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321 - Santa Claus Conquers the Martians



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264 laughs

Comments (114) Best Riffs (221)

Sage Harpuia - over 5 years ago
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I love how Tom's head is a snow globe.


Teri Gee - about 2 months ago
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I added links to the episode, but it's in two parts and it's on dailymotion which isn't streamed here. So you'll have to copy and paste the link into your browser. I checked them both, though, and they work. Until a full video is available, this will do.


Copyright Strike
jaynighte - 3 months ago
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Shout! Factory took it down.


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booooooo it's not working


Allen Taylor - 8 months ago
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kids see poler bear and say Pumma ?Pumma? ))


Allen Taylor - 8 months ago
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Tor knocks door and says time for go to bed. tor johnson style lol


bob - almost 6 years ago
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It's fine in the USA


SrWJVoUNJ - 9 months ago
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PAIN.....PAIN.....PAAAAIIIIN!!! SOOOO MUCH PAIN!!!!!! The Mads showed no mercy!! They could have conquered the Earth with this one!


Krankor - 10 months ago
3 laughs

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Merry Christmas Earthlings ! Hneh ! Hneh ! Hneh !


Meghan Calico Hendrickson - 10 months ago
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"Oh, Balderdash and fiddley-dee." Language Santa!


Veklorr Vigorr - about 1 year ago
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Oh man, one of my favorite episodes. The movie is so beautifully bad, and the riffing is on point. So good.


Michael Cole - about 1 year ago
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For action Christmas movies go see; Lethal Weapon 1, Die Hard 1 and 2, Gremlins, A Nightmare before Christmas and Rocky 4. If you want unrelated to Christmas but somehow its Christmas; Home alone 1 and 2, Out Cold, and Santa Claws (the horror movie).


Jordan Carpenter - almost 2 years ago
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You know, real talk: The actor who plays Kimar is able to wrest himself a decent amount of dignity, despite everything. Even surrounded by all the nonsense, I totally believe that he is a stalwart leader who wants best for the children of Mars. I mean it! The guy deserves credit.


Matthew Boyle - about 2 years ago
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Why is this called Santa Claus conquers the martians?


Anthony DiCrecchio - over 1 year ago
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Thanks to our good buddy Crow, I may need to start watching Roadhouse as part of my holiday itinerary.


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I do love Frank's wrapping paper, featuring silhouettes of Joel and the bots. I wish they actually sold that.


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Whoa, the ending of this episode is dark. We go through the whole thing with a goofy kids' movie and the SoL crew full of Christmas cheer, and we end with Dr. F. giving Frank a book, which he says was purchased by selling Frank's blood. The book? Final Exit, an instruction manual for the terminally ill on how to commit suicide.


Stereo Catz - almost 4 years ago
10 laughs

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Mars is supposed to be this bleak, draconian place, yet they have ice-cream and tickle-rays.


Kelly Slane - about 2 years ago
5 laughs

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OK, so GIRmar is the GIRL martian, BOmar is BOY martian, and we have MOmar for the MOM martian. And yet father is KImar? Where did that come from? I know the rest of the martians have ridiculous names, but the family had a pattern going.


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There's no way they could be following us! We're invisible! And there's no possible way they could know where we Martians are headed.


Iris - about 4 years ago
6 laughs

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I can't help but feel embarrassed for the poor actors playing the Martians. You've got to be pretty desperate for work to wear those costumes.


deadfight - over 2 years ago
1 laugh

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This was the last episode I hadn't seen. I just Plain forgot I hadn't seen it, and now that I can't see another episode for the first time I am overcome with sadness.

I wish I had selective amnesia for mst3k.


gates69 - almost 2 years ago
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First episode I ever recorded back in the day. Still one of the funniest shows on tv.


John Smith - over 3 years ago
6 laughs

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Totally plausible that a 9 year old boy would know how to sabotage extra terrestrial electronic equipment.


