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Hello.

For some reason I think Tom and the little girl (what's her name? Akio's sister?) are such incredibly adorable kids. ...Akio, ...not so much.

I've seen this episode dozens of times. It is still my #1 FAVORITE of ALL TIME!!!
But EVERY TIME I watch this, I am so distracted by the little character on Tom's hat. I mean what is it!?!?! A little ghost? Or...?I
And just now, I am watching it again and I looked at it a little differently and I figured it out!!! It's not a character at all. I'm pretty sure it's an "L" with a white swoosh going through it and a little star. It's hard to tell because they are the same color with no outline to show distinction.
Maybe you're like "ya, so what" but for me this is BIG....
. . I... . I've been wondering for years now.... And.. Oh wow..... I actually feel kinda empty inside now. ...Kinda like the day after Christmas when you're a little kid and there's just a big mess of wrapping paper to throw away... And you just.... You know you're at the furthest possible point from the next Christmas and.... ....I mean, I just feel kinda lost now.... I could use a hug.... ...or I guess there's always booze.... I've been meaning to take up drinking.... There we go. Problem solved!!!

Judging by their accents the two actresses playing the space cannibals are from southern Japan.

This one is by far the best of the Gamera movies. Between the football head alien space babes with southern drawls, to the Swiss Army Head villain, to just giving up on the grownups completely, and doing a Gamera movie that focused on the kids, and giving up any pretense of it being an adult movie, to the "Hirohito Gamera" song, everything about this one works.

The kids keep calling the planets "stars". The reason for that is they translated it from Japanese too literally. In japanese they use the same word for planet and star. (This is what I have read anyway. I didn't check it out thoroughly but it does seem to make sense)

Whoever Mike is impersonating at the end, he is SO on point. And his playing/singing...😍😍😍

The dart gun scene at about 13:00 really confuses me. The white boy aims at the hanky in Corn Job's hip pocket from a moving bicycle. The dart then carries the hanky several feet and in an upward trajectory and sticks to the wall above Corn Job's eye level. Even though the hanky appears to be completely surrounding the dart (if not, how could it have carried it?) the suction cup is somehow sticking to the way through the material. That is some darned fine shooting and one magical dart. Then later in the movie the kid can't hit a big switch a few feet from the cage.

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

"CORN JOB"

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i love joel slapping the table for movie sign when the buttons arent even there

but do we complain? no. NO!
Crow: YES!

keep it real, Art. xD

I thought you weren't supposed to pat people on the head in Japanese culture

The Richard Burton sketch is priceless! "I'm Welsh and I'm poor and I'm not Richard Burton yet". I'm still cracking up.

And somewhere out there, the guys who made "Stranded in Space" are taking notes!

i found a link to this film in japanese with english subs, so i linked it in the original movies section. its a youtube link too. i was just curious to see how good that non japanese kids japanese was. lol.

I've got it. I figured out Akio's obsession. Akio's father is absent from the film because he died in a traffic accident... after having to work and go to war, of course.

Okay... At no time in any movie or TV show in the history of entertainment (I would imagine it goes all the way back to the old Globe Theatre in Shakespearean times, as well) has it worked to yell, "Let me out!" or "Let us out of here!" when being imprisoned by kidnappers, aliens, etc. Do they think their captors will stop and think for a minute and go, "You know, you're right. Come on out of there. I'm sorry." Do you think those demands have EVER been made in a real-life situation? And if so, have they ever been effective? And have I seriously spent way too much time thinking about this?

So for those of you that were wondering, Japanese often uses the word for "star" ( 星 "hoshi") to mean "planet."

Wait a sec. Pause at 1:08, when they have the still frame of Tom to compare him to a celebrity he vaguely resembles. On screen time code: 01:14:13:00dF__K
Just what are you doing with those letters at the end?

I think this is the first time I noticed Gypsy freshening her lipstick. I love little stuff like that.

If you watch the "Original Movie" link posted above, the dubbing (and the dubbed voices,) are sooo much better! In fact, the story actually makes more sense!

How does Servo know what a chocolate covered urinal cake tastes like?

