417 - Crash of the Moons
Full Episode: | |
Short - General Hospital part 3: | |
Original Movie: |
Eps:
813,
208,
621,
417
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Comments (63) Best Riffs (194)
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Would you folks keep it down? Your crappy party's depressing everyone in the building!!!

Bobby, if we could only get some air in here.
You can have some from my mouth!

Stay close to the door where you can't be seen.
Alright! Dear Penthouse...
You know, a fella could make a real funny comment about that if he was so inclined.

They're landing on the planet of Magic Rocks!
"Professor Newton, and Rocky and Winky!" --and Bobo and Poopypants and Greasy Dan!
Whoa, did I get really betrayed last night or what

" ♫ ♭ Climb ev'ry cheap set... 'til you find a plot... ♭ ♫"

"Oh, sure. Everybody's baby is so smart."

"Maybe he thinks he's too good for us. Well, screw Rocky!"

"How can you not love a skull like this?!"

"Uh... made my own blender mayonnaise yesterday!"

[grunt] "Aah, this weighs a ton! I shouldn't have used that Sakrete™!"
"He'd been so happy for days. Laughing and not a single whimper...." - Now he insists on eating!
"That's right Winkie, we're all here!" And This is Your Life!
"You see guys, when a spaceship loves a space station very very much..."

You know, she'd never would have made it in a private girls' school; she just can't sneak that well.
♬ The weather started getting rough. The tiny wheel was tossed. ♬
Oz didn't do nothing for Bill Tinsman that he didn't already have.
"No wait a minute; don't go yet. Sit a minute."
I gave you cake; you owe me!

"Ohh, is the great Hollingsworth Morse going to direct?"
"Uh, judges? *annk!* I'm sorry, we can't accept that."
"Damn, damn!"
"Overused."

"The X-V5 is ready to be dispatched." What about the MC5?
You see guys when a spaceship loves a space station very, very much...you get this here.
"Don't worry, we'll get you off before then."
Alriiiiight! Heh heh heh.
You know, there's not a gifted conversationalist in this whole group.
"Yep, I'm afraid he's an infant, but he will grow out of it."
"Professor, where's the little prince?" That's rather personal, isnt it?

God, I'm unappealing.

