608 - Code Name Diamond Head
| Full Episode: | |
| Short - A Day at the Fair: | |
| Original Movie: |
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Eps:
323,
611,
608,
210
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Comments (84) Best Riffs (250)
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"Very bad dudes." - "Where are they now?" - "Staying with Mom."
Yeah hi, this is Quinn Martin. We're not going to series.
"Well, apparently the general has his *own* little agenda today."
"You can't have Van Dycks in the Navy!"
"Well, it's the slacker Navy."
And those of you who would like to be keelhauled go to the right, and those of you to be pinswiggled please make your way to the left...
I better get to the Banana Splits audition.
The Kentucky Cycle has more Hawaiian locations.
"Oh that was terrible, just terrible."
Sorry, corned beef.
There's a lot of money here, Mitchell!
A girl takes first prize in the cow competition; the cows are furious!
Bob and Johnny are putting the finishing touches on their calves.
Adding Hooker Headers and decals!
"Let's go eat something grey."
I don't know why, but that killed me.
"Whoa, big Johnson!"
"It's a Mercury."
"Big Mercury, then."
We're on the brink of two people actually interacting for the first time in this movie!
Boy, it's tough when Barnaby Jones out-actions you.
Dear bartender, I like you. Do you like me? Check one.
Is this a bar where nobody knows your name?
Well, we finally got that horrible painting off the ceiling. You know the Angelos were here, and they love that sort of thing. But there's this lovely natural brick underneath...
"Now the day's work is over, and it's time for fun." So they leave the fair.
"Now the judge is picking out the champion of them all."
Ah am The Greatest!
"The judge wants to see Johnny's calf in the open."
He realizes he had not known cow until this day!
"Now the boys take their calves to the arena, where the show is beginning."
First, it's the evening gown competition.
We have some tape of the calves playing on the beach earlier this week...
Come on, you chunk of dog food! I've got a year's allowance on you!
"These bass would make great fishing. If only they were in the creek back home..." Well, see, they were in the creek. But then they were caught. That's why they're here.
You want bangs this time, honey? Let's go with bangs. Bangs are so nithe.
Taking a Greyhoud to Hawaii wasn't such a good idea...
Look at this wonderful pepper mill I have here! There's a story behind it: I went over the hills into Soviet Georgia and I got it from a little old woman with a club foot, we talked and we laughedโฆ.
"How was your date with Madonna?"
"Action Kenโข doll is there!"
"Then your class ring is buffed, and polished."
"Paragon Cable! Just here to drill through your hardwood floors."
"Look, just take your last paycheck. I'm sorry, but you ate out of the bus tub."
"The World of Suzie Wong: CPA."
"And the crowd goes wild."
"Yaaayy."
"He feels a stirring."
"Scientists aren't sure what this represents."
[snort] [snort] [snort] โฌ โญ "A sprinkle a day... Keeps odor away..." โญ โฌ
I'll just call her and find out what the whole ring/wax thing means.
"Too soon, the rides are over." The lawsuits begin.
A wheel slices into the crowd, killing three!
"What's this?" Evil! "Homemade cakes." Oh.
Looks like he's got about... ohh... fifteen cents in his pocket, there...
"Anything to declare?" I declare my genius.
Ward, dear, will you see what little Elvis is up to?
'The Eiger Sanction' had more Hawaiian locations than this!
โชโซHere we are now, Entertain us! I feel stupid, And contagious!โชโซ
"Code Two: Tree may be in Paradise." "the hell does that mean? over..."
Somebody told me I had the personality of one of these so I'm curious.
This is a job for Regular Guy!
" British, Irish, Australian..." - French, Italian, Poppy Seed, Hot Ranch.
You and your chaperone will travel to what is apparently Hawaii!
"First she feels the cake."
Then she rubs it into her hair!
This the fairground, where the fair is held. "Any questions so far?"
He's wearing Mary Tyler-Moore's pantsuit!
"Judging cakes ought to be fun." But this woman sucks the joy out of it.
Let me guess. The last words in this movie are gonna be 'Ah-ha ha-ha ha...ha!'
"He knows who I am, and he knows who you are." And he knows who he is.