I love how almost every sci-fi movie lets you hear things in space, with a few notable exception; 2001, Silent Running, the better TOS Star Trek episodes, Alien, 2010...ummm, others, maybe *g*

I love the bit with Mike at the end. Mostly because I really hate Michael Feinstein.

"Ahh...Kill him."

The hosts' "lyrics" for the kids' diddy (starting at around 14:44) is HILARIOUS.

Featuring the best voice-over actors that the Spooner, Wisconsin Library employees could round up with having a 2 hour notice.

That whole "Thank you!" / "Hello!" segment is hilarious. And then the 50-year-old little girl finishes it off beautifully.

WHAT IS THIS MOVIE?!!?! XD

The cop's name is...Corn Job? WTH!?
How do you think earned that name, what did he do, with the corn cob? Sounds perverted?

Sooo, the Watch Dog's name is ...Urine?
I think I liked Mac the Knife much better, I don't know, maybe Ginsu Face?

I'm forever hearing Cajun Conja as "Cajun Cornjob" whenever I play the song. Probably will until I finally pass away. :o Fandom is hell.

Oh god, the dubbing. THE DUBBING.

BTW, the REAL Japanese lyrics can be found here:

http://www.mst3kinfo.com/?p=10454

Think that kids obsession with traffic accidents is due to taking LSD ,and Johnny Longbones stew , and watching "X-Marks the Spot" for 5 hours with no breaks

those noises the alien women make when they're injured sound sexual.

On my recent viewing, it occurred to me that the reason "Brother" is so concerned with traffic accidents is that the kids' absent father perished in one. If so, it's a nifty (though poignant) bit of screenwriting.

Of course, it could also just be a residue of the sandyfrankization process.

There is another dubbed version of this movie and it's a LOT better than the one they got. I was looking around to see if I could hear Cornjob's voice in the original Japanese, and I found another dubbed version: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GEZjCbkt1pA

It's much more natural. No weird pauses.

Who knew Mike could play piano?

Uploaded one from my DVDs, favorite of the Gamera episodes, watch it while it lasts!

Has anyone else, noticed that many, of the adults seem to, be graduates of the Christopher, Walken- William Shatner Speaking School?

https://vid.me/m6Mo/mst3k-312-gamera-vs-guiron So Shout Factory lost their license for the Season 3 Gamera flicks. None of the legit links appear to work. Here's one from the iffy side of the web, audio isn't synched very well but at least it exist.

Does the brain eating business mean the flight attendants are izombies?

How do you know what a urinal cake tastes like?

Okay, totally sarcasm-free here: I think it's really sweet that Tommy gave Akio his cap.

"When the whip comes down, you will see who rules, you twisted old fruit!" ~ Tomoko 89:11

Say what you will, but Mike in a tux, with black hair, sitting at a grand kinda pushes my buttons, even if he is doing a Feinstein impersonation.

1:07:10 - What is up with the perv sniffing the little girl? Seriously, was anyone else disturbed by that?!? I accept that I don't know Japanese culture, but where are the Dateline hidden cameras when you need them?

It's a PLANET!

There is no Gamera only Zool

We all shave with the yellow clipper thing... the yellow clipper thing... the yellow clipper thing

By far the best theme music played by the satellite of love band.

What a compelling pianist! That's clearly his first instrument....

Holy fuck .. the dubbing in this film is just ... wowwww! SO BAD!!!! I can only HOPE that the actual Japanese dialogue isn't this fucking stupid. Just WoW!!

This film actually causes blisters, boils and uncontrollable flatulence; has been linked to disorders of the nervous system and bowels.

Another name for Mike at the endof the movie might be Van del Handelsson

You know, it occured to me, when they turned on the translator, to wonder whether their names were French in the Japanese version. I know in space they speak French, but maybe their names were Russian. Hm.

that riff near the beginning - "No, that's hard to say" Seems like it's pretty hard to dub, too - has to be one of the all-time classic riffs and one of the best simple examples of this show's timeless delight.

So it's no secret that I'm just a wee bit of a lusty Mike fangirl, but seeing him playing the piano and singing the Gamera song just made me lose it. Stop being so amazing, Mike, I CAN'T HANDLE IT.

just stick this fish in your ear

Mmm... chocolate-covered urinal cake

We're from the padding department, where's the plot hole?

