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Ol’ Man Reaper | That ol' man reaper, He mus’ know sumthin’, But don't say nuthin’, He jes’ keeps reapin’, He keeps on scythin' along.
In the Reeperbahn

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*°*°*°*°*° CLEARANCE SALE! *°*°*°*°*°*°
After more decades than I can count, it appears I finally have enough points to retire from this Reaping gig and move into new areas of challenge, if not actual and outright relaxation. Toward that end, take a look among my yard sale career bricabrac, job souvenirs, assorted trinkets, and fine collection of famous last words! Pick up for a song what these babies originally cost me in entire orchestras! No offer refused! Bring your own bag and take 25% off your total! Huzzah!

The Grim Reaper | Nothing Personal, Just Business™
The Grim Reaper | Your tour guide to the other side
The Grim Reaper | Cease the Day
The Grin Reaper | Hey, What are YOU Grinning About?
The Wind Reaper | No, Nevermind - That One's Not Going Back Inside ME!
The Swim Reaper | I'm Doing the Underhanded Australiam Pub Crawl, Why?
The Whim Reaper | Winner of the Scythe Young Award™
The Trim Reaper | Wainscoting Done at Reasonable Rates
The Limb Reaper | Have Scythe, Will Travel™
The Chin-Wipin’ Reaper | Have Sushi Burrito, Will Daub a Lot
The Fringe Reaper | “Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were dying?”
The Gin Reaper | “Abra-cadaver!”
The Crimp Reaper | “Sorry, I can’t hear out of this eye.”
The Cramp Reaper | Not Naughts, just Naughty Knots
The Hymn Reaper | “There’s going to be some turbulence seeing as we have one wing.”
The Gym Reaper | “Pants, totally filled!”
The Kim Reaper | “My wallaby means a lot to me.”
The Pim’s Chocolate Cookie Reaper | Anything above 95º and I am just death warmed over!
The Rim Reaper | “A wheel slices into the crowd, killing three!”
The Tums© Reaper | RIP better mean Rest In Pizza!
The Vim Reaper | So, trouser browsers all around then!
The Win Reaper | Cash Flagg on the Moon, Baby!
The Yen Reaper | "My money's on the big guy!"
The Slim Reaper | “His underwear and his hat are interchangeable.”
The Work-a-Day Reaper | "That's the thing about a job like this. I never think 'I have to go to work tomorrow.' I just love it that much."
The Grimacing Reaper | “Ever kissed a dog? You know, right on the mouth?”
The Recalcitrant Reaper | “Back when NASA was family-owned and operated!”
The Crony Reaper | This is a stupid space program - I’m gonna go work for my uncle’s space program!
Last of the Wild Reapers | “Yippie-DIE-aye-AY!"
Last of the Wild Reapers | I’m gonna go walk in front of a bus.”
Last of the Wild Reapers 2: The Saga Limps Along Some | I’m gonna go kill myself again…”
The Idiotic Reaper | “Lucy, I’m dead!”
The Idiomatic Reaper | “Look at how dead he is!”
The Idiomatic Reaper (later that same night) | “Well, he’s still dead.”
The Idiomatic Reaper Dreams | “It’s as if he’s dead.”
The Swinging-Ladder Reaper | “There, I fixed it.”
The Principle of Reaper Junior High | "Hoodies will now be allowed. Bite me."
The Vengeful Reaper | “A wounded being that large isn’t good!”
The Custodial Reaper | Death rides comfortably with Central Moving & Storage.
The Stringer Reaper | "I better take my pants off and do some typing."
The Theatrical Numismatist Reaper | “I am being severely backlit!”
The Numismatist Reaper | "Hang on and I'll show you coin of the realm!"
The Crimp Reaper | Only the Numb Survive
The Crumb Reaper | Ah, Mr. Homeless People! Once again, we see that there is nothing that you can possess that I cannot take away!
The Sporting Reaper | “He should have worn a cup.”
The Grump Reaper | "You kids get off my lawn!"
The Frump Reaper | We are flabbergasted for you, so you can don’t have to - save your precious natural flabber and gast today!
The Gram Reaper | Souls Measured by Weight, Not Volume ™
The Chimp Reaper | An intriguing mix of genocide and modern dance
The Graham Reaper | Hold on! “S’mores & More" sale’s next week!
The Grommet Reaper | Yacht Clubs are just Holes in the Ocean and More!
The Tin Reaper | Try new Cromwell’s Condemned Soups™ today!
The Hamdinger Reaper | “Killed by vapor action.”
