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The Dim Reaper | “Well, here’s your problem - you’re dead!”
In the street, corner of Psychopomp and Circumstance

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Stay tuned for The Dim Sum Reaper, over most of these serving suggestions... uh, stations.


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“Well, here’s your problem - you’re dead!”
- riff from The Beast of Yucca Flats

I laughed so hard at this one I died a few more times, by accident.


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We're sorry - the number you dialed is not in service at this time. Please check back another time, or check your directory for Medically Renovated and/or Fully Healed Individuals. [Doooo-weeee-ooooo.] We're sorry - the number you dialed is not in service at this time. Please check back another time, or......


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Most people freak out when I show up singing this song to them...


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See? No need to fear the Reaper - just a tour guide, paying cosmic bills...



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My favorite summer blade is no substitute for that snowblower I sent back.


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Noooooo-body expects the reaping snowman!


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Moonlighting to make ends meet...


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Finally, a seasonal break - and some depth to our bench...


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The Reaper Tracks Santa's Every Move With Regret, Knowing that the Jolly Old Elf's "Sleighbell Runner 3000" Gig Could Have Been His IF He'd Had a Larger Downpayment and a Red Suit, NOT a Long Hoodie (with Mandatory Farm Implement Accessory). Dang.


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Some gigs have better pay and benefits.


Phantom Chicken of Crank Whore - about 1 month ago
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Back home again and taking it easy. Kind of back and kind of not. Spaced out but doing OK after the hospital's Screaming Skull Special. Thanks for the nice notes, thoughtballoons, and wordflowers!


Phantom Chicken of Crank Whore - about 2 months ago
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I'm with 'BUG' ... We Miss You, Reaper-Man ... ok, ok and Love You also ... there I said it ... Hey, that was pretty easy...Now please get your A** back so we can enjoy more of your Witty Repartee :o)'


TheLightningBug - about 2 months ago
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Come home, Reaper - we love and miss you fiercely.


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Hey everyone - Thanks for all the grins and support. You've been good pals and I appreciate the Wit Exchange (like the Invention Exchange but with words) we have here. It's been a fun run. I’ve really enjoyed gabbing ’n’ grinning with everyone. I have medical miles to log, so have to keep pedaling down that lane right now. Wishing you all the very best of the seasons ahead -- all those holidays as well as those newly-minted "Season's" Greetings, fresh from the latest MST riffing family's efforts. Long live laughter!


Steve-Headed Pig-Benton - 3 months ago
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Reaper-

I'm sorry for my screwed up posts in Aileen's Rooney thread. Despite what you have endured, it is obvious to me that you have retained more grace, aplomb and mental dexterity than I. When I get confused I get overly sensitive as well. I'm sorry if I caused you any pain. I hope you are back to posting in here soon, because not only do you class up the place by your presence, your contributions are one of the few reasons for some bodies to hang around and make their observations here. So, that makes you a valuable- and rare- commodity here.

I am returning to my "safe space", which some would find ironic, as it is a political commentary website. What makes it "safe" for me, is that unlike here and other communities I once belonged, I don't give an at's rass about anyone on that site- even those I agree with. This emotional detachment makes it easy for me, as I can't misinterpret the posts of people I care about, nor do I care when I make a mammoth misread, as I can't hurt anyone for whom I care. It simplifies my life, and anymore I need simple.

Take care and deeply sorry for any pain I may have caused you.


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Taking some time away. See you on the other side of the next series of medical miracles the docs wanna test drive. Good thing I'm a cheap, and usually cordial, lab rat. (The sedatives and painkillers help, too.)


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I love the end-of-October holidays. Instead of Death By Chocolate, everyone wants Death By Pumpkin Spice.

So, then, I bring out my trainee, the very newest Spice Girl...

Gets 'em every time.


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October is crammed to the gills with medical procedures galore. Hope to check in here again before the worst of it starts, then again when the bulk of it has passed (and before checking out). Well, that's the state of shuffleboard, here on the USS Mortal Coil. Thanks for stopping in to say howdy and chuck a puck.


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Happy 65th! Is there anything left to claim with the Orange Menace in office? I'm very foggy so I won't stay on and embarrass myself with attempts at wittiness..just wanted to let you know I was thinking about you :o)


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Slowing things down tonight with this old favorite...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHyr9GS1lzo


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Anyone ELSE like a NEW disease for a change of pace - one requiring treatment with insurance-paid, ethnic food buffets and umbrella drinks? (This should NOT be too much to ask for a time when, by now, we were all supposed to have had flying cars!)

