807 - Terror from the Year 5000
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Nurses ruled in those days. They periodically declared martial law.
It was one of these colonies that your apparatus probed. "Ow."
[Throughout human history, what has been the first activity of explorers of any region?]
Genocide?... Slavery?... Spreading diseased blankets?
Congratulations, Doctor. You just turned milk into bowling trophies!
In the year 1900 and 47 Man broke the sound barrier...
They thought they were so cool.
There seems to be some delay with the terror, I'll just go back and see what the problem is!!!!
The terror should be here any moment so if you'll just be patient!!!
He's a museum curator, yet he has starving artist paintings on the wall.
Uuughhh, he just holds his fish-lips there and she does all the work.
God, what a brave actress.
[Servo] I realize now I may have oversold the terror at the beginning and for that, I apologize!
[Servo] Ahem, the terror should be underway any moment now, so if you’ll just be patient!
"Stashu! Peregna!" Which means: Eggnog! Give me your eggnog!
Being human isn't about killing, in cold blood, those who are helpless. Though I have in fact done that; I probably shouldn't have.
The terror from the year 5000 turned out to be a Ford with bad brakes.
I once translated the Iliad, now I walk around in crunchy pants.
"You've been told never to touch anything in the laboratory."
You girl!
Well, I've been probing relentlessly for hours. I'm grabbing me a juice box.
I'm glad they included this, I was wondering how he was gonna get from the boat to the house.
"Harlot"
"Jezebel"
"Home-wrecker"
"Man-stealer"
"Scag"
"Thick ankles"
"Slight mustache"
It's not a good movie but there is plenty of off street parking.
"Dr. Hedges, I presumed"
"How did you know my name?"
You're Mrs. Lady, right?
In the year 1958, man launched the first satellite and broke the space barrier! And yet I can't get my pants back by Thursday!
Anyway, I'm gonna dump the ice princess, I mean, we've never had a single satisfying sexual encounter that I-wWUAAGH!
Umff... you're abrading my lips... you taste like mitt conditioner...!
Here, why don't you start undressin' and I'll show you what he was doin'...
The Terrible, Aching Crush I Had On My Roommate from the Year 5000!
"Now thayere's an interesting sample!" Now thayere's an interesting line read!
I'm going to kill you!...I'm not kidding!...My brother was killed by a stick...
"First I think I'll get you some fresh water." And pour it over your slutty face.
the movie is on hold, t-minus ten minutes until plot resumption, we have a leak in the narrative and the movie could implode...
WA-A-AAAAAAAAAAAAAA-A! (My imitation of Servo's imitation of Robert Plant / The Immigrant Song.
(Bob and the Professor walking through woods wearing radiation coats.) Oh, I wanna go home now - I'm tired and I have enough candy I think.
"Look at the TV!" It's the special letterbox version of static!
"Now that we know they can read and write, why, soon we'll be talking to them!" Exchanging 'Magic: The Gathering' cards!
"Throughout human history, what has been the first activity of explorers of any new region?" Genocide? Slavery? Diseased blanket spreading?
[Did you spend the night here?] NOTHING HAPPENED! And if it did, it was consensual!
Let's chip in and buy this movie a light.
Donations in lieu of flowers should be sent to Bodacious Ta-Ta's Monthly.
"Hey Joe, will ya turn on the TV set?" Mr. Ruby told me to watch the prison transfer.
The Terror from the Year 5000 turned out to be a Ford with bad brakes
Just rip the skull off the pig, then--Good night, Ma'am!--pop the eyeballs out and boil 'em...
"Folks, I checked the stock and Terror's on back order!"
"Swimming bonnet from Amish Beachware Fashions of Charm, Ohio!"
"Oh, why don't I just lay on him? I know I want to!"
"All these random scenes simply abut each other to form a movie!"
"Oh, I can't wait to see the Mapplethorpe exhibit!"
♫ "Northwest Orient *~bum bum bum~* Airlines!" ♫
"Get some lead shielding on that, and hurry." Sure, I'll just run down to Lead Shielding Hut and....
"Wanted to eat fish'- not sleep with them..... meow, meow, meow, meow..."
"Just got to see my vacation slides from Knotts Berry Farm again."
Now slump some more, let your arms just hang down there and don't move.
