605 - Colossus and the Headhunters
| Full Episode: | |
| Best of: | |
| Original Movie: |
Comments (85) Best Riffs (295)
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the 
above.
or
"it's time you realized you have no other choice but to DO WHAT I WANT!"
Please?
They shouldn't'a put those holes everywhere--they wouldn't be falling in all willy-nilly.
I can't believe the Lions and the Jay Cees reserved the SAME picnic area...
Judging by their colorful fabrics, they have a bustling garment district.
So, you got the old man?
I thought you had the old man!
D'oh!
Ah, the all-encompassing movie judo chop.
"That's why you and I will rule together, with me as... (DUN DUN DUN) Your advisor!" ... Huh?
(Fighters fall off the bridge!) Oh no! It's a horrible plunge... (They splash safely into the river a foot below) ... Oh.
"I have a strange premonition." I knew she was going to say that!
"Wait! You can't go!" *sigh* Okay. Let's love.
"Tell me, what am I supposed to do to save your tribe?" WAKKA TCHIKA WAKKA TCHIKA...
Louisicus, this could be the start of a beautiful friendshipicus.
Louisicus, this could be the start of a beautiful friendshipicus.
My people thank you.
They can keep their thanks till we reach safety. Then they'll get my bill.
"I must admit I regret putting out your eyes”...Oh, water under the bridge!
(crowd behind blind king during speech) - "Uh, your majesty, we're back here; yoo-hooo!"
"Never in my life have I hated anyone like I hate him." -- You're in love. You're in LOVE.
[Mike] It’s not a plot point...it’s not an action sequence...so what is it?
This... *blgh* is easy, *ugh* hold on... Comedy is hard. Either these curtains go or I do.
Lepers were like computers back then; people were scared of them.
"I know... it's impossible..." To stick a Cadillac up your nose...
Crow: A less conspicuous hat would have helped!
Mike: Well, they weren't very good at camouflage yet.
Hadn't worked out all the kinks of that tanning booth system, yet!
"Hey, you guys should relax, you're TWO TENTS! AHAHAHAHAHA! HAHAAhahhaa.. ahaha... sorry..."
You'd think they'd be repeating themselves now. But no, they've come up with fresh moves.
And the Greeks return to the river of their birth to spawn...
*Crow sobbing*
Mike: Crow?
Crow: I can't help it, I just love weddings.
Look, I'm gonna be your love interest whether you like it or not!
You know, without walking, there wouldn't be much of a movie here.
I want to speak to Julie, our cruise director.
“We’ve come to rescue you. Where are you?” Well I was getting some amontillado and ah…
They're going to invent the Catholic Church just so they can annul this wedding.
Cheesesteak will be back in David Brenner's 'Soft Pretzels and Mustard'!
Kinda like the final day of WE-FEST. (Shout out for my hometown, woot!)
"Miss Manners says the father of the bride should wear beige and keep his eyes closed."
There's no one around for miles and he's still self-conscious about tinkling.
"A steel piñata? That could take hours!"
"He's like Art Garfunkel walkin' around the world!"
"This tribe lives in a gravel pit outside Spooner."
"They're being forced to join The Rainbow Gathering!"
"Ugh! Medical waste! We're in Trenton!"
"Their island is turning to stock footage from World War II."
"This movie is like a storm raging inside you."
"That guy looks like a cross between Spock and Bones!"
"Dammit, Me!"
And now for the traditional viewing of 'Berlin Alexanderplatz."
Um.. ahem, Colossus, I've been elected by everyone else to ask you what the HELL you're doing..
Colossus and the Headhunters: the struggles of a Greek immigrant in a tough job market!
"And three quarters of the way thru the movie and COLOSSUS finally does somethng..."
Caligula in "The Life and Times of Grizzly Adams".
Then what happened?
Report
**MST3K FAN EXCLUSIVE** 30 Year Anniversary NEW Fan Based Show Opening. This is a version NEVER seen on TV. I encourage you to watch it to the very end. 2:34, the real hardcore MSTIES should appreciate it. Do hope everyone will. What episode is the final clip from? ENJOY....
https://youtu.be/IDu4AgDp_bM
1 reply
Report
I think Puma Man could take Collossus
Report
not the best riffs, but with what they had to work with, i'd say they had their work cut out for them, cuz boy was this film bad.
1 reply
Report
This is an underappreciated sword and sandal gem in my mind....only a 166 laughs??? Not only because of TVs Frank's adorable Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter song, which is "tre fantasique" but the superb riffing... nearly fell out of bed at the "lawn-moa" gag hahahaha
Report
"The Greeks return to the river of their birth to spawn."
4 replies
Report
So...I'm just thinking about this. The robots are susceptible to mental breakdowns, to being sung to sleep, to being taken over by pods, to becoming poseurs. Mike is resistant to all that, but he succumbs to NMCB. So...what is the difference?
