907 - Hobgoblins
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Comments (126) Best Riffs (336)
Riffs you quote here will appear randomly in the above.
"Kid Snickers?" "Iced Chicken?" Oh ,"Swiss Knickers!" "Lint Kicker!"
No... "Fish Picker!" (Yeah. "Fish picker!")
"Pig Licker" i think. So, a man who licks pigs, or perhaps liquor made from pigs.
In an unforeseen tragedy, the two actors were NOT in the car at the time of the crash.
"And you know what a man wants when he's been away for two months..."
"No, what does he want?"
Belly dancing lessons?

I guess I didn't have any preconceived notions about Rick Sloane's weight. I guess I'm not a RACIST like you, Mike!
You know, Mike, one thing I learned from this movie is that Daphne is a slut, and Amy wasn't fun until she became a slut.

Why do you think I spent the last 30 years of my life here?
Low SATs?
Okay, we'll take your literature, but we're trying to watch our program right now!

I'll also tell you about my problematic urethra, if you'll follow me.
These are the stairs. Stairs are your hips' worst enemies.
Can we have a law, that in the future, films have to be made by filmmakers?
hes really my mentor. he taught me how to love a woman, from across the street, through a telescope.
Part of me is laughing i think ... that's the part of me that hates life

He files an insurance claim for $700 worth of red shorts.

This is a real well thought-out makout spot! They must get public funding.

One of the towering heroes of Grenada.

Ah, the 'Dangerous Loner' model home!

"Paint my muscle car prune color, please!"

Yes, yes. Go all the way in there, shut the door firmly behind you, and die. Good.

She's the kind of girl you bring home to meet Mother, if Mother is a cigaretty, retired hooker!
Now, see here we see him LEAVING a parking space, its an entirely different kind of shot...It’s a GOOD movie!
What is this, Coach's brother, here?

"I want you to treat me like dirt"
Like fill dirt?
"Spill your drinks on me"
No, They cost 4 bucks each!
"You gotta look like you belong." Like the over-acting extra over there.
The worst that would happen is that one of its plastic eyes would fall out and he'd choke on it.
there are so many great riffs in this episode so i will start with PAINT MY MUSCLE CAR PRUNE COLOR PLEASE lol im sure i will post more as im continue watching this episode for the 50000th time lol

Crow "This is one of those movies that's just as famous for it's great soundtrack" Tom "Yeah, Hobgoblins is usually on a double billing with The Harder They Come.... Oh who am I kidding, no it isn't."

This makes me want to dig out my extensive Adam Ant collection.

Oh Jeez, oh lady, this is gonna be so great...oh...I...Oh,I'm done. Sorry.
OK, we're going to sit here and watch this movie. *commercials play* D'oh!

In an unforeseen tragedy; the two actors were not in the car at the time of the crash.

Did you know that Nick went on to play.......pong in his underwear and drink beer.

So did the ad for the job read: 'wanted..whiny, half-wit coward!' ????

[ 'I've got all the time in the world!'} [ " Well ok then...Call Me Ishmael" ]

You never know when a Relay Race will show up at the front gate!

Maybe the Great Carnac answers are stored in there?! Yes!!! (in your best Ed McMahon voice)

♫We're on the road to nowhere! ♫ Come on inside ♫

Nick's a smoking husk right now. He won't mind if we take his van!
I would really love to get out of the rat race and guard a U-Store-It
"I just want you to stay clear of it." "Oh, I understand." And I don't really care anyway.
"Why didn't you listen to me?!" Because you're old. I mean, would you listen to you?

Proof there's no life after drama club.

Scram, it's the owner of the house! We have to shoot the movie somewhere else!

Now Nick's going to declare martial law, loot his museums and call in an air strike!

Is that a condom she has hanging from her blouse?

Hey, the end credits! It was a terrible movie but at least it was short!
Tell me again why they have an elaborate security system, but they dont LOCK anything.
I just want to measure and see if you will fit in the incinerator.
You know this IS hell, y'know. Now when we meet people, we'll be able to report what hell is like.
¨Oh my God¨---If this is your God, you have a serious ontological crisis.....
Now come on Nick... oh yeah, he burned to death. Oh well.

"Did I ever tell you what I did in the war?" Shot off my toe and got out.

