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Somewhere, a bobble-head Reaper bobs along in agreement: A head without a body... is like a day without sunshine. [513]
In Between the Seconds

Wall Posts

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Seems to this ol' Reaper that "hug the bunny" is no worse a euphemism for death than "kick the can," "buy the farm," or many other ways of putting it.

Who knows - that expression may even offer some soothing moments of childhood recall from some folks to help make that next step easier...

"Hug the bunny" is now in my lexicon to stay - accidental invention or no.


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Makes you wonder what that one tree did to piss off the universe:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKHaUPNEKVg

Unless you like slasher movie soundtracks, turn your speakers off / down.

That one bolt did all the cutting, splitting, and kiln-drying of that green wood.
Just stack it up and sell it by the cord. Geez.

Anyone for golfing a thunderstorm, in spikes, standing in a water hazard, waving a metal club around in the air?

See you at the bar in The Big Clubhouse on Cloudhole 19...


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Speaking of food:
Here's a free sample from the geniuses at Bad Lip Reading:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kQTW7Pd1vqc

TIP: Be VERY sure to try out ALL their "Star Wars" musical spoofs, too!


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*** News Update ********************
SPANKY HAS NO GANG, BUTT BUTTER SELLS OUT IN MAR-A-GULAGAGO!


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Asshat of the Year Award, already? It's only March!
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-56521173

Here's hoping that $#%&* garage starts receiving pickup truck bedsfuls of pennies paying for customer's repairs.


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I can hardly wait to get the new DumFone 4000™ phone...
Laydeeez and Gennamin -- the all-new i pluribus unum!


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You thought 2020 was a wonder to behold?!
Step right up! Hurrahy, hurrahy, hurrahy!
See The Man in the Hat Exhibit!
And spin Reaper's magic Wheel-of-Realities and see what you can win!

Click....click....click....click...... annnnnd.... you've won:


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THIS IS PROGRESS? First, there were the reports of mysterious microwave radiation injuries to diplomats' brains and ears, requiring doc probes to "open up and say 'ahhh'".....
https://www.bbc.com/news/world-asia-china-56196977


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Does The Cheese Shop know if this is in stock today...
... or if the cat's got to it? I'm feeling a bit peckish for something smoky...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMUF9f1veLw


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Ah, those crazy, lazy days of summer. I mean, winter.


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Another musical interlude for history buffs & philosophers, Part 2:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CsLhNxzwK1Y

Verse 1]
All the stories have been told
Of kings and days of old
But there's no England now (there's no England now)
All the wars that were won and lost
Somehow don't seem to matter very much anymore
All the lies we were told (all the lies we were told)
All the lies of the people running round
Their castles have burned
Now I see change
But inside we're the same as we ever were

[Chorus]
Living on a thin line
Tell me now, what are we supposed to do?
Living on a thin line (living on a thin line)
Tell me now, what are we supposed to do?
Living on a thin line (living on a thin line)
Living this way, each day is a dream
What am I, what are we supposed to do?
Living on a thin line (living on a thin line)
Tell me now, what are we supposed to do?

[Verse 2]
Now another century nearly gone (gone)
What are we gonna leave for the young?
What we couldn't do, what we wouldn't do
It's a crime, but does it matter?
Does it matter much, does it matter much to you?
Does it ever really matter?
Yes, it really, really matters

[Chorus]
Living on a thin line (living on a thin line)
Tell me now, what are we supposed to do?
Living on a thin line (living on a thin line)
Tell me now, what are we supposed to do?

[Bridge]
Then another leader says
"Break their hearts and break some heads"
Is there nothing we can say or do?
Blame the future on the past
Always lost in bloody guts
And when they're gone, it's me and you

[Chorus]
Living on a thin line
Tell me now, what are we supposed to do?
Living on a thin line (living on a thin line)
Tell me now, what are we supposed to do?
Living on a thin line


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Care to read the original post axed earlier today?
Click here for both parts.


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OK, just to be REALLY clear:
For the SECOND time - Get a clue! Death threats do NOT work with psychopomps. Duh!

Go play with your BatGuano Krazy© Flat Earth kit somewhere else - scenic Death Valley springs to mind. Now, be so good as to accompany these nice young men in their clean white coats - they're your travel agents, and they're here to take you away, haha! To the happy home with trees and flowers and chirping birds and basket weavers who sit and smile and twiddle their thumbs and toes and they're coming to take you away ha-haaa-haaa-haaaaaa!