"Brother Bob is interested in the butterfly exhibit." Too interested.
"THE COAST GUARD,for men who are to chicken to join the NAVY..."
"Well it's been nice bein' here in downtown FARGO, but I should be getting back to HAWAII..."
TONIGHT!!! One of these three contestants will find out WHERE THEY'VE SEEN THIS GUY!!!
Oh! This looks like a good place to put up a roadside poison gas stand, don't ya think?
That's either the world's worst haircut or the world's worst wig.
I'm ODing on intrigue!
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My favorite part of this experiment is the low-key humming of the theme song throughout.
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Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank have always been disturbingly close but when Frank says "I see a disgusting worm on you!" that just goes to a whole different level.
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So, why do the bad guys steal the Colonel's glasses, instead of Ian just getting his own pair? How does Ian McShane see while he's wearing someone else's prescription glasses?
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So... the state fair short is supposed to make you want to... go to the fair? We've got farm animals! And a guy in a cage who judges corn! And you can see jars of pickled vegetables that are almost as good as what you can make at home! And take a look at which lamps and chairs the kids at camp chose to put together! If you're lucky, you can catch them standing on the back of a truck when the marching band goes by!
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Is boy scout Mike what a Canadian drill Instructor woudl be like?
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Mean boy scout troop leader Mike is hilarious!
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Is it just me, or is there something deeply poignant about any pilot for an intended TV series that never happened?
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I don't think that in this nor in the General Hospital shorts do they make a single 'The Invaders' reference.
Weird!
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This movie has a faint, soggy, rotting, melting, industrial grandma smell.
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Dr Sherman is the same guy Scotty showed the formula for transparent aluminum to in Star Trek IV: Planet of the 80's. http://www.scifihistory.net/uploads/3/0/6/7/30676431/8846347_orig.jpg
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Did anyone else notice the asian lady is the same from the star trek episode where Kirk touches her tears and becomes her slave?....oh and buddy with the mustache was on young and restless lol.
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https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1977%E2%80%9378_United_States_network_television_schedule
So, during the movie, Mike says, "At this point, everyone had changed over to Carter Country." This movie aired on Tuesday, May 3, 1977, on NBC. Guess what was airing on ABC a half hour into this film... Carter Country.
You're my hero, Mike!
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I finally figured out where the guy was from who the bots were trying to figure out. He's the guy who plays Victor Neuman in Young and the Restless.
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"So why do they call him Diamond Head?"
"Because he's the hardest-headed sonuvabitch I ever had to work with."
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New Cinema Edition of, "Code Name: Diamond Head" now playing...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tpNvQjmatZg
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@ 23:00 -- Holy Exposition, Batman!
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oh my god, please no, i remember the mmmmmmmmmmm song by the crash test dummies when it came out when i was a kid, it was ok at first, and then....well, then it wasn't., do you know how long it took to get that bloody thing out my head??? too long, but i did it.....until this episode, and now it's back, with a vengeance.
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At 10:19, Tom perfectly and eerily predicts a scene from 2001's Moulin Rouge. Was this always floating around in the collective imagination, marching corps performing "Smells Like Teen Spirit"?
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This episode is great, if for the nothing else, the groovy 70's action soundtrack. Sure takes me back.
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if you think this island-based Secret Agent movie eats...
watch RIFFTRAX do Wonder Women....
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(@ 16:24) Hey, that's no priest! That's Lovejoy!!
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Classic MST3K moment... Mike mentions how our hero looks like Simon LeBon, which was obviously a spur-of-the-moment quip, based on Crow's reaction, and then Mike's reaction to Crow's reaction. Fantastic.
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The cloth of gold is a real species of shellfish. It's related to the geographer's cone snail. Both species' venom really can kill humans and there's no antidote.
Just in case you were wondering. :)
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I watched this movie before bed last night and woke up this morning to see that Ian McShane had been cast in the American Gods series. I thought to myself "Surely not the same one in this turkey.", but nope. THIS guy will be playing Odin.
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I love the Wild Rebels cereal box in the pile of trash in the opening sketch!!
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I can't get that stupid music out of my head! And, uh, is the "Hawaiian Punch" in the closing segment a can of pie filling?