The Harumph Reaper | “Hey, wait! Didn't you see the Bridge of Death sign back there?”
The Alert Reaper | “Dead people have too much time on their hands.”
The Elusive Reaper | Don't tell Frank 'cause then I would have to kill him!
The Secretive Reaper | Enigmatic bastard, isn’t he?
The Reaper | ♪♫ Tooool Operatorrrr ♬♫
The Hometown Reaper | “I like to sleep with my head in a catcher's mitt!”
The Avuncular Reaper | “Never make light of boing, son.”
The Wiley Reaper | “Just as Jim closes in for the kill, so does Mutual of Omaha…close in for the kill.”
The Relaxing Reaper | “Tonight on Dr. Kevorkian, MD…”
The Exasperated Reaper | “Don't the dead just bug you? Come on, back me up.”
The Grinch Reaper | Calling me Frosty makes my snowballs itch
The Grinch Reaper | More Nog, Less Egg!
The Grinch Reaper | Less Eggnoggin’, More Toboggan!
The Grinch Reaper | Less Ponderin' with Noggin’s, More Dangerous Toboggans!
The Ham Reaper | " First, take one can of devil-dolled ham-and-puppet mix..."
The Jam Reaper | "Ooooh, sticky fingers, baby!"
The Cam Reaper | No, I just know about the Thrush pipes and Hooker headers.
The Cambot Reaper | Stop trying to rewind these DVDs, willya?!
The Lamb Reaper | Guess how many bags full I am today.
The Ram Reaper | If you keep honking your horn, I'm gonna make you blow something else, you nitwit!
The M’am Reaper | Good vending machine manners are never out of order.
The ‘Nam Reaper | [moment of silence]
The SAM Reaper | Incoming!
The Whamo Reaper | Free Frisbees for Life? Oh, If I get them down from the garage, you mean.
The Shazam! Reaper | Crap! I liked my OLD costume and powers BETTER!
The Gimp Reaper | “Death rides comfortably with Central Moving & Storage!”
The Compassionate Reaper | “Hold me closer, tiny Death.”
The Glam Reaper | “I'm half Bondo®.”
The Pam Reaper | Cooking Tip: Never store combustibles with your old people.
T.G. Reaper, Test Pilot | breaking the blood-brain barrier since 2013
The Hamdinger Reaper | The budget-stretcher that comes with its own life-size stretcher!™
The Spam Reaper | Fresh snouts for them with a nose for gnus!™
The Hamdinger Reaper | Packed eight to a can with care for family and friends - who'll all pack YOUR can without ANY! ™
The Cafetorium Reaper | “I’m a lunch lady at heart.”
The Dim Sum Reaper | “I’m a lunch lady at heart.”
The Heath Reaper | The Moor the Merrier
The Moor Reaper | The Moor the Merrier
The Slim Reaper | Does this hoodie make my scythe look big?
The Sim Reaper | Why settle for reality? ™
The Buttoned-Up Reaper | “Touch a button, things happen.”
The Buttoned-Down Reaper | “Touch a button, things happen.”
The Zen Reaper | “Touch a button, things happen.”
The Zen Reaper | “I dedicate this song to Thorazine.”
The Zen Reaper | Just Business. Nothing Personal™
The Biz Reaper | Just Business. Nothing Personal™
The Hymn Reaper | Peace is our Profession. (The “Rest” is up to you.)
The Brim Reaper | “Here’s your hat - what’s your hurry?”
The Grump Reaper | Cease the Day™
The Dim Reaper | “Well, here’s your problem - you’re dead!” | (this riff from "The Beast of Yucca Flats," is one I laughed at so hard, and for so long, when I first heard it, that I died a few more times, by accident)
The Yin-Yang Reaper | “His hat and his underwear are interchangeable.“
ReaperCo | Your Timekeepers - for Keepsakes and for Keeps™
The Grim Reaper | aka Frosty the Woe-Man
The Gift Reaper | Heeeeeeere’s SANTA!
The Reaper Tracks Santa's Every Move With Regret, Knowing that the Jolly Old Elf's "Sleighbell Runner 3000" Gig Could Have Been His IF He'd Had a Larger Downpayment and a Red Suit, NOT a Long Hoodie (with Mandatory Farm Implement Accessory). Dang.
The Gift Reaper | “Santa’s doing the forbidden dance!”
The Grinch Reaper | Come, we will drink a special yuletide tranya!
The Wassailing Reaper | “That's right - I said a whole case of vodka.”
The Solstice Reaper | "We can't all be the Honey Nut Cheerios honeybee."
The Grinch Reaper | Less Joggin’, More Toboggan!
The Grinch Reaper | The password is “Missile-Toe,” countersign: ”Keg-Nog”
The Grinch Reaper | Merry FilmMess & Happy HollyCheese!
The Grimms’ Reaper | Free Fairytales with Every Trip