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Good for whatever ails ya:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yzLT6_TQmq8

The word is about, there's something evolving,
Whatever may come, the world keeps revolving...
They say the next big thing is here,
That the revolution's near,
But to me it seems quite clear
That's it's all just a little bit of history repeating.
The newspapers shout a new style is growing,
But it don't know if it's coming or going,
There is fashion, there is fad
Some is good, some is bad
And the joke rather sad,
That it's all just a little bit of History repeating.
And I've seen it before
And I'll see it again
Yes I've seen it before
Just little bits of history repeating
Some people don't dance, if they don't know who's singing,
Why ask your head, it's your hips that are swinging
Life's for us to enjoy
Woman, man, girl and boy,
Feel the pain, feel the joy
Aside set the little bits of history repeating
Just little bits of history repeating
And I've seen it before
And I'l see it again
Yes I've seen it before
Just little bits of history repeating

RINSE AND REPEAT.

You're welcome.


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Count the "bums" (or is "bungs")?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VNUgsbKisp8

Could life really have been so calming... or is all an illusion?

(Hold on - gimme at least a FEW relaxing moments of battered naiveté before this dream goes down in flames, too.)

Cheers.


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Re: 1/20/21 Bernie meme

Bernie continues to have a fine sense of humor about life:
https://www.cnn.com/videos/politics/2021/01/24/bernie-sanders-reacts-to-biden-inauguration-memes-bash-sotu-vpx.cnn

... and, true to his word, finds a way to do good with the exposure:
https://www.cnn.com/2021/01/23/politics/bernie-sanders-sweatshirt-meme/index.html

Fine, gentlemanly lesson in being a good sport AND in doing others a good turn in the process. Nicely done, Bern.


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OK, just to be clear:
Get a clue - death threats do NOT work with psychopomps. Duh.

So, say Goodnight, Gracie...


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First, I started wondering why there aren't hieroglyphic emoticons.
Then I went looking. And found there are - sort of.

From one full year ago, shy a few hours (cosmic coincidence?), this:

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/22/arts/design/emojis-hieroglyphs-israel-museum.html

[ emotiglyphs go here for small-planet and nothing-new-under-sun ]


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So:

Ol’ Reaper reappears for rare & reverent reverie, ever the rapparee rapper - re: "Aper or Ra peer"? Ah, to pare a pair of pears, with peers, in spare parries, eh wot?

*
Huh. Just noticed it's 10/20/2020. Let's hope my humble reappearance here portends good laugh omens in this, the year of much Mayhem & Confusion.

[wink, wink - with finger-tapping alongside zee nose for good luck]


Jeff Lingenfelter - 9 months ago
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You are in my thoughts, Reap. Sending positive waves to you and sincerely hope you are ok.


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Torn about mentioning this on the Forum, in these death-filled days, but finally decided I couldn't let this event slip past unnoticed:

Farewell to Christo Vladimirov Javacheff (aka Christo), May 31, age 84. Despite the hype and misunderstandings, he was an amazing visual artist and concept pioneer.

Two of many articles published around the world in his send-off:

https://www.theguardian.com/artanddesign/2020/may/31/christo-artist-who-wrapped-the-reichstag-dies-aged-84

https://www.huffpost.com/entry/christo-artist-dead_n_5ed4ab72c5b64286c706b6ca

Until the next (and final) Installation for us all, sir... thank you. Rest well.


Jeff Lingenfelter - about 1 year ago
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I had typed you gotta have a bass fiddle in your hand instead of band, so I deleted it. Then I was too lazy to type it again.


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Yeah, so here's the deal: The Reaper Du Jour wasn't too cool for this version of reality. And, I'm having Restless Brain Syndrome during The Great Reset aka Lockdown USA. So: While I may not stop by as much these days for lots of reasons, but when I do, I'll share my Microscopic Giggle of the Day with you, avatar-wise.

Meanwhile: Mask up... keep your distance you damn dirty apes... and, as always: Here's the rub - scrub-a-dub-dub.

Forward, into the communal brain fog!


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Brace yourself for a crazy-wonderful earworm.

And now, a musical flashback moment for boot camp survivors:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kmAQS75YqOk


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You've reached the number you dialed. See you in a while.

BEEEEEEEEEP.


Jeff Lingenfelter - about 1 year ago
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Hey artist previously known as Reaper. I sure hope you're doing well. Hang in there (thinking of a cat calendar).


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Dire days/daze call for a name-and-avatar change-up. Onward toward a kinder, more gentle, and genteel reality where everything makes much more sense and is way more pleasant and fun.

If one is going to be Comfortably Numb, it helps to take along an ample supply of music and laughter.

So, dump all that cosmik debris - get on your feet an' do the Funky Alphonzo!


