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802 - The Leech Woman



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204 laughs

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Old Malla in it for the kicks?
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So this 150 year old lady travels to america to prove to a doctor her tribe can halt and reverse aging. She says she does this with the expectation that whatever doctor she convinced would come to find her tribe . When the doctor arrives they tell him they will show him how it works so he'll know why the world can't have the secret (assuming perhaps he will pass on the word). After showing the secret to the group she says they will kill them in the morning for having seen the secret and she'll never let it leave her tribe. Was old Malla just in it for the kicks or what?


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Second half of this movie just had me thinking of Fear and Loathing. Picturing Depp tripping out on Adrenochrome, "harvested from the adrenal gland of a live human" and Del Torro wanting "a fresh adrenal gland, just to chew on"


Michael Kottler - about 1 month ago
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Just glad t0 see pe0ple are st1ll enj0y1ng th1s sh0w after all these years. Watched the remake 0n Netfl1x wh1ch was f1ne but the class1c ser1es rules. :)


Michael Kottler - about 1 month ago
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1t makes me happy t0 kn0w that 6 0ther pe0ple are watch1ng th1s al0ng w1th me. c00l.


Michael Kottler - about 1 month ago
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n1ce frank zappa reference


Mackenzie - almost 3 years ago
6 laughs

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Neil!! This one gets funnier every time :)


matthew lawrence - 2 months ago
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WOW ! ... ThiS Season Shows how much they missed Trace's input. Crow sounds rubbish .... skits were always worse since JOeL anyway. iTs all awful .. AWFUL


Jane Sproul - over 2 years ago
2 laughs

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I love how deeply confused the lawyer is by young!June's freakout. It couldn't possibly be, oh, I don't know... GUILT? BECAUSE YOUR FIANCEE IS *WAITING FOR YOU RIGHT OUTSIDE, YOU FUCKING PIG?!*


Funky The Monkey - 7 months ago
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And that's how some feel about me when I do my crazy Trixie routine. I know it was driving one guy nuts. XD
Trixie: "The guys at Team Four Star pretend to be characters from DBZ all the time, and people love their stuff."
Yeah but I'm a guy pretending to be a girl. That's probably why other than being out of the norm.
Trixie: "It's just disturbing like JJJEEEEEDDDD!"
Now you don't start that.
Trixie: "Stop pretending to be me. Veronica Star already does that insanity."
Never!


Snuffy Wuffykiss - almost 2 years ago
3 laughs

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WTF is with her furs? I am not against wearing fur in general but leaving the heads and hands attached and dangling is just plain morbid and creepy.


Standard Supplies
Donald Petkus - 7 months ago
1 laugh

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Why would the great white hunter bring along a 50 pound crate of dynamite?


Funky The Monkey - 7 months ago
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The funny thing about hyenas is that both genders have penises. Their chicks really do have...yeah. Learned this from a documentary some years ago. Maybe that's why they laugh all the time.

From further quick internet reading, that's mostly the spotted female hyenas. But still, natural comedy.


Travel Documents
Donald Petkus - almost 2 years ago
5 laughs

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I wonder how the rejuvenated June passed through Africa, Europe, and US customs and immigration. Her passport (assuming she retrieved it) had a birth date and photo that wouldn't work.


1 laugh

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Kinda going off the comment below me, I find the "I reach speeds of 70, she goes 3 miles an hour, and I can't catch her" joke pretty annoying. Why do so many people confuse leopards and cheetahs? Okay, so I've had a lifelong fascination with animals, and I knew the difference between a cheetah and leopard by the time I was five, but still!


Misterkingdom - almost 3 years ago
6 laughs

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Why the hell did David run from her when she woke up old? He's overreacting big time unless he thought she was going to go after his pineal gland.


Rhys Patterson - over 4 years ago
5 laughs

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I am betting this is another movie where the luagage haulers are complaining about the money and director in another language on camera. It's actually really really common and in some of the classics, so I bet they are doing it in this stink burger


Tim Hall - 8 months ago
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Some parts of this movie were taken from Universal's 1954 feature Tanganyika.


Leslie Doesn't Get You - over 5 years ago
9 laughs

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I actually found this movie to be pretty darned entertaining.


Krankor - 12 months ago
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Link one does nothing 🐓💨


GO M1 - about 1 year ago
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Can someone upload this to Youtube? The link doesn't work for my computer, and I'd love to watch this episode.


