602 - Invasion USA
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Short - A Date with your Family: | |
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Comments (119) Best Riffs (225)
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
Some kind of bomb? I'm THE bomb, kid. I'm IT! Mr. A-1 ARMEGEDDON, DUCK AND COVER,END OF THE WORLD, FLESH MELTIN' ATOM BOMB!...but you can call me Bob.
We got a real purty view of the dust cloud out of the right window. it's currently 7000 degrees in San Francisco
Just keep coming down till you're not in the sky anymore. Don't you know how to land?

Yes, dozens of stunt pilots were killed during the making of this film.
SERVO : "This music is like a good Danny Elfman Tune."
CROW: "You mean it doesn't exist?"
"There's a bellhop back at my hotel --- knows all the angles."
"Calls himself 'Euclid'."

Do they really have to follow the roads when they're flying?
It's the freeway to the danger zone.

Communism. They tried that on me last week, and I told them where to get off.
Where was that?
My plant. "In Moscow."

I'm a cattle racer. Races... cattle. Ok.

So, are you gonna finish those windows, or...?

Despite the best efforts of the little Dutch boy...

(Bombs drop all across the city. Cabbie smiles and shrugs.) Yeah, you see all kinds.

"What's that?" Oh, it's the end of the world as we know it. I feel fine.

Bleh, this sucks. I'm knocking off for lunch.
Yeah, me too.
Eh, I suppose I'll go with you.

Looks like James Sullivan really had his work cut out for him.

I can't stress 'unemotional' enough.
“There is no family so poor but that the evening meal can be eaten in an atmosphere of warmth and gentleness”...and control and repression...
What you are watching now should have been edited in the final version. My apologies.

"To the people of the invaded cities I bring this message: Do not despair." ...uh--to those of you not flash-fried.

"To the people of the invaded cities I bring this message..." ...you're on your own.

"We have huge stocks of atomic weapons." Everything must go.
Recently, I was taken by a particular article of literature. The author used sentences and paragraphs to express his point of view.

"Last time I met a girl I really liked, they bombed Pearl Harbor." -- I thought it was because Hirohito . . .
Would you really jump out of a window for me, you nut? I mean would you? Right now?
"He said we could safely reduce our armed forces by half." "He wasn't only wrong, he's dead." Guess he won't do that again!
"TWA Flight 289 to San Francisco tower, request landing instructions."
"Uh, well just keep coming down until you're not in the sky anymore! Don't you know how to land?"
HALT! Who goes there?" The cubs! Stuffed turtles! Saul Bellow! Oh never mind, Oooaa, gag, choke, die. (Sorry, couldn't understand it all but it makes me LOL every time).
How about that sporting event...hmmm? one team emerged the victor...whereas the other, alas, found themselves vanquished

Be yourself. Just be sure it's your best self. And be sure no one knows the real you.

"So then Sister Mary Patrick had him up against the wall, and nailed him..."

"I'm a tractor manufacturer." Daiquiri-swilling tractor manufacturer, ok?

"...it makes dad and mother uncomfortable and unhappy..." and they already dislike you enough.
Well, that guy makes a lot of sense too. I'm torn between mourning my boyfriend and subscribing to Marxist dogma...hmmm...mourn boyfriend; Marxist dogma...hmmm.
"A simple centerpiece made from flowers in the backyard,"...is stupid!
"Last time I met a girl I really liked, they bombed Pearl Harbor."
"I thought it was 'cause Hirohito. . ."
"Mother is served first, then daughter" Let's go to the flow chart for this.
. . .requesting landing instructions."
"Well, just keep coming down 'til you're not in the sky anymore!"
World War III separates the serious drinkers from the amateurs.
"Yes mother Junior remembered to clean up", You emasculating bint.

It's a long par 5 leading to the nation's capital.

"You forgot your beer!"
"You drink it!"
I don't drink this swill!

Your son drew another giraffe, sir.
Boy, this many bombs? Must be a comedy club!
At least everyone who lived through the Blitz can rest assured its been used as filler for this movie.

This makes me pine for Red Dawn. "Avenge me! Avenge me!!!"

"Despite the heroic efforts of our armed forces..." Bozo has been cancelled.