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Brace for impact / culture & dietary shock:
There is now "Post Hostess Twinkies Cereal."
One supposes this has a higher sugar content than even the Chocolate Frosted Sugar Bombs at Calvin's and Hobbes's house.


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NEED ALCOHOL-BASED HAND SANITIZER?

I get no cut of the proceeds here - just sharing some info that took me a while to find, re: where to still find such things online, now that stores have long been sold out, and finding any online is tricky, too.

Here you go, 62.5% alcohol base and a fair, non-gouging price for volume offered:

https://smile.amazon.com/Artnaturals-Alcohol-Sanitizer-Infused-Alovera/dp/B085PS82HF/ref=sr_1_1?dchild=1&keywords=Artnaturals+Alcohol+Based+Hand+Sanitizer+Gel+%282+Pack+x+7.4+Fl+Oz+%2F+220ml%29+Infused+with+Alovera+Gel%2C+Jojoba+Oil+%26+Vitamin+E+-+Unscented+Fragrance+Free+Sanitize&qid=1584142179&s=hpc&sr=1-1

Only drawback is that it won't ship out superfast. Place an order now for later? [shrug] Was what I wound up doing. A decent price-per-ounce break when you get two, so I went for it.

Got other similar info to swap? Share away!

(I posted over here as the link was so long and I seldom have luck converting long links into TinyURLs.)


TheLightningBug - about 1 year ago
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It really is a dirty shame that this never got released in the US with a dubbed version, or it surely would have made, if not the original series, then certainly the reboot:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dqWH474DnCc


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Quote of the Day:
When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained. ~ Mark Twain


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With all the revivals of great songs for movies, TV, and documentaries, WHY has this one been left out, d'yer think?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=91VN4X4P1s8

(Of course, there are millions more FINE tunes looking for resurrection...)


Jet Jaguar Abides - over 1 year ago
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Hey Reaper-Man, well I've officially joined the living here at Club Med....thanks for all the support, cheer and sage advice(or was that the Turkey seasoning..hmmm) Happy Holidays!


Jeff Lingenfelter - over 1 year ago
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Hey Reap, I meant to ask a while back, then realized I forgot. I would appreciate your tips and it's very kind of you to want to help me. out. I think it's getting worse and I really don't know why. I'm pretty laid back and don't let things bother me very much. But that doesn't mind my weird-ass mind isn't constantly racing about the craziest bat-shit stuff. I've watched so much Rifftrax lately I walk around in life doing riffs all the time in my head or out loud. Okay, I'll quit rambling. Again, thanks and you are a good dude.


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I don't like The Old Guy Getting Killed Channel.
- Hobgoblins

Still wondering what to make of this riff. The institutional worker in me objects, but the leisure-me approves, as no one should take their work home with them.


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Back long enough to pass along a musical mind-meltdown:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W780LSQHbYY

If you have any pesky braincells left over, here's how to show 'em the door:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZmaicurzPb0

Time to hit the pain meds again - this time, a little harder. : )


2 laughs

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*°*°*°*°*° CLEARANCE SALE! *°*°*°*°*°*°
After more decades than I can count, it appears I finally have enough points to retire from this Reaping gig and move into new areas of challenge, if not actual and outright relaxation. Toward that end, take a look among my yard sale career bricabrac, job souvenirs, assorted trinkets, and fine collection of famous last words! Pick up for a song what these babies originally cost me in entire orchestras! No offer refused! Bring your own bag and take 25% off your total! Huzzah!