Mmm, that's good lard

Now I am hungry for turtle meat. Mmmm... Sweet delicious slow roasted Gamera.

Anybody else grow up loving Gamera? Did I alone feel a tear well up as Gamera rescued the boys from the meteor shower? Is there no one else whose cynical riff loving mentality melted away when the Gamera song started? Not one?

5:50 Did anyone else hear a voice in the background repeating "Dr. Shikza?" a few seconds after Joel said it?

Well, I think it's clear that this film was the product of a junior school challenge to write a script for a film. And basically a bunch of 8-10 year olds competed like crazy .. Shame and Suicides were high but in the end a movie script was created by some 30 students, polished by Coleman Francis and submitted to a movie studio who then said "Meh!, what's the worst that can happen?"
Even without the dubbing I imagine this film is pretty fucking brainless. I know it's aimed at kids and such but damn! It doesn't have to suck such large donkey balls .. Yet it does, and with considerable talent and practise!!
I just love the way Gamera just happens to show up .. Like "oh hey, here's Gamera". Seems the movie makers realized after filming a bunch of stuff that they'd forgotten to add the principle character.
So here's to the room full of chimps that wrote this load of bollocks! We salute you .. And then flush your head down a toilet!

I started doing the Team America theme song as "GAMERA! Fuck Yeah!" And now I cant get it outta my head

Just to explain the obscure joke near the end. "Stop her, she's got my keyboard!" That's a reference to Mike. He had an ex-girlfriend who took his keyboard and never gave it back. How the people watching at home were supposed to get this is beyond me and I only know because of Google. So nice watching this show in 2014. It must have been frustrating to not get a reference and have no way to look it up instantly.

That little girl looks like Ben Chang from Community.

Why were the Japanese so obsessed with traffic accidents? ROTFLMAO

I want an mst3k lunch box!

I'd suggest watching this on netflix for those who have it

There used to be a comment on here about the star blades that Guiron shot at Gamera. Is Gamera or is he not holding one or two in his hands when he falls in the water the first time or did Guiron retrieved them all?

Once, about 2 years ago my Dad turned on the t.v. and "Gamera vs. Guiron" happend to be on at just the right moment and I could not for the love of God stop myself from singing my favorite MST3K song/riff:
♫ See the kids head to their fates,
They'll disappear into the woods,
It will be days before they're found,
Corn-job will be blamed. ♫
I got a startled look from my Dad & a comment of "that's dark!"

First mention of the full name Crow T Robot in the Richard Burton sketch, perhaps?

I think Sandy Frank is pretty miserable as a director/producer, but compared to whoever did the dubbing for this Gamera film, he looks like a genius! The dubbing is AWFUL! ...which makes the riffing better, of course. :)

Dr. F (to Joel): "Inchworm," "Sugar-Britches."
The Mads' invention exchange this time out is true genius.

In this film, the boys fly to the planet Terra, where alien babes explain to them that the planet is exactly opposite the Earth, so out of our view behind the sun. In Stranded in Space, Neil crash lands on a planet called Terra that Earth can't see because it's exactly on the other side of the sun. Interesting coincidence!

48:54-53:31 Those five minutes have to be one of the greatest five minutes the show ever had in its entire run

It's been a while since I've watched this one. I forgot just how bad the dub is. (I usually keep it on in the background when I'm doing something else so the audio is the focus.) The line reading could not have been. More unnatural. Or distracting.

Geez, Gamera and all the stupid humans fight Gaos for an entire movie and Guiron kills him in all of two minutes.

- Whoever cut the host segs out of this has committed blasphemy of the highest order. Just sayin'.
- Anybody know what's up with Crow's mouth moving all the time when he doesn't say anything? Is this Crow\Trace doing a nonverbal riff on the lousy dub, or something else?
- Lmao @ Crow's arms falling off. My fave is how they just keep on' riffin. Tragic missed opportunity for a Monty Python gag though. "A flesh wound!"

Two boys watch two monsters fight. One monster wins. One boy says, "What a monster." Very perceptive, kid.

