy - over 5 years ago
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Not for the proud man
Apart from the raging moon I write
Gamera! Gamera!
What dark despised dreams dwell
In the sullen weighty bones 'neath your impenetrable shell.


Kelly Slane - about 5 years ago
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Thank you Tom. ITS A PLANET!!!!


Wade Ebel - almost 5 years ago
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"I'm Tom, spank me!"

Naughty bot.


Sabrina Domingues - almost 5 years ago
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♫ Gamera is really sweet. He is filled with turtle meat. We all love you Ga-me-ra! ♫


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Joel slapped the desk at movie sign in the first host segment....guess he's pulling a season 1 on us there.


Matt Towler - about 5 years ago
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"Servo, you don't have a mother." "WHAT!?!"


Robert Ferguson - about 5 years ago
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CornJob.... is some dungeon masters wife.


Phil Carstens - over 5 years ago
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I love the bit with Mike at the end. Mostly because I really hate Michael Feinstein.

"Ahh...Kill him."


Zap R. - over 5 years ago
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I'm so glad to see these Gammera episodes back. Since I watched the KTMA episode,I have gained a new respect for mikes writing. the first time around the riffing sucks, what little there is. The season3 versions have a lot more edited out which sucks,but way more laughs.


natoonea - over 5 years ago
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The skit at 1:07:50 is priceless. Oh, man...


natoonea - over 5 years ago
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mike's finest hour is at the end of this episode...