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412 - Hercules and the Captive Women



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137 laughs

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"I want to live! I want to live and laugh and love! I want to LIVE!!" Servo riff here (34:25), but nearly word for word what Frank said at the beginning of (I believe) Giant Leeches. Is it from anything else?


NavySandman - 10 months ago
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This is one of those movies so bad that I just laughed out loud at the dialog instead of just the riffing. The whole Uranus deal had me giggling. The line about the blood of Uranus made me gag on my coffee. hahaha


FCC?
Rip Van WInkle - 6 months ago
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At 42:27 I swear I hear Tom Servo say: "Oh F***"

Can anyone confirm I'm not crazy?


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Is it just me, or is every Hercules movie about Hercules being easily bamboozled by a beautiful (but evil) queen and then taking a nap?


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I hate how that Hynus or whatever the hell his name is calls his girlfriend "stupid". To her face no less.


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Oh, great; here's another cheap-assed movie that's ripping off the Creature From The Black Lagoon music: Dah-dah DAAAHHH dah... DAH DAH DAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!


Super McWonderfull - almost 5 years ago
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A different person playing Hercules again.... oh well, movie was still good (for a b budget film).....another perfect film for Mystery Science Theater to BEEF up ! ! !


Bruce Ellsworth Reed - about 4 years ago
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Proper pronunciations; [zar-uh-thoo-struh] and [you-rey-nus]! Not [urine-us], I so hate PC!


Cris Marko - almost 4 years ago
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This is one of the films that riffs itself.


Funky The Monkey - over 1 year ago
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That was a real thing of playing music to the fetus to boost intelligence later on. Mostly classical music, and others may tried to play other instructional material to the infant through the same means. But as I remember, the science behind this is a bit iffy and inconclusive. No real proof that it boosts the infant's intelligence later. Whatever, just funny and even cool when one of Joel's experiments is also a thing outside the show.


Teri Gee - 8 months ago
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This is one of those movies where they had to chop it down so much that it becomes hard to follow the story. I watched the original and it's an easy story to follow. It makes it seem kind of disingenuous when they complain about the story not having a plot.

Yes, I know I'm being too serious about it, but the reason it's hard to follow is not the movie itself. It's the way they chose to chop it down.

But it's still funny riffing. :)


Rachel Anne Mullins - over 1 year ago
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47:49: Graham Chapman?!


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"Help me, Zeus. I do not do this out of pride, as you know... But with humility." Er, yes. That's what Zeus and Hercules were known for.


Religious implications
Donald Petkus - over 1 year ago
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Joel's explanation of his role as Creator and his assigning each of his creations a specific and unique purpose reminds me of catechism class. BTW, in Catholic grade school, every class was catechism class.


Elisa Farrington - over 4 years ago
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1:19:34 - Did anyone else take a double take at that view of the sea? I had to go back and pause to see if it was as bad as I thought...yep!


Great Scott - almost 4 years ago
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Wow, Joel's leg is really long... and flexible... and boneless.


Sean Barry - over 3 years ago
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You know a movie is going to be bad when the main protagonist spends most of his time sleeping...


Muffin - over 1 year ago
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The woman trapped in rock begs Herc to kill her, and when he sets her free literally minutes later, she's like, "whatever, I'm out, catch ya later Herc-meister"
Captive Women... what can you do, am I right demi-gods?


James Wolfe - over 1 year ago
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Im surprised they didnt catch the three note dissonant horn passages used in Creature from the Black Lagoon.


Ozzie Olin - over 2 years ago
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Does... Does Servo say "fuck" at 42:28?


Sabrina Domingues - almost 5 years ago
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There IS such a thing as good-natured brawling.


Greg Legas - almost 2 years ago
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1:27:22 Most disciplined non-Riff EVER! Family show, family show....


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If I remember my mythology correctly, Uranus is the original godly being, father of the Titans, GRANDFATHER of the rest of the gods, Zeus, Posiedon, etc.


Gratuitous Lurking - almost 2 years ago
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Rock hits shield, guard falls down. What is this, a shooting gallery?


Snuffy Wuffykiss - about 2 years ago
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Oh to live the life of Herc... Sleep, eat, drink some drugged wine, sleep more, make out with the local princess, sleep more...


NS - over 5 years ago
4 laughs

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My inner 6-year-old would have found this movie hilarious even without the riffing.

I'm certain I haven't watched this episode in the past decade, but specific parts of it are very familiar. Could this have been my first MST3K?


Richard Deakin - over 3 years ago
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Love it when Gypsy finally got involved in the riffing! Why is it that in all these Herc movies, they make Hercules always dum and lazy? I don't get it! He wasn't like that really in mythology was he? Love all the Uranus jokes too! Too many cheap Uranus jokes to mention, but real funny! Don't get what Atlantis and Uranus have in common though :-\ ....oh well.


