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624 - Samson Vs The Vampire Women



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254 laughs

Comments (81) Best Riffs (238)

suzy lux - about 4 years ago
4 laughs

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ok two eyeliner jokes, do better guys. you have a b movie rife with female vampires who are searching for a new young queen to (seduce) There are literally a million lezbionic buttons you could be pushing here ;p

/vampyres


Jeffrey Jones - over 1 year ago
3 laughs

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I can't believe this is this first time I've watched this in its entirety! Amazing. Now one of my favorites. This leaves Eegah! and Robot Holocaust as the only two that I just can't seem to "do."


Charles D. Mercury II - 10 months ago
6 laughs

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I really like this episode. However, I can't explain why because, you see, I'm just not sure yet. I'm at a loss! Should you decide to agree with me about this episode, fine. If not, then leave me alone.


Elisa Farrington - about 4 years ago
3 laughs

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KABOOM! - Just in case there is some young whipper-snapper that was deprived of the Three Stooges, here is a clip of Curly at his best: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sN1eNKGbbXY -one of several sketches they did that are the inspiration for the clam soup host segment.


Eulalia Vox - about 4 years ago
8 laughs

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I have to say, I legitimately teared up during Forrester's realization Frank was gone and during "Who Am I Going to Kill". What is happening to me?


Linda Televangelista - almost 4 years ago
7 laughs

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The lead vampiress looks like Kim Kardashian minus the booty.


Brad Filippone - 7 months ago
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"Making the beast with two backs" (1:02:12) is actually from Shakespeare's "Othello," Act One, scene one.


3 laughs

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Who knew Kim Kardashian was Queen of the Damned? You really do learn something new every day.


Peter Trinidad Niederbrach - over 5 years ago
8 laughs

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"I wonder if there are vegetarian Vampires..." ...Oh no, a precursor to Twilight! NO!


Jason Edwards - about 1 year ago
2 laughs

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The best part is when she tells the snake to go play with his ball.


Continuity!
Rosebud - about 1 year ago
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So how old is she supposed to be? 25 or 21? There are two versions of the ancient prophesy I guess.


Stereo Catz - about 1 year ago
2 laughs

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Wow, Google is celebrating El Santo's 99th birthday today. (9/23/16)


Zeitgeist Meister - about 1 year ago
2 laughs

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Love Crow's Phyllis Diller


S.A. Nathe - over 1 year ago
0 laughs

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Capital Critters riff!!! I still have a BK kids meal toy from waaaaay back


S.A. Nathe - over 1 year ago
1 laugh

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great 3 STOOGES bit with the chinese food


S.A. Nathe - over 1 year ago
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Bad El Santo!!


Xterra's a midnight flyer - almost 3 years ago
5 laughs

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"Who Will I Kill?" is probably the saddest thing in MST3K history this side of the credits of experiment 1013.


Teri Gee - almost 3 years ago
2 laughs

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So...I guess Frank gave up on the whole vegetarian thing? He certainly had a lot of chicken.


Deven Yeager - over 1 year ago
2 laughs

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"Hey it looks like Cher!!"
It really does lol


Matthew Boyle - over 2 years ago
2 laughs

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I gotta say it must rock to be satan. Undead babes who have to spend their whole lives appeasing you and it doesn't matter if they fail because you can always get more. Why would anyone stick with god? Unless that 72 virgins thing is true.


Stereo Catz - almost 2 years ago
3 laughs

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Kato? He became a WAY bigger star than Van Williams.

Then he died.


jason argo - almost 2 years ago
8 laughs

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10 minutes in, and between Frank's table manners, crumbly vampire women, and spit take inducing riffs, this might not have been the best choice for dinner theatre.


Snuffy Wuffykiss - about 2 years ago
6 laughs

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Shape-shifting Undead besmirch the honor and tradition of masked Mexican Wrestling.


Matthew Boyle - over 2 years ago
1 laugh

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A...B...White pines? The hell? What was he saying AB for? Plus Egyptian hieroglyphs are a syllabary so each symbol represents a consonant and a vowel not just a letter.


Not Logical
Mitchell - over 2 years ago
6 laughs

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OK, maybe drinking blood could make the vampire women look young and beautiful but why would it change their outfits?
Other than that, this film is perfect.


Matthew Boyle - over 2 years ago
3 laughs

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Hey is she the queen or the mistress of the night? She can't be both! If she's married to the night king then she can't be his extra marital mistress.


Tom Nathe - over 4 years ago
3 laughs

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Surprised no one has caught to downward moving sunrise at the end.