Vince Giangiacomo - about 4 years ago
6 laughs

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A judge on Thursday 9/12/13 ordered singer-actress Pia Zadora to complete alcohol and impulse control counseling.


Kiri T. Unicorn - almost 4 years ago
4 laughs

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Gypsy: "I want a pony." ---X D~


Robert Brown - almost 3 years ago
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If there is a perfect example of Rifftrax' tagline "some movies have it coming" then it has to be SCCtM. I loathe this crass, cynical, pandering midden heap of pedantic demogoguery in a way I do not despise any other movie given the treatment on MST. It has been years since I watched it last because it causes me pain. As trenchant as they are, they could have--and should have--set to with even more savage commentary. It's a highlight despite my squeamishness. I'm glad I watched it again. Now I have to listen to Lou Reed's Metal Machine Music to scrub my mind clean as a whistle.

This ep also features one of the best letters they ever read on the air. It is clever and witty, and very much in the spirit of the show.


Micah Philson - over 2 years ago
6 laughs

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Is it just me or does Dropo seem to be trying WAY too hard to do Don Knotts?


Jane Sproul - almost 3 years ago
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Can I just say that I actually like their escape from the airlock? Damn straight Santa can get through any vent or chimney, however small.


Brian Heath - about 3 years ago
3 laughs

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I laughed so hard I literally shot Faygo Red Pop out my nose!


What my school did to me one Christmas
Diane - aka Starbreeze - almost 3 years ago
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I just wanted to tell you guys my traumatic history with this movie. When I was a child, like elementary school, they told us there would be a special Christmas movie in the auditorium after school. Basically they charged us a quarter to watch this very movie and ten cent for popcorn! I think the kids watched it for maybe ten to fifteen minutes before every kid in the place was talking to their friends instead of watching the movie. At the time I thought the movie would NEVER end. That was the first time I ever saw this one. The scars of that memory has stuck with me all these years.
Then maybe 8 to ten years ago our local cable company played it for 24 hours in a row and my youngest son immediately fell in love with how ridiculous and terrible the whole thing was and asked for it for Christmas.
For quite a while I always thought one of these martians was Jamie Far. I guess I was mistaken. Although the silly martian looks a little like him.
I just wanted to say thought that MST3K has helped me over the traumas of a small child and makes it a so much more watchable!
Merry Christmas Guys!


5 laughs

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Last year on Christmas Eve, there were 80 people watching this ep. This year, it's 168. This fills me with wonderful, glorious hope for the future of mankind.


Kelly Slane - over 4 years ago
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You know, in the opening segment they cost the "furry little surrey" at $5,900 from Neiman Marcus, and for a long time I laughed at the exaggeration... Until I stepped into a Neiman Marcus and saw their prices...


David Longworth - almost 4 years ago
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This and a wish for wings that work (the only bloom county short) are my FAVORITE Christmas movies!! How is "Patrick Swayze Christmas"not a standard??


Andrew Wyeth's Pink Boy - almost 3 years ago
3 laughs

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So we detect their spacecraft over radar, contact the Russians to question their involvement, ready and deploy SAC forces, notify the local news who broadcast the story... THEN the Martians detect our radar is bouncing off their ship... and Voldar criticizes us that it "took long enough"?!


Diane - aka Starbreeze - almost 3 years ago
2 laughs

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When we hear sleigh bells ring
Our hearts go ding-a-ling...


starman 76 - over 4 years ago
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like most children's films, this movie is a nightmare! if I had seen this flick as a kid I would have run screaming from the theater and had nightmares for weeks! still, the SOL skits have just the right amount of holiday cheer (the one with Gypsy's mouth nativity in particular is very sweet)


Peakpasha - over 5 years ago
4 laughs

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The Mads' invention is particularly evil.


Jane Hill - about 3 years ago
4 laughs

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Cripes! It's July and I'm singing "Hurray for Santee Klaws"....help me....