Aloha!


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This scarecrow always freaks 'em out on the moors. It helps that I move it around from place to place now and then.


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I got an award from the guys today - a photo showing me, out standing in my field...


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In case you're wondering why The Muppets went off the air - the Chef had a nasty habit of betting with other's people's money... and shows.


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Now, you can star in your own 50's short! Go here & roll soundtrack!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xELDqIyrtNA

You're, uh, welcome.
- Bing! -


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NEWSFLASH: Now, new Fruit of the Loom© yogurt has Fruit on the Bottom! ™


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Another great use for material also used by our MST crew:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kU8OJAOMbPg

The visual fun kicks in about 2:50 or so on this great tune. : )


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Nope, not actually dead... yet.
Just feeling like a warmed-over version of it, as I alphabetically work my way through humanity's known diseases list.
Hope to see you again soon, hybrid ailments permitting. Cheers!


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Stay tuned for The Dim Sum Reaper, over most of these serving suggestions... uh, stations.


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“Well, here’s your problem - you’re dead!”
- riff from The Beast of Yucca Flats

I laughed so hard at this one I died a few more times, by accident.


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We're sorry - the number you dialed is not in service at this time. Please check back another time, or check your directory for Medically Renovated and/or Fully Healed Individuals. [Doooo-weeee-ooooo.] We're sorry - the number you dialed is not in service at this time. Please check back another time, or......


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See? No need to fear the Reaper - just a tour guide, paying cosmic bills...



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The Reaper Tracks Santa's Every Move With Regret, Knowing that the Jolly Old Elf's "Sleighbell Runner 3000" Gig Could Have Been His IF He'd Had a Larger Downpayment and a Red Suit, NOT a Long Hoodie (with Mandatory Farm Implement Accessory). Dang.


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Back home again and taking it easy. Kind of back and kind of not. Spaced out but doing OK after the hospital's Screaming Skull Special. Thanks for the nice notes, thoughtballoons, and wordflowers!


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I'm with 'BUG' ... We Miss You, Reaper-Man ... ok, ok and Love You also ... there I said it ... Hey, that was pretty easy...Now please get your A** back so we can enjoy more of your Witty Repartee :o)'


TheLightningBug - 6 months ago
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Come home, Reaper - we love and miss you fiercely.


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Hey everyone - Thanks for all the grins and support. You've been good pals and I appreciate the Wit Exchange (like the Invention Exchange but with words) we have here. It's been a fun run. I’ve really enjoyed gabbing ’n’ grinning with everyone. I have medical miles to log, so have to keep pedaling down that lane right now. Wishing you all the very best of the seasons ahead -- all those holidays as well as those newly-minted "Season's" Greetings, fresh from the latest MST riffing family's efforts. Long live laughter!


Steve-Headed Pig-Benton - 7 months ago
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Reaper-

I'm sorry for my screwed up posts in Aileen's Rooney thread. Despite what you have endured, it is obvious to me that you have retained more grace, aplomb and mental dexterity than I. When I get confused I get overly sensitive as well. I'm sorry if I caused you any pain. I hope you are back to posting in here soon, because not only do you class up the place by your presence, your contributions are one of the few reasons for some bodies to hang around and make their observations here. So, that makes you a valuable- and rare- commodity here.