Mike Carmona - over 4 years ago
5 laughs

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When I first saw this episode, I was half-expecting it to be a blacksploitation film, filled to the teeth with Wakachu-wak. But this? This is--no!


Yong Rubenfeld - about 3 years ago
8 laughs

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Lol Torgo the White


Lashunda Johnson - about 6 years ago
7 laughs

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Santo Rules!!!


Fredrick Stafford - almost 5 years ago
16 laughs

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No one will ever push a button like TV’s Frank.


This one suprised me
Diane - aka Starbreeze - about 3 years ago
2 laughs

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I wish I could give this episode more than just one laugh!


Leslie Doesn't Get You - almost 5 years ago
13 laughs

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This is a funny episode but it makes me sad. I don't understand why Frank left the show. It was just never the same without him. I love TV's Frank!


Emily Nelson - almost 4 years ago
7 laughs

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1:13:00: Um....WHY is his face all furry? Is this a part of the vampire mythos I missed?


Robert Brown - over 3 years ago
14 laughs

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This ep should have 500 laughs. The gang always brought game to the goodbye eps.

Ah, TV's Frank, we hardly knew ye. We share so much: a fear of halogen, distinctive coiffure, freak-flag waving tendencies...the show was not the same without you. Let me be Frank: truly you were the greatest Frank of all.

Yuckkll...eeee!


Emily Nelson - almost 4 years ago
4 laughs

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So, this Rebeca chick was around in 1761, when language was not so different from its modern usage, so that you could certainly read and understand something written 200 years ago. So what the HELL are all those weird hieroglyphs!?


Rosebud - over 3 years ago
3 laughs

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A couple things here. First of all, I've been re-watching these episodes for several years, and...I NEVER SAW THIS ONE! How is that possible? The transition episodes are always my favorite, too. They get me teared up every time. So all these years, I wondered what happened to Frank... Another thing...kinda slow episode until 45:45 and then POW! It's so funny that no riff is necessary!


Phil Bunty - about 3 years ago
4 laughs

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Free TV's Frank!!


Iris - over 5 years ago
12 laughs

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Goodbye Frank!


6 laughs

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What the hell happened in this movie??

The vampires won. They won! They got who they were after, they neutralized the hero who, incidentally, didn't do much of anything during the course of the story, and then... they all stand around and wait to die. They weren't even trying to do anything at the end. Why didn't they just leave the wrestler in his cage? Did they all just forget the sun eventually rises? Countess Second-Banana just stands there for what seemed like five solid minutes, staring at the window as if she couldn't comprehend its divine form.

Who the hell wrote this? Was this sequence of events actually in the screenplay, or did it just say, "And then they all die for some reason, why not?" Seriously, did I miss something? This bad movie is actually making me question my own grip on reality.


Emily Nelson - almost 4 years ago
5 laughs

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29:00: But...you can't see vampires in mirrors....I see she's ugly again, so can you only see their ugliness in mirrors? WTF?


Impersonation
Donald Petkus - over 3 years ago
2 laughs

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At about 26.00, someone on the SOL crew does a terrific impersonation of the professor .


3 laughs

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Link one is down. Apparently even El Santo couldn't suplex the DCMA Nazis...
Good news is that so far it seems this is only happening to the videos hosted on Youtube. All the other hosting providers haven't been hit yet.


Photography
Donald Petkus - over 3 years ago
5 laughs

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For a low budget film, the shots where the ugly vampires transform into beauties are well handled.


Rosebud - over 3 years ago
4 laughs

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I thought of something else. I think the guy dubbing the Professor was just making up his lines instead of translating. That's the only way to explain his bizarre lines. Sort of like Woody Allen's "What's Up Tiger Lilly" or "Blobbermouth"


Joey Thomas Mackie - over 3 years ago
6 laughs

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Any internal injuries Doctor,...No I'm fine.


Ginger Fitts - almost 4 years ago
11 laughs

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Still better than the Twilight series.


Crypto Dentist - over 4 years ago
10 laughs

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Hey, now wait a minute, half an hour in she catches sight of a vampire in her mirror. Vampires don't have reflections.


Stephen A Nathe - over 3 years ago
4 laughs

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Now THATS an idea...!
Put the cheese INSIDE the cracker!!