"Congratulations doctor, you've managed to turn milk into bowling trophies."
Everyone from this era looks like they worked for NASA.
Terror from the year 5000 turned out to be a Ford with bad brakes.
I realize now that I might have oversold the terror at the beginning and for that, I apologize!
Now what's going on? Who's that other guy? Where are we going? What is this fluid under my feet? What happened to the day ball?
"Do not understand why you have not replied to my letters. You have proof that I am not insane."- Love Mom
"Man struggles to penetrate the most imposing barrier of all"- DAMES!
or
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This movie is just stuffed with excitement... and terror.
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donations, in lieu of flowers, should be sent to Delicious Tatas Monthly...
i wonder if my subscription's still active....I haven't gotten a new issue in forever...
probably a digital publication now...
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Dr. Hedges (Bob) was apparently in Code Name: Diamond Head! I was looking him up on IMDb. He plays Captain Macintosh, but I don't know who that is. Next time I watch that episode, I'll have to watch out for him.
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Poor BoBo, he never knew the deadly technique of the Sea Snail (see snail..why yes I see a snail) .....
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Angelo needs to go hang out with Mickey and Ortega.
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Thanks a bunch you guys, now I've got Only Time Will Tell stuck in my head.
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Crow wearing a crowbar makes my heart happy.
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I would have preferred more backstory on Angelo, especially the source of his mysterious power over his employers. That is the movie they should have made. All the servants I have know who were caught ogling the Missus of the house were horsewhipped and dumped in the swamp. Yet Angelo is permitted to lurk about, as if she were titillated by the idea of a 50's-style sex maniac serving the family Sunday dinner.
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Proof of insanity, yep that's what I need.
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They are supposed to be smart enough to have made a time travel device, but they don't know the basics of radiation protection.
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despite what the prolog says, the first earth satellite was launched in 1957 and not in 1958. Sputnik 1 went into orbit in October 1957.
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I LOVE the way Pearl says "... the hell?!" In the opening segment with the brain guys. Just the right amount of outrage mixed in with some disbelief, skepticism, and belligerence.
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what is the name mike says at 8:35-36? ("paul man???'s knock-kneed nude")
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i play these to go to sleep by, usually, and this one .. well, it's keeping me awake with all the laughing out loud, from the word go... lads! i need to sleep!
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This fucking movie. 'HOLY SHIT THE PEOPLE WE CONTACTED IN THE FUTURE ARE *UGLY!* FORGET THIS!'
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What a caring and sensitive nurse. Reminds me of a night shift nurse I had in the hospital as a kid. This chick didn't like giving shots and blood made her woozy. You just can't make that kinda stuff up! hahaha
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Does anyone else remember Suddenly Susan? I think that was Brooke Shields's sitcom.
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This is an episode that grew on me. I used to skip it more often than watch it, but my last couple of times through the series, I have really come to enjoy it. It's so much fun and every time Mike says "Oh, Bob.", mocking the doctor, I can't help but smile.
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A man is crossing the lawn in shorts, carrying rope and a shovel. Naturally, the first question anyone would ask is, "Are you going swimming?"
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The brain guy song is actually quite beautiful
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The house's front lawn goes right down to the shore and the jetty, doesn't it? How the hell did the nurse manage to get lost?!
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So he figured out that the statue was from the year 5200 A.D. by just doing math? Didn't have to run any tests on the material, or...?
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I finally signed up despite my hatred of signing up for things just to tell the world that if thinking Mike hugging Servo in this opening isn't unbearably cute is wrong, then I don't wanna be right.
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Pretty sure that the statue wouldn't carbon date from the future because it's based on half-life... so if it was made new in its time and then sent to the scientists in the movie... it should show as new, not *dramatic announcer voice* FROM THE FUTURE. Things never have _more_ carbon than when it's new. And I know, I know "repeat to yourself it's just a show" but it's not the show, it's the movie. I'm just saying. It's the fundamental problem with the plot.
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Don't knock it, Tom Servo's comfort rating of luncheon meats were instrumental in Lady Gaga's meat dress!
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How the hell did Servo get back in the theater by himself?
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the video was taken down! D:
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You know...in different circumstances, Kevin could have been a successful crooner. He really does have a lovely singing voice. Mike could have been his accompanist, and even Bill isn't bad as a backup.