-"It's really a long story."
-"I've got all the time in the world."
-Oh, okay then. Call me Ishmael...
Y'know, this IS Hell--and now when we meet people, we'll be able to report what Hell is like...
I just want to be brave for my horrible, frigid, non-supportive girlfriend!
He's really my mentor, he taught me how to truly love a woman... From across the street... Through a telescope.
I can also tell you about my problematic urethra, if you'll follow me...
Yes, yes, I had been doing quite a bit of crack that day as I recall.
"Those creatures... the vault... I tried" ... sentence fragments... just phrases....
Meet the hobgoblins! Frankie, Snifffles, Bounce-Bounce, and The Claw!
Can we have a law that in the future, films have to be made by filmmakers!
Sometimes Kathrine Hepburn shows up, we have to chase her out of here.
So we sent our armies to the Gulf War with garden shovels and grass rollers?
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The dialogue in this movie is super!
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Finding out Cliff from Veronica Mars is in this is like finding out that Spalding Gray did a porno or Tom Hanks' first was a slasher movie. Thanks, Cinema Snob!
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Wait... Daran Norris?
Dinkelberg!!!
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Three words define this movie... Club Scum
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10:22 - Tom, it's Cerberus, not Cerebus.
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I think the Fontanelles might rock the hardest of all in-plot MST3K bands
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"Okay, so ONE woman exists! That means ALL women exist!? Name me ONE other woman! Go ahead...."
Uh...Mr. B Natural???
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I LUV how, after the protracted garden tool fight, Daphne and Nick disappear into the back of the panel van, which then rocks back and forth for a whole 25 seconds, before they emerge looking disheveled! GOOD LOViN'!
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There are some MST3K films that may be, arguably, worse than "Hobgoblins" overall. But you would be hard pressed to find another film that is as agressively stupid!
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What a crappy "stinger" selection!
It totally should have been 18:16 - 22 !
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New Cinema Edition of, "Hobgoblins" is now playing...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3ptZf8LipEQ
Happy Halloween! 🎃
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The hobgoblins are attracted to bright light. So this guy's friends were the only people in LA with their lights on?
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This movie was written by a 13 year old boy, right?
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Wait. NO. NOOO. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO. Links are down!
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So, if Servo has a hoverskirt and no legs, when he went back in the time machine and met Rick Sloane what did he kick him with as he has no feet? LOL
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only thing that old guy's golf cart could outrun would be Kalgon's ENFORCER from Space Mutiny....
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I love mike and the bots in this but...this has got to be their WORST FILM EVER!
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The hoe fight is both funny and irritating. A guy with military combat training challenges a civilian with no combat training to a garden hoe fight. Then military guy's girlfriend calls him "My hero" while civilian's girlfriend is embarrassed and disappointed. What?
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37:08 MUPPET BABIES, WE MAKE OUR DREAMS COME TRUEEEE!
MUPPPET BABIES, WE'LL DO THE SAAAAME, FOR YOUUUU!!!!
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always be wary of movies that are written, directed, and produced by the same person
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The car the shorts-wearing guy drives Fantasia to Reputation Road in is a post-1975 AMC Hornet Sportabout. Source: I own one.
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37:13 They're dancing to the Muppet Babies cartoon theme
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Certain celebs like Leaf Garret now riff internet vids on Tru TV's The World's Dumbest. Sweet irony in a way. But I don't know if that show is still going.
Funny when a voice actor from Fairly Oddparents is here. Especially when Trixie Tang is my Avatar. Ever met Cosmo, Trixie?
"My life was too perfect to have Fairies."
You did seem lonely despite your popularity, Trixie.
"I had Veronica and the other popular kids."
But most of them were really not your....
"Don't start that again, marijuana breath."
Okay okay. Would you tell crow that women exist as...you're one.
"He'll just dismiss me as something like a Bigfoot sighting video, and I do guy things too....yeah."
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"These honor system banks are never gonna make it."
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"He would never want me to see anything that was rated X... In fact, he polices all my movies for moral rectitude. We only watch reruns of Leave It To Beaver, and we've never touched another human being. I'm surprised he even let me out of the kitchen!"
Come on, 80s, I remember you being less repressed than that.
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So Hobgoblin was made during Truffaut's little know "puppets and nitrous oxide" years.
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I love Big Puppet.
Seriously, I don't know what it is about this episode and others where the movies are just as unendurable (like Castle Of Fu Manchu). There's a some dread-filled re-watchings before the riffs take on a power of their own and I can't wait to subject myself to it all again. :D (Also, the host segments in this one are all genius, which helps.)