The Grim Reaper | Nothing Personal, Just Business™
The Grim Reaper | Your tour guide to the other side
The Grim Reaper | Cease the Day
The Grin Reaper | Hey, What are YOU Grinning About?
The Wind Reaper | No, Nevermind - That One's Not Going Back Inside ME!
The Swim Reaper | I'm Doing the Underhanded Australiam Pub Crawl, Why?
The Whim Reaper | Winner of the Scythe Young Award™
The Trim Reaper | Wainscoting Done at Reasonable Rates
The Limb Reaper | Have Scythe, Will Travel™
The Chin-Wipin’ Reaper | Have Sushi Burrito, Will Daub a Lot
The Fringe Reaper | “Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were dying?”
The Gin Reaper | “Abra-cadaver!”
The Crimp Reaper | “Sorry, I can’t hear out of this eye.”
The Cramp Reaper | Not Naughts, just Naughty Knots
The Hymn Reaper | “There’s going to be some turbulence seeing as we have one wing.”
The Gym Reaper | “Pants, totally filled!”
The Kim Reaper | “My wallaby means a lot to me.”
The Pim’s Chocolate Cookie Reaper | Anything above 95º and I am just death warmed over!
The Rim Reaper | “A wheel slices into the crowd, killing three!”
The Tums© Reaper | RIP better mean Rest In Pizza!
The Vim Reaper | So, trouser browsers all around then!
The Win Reaper | Cash Flagg on the Moon, Baby!
The Yen Reaper | "My money's on the big guy!"
The Slim Reaper | “His underwear and his hat are interchangeable.”
The Work-a-Day Reaper | "That's the thing about a job like this. I never think 'I have to go to work tomorrow.' I just love it that much."
The Grimacing Reaper | “Ever kissed a dog? You know, right on the mouth?”
The Recalcitrant Reaper | “Back when NASA was family-owned and operated!”
The Crony Reaper | This is a stupid space program - I’m gonna go work for my uncle’s space program!
Last of the Wild Reapers | “Yippie-DIE-aye-AY!"
Last of the Wild Reapers | I’m gonna go walk in front of a bus.”
Last of the Wild Reapers 2: The Saga Limps Along Some | I’m gonna go kill myself again…”
The Idiotic Reaper | “Lucy, I’m dead!”
The Idiomatic Reaper | “Look at how dead he is!”
The Idiomatic Reaper (later that same night) | “Well, he’s still dead.”
The Idiomatic Reaper Dreams | “It’s as if he’s dead.”
The Swinging-Ladder Reaper | “There, I fixed it.”
The Principle of Reaper Junior High | "Hoodies will now be allowed. Bite me."
The Vengeful Reaper | “A wounded being that large isn’t good!”
The Custodial Reaper | Death rides comfortably with Central Moving & Storage.
The Stringer Reaper | "I better take my pants off and do some typing."
The Theatrical Numismatist Reaper | “I am being severely backlit!”
The Numismatist Reaper | "Hang on and I'll show you coin of the realm!"
The Crimp Reaper | Only the Numb Survive
The Crumb Reaper | Ah, Mr. Homeless People! Once again, we see that there is nothing that you can possess that I cannot take away!
The Sporting Reaper | “He should have worn a cup.”
The Grump Reaper | "You kids get off my lawn!"
The Frump Reaper | We are flabbergasted for you, so you can don’t have to - save your precious natural flabber and gast today!
The Gram Reaper | Souls Measured by Weight, Not Volume ™
The Chimp Reaper | An intriguing mix of genocide and modern dance
The Graham Reaper | Hold on! “S’mores & More" sale’s next week!
The Grommet Reaper | Yacht Clubs are just Holes in the Ocean and More!
The Tin Reaper | Try new Cromwell’s Condemned Soups™ today!
The Hamdinger Reaper | “Killed by vapor action.”
The Harumph Reaper | “Hey, wait! Didn't you see the Bridge of Death sign back there?”
The Alert Reaper | “Dead people have too much time on their hands.”
The Elusive Reaper | Don't tell Frank 'cause then I would have to kill him!
The Secretive Reaper | Enigmatic bastard, isn’t he?
The Reaper | ♪♫ Tooool Operatorrrr ♬♫
The Hometown Reaper | “I like to sleep with my head in a catcher's mitt!”
The Avuncular Reaper | “Never make light of boing, son.”
The Wiley Reaper | “Just as Jim closes in for the kill, so does Mutual of Omaha…close in for the kill.”
The Relaxing Reaper | “Tonight on Dr. Kevorkian, MD…”
The Exasperated Reaper | “Don't the dead just bug you? Come on, back me up.”
The Grinch Reaper | Calling me Frosty makes my snowballs itch
The Grinch Reaper | More Nog, Less Egg!
The Grinch Reaper | Less Eggnoggin’, More Toboggan!
The Grinch Reaper | Less Ponderin' with Noggin’s, More Dangerous Toboggans!
The Ham Reaper | " First, take one can of devil-dolled ham-and-puppet mix..."
The Jam Reaper | "Ooooh, sticky fingers, baby!"
The Cam Reaper | No, I just know about the Thrush pipes and Hooker headers.
The Cambot Reaper | Stop trying to rewind these DVDs, willya?!
The Lamb Reaper | Guess how many bags full I am today.
The Ram Reaper | If you keep honking your horn, I'm gonna make you blow something else, you nitwit!
The M’am Reaper | Good vending machine manners are never out of order.
The ‘Nam Reaper | [moment of silence]
The SAM Reaper | Incoming!
The Whamo Reaper | Free Frisbees for Life? Oh, If I get them down from the garage, you mean.
The Shazam! Reaper | Crap! I liked my OLD costume and powers BETTER!
The Gimp Reaper | “Death rides comfortably with Central Moving & Storage!”
The Compassionate Reaper | “Hold me closer, tiny Death.”
The Glam Reaper | “I'm half Bondo®.”
The Pam Reaper | Cooking Tip: Never store combustibles with your old people.
T.G. Reaper, Test Pilot | breaking the blood-brain barrier since 2013
The Hamdinger Reaper | The budget-stretcher that comes with its own life-size stretcher!™
The Spam Reaper | Fresh snouts for them with a nose for gnus!™
The Hamdinger Reaper | Packed eight to a can with care for family and friends - who'll all pack YOUR can without ANY! ™
The Cafetorium Reaper | “I’m a lunch lady at heart.”
The Dim Sum Reaper | “I’m a lunch lady at heart.”
The Heath Reaper | The Moor the Merrier
The Moor Reaper | The Moor the Merrier
The Slim Reaper | Does this hoodie make my scythe look big?
The Sim Reaper | Why settle for reality? ™
The Buttoned-Up Reaper | “Touch a button, things happen.”
The Buttoned-Down Reaper | “Touch a button, things happen.”
The Zen Reaper | “Touch a button, things happen.”
The Zen Reaper | “I dedicate this song to Thorazine.”
The Zen Reaper | Just Business. Nothing Personal™
The Biz Reaper | Just Business. Nothing Personal™
The Hymn Reaper | Peace is our Profession. (The “Rest” is up to you.)
The Brim Reaper | “Here’s your hat - what’s your hurry?”
The Grump Reaper | Cease the Day™
The Dim Reaper | “Well, here’s your problem - you’re dead!” | (this riff from "The Beast of Yucca Flats," is one I laughed at so hard, and for so long, when I first heard it, that I died a few more times, by accident)
The Yin-Yang Reaper | “His hat and his underwear are interchangeable.“
ReaperCo | Your Timekeepers - for Keepsakes and for Keeps™
The Grim Reaper | aka Frosty the Woe-Man
The Gift Reaper | Heeeeeeere’s SANTA!
The Reaper Tracks Santa's Every Move With Regret, Knowing that the Jolly Old Elf's "Sleighbell Runner 3000" Gig Could Have Been His IF He'd Had a Larger Downpayment and a Red Suit, NOT a Long Hoodie (with Mandatory Farm Implement Accessory). Dang.
The Gift Reaper | “Santa’s doing the forbidden dance!”
The Grinch Reaper | Come, we will drink a special yuletide tranya!
The Wassailing Reaper | “That's right - I said a whole case of vodka.”
The Solstice Reaper | "We can't all be the Honey Nut Cheerios honeybee."
The Grinch Reaper | Less Joggin’, More Toboggan!
The Grinch Reaper | The password is “Missile-Toe,” countersign: ”Keg-Nog”
The Grinch Reaper | Merry FilmMess & Happy HollyCheese!
The Grimms’ Reaper | Free Fairytales with Every Trip