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This is by far my favorite episode. The riffs are perfect and the movie is horrible. Just so great.
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FRA-GEE-LE'
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This was the very first episode I saw here in Sweden, must have been 15+ years ago. Loved MST3K ever since. Funny how they messed up the time on the wall clock in a movie that has time travel in it. Hmm...
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the lady from the future/fake nurse(SALOME JENS) played the female changeling/Founder on ST:DS9----she's really cute in this, preferably w/out the radiation sores... :D
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Does anyone else want to grab Tom Servo and just hug him?
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Is Mike the Frugal Gourmet?!?
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I hate that they used the Observers for so many of the stingers.
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I wonder if the Observers actually sung that song or was it snyc'd?
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1:12:07 Accidental ball sack cupping in the background
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Okay. Movie was crap. Riffs made it slightly tolerable. But that musical number at 1:08:40 was the tits! Holy cows I could listen to that type of crooning all day. Such perfection.
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Wow, the mask's transformation is as sparkly and innovative as the witches' from The Undead.
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1:30:20 -- Never noticed till now that Bobo lets out an "ATCHKA!" much like Dr. Ted "No Crackers" Nelson.
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58:58 Great homage to the Beatles "Hard Days Night". That exact reference was made to Paul McCartney's grandfather on the train. Servo even used his best Liverpool accent. I actually went back in time. Thank you Servo.
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58:45 Mike Nelson insults every MSTie. "So now we're going to watch people watching a movie? What's that all about?" And what's worse, we were almost people watching people watching people watching a movie!
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As often as people referred to Dr. Hedges by his last name, Mike and the bots didn't jump on it by calling the other person "Benson". There was a whole vein to mine with menthols, 100's, Ultra-lights...
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Who the heck is her tailor... Sparkletts Water?
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An uncomfortable moment during the "non-food pills" sketch: Mike references (and quotes) the Frugal Gourmet. This ep aired the month before the abuse allegations blew wide open. On the upside, the same sketch had a nifty Basil Fawlty imitation by TS. And was that Kaboom cereal in the Observer's bowls?
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Ah yes, peeping, living in an old tool shed, pin-up porn….miss you dad!
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Love Crow's time travel sketch.
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-"He jumped me!"
-"I've had enough of your wild accusations!"
Wouldn't he be pretty sure whether or not someone attacked him?
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I like how he just takes highly radioactive material through the air-port in a brown paper parcel.
(Note: to government big brother types who picked up on the words "radioactive" and "air-port" it's just a reference to the movie linked above.)
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Okay, Carbon 14 dating would't tell you how far something has come through time, only how long it has existed which would come to how long it was in the future + how long it was in the past/present. That is to say if it were made in the year 5200 and a year later it was brought back in time and was then dated 3 days later carbon 14 dating would reveal it to be not -3250
some odd years but rather 1 year 3 days.
Also it doesn't work on metals.
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00:47:06 - The trumpet-like noises from the time machine have Crow calling out for jazz great Don Cherry (1936-1995). I
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"Now you're suggesting that bologna has no insulating properties? Look, it's really cold, you're nude, and all you have is some bologna, and you refuse to wear it because it's absurd? That's really sad, Mike!"
Tom just wanted the chance to have Mike sing the Animaniacs theme.
(Nice J. Peterman homage there, too, Tom. Totally Nineties!)
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Hey, what's the song that Crow sings for a while after the Terror takes that face out of her bag?
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Maybe it's because it was gone for so long and I hadn't seen it in a while, but I'm finding this episode extremely funny. Funnier than I remembered. I've watched it three time's since it's been put back up.
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If I had the time machine from this episode, I'd go back in time, film this episode, and post it back here.
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Servo : "Terror from the year 5000 turned out to be a Ford with BAD brakes" I MUST concur Mr. Servo !!
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I said it before and I'll say it again:
Kevin Murphy is beautiful tenor
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Of all the movies MST3K covered, this is the only one that actively angers me... CARBON DATING DOES NOT WORK THAT WAY!!!
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At least The Creeping Terror got its title half right. The Terror From the Year 5000 doesn't just fail to terrify, but it actually comes from the year 5200. Tisk tisk. Observer musical number in the middle makes it worthwhile.