702 - The Brute Man
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| Short - The Chicken of Tomorrow: |
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314,
702,
306,
610
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Comments (86) Best Riffs (263)
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Fellow poultrymen, our cherished freedoms are threatened on all sides...
Excuse me... I'm from down stairs. Can you play through the Headphones??
Go into the bedroom.
Go into the bedroom. (Wow) Do as I say.
Yes, ma. Order me around
Oh, man! She's in the bedroom! I can't believe it and I haven't had anything in WEEKS!
"And by the way, I have some news for you." Your new eyeballs are in!
"Mr. Moffat, I have never spanked a Senior before, until now..."
You know, none of this would have happened if chemistry weren't required.
"Well, that sex was very serviceable and reliable, Thank You."
I've seen the one where the eggs come too fast and she puts them in her mouth.
"Your face!" Yeah, like you're a total fox.
Look at that, "Philanthropist Laid" It's always the philanthropists. Rock stars and philanthropists.
You can't wait for things to happen, young man, you've got to MAKE them happen!
"The farmer’s bring their crates of eggs to market the day before the auction”...Alternatively, they may bring their eggs EARLY the day OF the auction
Look Helen, the other girls in the sorority asked me to talk to you about your incessant piano playing.
[Crow] She can’t hear him? She’s the most inefficient blind person I’ve ever seen!
Well it looks like the Creeper's back in the game. Let's see what he can do with that new plastic groin!
"A mental quirk can develop into an extreme case of paranoia." So quit looking at me!
"Sexing the chicks, or separating the males from the females, is a highly specialized trade." Yeah, for pervs!
I'd like to be the chicken of tomorrow, but how can I be more the man of today?
im looking for a ring to make my hand look dainty :)
"See something you like, mister?" Yeah, but not on menu! Huhuh
Well, look at this. He puts applesauce in his meatloaf! That's a terrific idea.
"And when you gather them often, they don't get a chance to get dirty." Unless Filthy Fred there collects 'em.
Ah ha! And that's significant because...?
This would have moved along much faster if he was called "the Jaguar" or "the Cheetah."
"Do you want to be friends with me?" GeeIdon'tknowIhavesomanywellok.
I've seen the episode where the eggs come too fast and she starts putting them in her mouth!
"Right now, she's probably having coffee and sharing stories with Terri Gibb[s] and Diane Schuur."
"Mrs. Bates, can Norman come out and play?"
"I really shouldn't do this when I'm on the crapper!"
"Aren't there supposed to be pantyhose in there?"
"Fellow Poultrymen, our cherished freedoms are threatened from all sides..."
Gather your eggs often: two or three times a day. Be sure to put them all in one basket.
"Whether the chicken or the egg came first is still the subject of good-natured debate." "Heh heh -- no it isn't!"
“Attention all cars, attention all cars. General alarm.” Kill your owners.
“And this is a good place to point out a few facts about eggs.” Stop throwing them at my car!
“… and then get up on shaky legs and begin to live.” For a few weeks only to be eaten.
Dedicated to the chickens who lost their lives in the great chicken war
They came from a wounded guy with a hole in his groin who wouldn't let me touch his face.
*sigh* So, tell me about this cat poster...Apparently the cat is hanging on a stick...
Joey "the Cockscomb" Tortelli! Ricky "the Bantum" Chavatello! Jimmy "Crazy-cock" Cuchinni!
I don't think she's going to come out and give me that goodnight kiss.
Creeper, creeper, creeper!
The Creeper must approach the house cautiously...so as to not startle the house
This music makes chickens breed better. It's Luther VanDross for chickens!
Huh, my typewriter's making weird noises.
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Time to die.
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Man this episode is really underrated.
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"You're not afraid of me?"
"No. I'm a little nervous, I guess. Why should I be afraid?"
Oh, I don't know. Maybe because a strange man with an odd, raspy voice was hiding in your bedroom?!?!?!?!? Did losing her sight make her lose all her brain cells as well?
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um may I call you creep?
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Also...why kill Joan? "This is for being wildly in love with me while I ignored you!" CRUNCH.
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I LOVE the crusty, crotchety old store owner! I think that guy is hilarious.
Creeper, creeper, creeper! YOU give me the CREEPS!!
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What was Hal doing between college and his quest for revenge?
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23:25. The gas station attendant is kicking the truck tires! Ha, I thought that was just in old cartoons.
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...showed back up in a wartime (Basil and Nigel) Sherlock Holmes movie: the one set at a convalescence inn in Canada. I just watched all those in order, and it was like seeing an old friend when Rondo showed up.
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Get out of the hen house, the chickens are coming from inside the eggs ....
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I've always sung it HANG ON SNOOPY!!
right on Crow!!
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What's going on I heard a shot?
It's Hal Moffet, he's upstairs my husband shot him.
Was he on his Toffet at the time ma'am?