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Amy also was in "Space Muteny...errr Mutiny" as the lady who died but stayed employed to pay her taxes , and student loan....
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The guy who plays Roadrash in this is the same dude who was Maynard (the pervert pawn shop owner) in Pulp Fiction. Still pretty scummy...
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there's a line in the credits about the hobgoblins imitating celebrity voices but they never do that in the movie.
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Isn't the Club Scum bouncer the pawn shop guy from Pulp Fiction?
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The hoe fight is by far one of the funniest commentaries ive ever seen xD
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club scum, also known as the high school cafeteria where the kids were playing with their dads video camera and accidentally made Hobgoblins.
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This movie literally caused me physical pain. Mike and the bots riffing did absolutely nothing to soften the blow. This made Troll 2 look like a masterpiece.
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At some point in this film, the leading man finally gets a hoe in his Camaro.
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Apparently I saw this before, it was only until the riveting garden tool fight when my brain remembered.
I blocked it, now I know someday my brain will just quit on me. It will be plain revenge.
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5:05 - I've seen that building before. The security guards better keep an eye out for Mick Jagger and David Bowie. We can't have another incident.
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So is it a midwest thing to be utterly unphased by the rando appearance of a venerable woodpaneled AMC Eagle?
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I love the names that Mike and the 'Bots come up with for the bouncer at Club Scum. Back Sweat, Toe Cheese, Butt Crack! Too funny!!
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I cant believe that there would ever be a movie so bad that even the MST3K treatment couldn't make it bearable, but this IS that movie. Even with the boys riffing I cant bear watching this one. Give me Manos, give me Monster a go-go, give me a Roger Corman, Ed Wood marathon, but this...this...this
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Thom Servos beak moves when hes reading. :)
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One of my favorite eps....
Came here today to share that I saw a license plate sporting "KSKCKR." True story.
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Well that was Hobgoblins, What do you think Trixie?
"Even real slutty women feel insulted by this. Why was this movie made? To stop people from having sex? Because I'm not having any of that anytime soon now."
Come to think of it, I'm ready to join an abstinent priesthood myself.
"Sign me up as a Nun. Let's go."
XD
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Here's my favorite Mike Nelson era riff: It's the 80's - do a lot of coke and vote for Ronald Reagan.
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This movie, more than almost any other (except Manos) makes me ask the question: What the hell is wrong with everyone in this movie?
Seriously, why did they make a movie where every single character is an inconsiderate turd?
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I love Daph's "can do spirit" sexuality and her popularity at Club Scum. She does need her own spin off movie.
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So...where did they find footy PJs that would fit Mike? ...or am I simply making an assumption that Mike's PJs are footy PJs?
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Pixie isn't wearing gogo boots, she's got white leg warmers and white shoes on.
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Finally got a chance to watch Manos and Danger!! Death Ray. This movie, honestly, is Oscar worthy compared to those movies. At least it's actually "finished" and shows minimal guy's butts. 80s schlock horror movie heaven, and this has a ton of hilarious riffs.
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They are making love in a chevy van, and thats NOT allright with me! crying as the doors close......
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The old guy in this movie reminds me of a sub I used to get sometimes back in high-school named Coach LaRue. It's funny because we used to make fun of how old he was. Because he was ancient, he was a stowaway on Noah's arch, and his blood-type was discontinued. I tried to get him a birthday present once but I couldn't afford one after buying the candles. You know what he did in the war? He sacrificed cattle to Marduk.
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Some of my classmates made a video not unlike the video Crow made for my high school sociology class.
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Mike's attempts to wrangle the bots during the opening credits reminds me of when I have to pack up my cats to go to the vet.
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c'mon baby do the exposition! droning on and about important plot points
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Those grenade chucking scenes are absolutely ridiculous. What the hell kind of grenades do that??
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Killer Hand-Puppets!!! Tonight on a very special Sesame Street.
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This one gets my vote for funniest episode. It's the 80s, do a lot of coke and vote for Ronald Reagan.
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As a teen when this movie was made it sickens me when I see young people wearing similar fashions. This was not a time that in any way deserved to come back.
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Paint my muscle car prune color, please.