SirenR - almost 3 years ago
2 laughs

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Anyone else seen the T-Mobile commercial with the "Hooray for Santi Claus" song in it? lol!


David Busch - almost 3 years ago
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What's he gonna do...pull the distributer cap off?


David Busch - almost 3 years ago
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Pack your other mustache!


David Busch - almost 3 years ago
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John Call is Santa Claus in...'Oh, Little Town Of Deathlehem!


Jessica Benjamin - about 3 years ago
2 laughs

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custume designer? Where can i get that job? ranks right up there with tenperature


Bruce Box-Liker - almost 3 years ago
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I've seen this riffed by MST3K, Cinematic Titanic, and RiffTrax, and not one of them jumps on the fact that Andy asks "Is it true that there's a rumor that you're using a rocket-powered sleigh?"

Also, did anyone else notice that Girmar responds to "Bomar" and Bomar responds to "Girmar" when their father greets them for the first time?


RunsWithScissors95 - over 3 years ago
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I love how Tom's head is a snow globe :)


Michael S - about 4 years ago
4 laughs

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So while pointing a huge "ray gun" at their heads, they tell them 'don't be afraid'... makes perfect sense to me...


Dereck LeRoy - almost 4 years ago
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WTF? So If the Martian was going to blow them out of the airlock, they would have just depressurized the whole ship because of that little "air tube" in the corner they climbed up? For people who have mastered interstellar travel, they sure know nothing of air pressure...


Scott Hume - almost 4 years ago
6 laughs

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Just saw the Rifftrax presentation of this in the theater with Mike, Kevin, and Bill. Thanks for keeping the laughs going, guys.


Paul Trieglaff - about 4 years ago
6 laughs

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The three GREATEST opening theme songs of all time:
1: Believe it or Not (Greatest American Hero)
2: SOL Theme (MST3K)
3: Suicide is Painless (M*A*S*H*)
I swear to the Holiest of Gods if someone replies to this post adding "Friends", I will lose faith in humanity...


Andrew Jones - almost 4 years ago
5 laughs

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One thing I noticed from the Rifftrax treatment of this film is that the MST3K version cut a lot, the full film takes itself even more seriously and is even more dull.


Vince Giangiacomo - almost 4 years ago
2 laughs

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For all the riffed Pia gets, she doesn't really do anything in this movie.


Thomas Dickensheets - almost 4 years ago
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Tom: And she takes about battles!


Thomas Dickensheets - almost 4 years ago
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Crow: A new G.I. Joe?


Thomas Dickensheets - almost 4 years ago
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Tom: What you smoking Santa?


Thomas Dickensheets - almost 4 years ago
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Crow: Kids watch too much TV!


Thomas Dickensheets - almost 4 years ago
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Tom: Stop this movie!


Patrick Wiley - almost 4 years ago
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just came to town to riff this flick


Vince Giangiacomo - almost 4 years ago
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For all the riffed Pia gets, she doesn't really do anything in this movie.


Vince Giangiacomo - almost 4 years ago
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For all the riffed Pia gets, she doesn't really do anything in this movie.


Vince Giangiacomo - almost 4 years ago
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For all the riffen Pia gets, she doesn't really do anything in this movie.


Vince Giangiacomo - almost 4 years ago
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For all the riffen Pia gets, she doesn't really do anything in this movie.


Vince Giangiacomo - almost 4 years ago
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For all the riffen Pia gets, she doesn't really do anything in this movie.


Vince Giangiacomo - almost 4 years ago
3 laughs

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For all the riffen Pia gets, she doesn't really do anything in this movie.


Mike Scarlett - almost 4 years ago
4 laughs

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Rob Schneider is...Dropo!


Jaguar Wong Abides - almost 4 years ago
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When the Martian's come to Earth and come upon the little kids...the Kids go "Who...Who are you?" and yet no Who Riffs...I'm surprised they missed that one!