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Trace made a Rondo Hattan riff in the Superman/War Stamps short they all riffed in the MST3K Rifftrax LIVE reunion!!!
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1:26:46 Really? "May I SEE you home?" You couldn't use another verb like, oh say, "help" or "take"? You just had to go and rub her blindness in her face like that? HAVE YOU NO HUMANITY?! /tomservorant
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And so you see why we had to topple the democratically elected prime minister of Iran and install the shah! Without quality petroleum and lubricants our entire society would collapse! The chicken mcnugget would never have come into existence!
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More depressing than "High School Big Shot," but not as depressing as "Stranded in Space." Proof that not all old movies are classic, or even watchable. Other than the old grocer scene and the host bits, this one's pretty hard for me.
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I love Crow's: "Hey, it's KTMA!!" @44:49!!
good self-throwback riff there!!!
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When the blind woman goes into the bedroom because she thinks someone is there... why would she turn on the light?
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Paul Chaplin did some great characters on the show: Ortega, Pitch, and here, Sandy. The toupee and "Poooom!" is perfectly pervy.
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Crow could use some babysitting pointers from Vicky if he wants to be a tyrannical babysitter. But who wouldn't be bagging for their life when threatened with a flamethrower or fire ax. XD
Vicky: "An I would force them to clean the toilet after I'm done with it. I have a mean stool problem."
Well that was just...icky. Where's Trixie?
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Mr. Haskins, the enraged old man running the store in this movie, is by far my favorite old man ever.
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"Second only to dairying and beef cattle raising..."
So third, then.
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Servo won’t go to prison. He’s a robot and not subject to the laws of men.
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i don't know how to feel about knowing that Crow has "warm and nurturing hind-quarters".
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Gypsy's little "thank you" when Crow tells her "you shall live" always makes me lose it.
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I had to pause at the rooster mafia names. Was laughing too hard.
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"Could those chicks just out of the shell be sent without food on trips of a day, two days, even three? Indeed they can; Nature thought about that, too."
Because in the wild chicks often travel long distances immediately after hatching.
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Excuse me for going on another vegetarian rant, but now that I work at a grocery store slicing meat and cheese (don't ask; it pays well), I can tell you that roughly half of all rotisserie chicken get thrown away. Every night we toss out pounds of unbought chicken tenders, chicken wings, you name it. The chicken of tomorrow my ass. Us Americans are spoiled brats taking animal lives and throwing them away like rocks into the river.
RIP Clucky McCluckster. RIP starving kid in Africa.
And yes, I am being a self-righteous annoying dork right now. Deal with it.
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Rondo Hatton just made my short list of "people with awesome faces"! right besides the greats Tor Johnson and Robert Z'dar! Eat your heart out George Lucas no special effects needed here!
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Don't fear the creeper!
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Mike mutters "the backwards jackass company" as he's entering the theatre to the short from the texas company. He says it with such contempt you can't tell how much he's joking and how much he just really doesn't like Texas.
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Well, if anyone wanted our chicken, you're too late. Something killed it in the night. My neighbor found it torn apart in his backyard. Alas. I'd almost started liking it.
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Look at that, "Philanthropist Laid" It's always the philanthropists. Rock stars and philanthropists.
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I love when Mike starts losing it at 35:55.
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I just love watching Mike lose it during 36:00!
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At 00:43, I love how Crow is so totally engrossed in Seventeen magazine.
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In the end, we must pity the Brute
Who was cautious, but hardly astute.
In an ironic twister,
Though they shot off his sizzler,
The blind woman still thinks he's cute.
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That moment when the chicken talks suggestively to the narrator may be the single creepiest moment in any of these shorts.
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Also the egg came first, there were dinosaurs long before there were chickens and dino's laid eggs as well!
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I swear, the next "Little Miss Muffet" reference... Alright already! Pat Moffatt, sounds like Muffet... curds and whey, I got it!!!
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Can we just take a moment to appreciate the utter brilliance of the Sandy sketch at the beginning? What an utterly loathsome character, and one of my all time favorite bit parts in Deep 13.
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So apparently this movie was a sequel to House of Horrors, and there were supposed to be a series of The Creeper movies, but Rondo Hatton died after filming this. It's too bad. I heard the next movie was going to be called The Brute Man Meets the Grumpy Old Grocer. The movie's tagline? "Creeper, Creeper, Creeper, you give me the creeps!"
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the ORIGINAL "drunk chick"
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YOU GIVE ME THE CREEPS!
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Thanks to Tom, I can't listen to the piano song without thinking of Frank Sinatra's 'My Way.'
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Cliff says, "I stole his girlfriend, and made out with her in front of him. Then I destroyed his education and career, and made him look hideous. I just can't imagine what made him snap!" I chortled when he bought it.
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I don't get it, was the Chicken of Tomorrow an ad for trucks?
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Gonna take down the link for this because it's busted (still). I'll leave the link in this comment though for checking later.