Report
Is NummyMuffinCoocolButter just Tibby doing cosplay?
6 replies
Report
who'd win? Cheesesteak or toblerone?
Report
But I need more coppertone
Report
I love Crow's Rowan Atkinson impression - "Oh, damn!" - spot on.
Report
Macheesesteak!!! :)
Report
pre-San Fran Intl. Airport ep riff of David Brenner @ the end of the movie!!
1 reply
Report
@1:10:08 That is in fact Frank (Andre the Giant and Michael Caine's baby) from Danger! Death Ray. His name is Nello Pazzafini and the character he plays here is named Gunk.
1 reply
Report
@ 1:20:14 the guy actually loses some of his bridgework!
Report
I didn't see any food or water when Colossus dud saved those people. Wonder why the number of people on the raft kept going down .....
3 replies
Report
Just watched this last night, and I can't help wondering... just who the hell was responsible for casting the parts in this turkey? Who was responsible for picking out the guy to play "Colossus"? F'cripesake, just look at the guy -- he's not any taller than any other character, he doesn't even have a cool beard, and they expect the audience to think of this guy as a Colossus? This standard-issue gym rat? Are they shittin' us, man? D'ahh ha ha ha ha ha hah.
Of course, mind you, this massive casting FAIL makes this episode even more enjoyable.
2 replies
Report
there's a movie that RIFFTRAX does,"Sons of Hercules", that i think has Cheesesteak in it
Report
Lessons to remember (1) if given choice between bright cloth or animal skins for clothes always go colorfull cloth (2) Don't live on a Volcanic Island made of Styrofoam (3) Cheesesteak and Richard Basehart is good .....
3 replies
Report
At 1:10:09 is that the ribbit guy from Danger Death Ray?
2 replies
Report
Nummy Muffin aside, this is a freaking great episode. Loads of great riffs and then... the worst dance ever filmed!!!
Report
Dang now I want a Philly cheese steak !
Report
is it just me, or does this KINDA reflect/remind-you-of ROBIN HOOD PRINCE OF THIEVES.....kinda....
Report
what about having to appease the gods by honoring the ancient ritual of the traditional pre-fight donut??
(TMNT II reference)
3 replies
Report
that the NMCB sketch line is one of the worst in the show's entire run? Painful to me and one of the few episodes where I so dislike the host segments I...
I....
I FF through them.
Report
No one pushed the button. Is this the only time that happens while Frank is around?
Report
♫ With My Cheesesteak I will stop ♫ (tick, tick, tick) ♫ the world... ♫
2 replies
Report
People keep dying but the numbers never drop!
2 replies
Report
"Watch out for snakes!" from the Joel-era EEGAH episode. Longest mst running gag nominee.
"No, no. Myth, MYTH."
"Yes?"
1 reply
Report
The director must have something against pants... maybe he has vestiphobia: http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Vestiphobia
3 replies
Report
Arrow injuries to the chest apparently aren't that big of a deal
Report
The opening scene looks like Night of the Living Dead Eegahs.
1 reply
Report
Franks tantrum... haha...
Report
As our island erupted, we fled
And crashed a queen's wedding instead.
Endless dancing and fighting
Makes this peplum exciting.
My cheese steak! My bronzed look! My head!
Report
34:30 !!!
Report
I want to see these host segments remade as - Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter- DESTROYER OF WORLDS ! ! !
2 replies
Report
HILARIOUS!!! Any MST3K movie with battle scenes is going to be a winner and the battle scenes in this are hysterical! (especially when "Colossus" is almost always conveniently nowhere around during the battles)
5 replies
Report
@ 00:24:00, Frank is standing in front of a window with stars, how is that possible if you are deep inside the earth? *g*
2 replies
Report
There's something about MST3K and strange, extended dance sequences... Also it seems the tribe could have taken those headhunters any time. Was there any "plot" to discourage that notion?
6 replies
Report
I wonder if Frank still has Nummy Muffin Cocoa Butter as a pet lol. His head is probably hung over his mantle lol. How apropriate that would be seeing that the movie was Colossus and the "HEAD"hunters lol. Trivia time: ever wonder why the film's called Colossus and the Headhunters and the dude's kept being called mycheesesteak? Simple, it's a case of the left hand not knowing what the right hand was doing. It's an Italian movie originally called macheesteak and the headhunters(named after an italian mythological figure) and when it was put into english for the American viewing public they never changed his name on the script to Colossus(for the American viewer) and the voice-over people never caught it and kept saying mycheesesteak! Sux since they spent alotta money on the main title huh :-)
2 replies
Report
A Wahoo McDaniels reference in this movie.To those that don't know Wahoo McDaniels he was pro wrestler and pro football player in the then AFL Miami Dolphins in the late 1960s
1 reply
Report
♫ Nummy, Nummy, Nummy I got cocoa butter in my tummy ♫
8 replies
Report
As much as I'm against the exploitation of women as sex symbols, it is much much MUCH better to see scantily-clad women than men. This movie has exposed me to more man-thighs than I ever needed to see...