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during the short:
LISTEN TO THE BAND!!!
(great Mike Nesmith song)
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I guess I am odd man out, I actually liked the movie> MST was the icing in the cake! When else do you see David Vincent fight Lovejoy?
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Actually all of it is shot on Oahu, one of industrial shots is Sand Island...there's good, bad and ugly everywhere. Swearengine back before Deadwood.
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Given this movie it's Amazing Ian McShane has the career he does today.
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The 'He who smelt it, dealt it' line in the first host segment brought me right back to grade school. Somehow, hearing it from Mike and the 'Bots is much more entertaining.
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A spy in the guise of a yahoo
Tries to hold back bad gas in Oahu.
Perhaps he can win
The heart of Fan-Fan Nguyen
But I've run out of rhymes for "Oahu."
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"It's the man in the hat exhibit."
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Why doesn't Diamond Head get help from T.C. or Rick?
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Hey, wait a second. Mike and the bots have the same roast pig in the final host segment that Dr. F. made for his mother last week!
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"Pity we don't have an apple to put in his mouth." It doesn't really seem like a comeuppance if you're echoing a fat joke back to a guy who isn't fat.
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http://www.shoutfactorytv.com/mystery-science-theater-3000/mst3k-code-name-diamond-head/54bd4f7a69702d070c4c6400 - it's streaming on Shout Factory right now
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I still love bad spy movies, but whew... this one was bad!
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Mike, 'Bots... don't be so insecure. Our eyes may wander to shirtless villains now and again, but we always come back to you. ;)
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The implication at the end that Frank can walk off being electrocuted down to just a skeleton much better than Dr. Forrester can is quite fitting, don't you think?
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I just noticed that the brushes Frank and Dr. F. are using to clean themselves at the end are actually the big push brooms that you screw onto a handle. You can even see the holes. :)
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"A Day at the Fair" might very well be my favorite short! There are more laugh-out-loud moments here than any other that leap to mind. I was literally bent over laughing uncontrollably during the cow contest part.
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A Kentucky Cycle reference? Nothing is obscure to MST3K
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I think farming can explain why Father is eighty-five.
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Even for this show, there's a LOT of Minnesota references in this one.
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It's ridiculous how obvious the agents are when they're following someone. Zulu is about as subtle as a kid crying in a crowd.
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HOLD EVERYTHING! Is the farmer in the short also the Frog Leg Cafe owner in Red Zone Cuba!?
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I'm impressed that the Lovejoy TV series was shown in USA ... I remember this show from years back (when living in UK) :P It seems surprising that a british TV show like this went international. Cool though huh!
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Why does this make me want to be in a made-for-tv movie? What's... happening... to..... me...???
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I used to live in Hawaii. You may not believe it, but this kind of thing happened every week.
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Also, they missed a good opportunity for a Sun Ra reference at 14:30 or so: "Up! Up! Up in the air!" (That's almost exactly a line from the song called "Rocket Number 9", so it's not like there's any shortage of Sun Ra references on the show, but still)
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This is one of those things where the director has only the vaguest idea what a "plot" is, but decides if he strings together a bunch of random happenstance and dumb code names it should be good enough.
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uh...let's see....uh Sharon Wilkerson, Debbie Johnson, 'kay go right in ladies...!
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"Rotting Industrial Grandma" would be a great name for a death metal band.
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CORRECTION!!!! I just looked it up, HANS GUDEGAST was the Rat Patrol mustached guys real name, and he played a German desert commander named Hans Dietrich....too many Hans' lol
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Although Mike pointed it out at the wrong place in the end credits, this WAS filmed entirely on location in Hawaii! Unlike Hawaii 5-O or Magnum PI, it showed the real place, not just swanky hotels, clubs and beaches. Victor Newman had about 4 lines; he looked like a svelt Tom Selleck to me.
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Could someone PLEASE explain what a Montclaire moment is!
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I kept getting distracted with the villain that I swear was Timothy Dalton's doppleganger. At any moment I expected a shaken not stirred exclamation.
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I laughed WAY too much at "How much is a four worth? you know?"
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Frank and Dr. F...YeOUCH! Soap in the eyes...!
