819 - Invasion of the Neptune Men
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I never thought I'd say it, but suddenly Independence Day seems a richly nuanced movie.
"Go! Sketch! Draw your Snappy The Turtle!"
"Strong letter to follow!"
"Miyashi told me I look like a WALRUS!"
"The tampon machine is empty!"
"Yep. Designed by I.M. Pei, built by Jim Varney."
"There appears to be plenty of parking for Lilith Fair. Shall we?"
"Space Dink."
"It's Crystal Gayle's curling iron."
"Sorry I was in the weeds didja' want me to come by with menus?"
"Well, if it's not too much trouble could somebody ritual seppuku me now?"
"Ten. Nine." "Yeah, Yeah, Yeah." "Eight." "One." "Seven." "One." "Six." "ONE."
"Five." "ONE." "Four. Three." "ONE!"
"These children are about ten, so, uh..."
"Yeah, they're WAY out of college."
"Shouldn't they be at their jobs, then?"
Strange way to dry your bowls.
This really is disappointing as the follow-up to Psycho.
It's the AP wire service cross-country team.
"So you eat, and all the food goes splashing all over your face, and you end up with monstrous demons feeding off the garbage dripping off your eyelashes, and you're okay with that?"
Soldiers are popping up everywhere asking if the war is over yet
Whoops. Didn't mean to do that . Just wanted to turn up the heat.
Grandpa tries to set his digital alarm clock
*Record skipping* go ahead and take it to the bridge now, take it to the bridge
“[Gasps] But will the barrier protect us?!!!”...pshht, I dunno know. Just kinda threw it together...
"What is it? Tachibana would know! C’mon!”...and they were never seen again and Japan came to an end. The end
I guess my bellicose ways prevent me from expressing my affection completely.
"So you don't think the spaceship as left us for good?" No, Professor Froggy.
Jeez, they're making the chicken men of Krankor look super confident and dignified!
Space Chief is off having a couple of Sapporos with Jet Jaguar and Prince of Space.
You know what, guys? I think this is going to become The Magnificent Ambersons. In fact, it IS The Magnificent Ambersons! Right now! It is! You see it? The family riding in the sleigh. Ching-ching-ching-ching! "There it is! Amberson mansion, pride of the town! Hot and cold running water? Upstairs and down!" It's not working, guys! It's NOT The Magnificent Ambersons! I don't even LIKE The Magnificent Ambersons!
Scientists from around the world try to find out just what the hell is up with Japan.
They're invading Buckminster Fuller's geodesic dome city!
Scientists labor to find out what the hell is the deal with Japan...
Featuring Santa, Speed Racer, Shonen Knife, and Sailor Moon!
But we're Japanese children! We can go anywhere we want at any time!
The aliens are terrified of themselves, panic, and leave immediately.
Due to the apocalypse, cram school will be delayed by 45 minutes.
"I also invite you to the caning of five children!"
You're right guys! We're idiots, I guess! [squares up to lap, vomits]
"Yesterday you laughed at us, today we're all heroes!" - Now, you're gonna take a BEATING!
"Oh, man. There are 73 McDonald's™ lawsuits pending."
"So, they glued wings to a fuel filter."
"Sea Monkeys are disappointing."
"Now, who wants dessert?"
"Ahhh... Allegra™."
"Oh, look. It's Oliver Reed's liver encased in lucite."
How about "Ineffectual Chicken-Headed Bachelor"?
It's like the Neptunian Bay Of Pigs...
"Kill the pig! Drink his blood! Oh, wait. That's another story..."
"Get out of here! You're in my pickled eel garden!"
"Ow! The sawgrass! Oh, why did I wear my little shorts?!"
"I just can't get a news break. There's nothing happening." There's the dolphin killing festival.
You know, I wish the running would never stop. I mean it! I simply can't get enough shots of these kids running! No, really! Literally, there is no limit to how much I wanna see it.
Oh I'm just so glad Japan honored all those post-war disarmament treaties.
Well, it's the end of the world as we know it, and actually I feel a little bit gassy, but otherwise I'm fine.
Run! Work! Run faster! Work harder! Abandon healthy diets! Drink alot! Never speak to your children! DO NOT APOLOGIZE FOR THE WAR!
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My cat sat on my lap and watched the entire interminable flight fight sequence towards the end of the movie. I think he's the only creature on earth who has ever enjoyed it.
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saddest thing about THIS and Prince of Space, is they're like the predecessors to later shows like Power Rangers....
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So the Neptune Men come from an advanced civilization that designed spacesuits that make it impossible to turn their heads to the side; they can only see out through a tiny welder's mask sized window and they move like they haven't been able to change their astronaut diapers in quite some time.
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The Idiot Control Song and Canada Song are pretty good bits, but I prefer Noh bit.
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So the alien's plan was to start a war between America, and Japan, who at the time was a conquered protectorate of America?
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Japan, just...just......what the hell Japan?
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Oh, I don't know if there are any Rage Against the Machine fans here, but a clip of this movie (specifically at 13:55) was used in their video for "Testify."
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I had rojipanty complex once a few years ago, nasty stuff.