3 replies
Report
If I ever get a dog, I know what its name will be! (Nummymuffincocoabutter!) Or maybe my firstborn....
Report
Amazingly, Nummy Muffin Coocol Butter stuff only takes up about 8 & a half minutes of this episode- yet it feels like a lifetime!
1 reply
Report
i bet we all wish we had our eyeballs plucked out like the lucky king during the "dance to the gods "
1 reply
Report
Well .. Ma-Cheese-Steak maybe as dumb as a rock .. but ooph! .. What-a-body!!! Wouldn't kick him outta bed for eating cookies. Come-on camera guy .. caress that oiled body with your lens ... work it, WORK IT!!!!
Report
7:12 Kramer!
Report
i caught you, you bitch...!
Report
"oh don't get me down or anything, it's not like I'm being defiled..."
poor Sir Paul
Report
welcome to buffalo shot, the movie, part deux
Report
23:12 Tv's Frank Sinatra
Report
Frank is the singing polar opposite of Tom Servo, but I think Frank would win in an arm wrestling contest.
Report
i'd think this would be more action'y....
but i then realize this IS being riff'ed, so my expectations are automatically set to "No, don't bother, it'll just end up leading to tears..."
Report
The second link doesnt have that annoying buzzing noise the whole time!
Report
~37:20 I think that's Nello Pazzafini, who you might recognize from 'Danger!! Death Ray' (credited Ted Carter) wherein he played "Frank" (I guess?), the bespectacled machine-gunner who steals the eponymous death ray...
Report
Frank's tantrum as Dr. F is trying to tell Mike about his movie always cracks me up. I've seen SO MANY toddlers do precisely what Frank is doing. He captures it perfectly.
2 replies
Report
IT'S MICHAEL CAINE AND ANDRE THE GIANT'S CHILD AGAIN!
1 reply
Report
So "Colossus", who isn't actually... well, colossus, stops King Kermit the Ringo Starr look alike, from taking over Elbonia, the land of mud (see Dilbert). Riveting, really. Thank goodness the riffs were legedary!
2 replies
Report
Is this... Is this a ripoff of the Hercules brand? *head explodes.*
Report
The fight scenes in this movie remind me of when I go to the park and the renaissance festival people have taken over a baseball field for "training."
Report
I'm not your cheesesteak!
Report
then what happened?
Report
Hi Ho! Kermie's here!!
Dammit Me!!
aaahhhh.... Servo
2 replies
Report
The beginning of this movie is actually the end of "Fire Monster Against the Son of Hercules," hence the cavemen turning into ancient Greeks between scenes. Confused the heck out of me the first time I saw it.
1 reply
Report
I've always loved the way "Colossus" just kind of strolls onto the scene, casually, to save everyone. No reason to lose your cool just because the whole bloody island is sinking in a ball of lava and flame!
1 reply
Report
They sure found the bottom of the costume barrel for this movie
1 reply
Report
To quote Nummy Muffin Coolcol Butter being put in the basket: "Ouch!"
That, the close-up of the sick pooch, Frank's tantrum and the noises Tom adds to the guy blowing on the ram horn during the chicken dance are what made me laugh the most.
1 reply
Report
1:16:55 First things first, before the battle it’s time to waste considerable energy to knock over a tower for no reason whatsoever.
1 reply
Report
Original title: My Cheese-steak and Egg
Report
1:06:40 Yeah, quit wasting the time of the immortal and eternal gods!
Report
Huh, so Frank is empathically linked with a fuzzy slipper.
Report
"There's implied death everywhere." - My kind of movie; I gave it a laugh.
Report
Oh, dear gaaahhhhddddddd, that liturgical wedding dance is killin' me, man.
Report
well that got out of hand quick.
Report
That dance really will anger the gods
Report
Okay, that one riff at 18:50 had me in stitches, with the lion. "Let's see, do I sleep tonight, or not...or?" Over so fast you don't realize it's there, but great if you catch it.
Report
Ick…my cheesesteak was quite bland.
Report
This is still gone? Come back Nummy Muffin Coocal Butter!
Report
This also has been DMCA'd, commenting to note myself.
Report
Crow's sob at 40:28 still gets me EVERY TIME! The way he just jolts forward, crying. hahahaha
Report
I thought Frank's song was fantastic.
It was fantastic.
"I repaired your nipple."
Report
Numby-muffin-coo-coo-butter....... WHY does Richard Gere come to mind ??
Report
A steel piniata? That could take hours!
Report
Wow, "Colossus And The Headhunters". Too bad I'm not a musician; that could be the name of my Kingsmen cover band.
Report
Mah cheesesteak!!!