Stephen A Nathe - over 3 years ago
1 laugh

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VIVA LA RAZA!!!


the puppet hater's club - almost 4 years ago
8 laughs

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oh no, those bitchy vampires, Debra and Jennifer , are here


RevJoan - about 4 years ago
10 laughs

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Hey! -one of them thar vampire ladies looks a little like that Kardashian gal


Stereo Catz - over 4 years ago
7 laughs

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Gotta Love the boldness to do LOTR references in a time when probably less than 5% of the world understood them. Thanks Peter Jackson!


Barry Buchanan - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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Don't know if they had the mics turned up or just the absurdness of this film, but it seems like the 'bots and Mike are snickering at their own jokes more than usual.


MyMyMSTie - about 4 years ago
6 laughs

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Crows laugh @ 45.52 kills me every time!!


suzy lux - about 4 years ago
1 laugh

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the mark on the left shoulder thing reminded me of rosemary's baby *shiver*


Bruce Box-Liker - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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Isn't having a mark shaped unmistakably like a vampire like having a mark that's shaped unmistakably like an asthmatic telecommuter?


A Lush Cocktail Rescue - about 4 years ago
9 laughs

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After they burst out cackling when El Santo shows up, the episode really takes off. "Did I overdress?" "Should I get into my costume?" "Do you need any wrestling done?" Oh god.


E B - about 4 years ago
4 laughs

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"Let's see; she comes, sucks on your neck, you live for all eternity, she's totally hot...what's the problem here?"

Also, if our only hope for salvation is El Santo and that Goofy Professor, then we had all better get used to spending a lot of our time hanging out at the blood-bank. And it should be the Smurfs who kill the cast of Twilight. Or maybe Godzilla. Hell, El Santo will do; anybody, really.


Elisa Farrington - about 4 years ago
7 laughs

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Oooooh. Good bye Frank. The most touching part for me was his final 'A-yuck-a-ee'. I loved when he said it during his first season to Dr. F's annoyance. Aawww.


Bruce Ellsworth Reed - over 4 years ago
9 laughs

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Awwww...FRANK! Frank was cool, one of the best. Thank God for re-reuns!


Kiri T. Unicorn - over 4 years ago
3 laughs

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a·poth·e·o·sis:
n. pl. a·poth·e·o·ses
1. Exaltation to divine rank or stature; deification.
2. Elevation to a preeminent or transcendent position; glorification
3. An exalted or glorified example


Super McWonderfull - almost 5 years ago
10 laughs

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"TORGO the WHITE ! ! !"

ONE B BUDGET MOVIE TO RULE THEM ALL ...... :)


E. Michelle Peterson - over 4 years ago
11 laughs

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Torgo the White. This episode is great. It deserves way more laughs.


Stereo Catz - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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I'd kill for chinese right now.


Stereo Catz - over 4 years ago
3 laughs

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"Who is he papa?" His name is Rodolfo Guzman Huerta.


Stereo Catz - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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I like how that family has had the same hairdo for 200 years.


Stereo Catz - over 4 years ago
11 laughs

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Ah, El Santo, one of the pioneering sellouts among professional wrestlers. Whenever you have to sit through a terrible movie staring the Rock, John Cena, or Hulk Hogan, think of El Santo won't you.


Stereo Catz - over 4 years ago
1 laugh

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I hate myself right now because I had to look up Capital Critters after Mike made that remark. I couldn't remember what it was, I used to love that show!


Genevieve Sørensen - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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"Satan has given her prominent cheekbones"


Sabrina Domingues - over 4 years ago
8 laughs

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"I'm gonna eat my fortune cookie first, heee heee! I'm so naugh-ty!" Frank is awesome.


4 laughs

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"George" makes me miss the heroic figure cut by Arch Hall, Jr. :/


glenn-s - almost 5 years ago
6 laughs

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what can you say about 4'3" hero with a silver mask and cape, but HAAA HAAA !!!


Alex Stefanic - over 5 years ago
15 laughs

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Now all I can think about is El Santo killing the cast of Twilight...


John Harms - about 5 years ago
5 laughs

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I'm not sure how much of a hero our "hero" is. He seems to take advantage of convenient timing.


Gal Dagon - over 5 years ago
5 laughs

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I've been playing Stratego wrong this whole time!


Singe - about 5 years ago
3 laughs

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Certainly one of my favorite Halloween films!


Cris Marko - over 5 years ago
9 laughs

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Ah, I see the spanking service has arrived!


MB - over 5 years ago
4 laughs

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This episode is becoming one of my favs!


Jason T. Murphy - almost 6 years ago
4 laughs

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101% awesome


Frankie DeMario - almost 6 years ago
7 laughs

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@45:50 let the awesomeness begin!!