"This is it. The final game of the World Series, ans we're the home team." And we're the Mariners.
"Nothing destroys the charm of a meal more quickly--" - than having a personality.
"Those boys genuinely greet their dad like they're happy to see him." They're not, of course..
He's got to strip and replace the oil in his hair with summer weight...
Mother is needed in the kitchen. Where the postman eagerly awaits.
Dont go building a robot while you're over there pushing the button Mike!
Their probably gonna bomb the Grateful Dead, & Starship ...
( wooooo hooooo YEAH !!! )
DO YOU, DO YOU !! ?? .................. WELL DO YOU, BETTER say YES DAMN IT !!
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Peggie Castle had one of the sexiest voices to be heard on an MST3K'd film.
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and they let the 420 joke op slip by?
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The thing about the short is... Family dinners are a good tradition. And there is something to be said for leaving unpleasant topics out of it. The short just makes a really bad job of making those points by drowning them out with casual sexism, overbearing blandness, and forced conformity.
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So... "The Enemy" (who happen to be communists with territory adjacent to Alaska) senses that the US doesn't have enough tanks to withstand nuclear bombardment (think about that one for a sec) and decides to invade. In retaliation, as per MAD doctrine, the US nukes their cities, factories, and farmland. In the end, the US manages to drive off the invaders, but both countries are left with massive casualties and billions in property and infrastructure damage (with no mention of the radiation).
And so the moral of our story is that Mutually Assured Destruction is a good deterrent to war because there is absolutely no point in invading a country capable of an unimaginably devastating retaliatory strike which would leave both your countries (and possibly the rest of the world) pretty much uninhabitable, so therefore...
Wait, no. The moral of our story is that MAD won't stop the enemy, our armed forces are all but useless, and so everyone should immediately move to a full wartime footing.
A point driven home by a parting quote from George Washington, who in reality didn't want us to have a standing army at all and warned in his farewell address to the nation that we "avoid the necessity of those overgrown military establishments which, under any form of government, are inauspicious to liberty." He further held that having a military would simultaneously drive up unnecessary and unsustainable debt while also getting us into unnecessary wars because having ready military power is in itself a temptation to use it. He went on in that address to advise that we cultivate peaceful relationships with other countries and that we avoid persistent antipathy towards any given country. Exactly the opposite of what the film would have us believe.
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Poor Sylvester, the defense contractor gets pushed around by the DoD guy who needs tanks, then gets blocked by an intrusive reporter and a drunk who invites himself to the conversation.
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In "A Date with your Family" - is everyone tip-toeing around the father who's about to lose it? Is he a repressed, covert version of Frank Booth from Blue Velvet?
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Daughter changes into something a bit more festive.
[A Puritan high-collar dress. Wait -- what was less festive?]
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"Dad, I'm dating a negro"...(!?!?). I get that Crow is trying to comment on the ignorance of the period, but I feel like they were just trying to find a way to justify saying that at all under the guise of cras humor. There's literally a dozen different ways to make that joke without justifying racism through laughter.
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"Tanks are more important than tractors." Hahaha, wow.
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Of course every communist is furious, cruel, and borderline psychopathic. There's nothing like cold war movies made during the colf war.
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This was the most disturbing short they've ever riffed. Like worse than the music fairy even.
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I gotta say, I never really thought about the host segments separately from the episode, but the segments here do stand out. The mock family dinner, and "Make Crow look like an idiot" pieces have me ROTFLMAO! The same way the "Killer Shrews Board Game" does.
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is this movie a little more topical/foreshadow'y for today's shit-tastic Trump mess??
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Oh. My. God. This is the worst movie I’ve ever seen.
There’s the lazy stock footage that’s obviously taken from WWII, those “Communists” have the most absurd and indistinguishable accents, and don’t get me started on the characters!
The reporter “hero” (I use the term loosely) is a smug, greasy, unlikeable dickweed who starts hitting on another man’s girl RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM; the girl is a tramp who falls for the reporter like an idiot with no thought to her boyfriend; and the industrialist boyfriend is an absolute moron for actually trusting the greasy, untrustworthy reporter with his girl!
I’ve never been so frustrated by any MST3K movie in my entire life! I’d watch Manos: Hands of Fate over this abomination any day of the week!!!
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soooooo, i hope i'm not getting this wrong, but it seems that they wanna fight communism with.....communism? trying to get everyone to put aside their own needs, for the needs of the country, isn't that what communism is kinda based on too?