Note this is busted: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cndzocvb8VE
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Poor guy. I love this episode though. Anyhoo, does any one classier than I know the name of the piano song she's playing right before she meets the brute for the first time?
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Favorite part: How they just FIXATE on that detective outside the house and his smoking.
"This is cutting into my cigarette time!"
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Is anyone else finding it impossible to watch past around the 45 min mark? As in the player literally won't play anything beyond a certain point? It happens to me everytime I try to watch this video.
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8:57 I sincerely doubt their assertion that "very special photography" was used to peer inside an incubating egg. More than likely, they took a handful of eggs and just started busting them open...and that makes me so sad.
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So...what's going on with this video? The full one I can watch fine until halfway through and then it stops.
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"Matthew" breathing directly into the phone in the mid-show host segment gets me every time.
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Poor Tom Neal (aka Tom Dewey); he's really not as bad an actor as is shown here, like in the cheap (but good) noir "Detour." One of the mst3k movies had the same director as did Detour, too. Coincidence?! Probably.
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I found a link on youtube! It's a 9 parter but they are all linked so it plays seamlessly. Just start with episde 1, which I linked. Enjoy!
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The most efficient way to sex a chick is to squeeze the shit out of them and gauge the color. That has been your fact of the day.
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At 44:36, when the homicide detectives are breaking into the Creeper's river shack, this copy completely blacks out. No more video after that point. No sound, nothing, just dead. I've tried it several times and it always cuts out right there, for good.
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Yup, gone man. Solid gone......picture & sound. Bummer.
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Oh man, I had to pause the movie and catch my breath after that scene with the evil Pepperidge Farm commercial narrator grocery owner and Jimmy. I couldn’t stop laughing for twenty minutes.
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The chicken of tomorrow is a 6 piece with taters and biscuts.
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What they dont tell you is the skinny chicken has twice the flavor of the plump one! Also if you don't wash your eggs they will stay fresh almost indefinately, they come out with a coating of some kind of chicken goo that acts a barrier preventing things from reaching the egg and spoiling it...
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Goofus and Gallant. Anyone else grow up with Highlights?
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Speaking of chickens, a random chicken has moved into the lean-to of our shed in the backyard. Anyone want it? If you come to Idaho and catch it, you can have it for free.
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Never thought I'd hear "Shroud of Turin" as a Riff - and it was hilarious!
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i'm just gonna say it: Jimmy was cute & I'm sad he dies so quickly in this flick.
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This episode is one of the funniest, from beginning to end. The laughs just keep coming, the timing is perfect, and Mike and the 'bots had a great time. From the chicken short, to the actual movie, and even the skits, thus is a laugh til you cry presentation that deserves many more votes than 79. I am utterly amazed!
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Ohhh - right in the store! And the typewriter is making funny noises again!
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Why on EARTH do they keep TRYING to subliminally sell me PETROLEUM goods ? Were our parents THAT DULL ? (1950s - 1960s) I just thought {Chevron with Techron} I would voice that. Well.... {Texaco} Thanks again
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I love how a short promo video that starts out about chickens actually ends up about how much we need oil.
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Rondo's character, Hal, leads a life with a few surprisingly similarities to that of Rondo himself. Don't believe me? Read this: http://www.imdb.com/name/nm0369061/bio
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There is just not enough love for this episode.
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"Chicken of Tomorrow" is one of my favorite shorts, but my real reason for watching this episode is to hear and see Mike crack up. He just loses it, and it's wonderful.
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The old grocer will never get old for me. Even after all these years I still sometimes just "fast forward" to that part, after watching Crow as the babysitter first, of course.
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There's blacksploitation, sexploitation, goresploitation, and even nazisploitation, but this is the only bigfacesplotation movie I know of.
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32:00 If she's blind, and according to her later in the film, she has been for many years, why would she automatically reach to turn on the light?
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Mr. Scott is a walking ad for pomade.
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Rondo Hatton’s final role. His iconic likeness is the inspiration for comic book characters Lothor(The Rocketeer) and The Creep(The Creep).
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Someone help me, I just watched this episode last night for the first time.
Hampton University is a historically all-black college. Why were the Hampton University students at the dance all white people? Why use the sign in front of an all-black college while filming, but use all white people as extras?
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Crow chicken-singing along to the end music of the short... oh lawdy!!!
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105:50ish "Sorry about all this, Mrs. Lot." Such a great line but without the visual it wouldn't make any sense, so posting the riff seems pointless. But HA!!
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37:36 yay shout out to one of my favourite bands!
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So this is how things would play out if you looked like a dick Tracy villian? You get named after a scooby doo monster and kill grocery delivery boys by the docks
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Is that the same Jack Pierce who did the makeup for Boris Karloff's "Monster" in the original Frankenstein?
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Your new eyes have arrived!
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Professor Cushman was laid to rest today in a tiny battery powered car. LOL classic good.