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I honestly want to see this movie remade with Daphne as the hero. Because all she wants to do is party and screw, she's apparently living her dream, making her almost immune to the hobgoblins's power. It could actually be a really good horror/comedy. Instead of being Hobgoblins. >.>
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For some reason I have really put off watching this one. I know it's supposed to be one of the best, and I've seen little clips of it before, but I really haven't wanted to watch it. Maybe it's because I know it's suppose to be such a rip-off of Gremlins, maybe it's because I dread the acting I'm going to see in an obvious horror film...I don't know. But tonight, I'm finally going for it.
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Pig Kicker
Fish Picker
Stick Flicker
Fig Sticker
Sick Pickle
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I can't help but feel the old man was kind of OK with the Hobgoblins killing Kevin's predecessor.
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Sad, really. All this murder and mayhem could have been prevented by a vault door that actually locks and/or a padlock on the outer door.
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How has this not reached 100 laughs yet? As Gob Bluth would say, "C'mon!"
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Lol, man, I'm glad my mom never made me watch Hobgoblins (or blew me up) for jumping on the couch. I must remember to give her a hug for that next time I see her. :P
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The opening segment always makes me sigh and say, "Boys, you've been in space too long."
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While I hesitate to ascribe ANYTHING positive to this movie, I have to admit that I find it moderately interesting that Nick's deepest desire is not focused on sex. It's about being the big war hero.
It's not amazing, but it is moderately interesting.
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So...the old man has had the vault rigged to blow up for 30 years. WHY didn't he just kill them off before? There's really no explanation for that, and I really don't get it. He sees them killing everyone who comes in contact with them, and yet, he lets them live in the vault? What kind of idiot is he?
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This movie reminds me of watching my brother brush out his ridiculous mullet back in'86. It's almost equally as horrifying.
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I could be alone in this, but I found the Club Scum band on Youtube...They're called The Fontanelles, and they're quite honestly not too shabby-- if you like late 80s Dark Wave/Post-Punk.
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This is one of those rare episodes where the film's dialogue is just as funny if not funnier than the riffing. Donkey mud wrestling. Need I say more??
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1:08:40 And this is where we get our site decoration.
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People acting strangely ? L.A. ? Right
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There's something perversely admirable about a film that dares to not feature a single likeable character.
Lookit what we're handed here: Old Blithering Idiot lets his partner: Bland Teen Stereotype get horribly murdered by alien monsters. He then hires Annoying Whiny Douche to replace him. On his second day on the job, Annoying Whiny Douche manages to release said monsters who, despite having an entire city of victims to choose from, concentrate all of their effort on Annoying Whiny Douche's friends. There's his girlfriend: Frigid Emasculating Shrew, and his "pals": Scrawny Repugnant Whore and her boyfriend: Greasy Macho Scumbag....last and assuredly least is the 5th wheel: Effeminate Pervert Loser.
What a cast!
There is NO ONE and NOTHING to root for in this film save for the sweet release of death.
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Meet the Hobgoblins!!
Franky, Sniffles, Bounce-Bounce, and The Claw!!
(I had a Bounce-Bounce stuffed toy growing up....oh the memories!!)
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Jean Paul Sartre and the Heartbreakers.
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The opening credits had me in tears.
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Watched this last night and it was painful. So. Bad. Even with the excellent riffing, we could barely make it to the end. This film makes "Manos" look like a cinematic masterpiece. I needed to be consoled and comforted after watching this.
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Someone has a playlist for H*bg*blin:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bGZKZUyTC4Q&list=PL8CC9C163319D5193
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Damn you Rick Sloane! DAMN YOUUUUU!
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This is one of the few UNBEARABLE episodes of the MST3K franchise! I've gotta give kudos to Mike & the bots for making it somewhat bearable
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Piggybacking off the success of Gremlins, not unlike Critters, Ghoulies and my personal favorite, Munchies, we have the steaming pile of awful. Awesome.
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The 80s was the only time you could get away with street fighting with nun-chucks as your weapon of choice. And they always bring a pair for their opponent. That takes the kind of foresight you wouldn't expect from a person who goes around picking fights with nun-chucks.
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What! Where is my full episode!? Am I seriously going to have to get my dvd's out! What fresh prehistoric hell is this!
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Tape, paste, staples...wishing for pieces to stick together.
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wheres a FULL version?? its just chunks of the episode now...!
