705 - Escape 2000
Full Episode: | |
Best of: |
Comments (100) Best Riffs (252)
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.

"Gotta say I expected more of turn out for the destruction of ye old Gothic castle!"

"Because the time they give us to collect this enormous sum is ridiculous."
"It's none time!"

"They're not getting the Tom of Finland posters!"
(I always wondered who on the writing staff knew who ToF was.)
Ah, Mr. Homeless People. Once again, we see that there is nothing that you can possess that I cannot take away.
Maybe this is a chick film and we just don't get it.
"...I may have something, over." Think it may be a cold, over.
Everyone calls me me trash, so I could see where you could get the idea my name is "Trash".
Sung To the tune of Journeys Separate Ways " Leave Bronx, leave the Bronx..."
I see. Now, the movie has book-ended itself what with the explosion at the beginning and now this at the end and all the explosions within the middle part
Purple rain, purple raaainn...

"They're not getting the Tom of Finland posters!"

(child voice) I'll catch up on my Marxist dogma while they're up there.

Toblerone: "You know you're really something?" -- (Toblerone voice) You got me going so I can't sleep at night.

Jeez, he's got Ricky Ricardo tourettes syndrome!
So apparently some of you do not want to leave the Bronx. As a first step, we urge you to try thinking outside the Bronx
“Mr. Wrangler, call from Mr. Clark for you. Fine, I’ll take it now”...Good, since he’s on the phone now
“That building - dynamite it!”...Or hang batteries on it or something.
You know, we haven't taken the time to enjoy the death of that devil vampire woman.
I'm a pretty good judge of people who aren't going to leave the Bronx, and this guy is one of them.

The director had a vision, make guys jump in slow motion.

Quit dissiffisating us!

"The angle of the sun is just right, so I thought I'd burn this ant I found while I was organizing my oily rags."
"An ant? Crow?! Doesn't that seem pointless and cruel?"
"Like there's going to be some kind of divine retribution."

Here, I brought you this. It's the lyrics to that Whitesnake song I was telling you about...
This is easy--and fun! I'm building my pecs as I'm evacuating the Bronx.
How could this have been the sequel to something, and then have another sequel AFTER this?
"Proc-e-e-e-d!!"
"Geez! He's got Ricky Ricardo Tourette's syndrome!"
Excuse me, sir... by now I'm sure you've heard about our "Leave The Bronx" program?

Coming in low out of the raising sun, scares the hell out of the executives!

Alfred Hitchcock's Rope. Not the movie, they just borrowed his rope...

Their demands are absurd. They want croppies nailed to every lamppost.
"Nobody wants to sit on a John filled with dynamite" I did once it was a big mistake

"Woahhh... George Hamilton didn't know when to stop tanning!"

♫ ♭ "Kawasaki lets the good times roll..." ♭ ♫

"Lunch today: Tater Tots™, Jell-O™, Pigs In A Blanket."
Finally, the showdown between the vaugly evil, and somewhat ambiguous.

Alright, we're here at the KROQ super van giving out....AHHHHHH!!!
SERVO: "He looks like a cross between a Silverback Gorilla and Eddie VanHallen"
"You know what they're calling your methods.... GENOCIDE"
"The technical term is disinfestation .. .. .. Now you pay me, to take care of the technical side !!!"

This trampoline accident could have been avoided. Never use a trampoline with unstable TNT in your pocket.