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The Soviets launch an sneak air attack on America by going- through Alaska? Talk about totally giving up the element of surprise. And they drop tons of paratroopers- on ALASKA! They're more likely to me mauled by polar bears than to encounter any Americans.
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Most of my life was spent in the Cold War, it's amusing to poke fun at it, put we were very scared back then guys.
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Ha! You wish, but just keep dreamin’ Lenin….we’re still here and only moderately Marxist at this point.
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New Cinema Edition of, "Invasion U.S.A." now playing...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vY2FKBqKaU4
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Am I the only one who thinks that Duke's wife is totally hot (especially for a 50's chick)?
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“A cub is a young animal, a bear.” He doesn’t follow baseball, shoot him!
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that hypnotist brandy glass guy looks familiar, he reminds me of the guy that owns OCP in the original Robocop movie (runs to google) aha, he IS the old man from Robocop, nice to know my facial recognition software is still working. when i thought i saw heather langenkamp in teenage strangler, i thought it was on the fritz.....oops, shouldn't say fritz around american propaganda,
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more stock than a beef stew
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''...england and france declared war on our side'' but they said they were waiting to get fully involved until the war was nearly over and until ''the enemy'' attacks them too, and then they'll come in at the end, and claim victory was theirs alone, just so we know what it felt like in dubya dubya two when we did the same to them.
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Funniest opening host segment of all time. And this is coming from a 68%-ish Joel-leaning MSTie! The next segment with the mads is just about as as good; and then its all followed up by that perennial classic initiatory short. An inarguable canonical tour-de-force. Like father, like son. Think about it, won't you.
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"For every atom bomb dropped on our country, we have taken three to the enemy's heartland."
So we're ahead on points.
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My favourite is how the cab driver is super chill while the family freaks out. The dad is yelling at him to go faster, like the driver wouldn't be trying to save himself lmao
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I liked Noel Neill better. And she was hotter... slightly.
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Good thing the Duke's family happened to be waiting on the side of the road for a cab ride. On second thought , maybe not.
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It's in color! But no sound. Must not of had color audio at the time.
https://archive.org/details/DateWith1950_2
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They bomb our nations hobo's!
They took out Box Car Willie!!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7Qdxgam-xE4
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Btw, the guy who plays "The Bomb" also played "Mr. Honcho" in Mike/Kevin/Bill's FILM CREW short-lived series, which was their project between MST and Rifftrax
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Way underrated experiment. They shred the short to perfection; btw, that creepy brother bares watching with junior.
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This is my favorite short.
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So people are willing to change partners because of an hallucination?
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I was expecting a Chuck Norris piece of crap and instead get this one.
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Come ON! What kind of crap was that "perfect American dream family." Man, the suppression skills they propagate, are only making future psychiatrist a lot of money in their near future.
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" And we're the Mariners. "
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This is the first time I've watched this episode and I'm surprised I haven't heard anything about it before. The short, host segments, riffing, it all hits. One of my new favorite epis.
And Gypsy crushed it during the Family Dinner host segment.
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I really love the foley work these guys produce sometimes XD
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Well of course the psychic is an anti-communist: they're materialists!
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"So are you going to finish the windows" - Mike
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Aahhh......the acrid stench of abundant stock footage!
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The leads going off to the Red CRoss to donate blood is another good idea for a first date. Too bad there's no festoonery involved.
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"Postpone disagreeable news till another time" ??? Like...... WHEN !!?? At dinner ? After dad starts drinking ??!! Maybe when mom & dad are doing the horizontal bop ?? Tell me ... WHEN IS a good time ??!!
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Lol they said landing in a field near Puget Sound. I hope they like their fields filled with trees.
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So, the propaganda is strong with these two - the short and the film.
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Don't joke around, guys, a lot of people in this country are still afraid of communism for some reason.
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This short is the epitome of greatness.
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At around the 36 minute mark, when the dogfight begins, watch the bots (namely Crow since he's the only one whose mouth we can see). It looks like they completely reedited in news riffs and dubbed it over. Crow's mouth keeps moving but he's not saying anything.