Aloha!


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This scarecrow always freaks 'em out on the moors. It helps that I move it around from place to place now and then.


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Geez, these MLB training-review films are tough on the ol' ego!


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I just realized - this could help my golf swing!


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Try to do a favor for a couple lifeguard buddies...


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I got an award from the guys today - a photo showing me, out standing in my field...


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Are you game... or predator?
Sorry, it's a work-joke.


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In case you're wondering why The Muppets went off the air - the Chef had a nasty habit of betting with other's people's money... and shows.


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Now, you can star in your own 50's short! Go here & roll soundtrack!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xELDqIyrtNA

You're, uh, welcome.
- Bing! -


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NEWSFLASH: Now, new Fruit of the Loom© yogurt has Fruit on the Bottom! ™


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Another great use for material also used by our MST crew:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kU8OJAOMbPg

The visual fun kicks in about 2:50 or so on this great tune. : )


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Nope, not actually dead... yet.
Just feeling like a warmed-over version of it, as I alphabetically work my way through humanity's known diseases list.
Hope to see you again soon, hybrid ailments permitting. Cheers!


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Stay tuned for The Dim Sum Reaper, over most of these serving suggestions... uh, stations.


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“Well, here’s your problem - you’re dead!”
- riff from The Beast of Yucca Flats

I laughed so hard at this one I died a few more times, by accident.


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We're sorry - the number you dialed is not in service at this time. Please check back another time, or check your directory for Medically Renovated and/or Fully Healed Individuals. [Doooo-weeee-ooooo.] We're sorry - the number you dialed is not in service at this time. Please check back another time, or......