Ever since the salmonella outbreak, the Swans truck needs high security.
"Allow me to correct you- I'm worse than anybody." -Except that one guy; he was REALLY worse.
This illustrates the danger of extending rock videos to feature length.
1 reply
Report
If I am ever in the Bronx, I will leave the Bronx!
Report
When you think about it, the death toll in this thing is actually pretty low. The same 10 guys in silver suits are simply killed over and over and over in scene after scene after scene.
Report
I’ll do it. (Crow fills in as foley artist)
Report
My favorite shot is the brief one of the four bespangled characters conducting the synchronized cudgel fight in Toblerone's hideout. If Bob Fosse had directed "The Warriors"...
3 replies
Report
is that the same sadistic little kid from Rifftrax's WARRIOS OF THE WASTELAND??
does the dystopian, Italian-based future, have kindergartens where they teach laying trap mines, and basic handgun skills??
Report
The first time I saw this episode, I only saw a few minutes before the credits and Tom's "Leave Bronx" song. My brother and I got a kick out of that, being Bronxites ourselves. As I think about it, I think my googling "MST3K Leave Bronx" may be what led me here.
1 reply
Report
Apropos film, what with the current plandemic.
3 replies
Report
So through all of the killing, kidnapping, explosions, the "evil" corporation still won in the end. It is like only three people left in The Bronx and the scheming VP just got a promotion. Am I missing something here?
1 reply
Report
The screwiest part? This is the second movie in a *trilogy*.
3 replies
Report
Ever notice how often fires appear in the host segments?
4 replies
Report
Hmm…ok I think I understand. There was no actual plot just a little plot-lette for us to fill out. Got it.
So the hero was the Valerie Bertinelli dude…I mean the crusading vampiress reporter…or um the mercenary guy with the pyromaniac “son” who looks nothing like him…
Our villain was the president of the…no it was fallen on hard times actor Henry Silva…actually the backstabbing assistant who wanted…
The laughing Italian guy in the sewer served our story to…um…yeah…
And the main theme was staying in the Bronx…rather…leaving the Bronx…rebuilding the Bronx as a futuristic…uh…for um the purpose of…
I have to go lie down.
Report
@12:54 I always wondered who on the writing staff knew who ToF was.
Report
i'd love to hear this films dialogue before it was dubbed over
Report
08:21 they say there's nothing worse than seeing a man on fire....but tbh, i thought denzel was worse in virtuosity.
Report
I actually went and bought 1990: The Bronx Warriors, Escape from the Bronx, and New Barbarians simply because of how much i love this episode.
Report
Servo's voice makes my belly aches from laughter 1:10:50 .
1 reply
Report
At about 14:56, Servo is trying to sing a song, but what the heck is it?
Report
New Cinema Edition of, "Escape from the Bronx" now showing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O9sCUJ6Q8O8
Report
Hey New Mexico!
How you likin' the rain, girl???
Report
the actor who plays the President(Ennio Girolami), plays "Shadow" in WARRIORS OF THE WASTELAND...
Huzzah!
3 replies
Report
Speaking as someone who lives in New Mexico... don't let anyone make you move to New Mexico.
Report
every1 is a dickweed:
Report
"That's the plot of Fievel Goes West anyway." XD
Report
Follow my hair.
Report
poor Mike during the end credits...Servo wailing away with Journey, and Crow blaring on his Axe....
Report
This movie is MST3k's sewer level.
Report
Trash losing his folks by barbecue used to bum me out of liking this one, but I've changed my mind. Top notch, start to finish. Lunch, broads, lunch, silver guys... which had more carnage, this or Space Mutiny? Does it matter? A+
7 replies
Report
So....where does the "2000" part of this mess fit in?
I'm more than halfway through this movie, and there's been NO reference whatsoever to the year 2000...matter of fact, nothing's been established regarding when this film takes place save for a vague sense that it's sometime after 1986 (the only year mentioned thus far)
Again, I'll answer my own question: The only reason they called this crap sandwich Escape 2000 is because Escape From New York was taken :P
1 reply
Report
I'm totally digging their riffing over the closing credits right now -- Crow wailing on electric guitar, Servo doing his very best '80s power-balled belter, the take-off on that old Journey song -- one of their best closing-credits going-out bits ever. They're really good at those, riffing over the closing credits of movies made in the '70s and '80s, the dawn of the era of closing credits that go on forever.
2 replies
Report
around 27 after the 3rd host scene. is there a confederate flag? I swear i see one as their panning to trash
Report
Wow, what a KILLER episode. Funny as hell. Too bad they do any Silva/Outer Limits references, though; that would have been the cherry for me.