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“-What do you drink in San Francisco?
-A daiquiri.
-Sounds like a sissy drink to me.”
It’s San Francisco!
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The short makes me want to hurl! And I'm a child of that era! It's so....I can't even....Ja Wohl!
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The frame rate on this video seems like it's 60 FPS or something. It's unusually smooth.
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he's been missing for days and his family was just standing next to the fence the whole time?!
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why is that kid wearing shorts to play baseball?!
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So, major American cities are being hit by atomic bombs and the response is to hold a blood drive?!?!
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Best viewscreen bit ever? Best viewscreen bit ever. Mr. A-Bomb was hilarious!
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Crow's squeaking from the window cleaner makes me laugh out loud every time. XD
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Without a doubt, favourite episode. Followed closely behind by Teenage Cavemen, Lost Continent, Riding With Death, and Daddy-O. No exceptions No refunds.. All fun!
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56:43 - Must've been the club car.
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Uuuugh. I don't know if it's because I grew up in the 90s but this film's morals and research are just all over the map.
What really bugs me is the military stuff in general. I know that people didn't know a lot about atomic bombs nowadays, but ARGH! If you got nukes, YOU DON'T NEED GROUND TROOPS AFTER THEM! The whole point of the Hiroshima and Nagasaki bombs were TERROR WEAPONS to prove to Japan they couldn't prolong the war at the current state, not to be thrown around like grapefruits, and you certainly wouldn't carpetbomb em like the glorious stock footage recycler pointed it out. Gets bad when the codeword thing with the 'Who won the World Series' was about the most realistic thing in the movie when it came to wartime tactics.
And then of course there's the ending. Hurrdurr it was all a dream! Quick, move your mindset to a constant warstate! Never enjoy a time of peace! To fight commies, we must become commies!
Ugh, I need a drink. Prop me up a Nuka Cola, barkeep.
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This movie is low-budget greatness. Like Night of the Living Dead, it presents only a microcosm of a widespread disaster. Instead of focusing on non-stock-footage death and destruction, instead of witnessing the commie bastards dropping A-bombs on our cities, we focus on dull, boring scenes in bars and airports. How THRILLING!
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Trace has mentioned this short as his favorite. I always show it to my Sociology classes.
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WTF- An atomic torpedo? Really? How far away would you have to fire that from to be safely out of the blast range when it hit?
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Oh, come on... multiple atomic weapons are dropped on NYC and ONLY 30k are killed? gimme a break. That should be at LEAST 6 digits....
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The skit spoofing the pleasant dinner was hilarious, esp Crow's hair style.
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If they could have had it in this movie back then, they would have the Russians eating children.
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Interactions between Crow and Dr. F. (such as the experiment with the doll) are funnier when you remember that Trace is playing both parts.
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27:15 "Over 500 planes were seen at 4:20 this afternoon." Crow's head, which had been looking off to the side, whips to attention. Tom turns to look at him.
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Who funded this fear mongering dreck? The military?
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So after the two guys land in San Francisco, they ride in a cab. The cabbie looks so much like Kevin Pollak. It's uncanny!
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Don't go on a Date with your Family!
Turns out it's ~awkward~ and they usually don't put out, either.
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Somehow I get the feeling this short is a good representation of what Romney's plan for America was.
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Probably shouldn't have watched this after finishing Fallout. I'm taking the film too seriously.
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/crow as jerry garcia...ONANDONANDON!!! never laughed so hard at an MST3K skit. far and away my favorite
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In mother Russia, TV watch you.
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21:10 & 51:25 - Crow's dedication to the squeaky window bit has me rolling.
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The prequel to Inception!
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I dreamed I had a date with a Russian family...
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44:25 A BIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT!!!!
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The hypnotist/Mr. Ohman-is the same actor who played "the Old Man" in ROBOCOP
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I'm actually digging this stock footage of the Shooting Stars and old Migs.
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Wait, there is no Boulder County in Arizona!
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Ugh yeesh this short makes me feel kind of sick...