William Kidd - over 1 year ago
1 laugh

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Tim Hall - about 1 year ago
3 laughs

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Leech Woman was just ahead of its time. It would have been great on Lifetime.


Charles D. Mercury II - over 1 year ago
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I love the nanite sketches.


David - almost 5 years ago
2 laughs

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I LOVE the Otis Nixon reference. He was playing centerfield for the Red Sox at the time I first saw this episode. The old lady really does look A LOT like he did then !


Corvid - over 3 years ago
7 laughs

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This movie was a lot more than I was prepared for on a lazy Tuesday night after work. Hard hitting and full of disturbing moments, I fucking love this movie!


Jackie Bole - over 1 year ago
1 laugh

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How can there be 2 watching when the program has been yanked?


Jenica Burgos - over 4 years ago
4 laughs

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Is the "original Ray Croc" the same burger-esque picture that's on the wall in This Island Earth?


DJburris87 - over 1 year ago
2 laughs

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How the hell did Bobo get Joel's daktari stool?


Snuffy Wuffykiss - almost 2 years ago
4 laughs

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For a man old age brings rewards of honor and respect but a woman has nothing but pity... What a load of crap! Old age sucks for everyone.


Jane Sproul - over 3 years ago
12 laughs

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I just love that the stupid bastard husband is like 'yes, use human sacrifice to get young and hot again! YOU HAVE NO REASON TO WANT ME DEAD, THIS IS GOING TO WORK OUT GREAT FOR ME!'


Elisa Farrington - about 4 years ago
4 laughs

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Oh my gosh, Ned's boy Jodie got squashed by a tank. Ptuey!


Laura Ann Fitton - almost 4 years ago
3 laughs

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This movie really does show a double standard and dare I say almost hatred toward woman. The entire premise of the movie is that we have nothing to add to the world except our beauty which according to this movie ends when we turn 30. Although the men in this movie have few redeeming qualities, the ultimate message toward woman is really hateful. Hard to believe last year the woman chosen by People magazine as the worlds most beautiful is about the same age as the "repulsive" woman portrayed in this movie


I can't be the only one here....
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...who thinks that Tom Servo bellowing "JEE-EEEE-EEEDDDD!" would make an awesome ring tone. I've already got The Haunting Torgo Theme and that weird guitar chord at the end of the MST3K opening theme...


Jane Sproul - about 2 years ago
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Y'know, since at this time Married Women Don't Work, I feel even more contempt for the nurse. If you think your employer is horrible to his wife and have witnessed it and are going to leave your job anyway, you might as well tell him not to be such a fuckstick on your way out the door.

(Yeah, she could've planned to be The Exception but it really, really doesn't seem like it.)


kevin wiseman - over 2 years ago
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Suddenly, I keep recalling Ruth Bader Ginsberg


Robert Ferguson - about 5 years ago
4 laughs

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I'm nearly CERTAIN,.... that Mr. Peanut, ya know the "ape", it's are own Mike Nelson, it's the "voice".


Mike Carmona - over 3 years ago
9 laughs

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3:09 I'm somewhat relieved to know that Joel's Daktari Stool survived the Ape-ocalypse. His last invention...::sniff::


The humanity - over 3 years ago
1 laugh

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This was sad and disturbing on so many levels. No laugh grade for me... this one was just one to watch in order to get to the next one


Zsolt Farkas - over 2 years ago
1 laugh

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lemme just mix us up some penial cocktails


James GreyWolf - almost 3 years ago
3 laughs

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There is a bit of story telling, but, to some extent, this may be based, in part, on a true story. In the 16th and 17th centuries, in Hungary, the Countess Elizabeth Bathory was one of the most extensive serial killers of all time. She killed over 650 young women over her 54 years. Why? She killed young women and bathed in their blood to absorb their beauty. This woman must kill men to obtain her beauty. but the fact that she is taking her beauty from body fluids and is obtaining it by murdering people makes her story very close to Elizabeth's.


Liz Peterson - over 2 years ago
4 laughs

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"Oh nonsense. Granny Clampett is a complex and *highly* nuanced character."


Marc Bady - over 3 years ago
4 laughs

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Anyone notice the Doctor's wife looks like a busted, low rent version of Ingrid Bergman??