2 replies
Report
I didn't catch what was funny about how the reporter said hospital at 57:07. It sounded pretty normal to me.
2 replies
Report
Leave the Bronx, and Bronx Bunny came here and say I did leave the Bronx to visit Italy.
"Who's Bronx Bunny?"
Some puppet who interviewed the Sopranos once.
"You know, I can see this in Donald Trump's "plan".
Esnay on the Policioney, Trixie.
Report
This episode needs more "laughs", Toblerone laughs!!!!!
3 replies
Report
That entire scene where M&tB mimic the poorly-dubbed reporters. You just can't help but mock along.
Report
The thing I really like about the opening segment is when Gypsy tells Cambot to activate the sprinkler system, which means Cambot was watching the SOL burn from the very beginning and thought "I could put that out, but... nah!"
4 replies
Report
Escape 2000 what?
Report
It looks like Toblerone only has one earring in his right ear, and you know what that means... He prolly lost the other one during a violent laughing attack.
1 reply
Report
Y'know, there's one major disappointment with this movie. Despite the endless abundance of easily-killable silver-suited bad-guy thugs, and the amount of railings in the underground scenes, there isn't so much as one single railing kill in the whole damn' movie. I thought I might have seen one or two in a scene towards the end, but I can't really be sure as they happened really quickly and there was lots of smoke in the scene. The fight choreographer for this stinkburger could've learned a thing or two from Space Mutiny, if you ask me.
Report
Is it just me, or was the title of this movie the exact opposite of the "plot"? No one was trying to escape, they were actively trying to keep from leaving/being vacated and possibly killed. I can only figure the title was picked because they wanted people to assume, as I originally did when they first started talking about the Bronx, that this was going to be some low-budget knock-off of Escape from New York. Which I guess it sort of... was? Only not? Great riffing, guys, but now I have to dig up my copy of Escape from New York to compare and contrast.
Report
man, this one is a helluva sleeper. Highly underrated!!
3 replies
Report
Ya know, this one isn't good for falling asleep to. Too intermittently noisy.
1 reply
Report
well, I suppose I ought to leave the Bronx
Report
12:43 Well, whaddya know? It's Ricardo Montalban!
1 reply
Report
... And the Oscar for Best Performance in an MST3K movie goes to... Toblerone!
3 replies
Report
Please tell me. How the hell do you blow up a helicopter and a delivery van with a hand gun? Not just any hand gun, but .38 revolver. .38's are not that terribly accurate beyond short range and they really don't have the power to cause that kind of damage to a metal case.
1 reply
Report
I've always liked a romantic ending. Here's to Pearl and Dablone!
Report
Is Mike smoking his cigar backwards on man's night?
2 replies
Report
Toblerone contracts Trash who subcontracts the reporter who subcontracts Bruce Springstein who subcontracts the kid .... whatever happened to doing things oneself ?
3 replies
Report
Pearl/Toblerone or Pearl/Brainguy. [sigh] Such a tough decision...
Report
I bought this one in the "BOX" set...it still haunts me....from the closet.....stashed in that polypropylene disc holder....looking....waiting.....for the innocents to go near....I hold my tongue and pray for compassion....THEN A SOL SEGMENT!!! and I'm good with the world...dhamma to all...
3 replies
Report
How can you destroy an entire borough of New York and cover it up?
2 replies
Report
The main thing I don't understand about this film(other than why Toblerone isn't the main character) is why people want to stay in the Bronx. I mean that company will pay you, and even if that isn't true you've got people trying to rob you constantly, not to mention the company killing anyone who doesn't leave.
Report
1:19:52---shout out to ALIEN FROM L.A.
Report
"SOME - DAY -- LOVE - WILL - FIIIND - YOU!
BREAK - THOSE -- CHAINS - THAT - BIIIND - YOU!"
Report
Mike is good at finger spinning things...
Report
wow, Toblerone(Antonio Sabato) is Antonio Sabato Jr's dad...?? Sadly, Jr's a better actor
Report
ha-hooo! (the dummy falling in the explosion)
3 replies
Report
There needs to be a sequel to this about clearing out Brooklyn - bearded hipsters running from men in silver suits...
1 reply
Report
Wow Mike in leather chaps. Please tell me Toblerone becomes a recurring cameo
Report
Does anyone else think those renalds wrap cops look like the hunger game peacekeepers?
1 reply
Report
Toblerone was giving me some serious Hippy Hitler (Lorenzo St. DuBois) vibes.
Report
the dudes in the silver spacesuits look like a cross between Cybermen and Sontarans.....
Report
"Really overselling the New Mexico thing.."
LEAVE THE BRONX!!!!!!!
Report
circa 44:45, anyone else snigger when they said they were waiting out for the 'Gothic Castle'?