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Most people freak out when I show up singing this song to them...


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See? No need to fear the Reaper - just a tour guide, paying cosmic bills...



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My favorite summer blade is no substitute for that snowblower I sent back.


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Finally, a seasonal break - and some depth to our bench...


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The Reaper Tracks Santa's Every Move With Regret, Knowing that the Jolly Old Elf's "Sleighbell Runner 3000" Gig Could Have Been His IF He'd Had a Larger Downpayment and a Red Suit, NOT a Long Hoodie (with Mandatory Farm Implement Accessory). Dang.


Phantom Chicken of Crank Whore - over 2 years ago
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Back home again and taking it easy. Kind of back and kind of not. Spaced out but doing OK after the hospital's Screaming Skull Special. Thanks for the nice notes, thoughtballoons, and wordflowers!


Phantom Chicken of Crank Whore - over 2 years ago
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I'm with 'BUG' ... We Miss You, Reaper-Man ... ok, ok and Love You also ... there I said it ... Hey, that was pretty easy...Now please get your A** back so we can enjoy more of your Witty Repartee :o)'


TheLightningBug - over 2 years ago
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Come home, Reaper - we love and miss you fiercely.


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Hey everyone - Thanks for all the grins and support. You've been good pals and I appreciate the Wit Exchange (like the Invention Exchange but with words) we have here. It's been a fun run. I’ve really enjoyed gabbing ’n’ grinning with everyone. I have medical miles to log, so have to keep pedaling down that lane right now. Wishing you all the very best of the seasons ahead -- all those holidays as well as those newly-minted "Season's" Greetings, fresh from the latest MST riffing family's efforts. Long live laughter!


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Reaper-

I'm sorry for my screwed up posts in Aileen's Rooney thread. Despite what you have endured, it is obvious to me that you have retained more grace, aplomb and mental dexterity than I. When I get confused I get overly sensitive as well. I'm sorry if I caused you any pain. I hope you are back to posting in here soon, because not only do you class up the place by your presence, your contributions are one of the few reasons for some bodies to hang around and make their observations here. So, that makes you a valuable- and rare- commodity here.

I am returning to my "safe space", which some would find ironic, as it is a political commentary website. What makes it "safe" for me, is that unlike here and other communities I once belonged, I don't give an at's rass about anyone on that site- even those I agree with. This emotional detachment makes it easy for me, as I can't misinterpret the posts of people I care about, nor do I care when I make a mammoth misread, as I can't hurt anyone for whom I care. It simplifies my life, and anymore I need simple.

Take care and deeply sorry for any pain I may have caused you.


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Taking some time away. See you on the other side of the next series of medical miracles the docs wanna test drive. Good thing I'm a cheap, and usually cordial, lab rat. (The sedatives and painkillers help, too.)


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I love the end-of-October holidays. Instead of Death By Chocolate, everyone wants Death By Pumpkin Spice.

So, then, I bring out my trainee, the very newest Spice Girl...

Gets 'em every time.


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October is crammed to the gills with medical procedures galore. Hope to check in here again before the worst of it starts, then again when the bulk of it has passed (and before checking out). Well, that's the state of shuffleboard, here on the USS Mortal Coil. Thanks for stopping in to say howdy and chuck a puck.


Phantom Chicken of Crank Whore - over 2 years ago
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Happy 65th! Is there anything left to claim with the Orange Menace in office? I'm very foggy so I won't stay on and embarrass myself with attempts at wittiness..just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you :o)


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Anyone ELSE like a NEW disease for a change of pace - one requiring treatment with insurance-paid, ethnic food buffets and umbrella drinks? (This should NOT be too much to ask for a time when, by now, we were all supposed to have had flying cars!)

"Also, I want a new drug." - Huey Lewis & the News


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Malady of the Month:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperacusis

"Collapse tolerance" is such an exceptionally descriptive phrase for this condition. And for sooooo much else.


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Feeling poleaxed, flummoxed, hamstrung, flapdoodled and bollocksed?
Ask your doctor if Bollox®™ is right for you too.