I am returning to my "safe space", which some would find ironic, as it is a political commentary website. What makes it "safe" for me, is that unlike here and other communities I once belonged, I don't give an at's rass about anyone on that site- even those I agree with. This emotional detachment makes it easy for me, as I can't misinterpret the posts of people I care about, nor do I care when I make a mammoth misread, as I can't hurt anyone for whom I care. It simplifies my life, and anymore I need simple.

Take care and deeply sorry for any pain I may have caused you.


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Taking some time away. See you on the other side of the next series of medical miracles the docs wanna test drive. Good thing I'm a cheap, and usually cordial, lab rat. (The sedatives and painkillers help, too.)


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I love the end-of-October holidays. Instead of Death By Chocolate, everyone wants Death By Pumpkin Spice.

So, then, I bring out my trainee, the very newest Spice Girl...

Gets 'em every time.


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October is crammed to the gills with medical procedures galore. Hope to check in here again before the worst of it starts, then again when the bulk of it has passed (and before checking out). Well, that's the state of shuffleboard, here on the USS Mortal Coil. Thanks for stopping in to say howdy and chuck a puck.


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Happy 65th! Is there anything left to claim with the Orange Menace in office? I'm very foggy so I won't stay on and embarrass myself with attempts at wittiness..just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you :o)


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Anyone ELSE like a NEW disease for a change of pace - one requiring treatment with insurance-paid, ethnic food buffets and umbrella drinks? (This should NOT be too much to ask for a time when, by now, we were all supposed to have had flying cars!)

"Also, I want a new drug." - Huey Lewis & the News


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Malady of the Month:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperacusis

"Collapse tolerance" is such an exceptionally descriptive phrase for this condition. And for sooooo much else.


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Feeling poleaxed, flummoxed, hamstrung, flapdoodled and bollocksed?
Ask your doctor if Bollox®™ is right for you too.


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In the words of Tom Servo, regarding my clients: "They're not dead, they're metaphysically challenged." (We all have jobs to do. I am just grateful I was promoted and am no longer Demigod of the Sewer Systems. )


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Support animals flying on airplanes can now include horses. (If there are problems, take it up with the airlines. If I show up, I'm just doing my job - it's nothing personal.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-44132340


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Recent Comments with recent replies

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*°*°*°*°*° CLEARANCE SALE! *°*°*°*°*°*°
After more decades than I can count, it appears I finally have enough points to retire from this Reaping gig and move into new areas of challenge, if not actual and outright relaxation. Toward that end, take a look among my yard sale career bricabrac, job souvenirs, assorted trinkets, and fine collection of famous last words! Pick up for a song what these babies originally cost me in entire orchestras! No offer refused! Bring your own bag and take 25% off your total! Huzzah!