This movie is perfectly summed up by these four lines of dialogue, delivered by the same character, in succession:

"Let's break the handles so they won't be able to come back again. Hooray, now they can't come back again! Doesn't it feel good, to know they can never come back again? How did you get back, since we broke the handles?"

@20:20 Crow loses an arm XD

Nice harmony by Joel at the end of the first host segment.

I agree. As to whoever is cutting out the host segments: "This is Gamera! Knock it off!!!"

I just realized, if they hadn't re-done this one,there wouldn't be a single "corn job"joke.

Don't kinow who keeps deleting the skits before they upload these to the site but PLEASE STOP! The skits are part of what makes the show funny

I'm sure I'm not the first to mention this, but I feel compelled to note that this is a wigged out movie. I think li'l Dick Burton wrote it. Haggedahaggeddahagedda.

For some reason bad dubbing is even more hilarious when they are using it on an English speaking person...if you know what i mean?!?

Gamera vs. Ginsu!

Wow, watching… bad dubbing… on a video… that’s already… out of synch… is a weird… experience.

The Gamera song is the best, but surprisingly hard to get out of your head!

Here Is a Youtube full episode link to MST3K -312 - Gamera vs Guiron:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_UyRh2nPNY4

Pretty cool how the kid actually gets his head shaved. Adds emphasis to his Peter Graves type speech at the end.

Sometimes, their running gags are really stretching for it. That kid looks as much like Richard Burton as the Asian boy looks like Cary Grant.

Seeing Gamera hurt made me hurt..... :*(

I've seen... ...movies that were dubbed... ...well, and... ...I've seen... ...movies that were dubbed badly... ...and Gamera Vs Guiron has got to... ...be one of the... ...worst-dubbed Japanese... ...movies I've... ...ever seen, and... ...that's why it's... ...awesome.

Who keeps editing out the host sections before uploading them? This jumps in right after the first "Movie Sign".

That settles it...I'm going to invent a turtle soup recipe and call it "Gamera surprise!"

Love Crow's Richard Burton impressions.

While all of the Gaemra episodes are a laugh riot, this was by far the best one in the pack.

The Gamera movies are, as a whole, bad, but this has got to be the worst of the lot. We can all agree on that, right?

67:50: Shades of Westley (Cary Elwes) Princess Bride gymnastics bit during the Princess Bride sword fight with Inigo. Who knew it was Gamera inspired?

Whenever my girlfriend does something bad, I remind her of Crow's disciplinary whisper at 08:35. It's a good laugh for both of us.

The "Like a good neighbor, Gamera is there" quip is personally funny because my brother works at State Farm. :-)

Hello and thank you!

youtube link was down, the account was closed.

Wow...there are currently 19 people watching this episode right now. Plus me. The twentieth wheel....
(That sounded cooler in my head.)

Unfortunately, the youtube video that was here has been taken down. :( The best I could do was this version without any of the skits (a bummer, I know). Keep hunting for a complete version, MSTies!

Here's to Cornjob!

Y'know, a world without work or war would be a dime a dozen, but a world without work, or war, or traffic accidents -- man, that'd be something. That'd be totally ace, man.

Mike's lounge act at the end alone makes this episode a stone cold classic.

Not for the proud man
Apart from the raging moon I write
Gamera! Gamera!
What dark despised dreams dwell
In the sullen weighty bones 'neath your impenetrable shell.

Thank you Tom. ITS A PLANET!!!!

"I'm Tom, spank me!"

Naughty bot.

♫ Gamera is really sweet. He is filled with turtle meat. We all love you Ga-me-ra! ♫

Joel slapped the desk at movie sign in the first host segment....guess he's pulling a season 1 on us there.

"Servo, you don't have a mother." "WHAT!?!"

CornJob.... is some dungeon masters wife.

I'm so glad to see these Gammera episodes back. Since I watched the KTMA episode,I have gained a new respect for mikes writing. the first time around the riffing sucks, what little there is. The season3 versions have a lot more edited out which sucks,but way more laughs.

The skit at 1:07:50 is priceless. Oh, man...

mike's finest hour is at the end of this episode...