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This is a good episode, but I have a harder time enjoying it because, when I scan through the comments, there are always so many political things. Nothing ruins good entertainment like a political discussion.
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“What is word for Bo…” Wait, why aren’t we just speaking Russian?
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The first scene of this movie features a guy grilling another for not being fascist enough. ("Should the govt. draft people for factory work?")
I suspect we're in for a wild, yellow, jingoist ride with this one.
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I love how calm everyone in the nation is, as atom bombs are dropped everywhere.
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"but such are the vicissitudes of _________". I love saying this!! Now I know where I heard it!
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Anybody going to mention Trace's epic line flub at 36:24?
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All those who don’t support pointless military expansionism should DIE!
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16:27 You had an apartment in De De Johnson?
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no Petey Plane, no fun
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I think this is the best short of all of them, hilarious.
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I saw the opening segment as a hat tip to Joel as it highlighted Mike's ineptitude at building cool robots like Joel was obviously able to do. Which is fortunate, as his creation was so Dalekish... "De-stroy, De-stroy, De-stroy..."
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A guy on you tube says Chuck Norris was in this movie, WHERE? He was age 12 +/- The kid in the back of the cab?
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***SPOILER RANT BELOW, DO NOT READ UNTIL END OF FILM***
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(unless you've already seen it of course)
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AW!!! And the whole movie is a F****ING DREAM!?!?!? SERIOUSLY? DREAM SEQUENCE? THAT"S AN HOUR AND A HALF OF MY LIFE I WILL NEVER GET BACK YOU ******* **** ********* ********ING ******* PIECE OF ***** ******* ******ING **** FILM MAKERS! *heavy breathing* Ok.... ahh now I feel better. Push the button, Frank.
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One of the most underrated episodes!
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That's it! I want a dr. Clayton Forrestor doll to go with my Tickle Me Grimaldi doll!!!!
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Crow's mother (aka the wire cage with an air-pop head) returns in the series finale.
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"Got a light....I think I hear one coming"
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1:03:55 (Flames swept the entire state of California tonight...)
So, it's a typical Californian summer?
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Sometimes, Joel/Mike and the bots hit a home run on the first pitch. "A Date With Your Family" -- The Woody Allen Story!
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I love how Crow always makes the "whoosh" sound himself whenever he rushes in or out of the room.
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This movie must've been really cheap to make. It's 85% stock footage. And that ending-- It was all a dream... Who wrote this script, an eight year old?
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tom servo's "surrender dorothy" from the Wiz is so random lmao
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The ending of this movie is... I'm speechless.
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Whenever I "introduce" someone to MST3K, I like to show them (or recommend) this short as an example of the show.
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Yeah, I don’t think one missile from a fighter plane is going to take down Hoover Dam.
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Enigmatic bastard, isn't he?
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Loved the clear images of british army helmets in “Manhattan”.
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The enemy invaders were dressed in US uniforms not for tactical advantage, but because it was cheaper to recycle the same uniforms the prop department already had and so they could us US WWII stock footage.
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I like the part where Crow chooses the brand x mommy, and makes an almost bodysnatcheresque squeal at Mike when he tries to intercede...don't you? *blissful sigh*
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I know every movie in the fifties had an obligatory love story subplot but it's just awkward in this movie. It's jarring when it switches from a family dying to delicate music in a scene between the reporter and the blood-bank nurse.
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Saturday nights were the perfect slot for MST. Friday would have been kind of cool so that you had a whole weekend to look forward to. Wasn't there a point when they were played on Sunday afternoons or some crazy crap like that?
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I love how this movie's suggestion to deal with communism, an omnipresent threat of government repression and the cessation of all individual will, is the nationalization of industry and all of the characters surrendering all of their time and money to the government.
...seems a bit...counter-intuitive...
Oh, and the killer robot sketch at the start kills me every time.
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44:25 - I like to think that there's a blooper reel out there of the actors laughing hysterically as that kid sweeps into the bar, shouts his line, and promptly leaves. I can't watch that part with a straight face.
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44:25 A BIG LIPPED ALLIGATOR MOMENT!!!!
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Man, the first version of Red Dawn was weird.