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My current soundtrack:
"Life. Don't talk to me about life." - Marvin the Paranoid Android
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTXOW_jJdKE


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In the words of Tom Servo, regarding my clients: "They're not dead, they're metaphysically challenged." (We all have jobs to do. I am just grateful I was promoted and am no longer Demigod of the Sewer Systems. )


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Support animals flying on airplanes can now include horses. (If there are problems, take it up with the airlines. If I show up, I'm just doing my job - it's nothing personal.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-44132340


Favorite Episodes

  1. Danger! Death Ray
    493
  2. The Dead Talk Back
    290
  3. Riding with Death
    419
  4. The Undead
    250
  5. The Thing That Couldn't Die
    218
  6. The Brain that Wouldn't Die
    359
  7. The Deadly Mantis
    231
  8. The Deadly Bees
    232
  9. The Corpse Vanishes
    158
  10. Soultaker
    398
  11. Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell
    352
  12. The Screaming Skull
    294
  13. Zombie Nightmare
    322
  14. Beginning of the End
    285
  15. It Conquered the World
    298
  16. Prince of Space
    485
  17. Invasion of the Neptune Men
    251
  18. Horror of Party Beach
    332
  19. Puma Man
    550
  20. The Mole People
    215
  21. Jack Frost
    354
  22. The Magic Voyage of Sinbad
    227
  23. The Magic Sword
    213
  24. Night of the Blood Beast
    334
  25. The Phantom Planet
    232
  26. The Day the Earth Froze
    293
  27. Lost Continent
    261
  28. Revenge of the Creature
    240
  29. The She-Creature
    180
  30. Invasion USA
    187
  31. Rocket Attack USA
    160
  32. Star Force: Fugitive Alien II
    263
  33. Fugitive Alien
    342
  34. Mighty Jack
    179
  35. The Incredibly Strange Creatures...
    297
  36. Time of the Apes
    291
  37. Rocketship X-M
    298
  38. 12 to the Moon
    218
  39. Fire Maidens of Outer Space
    235
  40. First Spaceship on Venus
    160
  41. Teenagers from Outer Space
    297
  42. The Space Children
    189
  43. Tormented
    228
  44. The Rebel Set
    167
  45. The Human Duplicators
    215
  46. The Leech Woman
    250
  47. Attack of the Giant Leeches
    226
  48. The Killer Shrews
    265
  49. The Starfighters
    252
  50. Bride of the Monster
    246
  51. The Beast of Yucca Flats
    267
  52. Racket Girls
    183
  53. Girls Town
    306
  54. The Sinister Urge
    223
  55. Horrors of Spider Island
    237
  56. Terror from the Year 5000
    258
  57. I Accuse My Parents
    431
  58. The Amazing Transparent Man
    149
  59. The Projected Man
    211
  60. The Indestructible Man
    162
  61. Hercules Against the Moon Men
    234
  62. Hercules Unchained
    196
  63. Hercules and the Captive Women
    163
  64. Hercules
    160
  65. Colossus and the Headhunters
    191
  66. Samson Vs The Vampire Women
    291
  67. The Viking Women and the Sea Serpent
    232
  68. The Giant Spider Invasion
    372
  69. Werewolf
    564
  70. Earth vs. the Spider
    214
  71. San Francisco International
    278
  72. Manhunt in Space
    173
  73. Agent for H.A.R.M.
    285
  74. Secret Agent Super Dragon
    226
  75. Code Name Diamond Head
    195
  76. Operation Double 007
    246
  77. Warrior of the Lost World
    350
  78. Space Mutiny
    942
  79. Pod People
    588
  80. Time Chasers
    463
  81. Final Justice
    277
  82. Mitchell
    611
  83. The Final Sacrifice
    785
  84. Manos: The Hands of Fate
    714
  85. The Atomic Brain
    175
  86. Jungle Goddess
    197
  87. Radar Secret Service
    233
  88. Teenage Caveman
    156
  89. I Was a Teenage Werewolf
    222
  90. Teenage Strangler
    332
  91. Teenage Crime Wave
    191
  92. The Violent Years
    177
  93. Bloodlust
    193
  94. Swamp Diamonds
    161
  95. High School Big Shot
    199
  96. The Creeping Terror
    266
  97. The Brute Man
    227
  98. The Wild World of Batwoman
    240
  99. Gunslinger
    170
  100. Last of the Wild Horses
    169
  101. The Giant Gila Monster
    270
  102. Cave Dwellers
    460
  103. Outlaw of Gor
    333
  104. Monster A-Go Go
    360
  105. Devil Doll
    259
  106. The Unearthly
    209
  107. Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
    209
  108. Gorgo
    186
  109. Godzilla vs. Megalon
    334
  110. Gamera
    261
  111. Gamera vs. Guiron
    266
  112. Gamera vs. Zigra
    182
  113. Gamera vs. Barugon
    178
  114. The Amazing Colossal Man
    217
  115. War of the Colossal Beast
    241
  116. Gamera vs. Gaos
    155
  117. The Incredible Melting Man
    293
  118. Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
    448
  119. Space Travelers
    158
  120. Stranded in Space
    134
  121. The Skydivers
    279
  122. King Dinosaur
    207
  123. Being from Another Planet
    201
  124. The Sword and the Dragon
    237
  125. Angels' Revenge
    217
  126. Laserblast
    420
  127. Future War
    280
  128. City Limits
    180
  129. Girl in Gold Boots
    295
  130. Escape 2000
    277
  131. Blood Waters of Dr. Z
    219
  132. Devil Fish
    274
  133. The Touch of Satan
    360
  134. Track of the Moon Beast
    301
  135. Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues
    355
  136. Eegah
    411
  137. Ring of Terror
    200
  138. Parts: The Clonus Horror
    303
  139. Master Ninja I
    270
  140. Master Ninja II
    165
  141. Village of the Giants
    204
  142. Hobgoblins
    416
  143. Squirm
    252
  144. Quest of the Delta Knights
    281
  145. Crash of the Moons
    178
  146. Red Zone Cuba
    243
  147. It Lives by Night
    179
  148. Santa Claus
    310
  149. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
    308
  150. Hamlet
    185
  151. Assignment: Venezuela (the lost short)
    178
  152. Daddy-O
    257
  153. The Beatniks
    195
  154. The Girl in Lovers Lane
    235
  155. Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
    343
  156. Lassie: The Painted Hills
    169
  157. Alien from L.A.
    286
  158. Catalina Caper
    283
  159. The Castle of Fu Manchu
    159
  160. Kitten with a Whip
    155
  161. Wild Rebels
    175
  162. The Hellcats
    121
  163. The Sidehackers
    220
  164. The Crawling Eye
    277
  165. The Crawling Hand
    171
  166. The Black Scorpion
    132
  167. The Slime People
    127
  168. Women of the Prehistoric Planet
    175
  169. Untamed Youth
    141
  170. Robot Monster
    160
  171. The Mad Monster
    148
  172. Moon Zero Two
    214
  173. Project Moonbase
    123
  174. Robot Holocaust
    168
  175. Diabolik
    218
  176. The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy
    212
  177. Reptilicus
    42
  178. The Loves of Hercules
    17
  179. The Beast of Hollow Mountain
    24
  180. The Time Travelers
    21
  181. Starcrash
    47
  182. The Land that Time Forgot
    22
  183. At the Earth's Core
    21
  184. Cry Wilderness
    43
  185. The Christmas that Almost Wasn't
    12
  186. Avalanche
    45
  187. Wizards of the Lost Kingdom
    29
  188. Wizards of the Lost Kingdom II
    19
  189. Carnival Magic
    17
  190. Yongary
    26
  191. The Day Time Ended
    15
  192. Killer Fish
    10
  193. Lords of the Deep
    11
  194. Ator
    14
  195. Mac and Me
    19
  196. Atlantic Rim
    18
  197. Attack of the the Eye Creatures
    242