Bruce Ellsworth Reed - almost 4 years ago
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I don't know why, but I love this ep! Especially how Frank flips the boxes as he throws them through the machine. :)


Aaron Kuehmichel - almost 4 years ago
3 laughs

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Is anyone else here psyched about the upcoming live RiffTrax of this? I can't wait!


Glenn Wobick - almost 4 years ago
3 laughs

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Looks like when she thinks of the mass media, she touches herself.


Michael S - about 4 years ago
3 laughs

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Tom Servo with a SNOW GLOBE!!! YES!!!


Bruce Ellsworth Reed - about 4 years ago
3 laughs

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I hate to say it, but I like this movie!


Fredrick Stafford - over 4 years ago
4 laughs

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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians!

Occupies Mars and rebuilds their industrial base at enormous expense and returns Mars to self rule; Martians then build better quality toys and deliver them more cost effectively than Santa Claus! Elf Union outraged!


Elisa Farrington - over 4 years ago
4 laughs

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I can't believe they were using Whammo Air Blasters for Martian weapons! We had one (it's still at my parent's house) and I can still remember the picture of the ape printed on the plastic fringe that served as a target.


Claudette Poirier - over 4 years ago
3 laughs

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It is a good thing that the Martians had such a great grasp of the English language; otherwise, we would all be speaking Martian now.


Shawn Amkr Dickinson - over 4 years ago
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I love franks Noooooo!


Shawn Amkr Dickinson - over 4 years ago
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"I want to decide who lives and who dies" Crow "oh.......I don't know" - Joel. Hahaaa


Shawn Amkr Dickinson - over 4 years ago
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Has this been released on DVD in the us (or is it in an out of print rhino set?) I'd imagine Cinematic Titanic now has the rights to it, but I think it's in the public domain so it wouldn't matter. Its such a classic episode to me, it's shame not to have the MST3K version in print on DVD (Shout! Factory - get on it that! Hell make it a single dvd like hamlet - I dont care haha Ill still cop it)


Bruce Box-Liker - over 4 years ago
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Bomar claims to be ten years old, which makes him approximately eighteen in Earth years.


Cindy - over 4 years ago
3 laughs

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How does the Cinematic Titanic version compare to the MST3K version? I, uh, stumbled on something that's downloading right now...


Thomas Hogan - almost 5 years ago
4 laughs

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Laugh if your watching this on Christmas!


Darius Hejazimanesh - almost 5 years ago
4 laughs

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Santa Claus can be our new Saturday night thing!!! Merry Patrick Swayze Christmas to all MSTies coast to coast.


ICEyun - over 4 years ago
4 laughs

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Re-uploaded and updated episode link! Like always, enjoy, MSTies! =)


James Perez - over 4 years ago
4 laughs

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Is it me, or does the Gizmonic Institute logo look like the Subspace symbol from Super Smash Bros. Brawl?


Lewis Nitzberg STINKS! - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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My friends and I riffed this way before we knew about MST3k. Then I found out it was riffed and *had* to watch it - much better than we could did of course!


Cindy - over 4 years ago
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Oh, I just stumbled onto something else! I'll be able to compare the two myself! LOL! Is the Cinematic Titanic DVD of "Santa Claus Conquers the Martians" the reason why the MST3K version was blasted off of Youtube?


DeaDGoD (John Rogers) - over 5 years ago
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q3yaR0qM7JE

Since we can't upload parts, this is a link to part one of five


Cindy - over 4 years ago
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Santa Claus Conquers the Martians has been out of copyright for years. What gives, Yahoo?


eric hickman - over 4 years ago
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Taken off because of copyright claim...bah humbug!!!


Kaity Gaeta - over 4 years ago
3 laughs

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Word of the day: curmudgeony.


Super McWonderfull - almost 5 years ago
5 laughs

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This is a perfect MST3K movie. So many quotable lines and so many Santa clauses..... I would suggest this for a first time viewer....