MSTeacher3K - about 3 years ago
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Why does this movie's title have "Captive WomEn" in it? There are only three scenes in which a womAn is being held captive, and those scenes are fairly short. A better title would have been "Hercules and the Albino Atlanteans", or "Hercules and the Wrath of Uranus".


Teri Gee - about 3 years ago
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I'll be honest, here: I think the Hercules/Maciste/Colossus movies are really easy to watch. They're not deep and meaningful, of course, but they're classic cheap adventure movies and I could easily watch them without riffing.

They're ripe for riffing, but they're not like the non-movies of the Coleman Francis type.


Teri Gee - over 2 years ago
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I noticed this time that the Queen Antinea and Hercules are actually speaking English while her daughter and Hylus are not.I guess this is what Italian cinema is like. They overdub all movies and so it doesn't matter what language is spoken by the actors. At least, that's what I've heard.


Hercules and the Captive Women
Stu Slaymaker - almost 4 years ago
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"The blood of Uranus can never be destroyed!"


Robert Brown - almost 3 years ago
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Zatharatoo!


Robert Brown - almost 3 years ago
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So this is where the Wolf Raiders came from! An Atlantean genetic experiment. Or something. This may be the worst of the Herc movies on MST, which is a kind of accomplishment. Kudos to the film makers!


Matthew Eickhoff - over 5 years ago
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This Hercules movie is hilarious, the first part is slow, but Gypsy in the theater makes up for that.


Garry Tardy - over 4 years ago
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This was the first MST3K episode I ever saw so I have a soft spot for it. And personally, the Uranus jokes never get old. :)


Joshua Bowers - about 4 years ago
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I know this was the 90s, and that there was no Interwebs to look stuff up on, and that the characters frequently mispronounce things, but "Zatharatu"? Seriously?


No Springs! (Or Pants, Or Restful Sleep...)
Any Which Way Aileen Smithee Can - almost 3 years ago
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I'm pretty sure that Coilly went back in TV-time to dub the little guy's voice. Also, I've gotta' say that Androcles looks fiiiiiine in his micro-mini dress and matching cape. Maybe that's why I thought that Hercules' visions of his missing sovereign/ex were almost affecting. (Or maybe the cheap feel and incomprehensibility of bad films automatically gives them the quality of a weird, half-remembered dream.)


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They reference Firesign Theater at 19:15 it makes me happy


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That is the second worst man vs. lizard fight I've ever seen.


ColemanFrancis's Ghost - about 3 years ago
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How about Gian Maria Volonte (from the Fistful of Dollars and a Few Dollars more) in his third role at around 13:00 (he's the guy who throws the spears at the wall)


Andrew - over 3 years ago
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Damn.... Another one blocked in the US... *shakes fist*


Teri Gee - over 3 years ago
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Okay, I just noticed. The music at the end of this movie is the same as The Thing That Couldn't Die. (That's the name, right? The one with Aunt Flavia? In season 8?). And I think it's the same as in Revenge of the Creature, too.


David - about 4 years ago
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I gave this one my first good watching last night and I have to ask : where were the captive women? There were lots of captive men, a bunch of captive kids but only one captive woman who Herc saved thirty seconds after she showed up. This movie has the most inaccurate title since "Future War" !


Great Scott - almost 4 years ago
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Giant faux rocks, apply directly to the forehead.


Brad D - about 5 years ago
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Another great Herc riff fest. The Uranus riffs alone are worth sitting through the whole thing.


Leslie Doesn't Get You - over 4 years ago
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09:10 Joel looks over at Gypsy before she delivers her one good joke. I guess he was signalling Jim, but I wish he'd done it in some other way that we couldn't see.


Fredrick Stafford - over 4 years ago
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Whew, that was painful. If anyone has a large Styrofoam boulder please feel free to bounce it off my head.


Elisa Farrington - over 4 years ago
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"Gee wow Dad, you're really strong Dad...can I help Dad? Hercules and son escaping from Antinea's dungeon is the golden fleece in this bomb. "...go set the table for your mother."


David Sircin - over 4 years ago
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This is a great episode with a lot of good riffs, but I think Crow's eulogy takes the cake for funniest line.


Leslie Doesn't Get You - about 5 years ago
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57:03, that guy on the right, doesn't he look like Edgar Allan Poe?


Leslie Doesn't Get You - over 4 years ago
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1:12:17. Look at the left two thirds of the screen. Doesn't it look like the mask the head of the Moon Men wore in Hercules Against the Moon Men? If you look at it with a little imagination.


Brad Gravett - about 5 years ago
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Reg Park is the best Herc. At all times he has the look of a man just hit by a fish.


Matt Towler - over 5 years ago
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Gahhh, so many Uranus jokes in this one...


Gal Dagon - over 5 years ago
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No Riffs could really top the Uranus dialogue approximately one hour into the show.