Recent Comments with recent replies

Getting Enough Irony in Your Diet?
Forum - 3 days ago
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Right. No more lists!

So, what are your Top Three favorite riffs of all time, across ALL the entire MST family of riffers, all permutations, all performers, all seasons...

Ready, set.... OUCH!

Hold it, hold it! False start. My fault. Sorry, I was chuckling to myself, and got the cap pistol jammed in a bone in my hand.

OK, so: Ready... set... POP!


Guess Mitchell's first name
Forum - 16 days ago
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In the TV movie "Mitchell", Mitchell's first name is never mentioned. What do you think it is?


Making More MST3K
Forum - 4 days ago
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So who here has joined the new Kickstarter already? Lets build the Gizmoplex!


Recent Riffs

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[bread trays drop loudly on floor]
Everybody down! The bread man is here!


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Please observe silence while visiting the Bread Memorial.


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Maybe I should take that job as a Mouseketeer…


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Why do they keep the bread in dresser drawers?


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Now, we unload the first van at William Conrad's house...


419 - The Rebel Set - 5 months ago
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Well, I guess I'll have to give this hat back to Colonel Blake now...


419 - The Rebel Set - 5 months ago
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We've secretly taken her live son and replaced him with this dead one - let's watch.


419 - The Rebel Set - 5 months ago
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Priest be nimble, priest be quick.


419 - The Rebel Set - 5 months ago
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Gangs of chain-wielding priests, next on Geraldo.


419 - The Rebel Set - 5 months ago
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The heist is ended - go in peace.


419 - The Rebel Set - 5 months ago
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It's a picnic casket.
- It's more of a light summer casket, I'd say.


419 - The Rebel Set - 5 months ago
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They're coming to take me away, ha ha.