"I have to be at the hospital first thing in the morning." For my autopsy.
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9:22 - the sets wobble more than an episode of Red Dwarf!
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at 6:50 i swear it sounds like she's crapping herself uncontrollably while she gets the phone
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This is a timely episode considering how 🌏 Earth was destroyed in the collision with Planet X on 9/23/2017
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What's the name of the wife abuser...Ampersand??
Bit o' trivia...Adrian Belew wrote a great song called Ampersand:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gsZSS-_OOqg
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Wait a minute... does Rocky Jones ever figure out that Clialata (sp?) was behind the pirating operation in 'Manhunt in Space' that resulted in the murders of the crews of the ships that were looted? Whatever happened with that?
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I love the True Grit reference in the opening segment
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Why is everyone in love with Rocky Jones? Why does everyone say his full name instead of just "Rocky"
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Maybe they can all evacuate to New Mexico.
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If you wonder how these totally barren planets and produce enough food to live , I guess you should really just relax.
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Jeepers, the amount of phallic symbols is staggering.
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The helmet-haired woman from the General Hospital short was played by Carolyn Craig, who was in The House on Haunted Hill, which has been riffed by Rifftrax.
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Is it just me, or does the baby in this movie look like Toby in Labyrinth?
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Civil War re-enactments hats -- free to any astronaut
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Joel's hand operating the fake ocean waves
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Poor Winky, he'll never know a woman...his winkie is a confirmed a wasteland.
A state of permanent perplexity and uncertainty over what to do in a difficult situation.
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...in Denver!
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Cleolanta's forbidding her subjects access to outside information reminds me of the Kim family and the Hermit Kingdom.
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I like the scientific technobabble in Crow's latest read through.
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If these gypsy moons are such a destructive problem why the heck are the only dealing with them now and why is rocky jones and not the government responsible for dealing with them?
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C'mon folks . . . this episode features a young (and skinny) Sgt. Schultz! That's enough to qualify for the magic 100-laughs rating , , , even if it has that screaming baby in the background (which irritates me to no end).
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So, never mind about the absurd thing with the moons and their "atmosphere chain." Or that, not being in orbit around anything, they're not actually moons. Or that no one on the station is worried about it being pulled into one of them by gravity. Or how quickly they're apparently moving through space. The professor says that the problem is that nothing designed to operate in space can possibly withstand being in an atmosphere... Right after talking to Rocky, whose ship just took off from a planet with an atmosphere and went into space.
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I don't wanna pick a fight with John Banner, but I once saw Werner Klemperer in a TV interview and he seemed like a really nice guy.
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Little tiara. Big temper. Hidden tenderness. Glaring temptress. My loyalty to thee I do profess. My Queen. My Suzerain. My Love. My Empress.
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"Baby realizes is in Crappy Movie..Eats own Hand...News at 11".
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Hat-thrust, @inky
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I'm sending a BannerGram to everyone in this discussion right now!
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I'm surprised Joel and the 'Bots didn't say "Again?" in the Rocky the Squirrel voice whenever someone said "Rocky". Maybe they felt they beat that one to death in the other episodes.
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Scotty Beckett, the actor who played Winky, lived a short, tragic life. He had to be replaced on this show because he was jailed on weapons charges and may have been involved in an armed robbery. He died at the age of 38 from unknown causes.
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Whoa, Kevin pronounces "karaoke" correctly...
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That baby must have been bitten by a radioactive spider. He's got a precognative danger sense.
But what I can't figure out is how the rooms on the Orbit Jet are oriented. Which way is up? It sits vertically on the pad, but travels horizontally through space. And they always walk on the floor.
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Life is now complete: A riff, referencing "A Child's Garden of Grass," at 55:15. : )
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31:22 "*sigh*" Did the space station move for you, too?
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Who can take these guys seriously? Their names are Rocky and Winky.
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Pete Townshend was not at all rich when he started smashing guitars.
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What did Joel mean when he said, "Never again, you guys. That's it!"?
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One thing that I actually appreciate about the Rocky Jones series is that they actually took time to make the characters more than just bad guys. In the first that we saw, Cleolanta is the villain and Ampersand is her henchman. Then, in Crash of the Moons, we suddenly see Ampersand as someone devoted to a cause but loving his wife. Even Cleolanta becomes less villainous. I'm actually a little impressed.
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I love these old Rocky movies, I just wish there were more of them.
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I drink everytime I hear "atmosphere chain."
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The problem with riffing the 3 General Hospital episodes is that, much like the Commando Cody serial, each episode is terrible in exactly the same way as its fellows.
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Did you know that Earth was hit by a Mars-sized planet billions of years ago? Scientists call it Orpheus I think, and being hit by such a large body knocked off a chunk of the planet and created TWO moons. These two moons orbited Earth for millions and millions of years, but eventually collided and made the one moon we've had ever since. Now you knooooow!
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Winky has a couple of good scenes in this one. Pretty good hand to hand combat with the big guard came first. Winky actually shows some regret when order to fire on the ship bearing Cleolanta and Ampersand.
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The actual title of this movie, according to the title card is simply "Crash of Moons" (no "the").
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I just noticed that Joel's the one moving the cardboard water during the Gypsy Moons segment.
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Frank's scene with the toothpaste makes me sick to my stomach every time...
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Someone may have mentioned this in another episode with the General Hospital shorts, but I still can't believe how long it took me to recognize Roy Thinnes in these shorts as being the same guy in Code Name: Diamond Head.
They ARE the same person, right? I'm not just imagining it?
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This one puts me to sleep every time.
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WINKY’S DIARY…
Strangest thing happened today diary. After the crash of the moons, Rocky, Bobby, and I were returning home on the Orbit Jet. Bobby was on the bridge giving us yet another long pretentious lecture on his idea for a “space anchor.” Rocky sat silently and then told me to take over and excused himself to the cargo hold to “take care of something.” Moments later Rocky called on the intercom and asked me to send Bobby back to help him. I was thinking about a swell girl back home when I noticed the warning light indicating that the ship’s external airlock was open began to flash. Before I could alert Rocky it stopped. A few minutes later Rocky returned to the bridge. He sat down with what seemed to be a small euphoric smile. He leaned back comfortably, exhaled, pulled his cap down over his eyes, and causally asked me about my plans for the weekend…Huhhh?
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DON'T YOU DO IT! DON'T YOU DO IT! I KNEW YOU'D SEND A BANNERGRAM! FRANK, DON'T OPEN THE DOOOOOOOOR!
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OK, don't laugh, but I kinda liked this movie. It's got a certain retro charm, lol. The good guys are the good guys, no one gets shot in the face and everyone lives happily ever after. Plus the riffing is great. "So what would happen if one moon sat down and shut up?" LOL
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It was a tragic ending to a wonderful life. One can't help being alcoholc/drugs anymore than you can choose your gender. RIP Scotty!
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Man, this movie is a krankendunginfreekinpoopen majoreegensuperkrappen.
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Little stock-footage baby looks a bit like Rocky. Shame on you, Mrs. Bovarro!
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Cool Whip and Jell-o Instant Pudding...two delicious tastes in every spoonful!
(Pudding in a Cloud).
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Winky's back!
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"Oh Dr Forrester....."
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"I see nothing!! nothing!!"
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I live for the day when they'll discover a "lost" MST3k ep that's nothing but two solid hours of GENERAL HOSPITAL!
:D
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in the General Hospital short .... is that not Jodie Foster? ... how is that not Jodie Foster?!
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As a fan of Robert Heinlein, I kinda liked this experiment. It harkens (Did I say harkens??) back to his earlier young adult books, like "Space Cadet" and "Starman Jones". I think the writes of the show swiped stuff from him! Keep in mind, this was edited together from a few episodes of the 1954 TV series "Rocky Jones, Space Ranger". I think they did a pretty good job considering it was such an early television program! It was one of the few such early shows recorded on film, that's the only reason it survived for Joel and the Bots to "enjoy".
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10 people watching this right now.
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Who decorated Babar - oh's
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Great riffing in this one.
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Although the riffing in this flick is not as fast paced as most, it's still a GEM