Stefan - about 3 years ago
5 laughs

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Just FYI, the "wild" snake they show in Africa is a S. American Boa Constrictor


Dun dun DUHHNNNN--
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"Pin-ee-ALLL!"
--Tom Servo


McDonalds
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Oh mah gah! A Ray Kroc reference!?!?


Stephen A Nathe - about 3 years ago
3 laughs

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this movie is surprisingly "Agar and Load-free"!!


B RYE the MST3K Guy - over 3 years ago
10 laughs

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she's in the zone!! she's hitting penial glands at will..inside the paint outside the paint !!


This is one of the best episodes ever
Heavy D - over 3 years ago
8 laughs

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those are my "dreams of Blood"...pretty neat, huh?


Jenica Burgos - over 4 years ago
5 laughs

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I think Sally was in Girl's Town as the Romulan Judo roommate.


Colter Matthews - over 4 years ago
7 laughs

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I'm just throwing this question out there: Was there ever a movie featured on MST3K so full of unredeeming characters as this one? I'm not against movies that don't have redeeming characters in general, Ive just never really seen an MST3K movie where I didn't identify with at least one of the characters. This movie's view of humanity is almost as bleak as... well, mine.


Desiree Ashcraft - almost 4 years ago
2 laughs

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The palooka in "The Unearthly" has got to be the victim outside of the bar. Am I wrong, people?


Desiree Ashcraft - over 4 years ago
8 laughs

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Now I will have this running through my head all day: JEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Fancy Pantserton - almost 5 years ago
10 laughs

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...I like that part too. "Real Africa...Hollywood Africa!"


Stereo Catz - over 4 years ago
4 laughs

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I don't think I'd want to look for a primitive tribe called "The Nandos". They're bound to be cannibals. That's right, I made an extremely obscure reference to the 1972 crash of flight 571 in the Andes mountains in which several survives including Uruguayan rugby player Nando Parrado turned cannibal in order to survive over a two month period, yeah I went there.


suzy lux - almost 4 years ago
5 laughs

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in the year twenty-five, twenty-five...3 women had the will to survive! (I'll escort myself out, it's ok)


James Krummel - about 4 years ago
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At 27:50 when the hippo is peaking out of the water and Crow pipes in with "Fire one! Fhew fhew!" was just perfect drink spewing hilarity. Good thing I wasn't drinking at the time.


4 laughs

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NEAL! NEEEEAL! Makes me smile every time I hear it.


Classicats - over 4 years ago
4 laughs

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Well Dr. Endocrinologist, finally I can give someone the well-earned title of "dickweed". I'll also include this entire movie in that designation for making women aging seem like that's unnatural. "I'd rather die than go back to that"? Seriously?


Mike Carmona - over 4 years ago
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They should've given the detective sunglasses so he could be more mellow.


Reconst - over 5 years ago
5 laughs

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I'm confused here. At 18:14, she's clinging on her lawyer, then her husband enters. Considering their marriage is falling apart, wouldn't he find this to be a little suspicious and/or alarming, and possibly overreact in true 50s fashion?

You know what? I should really just relax.


Fredrick Stafford - over 4 years ago
17 laughs

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Great, one more thing to worry about; is a woman really into me or is she just sizing up my Pineal gland for future reference?


Stereo Catz - over 4 years ago
4 laughs

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Loved that nonchalant cop scene.


Stereo Catz - over 4 years ago
7 laughs

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57:25 They were alligators, crocodiles, AND gavials.


Pete Griffiths - over 4 years ago
8 laughs

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Now why the hell were there kookaburra calls in Africa?


Classicats - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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The pineal gland is not located in the back of the neck. I know, I should really just relax, but this movie is really getting my goat.


Big McLargehuge - about 5 years ago
6 laughs

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What an effective alarm clock Servo's Jed-shrieking Granny impression would make! Imagine THAT going off at like 5 in the morning, huh? Also, what's the moral of this story here? Don't get old or don't go to Hollywood Africa?


Fancy Pantserton - almost 5 years ago
4 laughs

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The sacred nike! Just do it!


Scooter Atreides - about 5 years ago
12 laughs

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This actually isn't too bad...but the title has a weaker connection to the plot than even The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living And Became Mixed-Up Zombies....The title MIGHT work if leeches were prone to feeding off younger, prettier animals due to self-esteem issues their douchebag husbands gave them.


Big McLargehuge - almost 5 years ago
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This woman's old lady voice reminds me of Wynnona Ryder's old lady voice from Edward Scissorhands.