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Man, this movie gave me nightmares. I dreamed that I had to watch it again. And then.... again.
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This movie should be popular even WITHOUT the riffing.
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The cast's 20 year reunion: http://youtu.be/aOZEDU9RNA0
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OK, am I wrong, or this gone again?!?!?!?!?! This is one of my favorites!
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Fish Picker!
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Wow, a truly inspiring disasterpiece.
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The club emcee went on to be the voice of Cosmo on the Fairly Godparents...from Joel Grey to Cosmo. What a journey!
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Go to 1:08:41 for Dummy-Mike's Super Happy Fun Nose Picking Time!
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Great riffs, painful movie. The where are the women segment was the best part of the entire experience :)
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Been catching up FINALLY with the greatest show ever made. This episode is brilliant! Seriously!
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I would pay real money to be able to buy a hobgoblin puppet/plush. Both because of this episode, and because I just think they're so damn cute.
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Servo fleeing in unbridled terror after seeing Alan Dermarderosian's name gets me every time!
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Boy, this sure is a bad movie, won't you?
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Yay! The first episode of MST3k I ever watched.. I'll never forget how absolute amazed I was with this show!
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Until I saw this episode I thought the clip they used in the theme song was Mike on a surfboard... until I got a good look at it and saw it had his face on it. I don't think you can blame me for not understanding what was going on.
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Looking at imdb it appears that something called Retromedia is marketing the original version of this movie. Apparently they know how bad it is because the cover art features a picture of a large breasted bikini bimbo who isn't even in the movie.
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It´s on again!!! It´s on again!!!! YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yup, Hobgoblins nerd here! The 8th collection that this is on is just way too expensive and out of print. $80+ on eBay......
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Somebody, please, put the "!" on episode list for this, please.
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Seriously, a copyright claim by Rick Sloane? He wants to lay claim to this?
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Pig Liquor!
Fish Picker!
Dish Rigger!
Pickled Ginger!
Swig Bingers!
Grieg Singers!
Spring Wigglers!
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Okay people asked me about the hobgoblins remake like a month ago and I just today found out how to see replies lol so sorry. Rick Sloan actually submitted the original movie to MST3K himself. And the "sequel" makes refrences and in jokes to mst3k episode, plus that song the mst3k guys did "hobgoblins hobgoblins whatcha gonna do with those hobgoblins" they used a version of that song for the remake. I know you might not believe me but here is the Wikipedia page. Also you can get the movie off of the rifftrax website should you wish to see the thing. At least you used to be able to.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hobgoblins_2
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Bobo should have called Loveline. Wouldn't even have been their weirdest call.
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At 42:46, he totally closes the door like a muppet.
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I knew it was going to be a bad fight scene when he said "Okay, hold onto it like this" and already he was wrong.
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12:45 Billy Jack actually already has a COUPLE of cheap sequels. But they're on par with the original at least.
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"Hobgoblins.
Hobgoblins.
What'cha gonna do with those
Hobgoblins?"
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Can anyone tell me what the exclamation marks before the episode title on here mean??? just wondering. Random episodes have that. . .
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Yaay! Hobgoblins is back!
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The club MC is the same guy who does Cosmo's voice on Fairly Oddparents. I feel bad for him...
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Get ready for spit take, " SPIT TAKE AWAY!"
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Oh God, that pathetic little jump at the end of the Club Scum song scene.
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So... Dennis's fantasy was to perform a rock song on a really tall stage?
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OK, so the protagonists of this film are the kind of douchebags who stand around right in front of a doorway. Great job pushing my hatred buttons, movie.
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Snazzy shades, Tom.
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Unfortunately, all the host segments were edited from this one. Still a classic worth watching, though!
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The interior of "Club Scum" looks an awful lot like my elementary school cafeteria....
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god i love this. just found it.
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I think the 80s just threw up all over me.
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I love the "Where are all the women?" segment!