Report
Ha ha! At the end of the movie, right after the door sequence, Crow is singing Frank Zappa's "Let's Make the Water Turn Black."
1 reply
Report
I knew I recognized the actor playing the vice president, and by the end of the episode I figured it out. He was the lead in Lucio Fulci's stylistic but still terrible "The House by the Cemetery." Was this actor allergic to coherent plots, or was it some kind of a badge of honor in the 80s to be a part of awful, Italian-made movies set in America?
2 replies
Report
God, I can't believe I watched it all. Not an instant favorite, but I suspect it'll grow on me once I watch it again once or twice. Hopefully, it'll go just great in a post-apocalyptic triple feature with Robot Holocaust and Warrior Of The Lost World.
Oh, yeah, and did I neglect to mention that you should leave the Bronx?
Report
Not sure which is my favorite episode, but this is definitely in the top five, esp. when they break out in song at the end credits!
3 replies
Report
I'm actually a fan of this film and 1990: The Bronx Warriors, the film that came before this (though 1990 is MUCH better).
Hate to destroy the hopes and dreams of those still waiting to meet Toblerone someday ... but he dies in the full cut of the movie.
Report
I miss TV's Frank. Again.
Report
Maybe it's a chick film and we just don't get it.
2 replies
Report
I love Tom's Journey cover at the end credits!
4 replies
Report
You've got to love how the bad guys in this movie are only bad because they're being draconian in executing a really good idea. This is the movie I think about whenever I hear a Tea Partier fret about the direction they fear the country is going.
Report
18:33 Jeez! Poor guy was trying to leave the Bronx.
Report
People are leaving the Bronx due to the high ass rent.
Report
56:00 It’s Hugo Weaving!
Report
47:20 It’s a Mauser.
1 reply
Report
This looks like a job for RoboCop.
Report
The only thing realistic about this depiction of the Bronx is all the Italians.
Report
Yeah this is America. That’s why the bad guys are carrying Italian Army issue PM12s.
1 reply
Report
Y'know, that DOES look kinda like Schaumburg, IL.
Report
That Tom Servo can sing
Report
It's undeniably true, It sounds funnier when you omit the s in Fudgesickle.
Report
What was is about these movies in the 80's that had New York gangs if the future looking like they just stepped out of an off broadway play? Hell I see too people that could fit into chorus line!
1 reply
Report
Geez, that woman looks like John Malkovich.
2 replies
Report
Da'hell? What is this, a sequel to Warrior Of The Lost World or something? Maybe Warrior Of The Lost World meets Robot Holocaust?
Report
What's the deal with those damn' police uniforms? I've been to NYC numerous times, and the standard-issue street cop uniforms look nothing like what these clowns are wearing. They look like cop uniforms from the 1920s or something. Servo's right on about the crewmen of the Potemkin.
3 replies
Report
Why waste so much time, money, and effort combing the ruins for people who refuse to leave the Bronx? Especially when all you're gonna do is immolate anyone you find? Just bulldoze it, and kill 2 birds with one stone!
Report
Love the whole "men's night" sketch! Ah Crow, how I love thee!
2 replies
Report
*sighs* Effing Toblerone...
3 replies
Report
Is a flame thrower really the most practical or efficient weapon to use against helpless civilians? I get that they're tearing down the Bronx, so collateral damage doesn't matter--but its a slow, messy, and needlessly cruel death...They HAVE guns! A bullet to the head would be quick, clean, and merciful by comparison.
In the end, I think the only reason they use them is because burning people to death helps pad the film :P
Report
Okay the whole Timmy bobby rusty thing was creepy as hell not the least of which due to the guy playing him, he looked like he 50 or had progeria. And the tongue sticking out thing.... Shudder.... Pure nightmare fuel. I feel slime lay just having seen it
Report
Ahh the 80's when the post apocalypse was always around the corner and was almost always in New York or the parrallel universe New York that was populated entirely by Italians.
2 replies
Report
*19:31 ...... isnt that a poster of the main character!?!? lol
Report
Whoa...I just caught an awesome callback joke at 28:38 in...
"Frank sneezed!"
Report
I love how they use a car alarm in the second host segment.
Report
This episode...oh man. One of the first ones the bf and I watched together. We discovered this one not long after I introduced him to "The Warriors" and he introduced me to "Escape from New York", which are really the best of the urban-post apocalyptic-gang rebellion flicks. And then there is "Escape 2000", which hardly meets that standard.
Report
the disinfeftation guy looks just like rick santorum
Report
*3:55* I had to put mother in a home! XD