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1:14:29 "The Hitler building!"...really Japan, WHAT THE HELL?!?
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I have figured out what everyone else's problem is; this movie is actually great. However, due to the Roji-Panty complex many find it revolting.
I
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A rare Godzilla free day in Japan.
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Is it strange that I find that blue screen at the end of the tape so relaxing?
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OMG!! @ 1:14:29 What is a giant figure of Adolph Hitler doing on the front of that Japanese building!? I'd love an explanation, 'cause that's just plain wrong.
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Tommy Kirk must've gotten his clothing idea from the children , tiny shorts ...
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Why at 8:29 do the school children all sit on outdoor chairs?
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So...to keep myself from falling into an existential void during this final air battle, I started thinking about the decision to make this half-hour battle. I mean, really, would this be interesting to anyone? It really is at least 30 minutes, and there's very little going on. You have people staring up at the sky and cheering every so often. Then, you have the same four repeated scenes...over and over. Children wouldn't be interested in this...or at least, I can't imagine that they would be for this long. So...is it directed toward children? If not, I can't imagine adults enjoying this, either.
Or...do the Japanese just have a different definition of what makes an entertaining movie?
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How the hell have I never noticed that that's Sonny Chiba?
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Yet another Japanese kid named Kenny? Or is it supposed to be the same Kenny from the Gamera movie?
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Drinking game: take a shot every time a group of characters run somewhere.
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5:36 I'm surprised they didn't do a copyright-suit-avoiding version of Suicide Is Painless.
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And I know, "repeat to yourself it's just a show", but it made far more sense that Mike and the bots would be tortured by these films by Dr.F's experimentations from Deep 13 than it does that Pearl is in ancient Rome and somehow sending them movies.
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Hey, in defense of this film, I bet if I were 5 years old (and maybe back in the 60s), this would rock. Or uh, be somewhat entertaining. Anyone with 5 year-olds care to chime in?
... Sonny Chiba, Iron Sharp 5evr
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New Cinema Edition of, "Invasion of the Neptune Men" now showing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QGwP_DM59Kc
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when Joel said "we got through monster a-go-go we can get through anything" he spoke too soon. Good thing he was off the ship for this movie
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I totally forgot that this movie broke the guys. Crow was basically 1000% done ten mins in.
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The comment about the rod - 46:28 - being Crystal Gayle's curling iron makes no sense. Gayle was known for her very NOT curly, very straight hair.
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This movie proves the time dilation thing from Einstein.
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Maybe they should've ordered the eye-lash mites to "LEAVE THE BRONX. YOU ARE ORDERED TO LEAVE THE BRONX." I mean, it worked in Escape 2000...right?
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The Noh theater gag is one of the funniest they ever did - very classical, reminds me of "Hu's on Third"
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I'll have to admit; I'm a sucker the Japanese sci-fi movies. My jaws are hurting from smiling the whole movie and host segments.
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How can they trust the doctor when he is voiced by the Phantom of Krankor? I keep waiting for him to do the laugh.
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@ 38:10 there are office chairs spinning and falling about. HOW did the aliens aquire American office furniture on their planet!!
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I learned recently that Space Chief was played by Sonny Chiba, who would later go on to play Hattori Hanzo in Kill Bill who ran a sushi bar. This means he really was, as Crow points out, Space 'Chef'.
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1:14:29
"Not the Hitler building! Where are people going to get all of their Hitler memorabilia?!"
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I wonder if George Takai did any voice work on this movies.
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Watching it here and there and just notice a Bill Maher reference. He's not too different today but more...he could use more pot to chill out.
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By far on of my very favorites. I fall asleep at night watching this. Always makes me laugh and puts me in a good mood before bed.
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Good point Scooter Antreides! If the Neptunians could disguise their big azz spacesuits to appear as humans, it would have been so much more fun if they had chosen to appear as Japanese bikini beach babes!
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RuPaul?
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this movie needed the Thunder Megazord fighting Goldar....or something better than LP-losing Neptunian Krankor-Wannabes...
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uhhhgg, that felt like Prince of Space beta, and it was not pretty. Krankor totally saves the day.
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8:30 Um, phrasing?
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About that Hitler building... Was is a WWII museum or something? Anyone know? Or just a random Hitler building?
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Ha-ha... Tojo didn't die in a car.
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I think Pearl was channeling Shatner there for a moment.
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It sounds like Bill Corbett is playing Krankor in that skit where he visits the SOL. Is it Bill? If it is, how did they do that?
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These old, black and white Japanese monster/goofy-kid films are really a chore, and you've got to be working or messing with photoshop at the same time otherwise watching this would be impossible.
I'm only watching this just for a sense of completion.
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31:44 - It's the Asian Ben Carson!
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Lol. How bad is it when Fantom of Krankor saves the day!
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I think that this episode and Prince of Space have two of the cleverest host segments in the series: the wormhole time dilation thing and the Noh theater. There are other really excellent host segments (the "Previously on..." from The Deadly Bees comes to mind), but I think these are extremely clever.
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11:58 One of Servo's best riffs of all time
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"I get it, Mike." Bless your heart, Gypsy.