Bruce Box-Liker - almost 5 years ago
5 laughs

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For a planet of people who apparently have a single, strict dress code, it really takes the Martians a long time to wrap their heads around the multiple Santas.


Scooter Atreides - almost 5 years ago
6 laughs

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This one is also a good example of why MST3K has such a strong fan base despite being cancelled over 20 years ago: You can re-visit certain episodes again and again and continue to unearth the meanings behind the more obscure riffs as you grow in knowledge.

When I first saw this one at 13, I had no clue why the idea that someone bought Pia Zadora a Golden Globe was funny.....It was only recently, after reading a book by film critic Richard Roeper, that I learned about the scandal behind the 1980 Golden Globes--and the highly dubious nature of the award Zadora "won" for Best New Talent for her performance in the reportedly godawful box-office flop Butterfly.

I guess my point is keep watching: The joke that flies right over your head today might make you laugh your ass off in 10 years ;)


Scooter Atreides - almost 5 years ago
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This and Manos are pretty much the only 2 episodes I haven't watched at the Club...Because they're the only 2 episodes I own (Rhino Video's "The Essentials" 2 disc DVD set--with bonus "Poopie" reel)
But it's Christmas....and I've already watched Santa Claus 3 or 4 times since November 1st....So rather than watching the DVD again I figured I'd come here and see it with the "family" ;)

Merry Christmas.....Richard Baseheart bless us, everyone!


B - almost 5 years ago
5 laughs

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Hope all you other folks watching this tonight are having a very Patrick Swayze Christmas/a Christmas that totally rules/a Christmas that kicks ass/a Christmas that isn't that bad!


Stereo Catz - almost 5 years ago
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So at the end the martian just let a 1700 year old Greek bishop and two children fly an interplanetary spacecraft back to Earth?


Stereo Catz - almost 5 years ago
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Wernher Von Greene... subtle.


Stereo Catz - almost 5 years ago
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I like how the little girl was more concerned about the martian's antennas that the assault weapons they were pointing at her face.


Stereo Catz - almost 5 years ago
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12:05 I'd hate to meet a creature like Batman on a "Dark Knight". Thank you!


Leslie Doesn't Get You - about 5 years ago
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Is it just me or does the main Martian guy look kinda like Steven Colbert?


Em Parker - over 5 years ago
8 laughs

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I love that Tom's head is a snow globe.


Rachel Adams - over 5 years ago
5 laughs

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What's with the kids sleeping in the park in December, listening to the news broadcast?


Rachel Adams - over 5 years ago
3 laughs

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I've got a secret crush on Voldar.


Dave Shumaker - almost 5 years ago
4 laughs

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MST3K's work was left undone... so many more movies need their treatment. This was the perfect way to get into the Christmas Spirit! Thanks for posting :) Love the Coca-Cola stunt polar bear LOL


Rachel Adams - over 5 years ago
6 laughs

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Dropo makes me uncomfortable. He strikes me as a man on the edge of his sanity in real life.


Tristan Moyer - almost 5 years ago
2 laughs

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Bring your other Mustache


Becky Walker - about 5 years ago
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I love how Tom Servo makes a Dr. Who reference to the spaceship being like a tardis as the martians start climbing down the ladder.


Matt Phillips - over 5 years ago
3 laughs

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Let's Have a Patrick Swayze Christmas MP3 download:
http://www.mediafire.com/download.php?duwmzozx5x38mb2


Kelly Slane - about 5 years ago
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I love the easy bake foundry :)


Alissa Hoffman - over 5 years ago
1 laugh

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added a full movie. it's link 2


Rachel Adams - over 5 years ago
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Headbutt.


Eric Weiss - over 5 years ago
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This Movie has been removed by the User. Viewed Mar. 22 2012


Elel - over 5 years ago
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Ah, what would Christmas be without a tree, egg nog, the love of family and friends, and a viewing of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians? There's so much to love in this movie, including a polar bear with a huge zipper down its back.