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it's Blackbeard from Pirates of the Caribbean
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25:23 it's the priest from Harold and Maude-
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Great MST3K episode, bad made for tv movie lol. Love the 70's. Trivia time: Just so you know,Lovejoy was a bad tv series where Ian McShane ala Lovejoy aka Codename Tree (great codename btw lol) played a cop or P.I. or sumthin'. Series lasted a few yrs. believe it or not! The big tubby Hawiiaan dude is ZULU aka the original KONO from Hawaii 5-O, and NOO Grace Park is not the original KONO.She just likes playing guy parts like in the re-make of Battlestar Galactica she played BOOMER (another guy part, black guys part actually).The hott chinese lady Frances Nugyen or whateva was on the original Star Trek as "Elaan Of Troyus" aka the princess chick whose tears made you love her if you touched them. Roy Thinnes aka Diamond-Head also was on Battlestar Galactica for 5 seconds as a crimminal/demolitions expert on that "ice Station" eipsode. Ward Costello aka the fat old man who was Codename Aunt Martha or sumthin' lol was Admiral Quinn from STTNG season ONE. He kicked Riker's ass into a coffee table while possessed by those throat parasites! And last but not least Eric Braeden aka That Mustached-Guy, aka The "Rat Patrol" Guy and like someone else mentioned The Young & Restless Soap Opera star Victor Newman, but did you know his real name was actually Hans Gruber or sumthin' like that! Maybe I'm thinking of the original "Die-Hard" movie but I know his name was originally Hans sumthin' like that! He changed it after The Rat Patrol show went off the air I guess because it/HE sounded TOO German but then again he did play a German desert commander on the show soo? That woulda been weird having a guy named Hans playing a wealthy cosmetics CEO on Y&R huh lol. Well thats all for me, until then Zig Heil, I mean toodles :-D
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I know a thing or two about a thing or two!
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1:27:38 Teets! Dick! For the twelve-year-olds among us. 8>]
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The Crash Test Dummies skit ! ! !
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Frank and Dr. F. and their OCD trip - Clayton looks very different without his glasses... I like the way they fly out of his wash tub during his mad frenzy to de-germ himself. Almost as funny as the pop can stuck in Crow's eye.
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I love this episode so much! There's so many things for me in this. Servo singing Nirvana, Victor Newman from Young and the Restless lol...it goes on and on.
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Me, one minute into the movie: "Gee, that guy looks a lot like Ian McShane!"
Movie, four seconds later: "With guest stars Ian McShane..."
What? How can this be?
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So I'm sitting here drinking my morning coffee. Get a big mouthful and suddenly Tom pipes in with "Women are excited at seeing the word 'member'." Bam! Coffee everywhere. I gotta stop drinking while watching these...
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Ha-ha... Hitler didn't die in a car.
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at 44:37, did tom call magic voice a sh*thead?
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"A tribute to careful shaving"! Hah!
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What was that guy in? Young and the Restless! Eric Braeden had been playing That Mustache (aka Victor) for about 15 years when this episode aired.
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this film had a definite 'Riding With Death' vibe, I kept wanting to shout 'leave Robert Denby alone!'
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Bad "movie!" Bad, bad "movie!" You deserve to be spanked! Ack!!!!!!!!!!!!! I lost a few brain cells trying to follow that little plot there. Good thing I had anatomy homework to help distract me, and rebuild the dendrites!
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Don't know where I've seen that guy but he kind of reminds me of Daniel Day-Lewis in Gangs of New York.
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15:00 I prefer ghost-riding the whip.
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Ok, I was prepared to just say "Ian McShame on you" and leave it at that, but then the unabashed lameness of that last scene nearly decapitated me! I think the director just made it up at lunch! And none of them seemed the least bit worried about security for the Korean Ambassador!
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A very good underrated episode. 70's made for TV movie that is perfect for MST.
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This is still gone? Come on!
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This is also DMCA'd
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26:05 If you've ever wondered what This Boy's Life would have been like if it had been rated PG and Robert De Niro's character had been played by William H. Macy-- wonder no more!
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Brad Roberts! That voice! It hurts!!