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One Neptunian's epic adventure through the galaxy in a mad frenzy over the loss of his favorite record.
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Dude!! SPACE CHIEF looks like PROTOMAN (Mega Man's brother)
http://megaman.wikia.com/wiki/File:Protoman10.png
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No seriously, why does the music sound as though it's written and performed by Stalin's house band?
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Does anyone else think that the kid in the light gray beanie sound just like Vincent Van Gopher from the Deputy Dog cartoons?
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41:09 "The electro-barrier is good." I like it VERY MUCH.
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Gave this a laugh just for the Krankor bit.
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www.annotatedmst.com/neptunemen/index.htm
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It seems quite plausible that Japan would have something called a "Roji panty complex."
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I love movies (see also Fire Maidens of Outer Space) where the guys can be distracted by something in the theater or leave it entirely, yet there's so little action in the movie we don't miss anything. This episode from the fourth host segment to the credits is just one of the best chunks of riffing for me!
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The Noh sketch reminds me of another Abbot and Costello imitation. This one was a little more direct. Comedian back in 80's who was an excellent impressionist did his version of Who's on First (Abbot and Costello's voices), save the sketch is a discussion of the Iran-Iraq conflict.
"There's this guy in charge of Iraq that they keep talking about. But I don't know his name. What is the name of that leader?"
"Husein."
"I dunno whose sayin' this. I just want to know the guy's name."
Other mix ups through the sketch.
Saddam = Sit down.
Iran = I ran.
Irac (I-Rock pronunciation) = I walk.
There were other misinterpretations, but it has been way too long since I saw that sketch.
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You know, even though the Roman times story arc isn't really a favorite, that IS a very nice matte painting in the background of the set.
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I may turn Mike saying "Can't get enough of that Sugar Crisp" into a ringtone.
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The weird thing is--except for a few minor details--this is almost exactly the same movie as Prince of Space...Only Prince of Space is a riot: One of the most enjoyable films ever shown on MST3K--while THIS movie sapped my will to live :P
What a difference one simple Phantom of Krankor makes!
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duh duh duh duduhduh...eat it movie!!!!
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read between the lines kids.....
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I'm really impressed by the little bits of food glued to Mike's face after they kill off the eyelash mites. Whoever made those did a good job.
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You've really got to appreciate a group of alien invader who anyone with 2 functioning limbs could defeat hand-to-hand.
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18:56 So, since the Ma gauge is fluctuating up and down, does that mean it's a YO-YO MA??
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Movie, it's "laboratory" not "lavatory".
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n'est-ce pas! n'est-ce pas!
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No matter how many times I watch this episode, Servo's losing it during the stock footage at the end floors me ever time.
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I have a question: Brain Guy is about to use a noose to hang himself...but he's supposed to be just a brain. So would killing his body really kill him? Clearly, he wouldn't be able to communicate in the same way, but if his brain is really independent of his body, then, killing the body wouldn't do anything to solve his problem. Right?
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"Space Chief failed miserably, and tried to cover up his shame!!"
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Fight choreography by the 4th grade.
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Noh theatre. I think I will go watch "Vampire Hunter D."
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I love this epi! It has some of the best skits and riffs ever! Definitely in my top five list! "Gamera, get back in your cage!" Oh, and the one about a copy of Middle America.
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Ok, I just looked up eyelash mites...DON'T DO IT!
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Can't help but notice Krancor wasn't in the credits.
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"The most exciting part of the movie is the countdown. Will he reach one, will he remember the next number?"
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While the movie was a big pile of stinkburger, I enjoyed it thoroughly because of the gang's riffing. I especially enjoyed Tom's little jumps when ever he said "Hey!" and all their slowly going crazy towards the end. Definitely a gem.
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1:04:38 "I just LOVE her earring," the director said.
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Why did they separate these films? They are supposed to be a serial. Maybe too much of this would make people stop watching. I find these Toei movies hard to watch even with the SOL crew riffing them.
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Operation gross eye is one of the funniest if not the funniest opening skits ever, it shoulda won an emmy.
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Alas, if only I could also of had Krankor show up to buoy my spirits during my tragic and agonizing viewing of Battlefield Earth.
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SPOILER ALERT ! ! !- This movie really blows.
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I had Rojipantycomplex as a child when I was too young to appreciate the cure.
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1:02:07 The Japanese Dan Rather!
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Why the hell do these kids have lawn chairs in their classroom?
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If the Neptune invaders have the power to masquerade as humans, why did they appear as male soldiers in Geisha make-up?
If it's just an illusion, couldn't they have looked like anything they wished?
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at 29:22 that kid said "Our reactor, they BLEWED up our reactor!" What a missed opportunity for the guys! That's almost as good as "it dived into the river" from Gamera. This line is called back in only a couple episodes. Mostly Gamera Vs. ___ ones.
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21:40 ... Who's on FIRST!
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Scientists labor to find out just 'What the HELL' is the deal with Japan.
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What. A. Turdburger.
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either these aliens are on Xanax, or they evolved from sloths. did anyone get a look at how many toes they have?