"Also, I want a new drug." - Huey Lewis & the News


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Malady of the Month:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hyperacusis

"Collapse tolerance" is such an exceptionally descriptive phrase for this condition. And for sooooo much else.


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Feeling poleaxed, flummoxed, hamstrung, flapdoodled and bollocksed?
Ask your doctor if Bollox®™ is right for you too.


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Time to freshen up that atomic cocktail, folks.
Bar could be closing any minute.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LzBysft2d6c


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My current soundtrack:
"Life. Don't talk to me about life." - Marvin the Paranoid Android
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTXOW_jJdKE


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In the words of Tom Servo, regarding my clients: "They're not dead, they're metaphysically challenged." (We all have jobs to do. I am just grateful I was promoted and am no longer Demigod of the Sewer Systems. )


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Support animals flying on airplanes can now include horses. (If there are problems, take it up with the airlines. If I show up, I'm just doing my job - it's nothing personal.

http://www.bbc.com/news/world-us-canada-44132340


Favorite Episodes

  1. The Dead Talk Back
    273
  2. Beginning of the End
    252
  3. Danger! Death Ray
    445
  4. Riding with Death
    379
  5. The Corpse Vanishes
    143
  6. Soultaker
    354
  7. The Undead
    231
  8. The Deadly Bees
    207
  9. Zombie Nightmare
    290
  10. The Thing That Couldn't Die
    190
  11. The Brain that Wouldn't Die
    324
  12. The Beast of Yucca Flats
    245
  13. Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell
    320
  14. The Skydivers
    260
  15. Red Zone Cuba
    220
  16. San Francisco International
    249
  17. The Killer Shrews
    243
  18. Tormented
    215

Recent Comments with recent replies

The Mystery Science Theater 3000 Rarities Archive
Forum - about 22 hours ago
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A Youtube channel worth subscribing to: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC66CmZ0OddVGXDsWIFWm67A


NCNL 2019 #2
Forum - about 19 hours ago
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Everyone remember the rules? I've forgotten them.


NCNL 2019 #1
Forum - 8 days ago
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Forum - 1 day ago
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New Cinema Edition of, "Jungle Goddess" now showing:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0k_f1a02pVo


News Hour MSTie
Forum - 3 days ago
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I swear there must be a MSTie on the PBS News Hour production staff. Yet again last night did I see another MST3k throwback, this time in a story about tech giant monopolies. They were discussing the trend of technology innovation stagnation under a monopoly and the next thing I knew they were playing Century 21 Calling! Classic. After this and the gesture professor, I'm expecting Chicken of Tomorrow next! Or perhaps the Truck Farmer. Worship the Truck Farmer at the church of your choice!.


Reb gets RiffTraxed in 'Yor'!
Forum - 3 days ago
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Praise be! I just found out that, if you vote for (or suggest) a film for RiffTrax to riff, you get an email if and when they actually do it.
I got home from work to find that Mike, Kevin & Bill have applied their very particular set of skills to 'Yor: The Hunter from the Future' and it is released today. I voted for it quite a long time ago, and am currently downloading it for my viewing pleasure.
It stars Reb Brown, as well as Corinne Clery from 'The Story of O', a properly rockin' action theme and bat hang-gliding. Can't wait to watch it!


R.I.P. Carol
Forum - 6 days ago
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Carol Channing passes away at 97. She led a nice long life and made for several good riffs along the way. Time to put on some Fugitive Alien or maybe Red Zone Cuba...
https://youtu.be/UX2iGz1E5ek?t=2461


Recent Riffs

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Thanks for hurling that gas bomb at me.


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Arrrh, I hate modern dance!


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OK now, come on girls, get into your sleeping bags! No more sacrifices tonight!


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Woo! Put your shoes back on, it smells like mummy meat!


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See? Mommy likes it!


621 - The Beast of Yucca Flats - about 1 month ago
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Just as Jim closes in for the kill, so does Mutual of Omaha...close in for the kill.


806 - The Undead - 4 months ago
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Nothing but net!


603 - The Dead Talk Back - 4 months ago
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Don't the dead just bug you? Come on, back me up.


603 - The Dead Talk Back - 4 months ago
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Sam, I said no witchcraft!


603 - The Dead Talk Back - 4 months ago
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We were all surprised when the Rosetta Iron beeped us.


603 - The Dead Talk Back - 4 months ago
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Stop, in the name of Eddie Deezen!


603 - The Dead Talk Back - 4 months ago
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Must... get... to... Bargain... Clown...