The Grim Reaper | Nothing Personal, Just Business™
The Grim Reaper | Your tour guide to the other side
The Grim Reaper | Cease the Day
The Grin Reaper | Hey, What are YOU Grinning About?
The Wind Reaper | No, Nevermind - That One's Not Going Back Inside ME!
The Swim Reaper | I'm Doing the Underhanded Australiam Pub Crawl, Why?
The Whim Reaper | Winner of the Scythe Young Award™
The Trim Reaper | Wainscoting Done at Reasonable Rates
The Limb Reaper | Have Scythe, Will Travel™
The Chin-Wipin’ Reaper | Have Sushi Burrito, Will Daub a Lot
The Fringe Reaper | “Sir, do you have any idea how fast you were dying?”
The Gin Reaper | “Abra-cadaver!”
The Crimp Reaper | “Sorry, I can’t hear out of this eye.”
The Cramp Reaper | Not Naughts, just Naughty Knots
The Hymn Reaper | “There’s going to be some turbulence seeing as we have one wing.”
The Gym Reaper | “Pants, totally filled!”
The Kim Reaper | “My wallaby means a lot to me.”
The Pim’s Chocolate Cookie Reaper | Anything above 95º and I am just death warmed over!
The Rim Reaper | “A wheel slices into the crowd, killing three!”
The Tums© Reaper | RIP better mean Rest In Pizza!
The Vim Reaper | So, trouser browsers all around then!
The Win Reaper | Cash Flagg on the Moon, Baby!
The Yen Reaper | "My money's on the big guy!"
The Slim Reaper | “His underwear and his hat are interchangeable.”
The Work-a-Day Reaper | "That's the thing about a job like this. I never think 'I have to go to work tomorrow.' I just love it that much."
The Grimacing Reaper | “Ever kissed a dog? You know, right on the mouth?”
The Recalcitrant Reaper | “Back when NASA was family-owned and operated!”
The Crony Reaper | This is a stupid space program - I’m gonna go work for my uncle’s space program!
Last of the Wild Reapers | “Yippie-DIE-aye-AY!"
Last of the Wild Reapers | I’m gonna go walk in front of a bus.”
Last of the Wild Reapers 2: The Saga Limps Along Some | I’m gonna go kill myself again…”
The Idiotic Reaper | “Lucy, I’m dead!”
The Idiomatic Reaper | “Look at how dead he is!”
The Idiomatic Reaper (later that same night) | “Well, he’s still dead.”
The Idiomatic Reaper Dreams | “It’s as if he’s dead.”
The Swinging-Ladder Reaper | “There, I fixed it.”
The Principle of Reaper Junior High | "Hoodies will now be allowed. Bite me."
The Vengeful Reaper | “A wounded being that large isn’t good!”
The Custodial Reaper | Death rides comfortably with Central Moving & Storage.
The Stringer Reaper | "I better take my pants off and do some typing."
The Theatrical Numismatist Reaper | “I am being severely backlit!”
The Numismatist Reaper | "Hang on and I'll show you coin of the realm!"
The Crimp Reaper | Only the Numb Survive
The Crumb Reaper | Ah, Mr. Homeless People! Once again, we see that there is nothing that you can possess that I cannot take away!
The Sporting Reaper | “He should have worn a cup.”
The Grump Reaper | "You kids get off my lawn!"
The Frump Reaper | We are flabbergasted for you, so you can don’t have to - save your precious natural flabber and gast today!
The Gram Reaper | Souls Measured by Weight, Not Volume ™
The Chimp Reaper | An intriguing mix of genocide and modern dance
The Graham Reaper | Hold on! “S’mores & More" sale’s next week!
The Grommet Reaper | Yacht Clubs are just Holes in the Ocean and More!
The Tin Reaper | Try new Cromwell’s Condemned Soups™ today!
The Hamdinger Reaper | “Killed by vapor action.”
The Harumph Reaper | “Hey, wait! Didn't you see the Bridge of Death sign back there?”
The Alert Reaper | “Dead people have too much time on their hands.”
The Elusive Reaper | Don't tell Frank 'cause then I would have to kill him!
The Secretive Reaper | Enigmatic bastard, isn’t he?
The Reaper | ♪♫ Tooool Operatorrrr ♬♫
The Hometown Reaper | “I like to sleep with my head in a catcher's mitt!”
The Avuncular Reaper | “Never make light of boing, son.”
The Wiley Reaper | “Just as Jim closes in for the kill, so does Mutual of Omaha…close in for the kill.”
The Relaxing Reaper | “Tonight on Dr. Kevorkian, MD…”
The Exasperated Reaper | “Don't the dead just bug you? Come on, back me up.”
The Grinch Reaper | Calling me Frosty makes my snowballs itch
The Grinch Reaper | More Nog, Less Egg!
The Grinch Reaper | Less Eggnoggin’, More Toboggan!
The Grinch Reaper | Less Ponderin' with Noggin’s, More Dangerous Toboggans!
The Ham Reaper | " First, take one can of devil-dolled ham-and-puppet mix..."
The Jam Reaper | "Ooooh, sticky fingers, baby!"
The Cam Reaper | No, I just know about the Thrush pipes and Hooker headers.
The Cambot Reaper | Stop trying to rewind these DVDs, willya?!
The Lamb Reaper | Guess how many bags full I am today.
The Ram Reaper | If you keep honking your horn, I'm gonna make you blow something else, you nitwit!
The M’am Reaper | Good vending machine manners are never out of order.
The ‘Nam Reaper | [moment of silence]
The SAM Reaper | Incoming!
The Whamo Reaper | Free Frisbees for Life? Oh, If I get them down from the garage, you mean.
The Shazam! Reaper | Crap! I liked my OLD costume and powers BETTER!
The Gimp Reaper | “Death rides comfortably with Central Moving & Storage!”
The Compassionate Reaper | “Hold me closer, tiny Death.”
The Glam Reaper | “I'm half Bondo®.”
The Pam Reaper | Cooking Tip: Never store combustibles with your old people.
T.G. Reaper, Test Pilot | breaking the blood-brain barrier since 2013
The Hamdinger Reaper | The budget-stretcher that comes with its own life-size stretcher!™
The Spam Reaper | Fresh snouts for them with a nose for gnus!™
The Hamdinger Reaper | Packed eight to a can with care for family and friends - who'll all pack YOUR can without ANY! ™
The Cafetorium Reaper | “I’m a lunch lady at heart.”
The Dim Sum Reaper | “I’m a lunch lady at heart.”
The Heath Reaper | The Moor the Merrier
The Moor Reaper | The Moor the Merrier
The Slim Reaper | Does this hoodie make my scythe look big?
The Sim Reaper | Why settle for reality? ™
The Buttoned-Up Reaper | “Touch a button, things happen.”
The Buttoned-Down Reaper | “Touch a button, things happen.”
The Zen Reaper | “Touch a button, things happen.”
The Zen Reaper | “I dedicate this song to Thorazine.”
The Zen Reaper | Just Business. Nothing Personal™
The Biz Reaper | Just Business. Nothing Personal™
The Hymn Reaper | Peace is our Profession. (The “Rest” is up to you.)
The Brim Reaper | “Here’s your hat - what’s your hurry?”
The Grump Reaper | Cease the Day™
The Dim Reaper | “Well, here’s your problem - you’re dead!” | (this riff from "The Beast of Yucca Flats," is one I laughed at so hard, and for so long, when I first heard it, that I died a few more times, by accident)
The Yin-Yang Reaper | “His hat and his underwear are interchangeable.“
ReaperCo | Your Timekeepers - for Keepsakes and for Keeps™
The Grim Reaper | aka Frosty the Woe-Man
The Gift Reaper | Heeeeeeere’s SANTA!
The Reaper Tracks Santa's Every Move With Regret, Knowing that the Jolly Old Elf's "Sleighbell Runner 3000" Gig Could Have Been His IF He'd Had a Larger Downpayment and a Red Suit, NOT a Long Hoodie (with Mandatory Farm Implement Accessory). Dang.
The Gift Reaper | “Santa’s doing the forbidden dance!”
The Grinch Reaper | Come, we will drink a special yuletide tranya!
The Wassailing Reaper | “That's right - I said a whole case of vodka.”
The Solstice Reaper | "We can't all be the Honey Nut Cheerios honeybee."
The Grinch Reaper | Less Joggin’, More Toboggan!
The Grinch Reaper | The password is “Missile-Toe,” countersign: ”Keg-Nog”
The Grinch Reaper | Merry FilmMess & Happy HollyCheese!
The Grimms’ Reaper | Free Fairytales with Every Trip

Aloha!


NCNL #....8(?)
Forum - about 1 month ago
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What do you make of this? Please keep it to yourselves.


Forum - about 2 months ago
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You have the power to transport everybody in MST3K universe back to 90's. What Joel era show would you like to see the Mike/Bill/Kevin riff? Conversely, which Syfy ep would you like the Joel/Trace/Kevin(or J Elvis) riff?


Recent Riffs

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[said in front of a corpse covered with a bloody sheet]
We're sending you to stay with relatives until this whole thing blows over.


419 - The Rebel Set - 4 months ago
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It's more of a light summer casket, I'd say.


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OK now, come on girls, get into your sleeping bags! No more sacrifices tonight!


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Woo! Put your shoes back on, it smells like mummy meat!


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Just as Jim closes in for the kill, so does Mutual of Omaha...close in for the kill.


603 - The Dead Talk Back - 8 months ago
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Don't the dead just bug you? Come on, back me up.


603 - The Dead Talk Back - 8 months ago
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We were all surprised when the Rosetta Iron beeped us.


603 - The Dead Talk Back - 8 months ago
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Stop, in the name of Eddie Deezen!


603 - The Dead Talk Back - 8 months ago
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Must... get... to... Bargain... Clown...


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Tonight on Dr. Kevorkian, MD...


609 - The Skydivers - 8 months ago
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The Virgin Mary has appeared and she wants the world to build airfields.