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Rocket J. Forklift (Paul-Gabriel Wiener)
In Third star to the left, and straight on 'til midafternoon
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Hi there! There's no place for an "about me" thing in the profile, so I'm posting on my own wall. If you're curious enough to come to this page, maybe you want to know something. So here are a few things, in no particular order:

* I have long names. Call me whatever works. I usually go by "Paul." "Rocky" works here. The full screen name is just there to amuse me.

* "Favorite" episodes are unsorted, and somewhat arbitrary. Depends on my mood when I watched. But I'm generally not one to pick favorites. I enjoy something or not, on its own terms. I don't like pitting them against each other to say which is better or not as good.

* I'm fairly open about stuff, and I like getting to know cool people. Feel free to drop me a line, ask questions, check out my FB profile. Or not. Whatever floats your giant turtle.

That's it for now. Have a MSTie day, and keep circulating the AVI files!


Favorite Episodes

  1. The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy
    192
  2. Phase IV
    54
  3. SST: Death Flight
    74
  4. Robot Monster
    145
  5. Moon Zero Two
    183
  6. Untamed Youth
    126
  7. Cave Dwellers
    409
  8. Pod People
    529
  9. Catalina Caper
    250
  10. Time of the Apes
    255
  11. War of the Colossal Beast
    211
  12. The Unearthly
    186
  13. The Giant Gila Monster
    234
  14. Teenagers from Outer Space
    266
  15. Attack of the Giant Leeches
    203
  16. Hercules Unchained
    172
  17. Mighty Jack
    162
  18. Star Force: Fugitive Alien II
    242
  19. Fugitive Alien
    312
  20. The Magic Sword
    196
  21. Hercules and the Captive Women
    147
  22. Fire Maidens of Outer Space
    212
  23. The Rebel Set
    152
  24. The Human Duplicators
    197
  25. Bride of the Monster
    220
  26. Manos: The Hands of Fate
    644
  27. Warrior of the Lost World
    306
  28. Secret Agent Super Dragon
    207
  29. The Magic Voyage of Sinbad
    202
  30. Operation Double 007
    220
  31. The Girl in Lovers Lane
    210
  32. Gunslinger
    155
  33. Mitchell
    546
  34. The Wild World of Batwoman
    218
  35. Alien from L.A.
    261
  36. Outlaw of Gor
    298
  37. Radar Secret Service
    210
  38. 12 to the Moon
    190
  39. The Skydivers
    259
  40. Last of the Wild Horses
    151
  41. The Starfighters
    223

Recent Comments with recent replies

313 - Earth vs. the Spider - almost 3 years ago
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I can't believe they made it through the whole thing without referencing Spider-Man (was really expecting that when they found the giant web across the road) or Charlotte.

Also: *pushes up nerd glasses* The movie's supposed spider expert kept calling it an insect. Insects have six legs. Spiders are arachnids. Any high school science teacher should know that.


302 - Gamera - 1 day ago
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Huh. I went to read the Wikipedia and Fandom Wikia articles about this movie to see if there was a clearer answer about Kenny's relation to the female lead. (There wasn't. I'm going to assume she's a close family friend. Or maybe someone brought in to help raise him after his mother died.) But I learned two things of interest.

1. The movie wasn't supposed to be about a turtle. They built the miniature city sets to make a disaster film about an infestation of giant irradiated mutant rats. (Similar to Them or The Deadly Mantis.) Unfortunately, the rats shipped to the studio were flea-ridden. So the studio scrapped that movie and decided to do a Gozilla knockoff instead. (Why making an entire new movie including crafting a giant rubber turtle suit was seen as the better alternative to giving the rats a flea bath or getting a new box of rats is beyond me, but it seems to have worked out.) Thus an old sickly rat made way for a mutated fighting turtle. Well done, Splinter. 

2. There was an American theatrical release of this movie separate from Sandy Frank. That version had several differences. Besides replacing the theme song with this lazy piece of generic 60s fluff (which seems to have been written with the same amount of preparation as Dana Carvey gave Chopping Broccoli - I think the band was called The Moons because they were fly by night), they reshot all the scenes of Americans with a new cast. Gee, I can't imagine why. It was released in theaters in '66 and reaired on TV for the next decade or so. Sandy picked up the rights to the Japanese original in '87 and had to do a new English dub.


301 - Cave Dwellers - over 5 years ago
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'The Lucid Version of the Really Bad Opening Credits' host segment - FUN..NN..NNY (said while giggling). I particularly liked the way they went on and on and (yawn) on. Joel's Goose of Death hat has got to be the prop I would want.


301 - Cave Dwellers - 7 months ago
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Stupid quotes that categorically are not true...
"Nobody's life is more important than another's." -Ator
"Human knowledge, even in its most exalted form, is nothing against fate." - the old wise man
"Remember that imagination is as important as knowledge." - the old wise man


301 - Cave Dwellers - 2 days ago
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Dr. F. asks Joel, "How did you fare going through the asteroid belt?"
"Jeepers! Don't remind me," Joel replies, scratching his backside in remembered pain.
No, no, Joel. He asked about asteroids.


511 - Gunslinger - over 2 years ago
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... Peanut butter and Dijonnaise??


size matters
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hmm, so Jet Jagoff can make himself bigger to fight Megalon. But why does he stop growing at the same size? Why not be twice as big?


212 - Godzilla vs. Megalon - 10 months ago
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I know this isn't exactly the most logical movie in the world, but I do have a question: How exactly were the people of Seatopia going to get Japan to stop destroying their country, when they wouldn't even tell their government that their country exists. Their plan was to send a giant monster into Tokyo to wreck shit up with no demands and no explanations. Even Gamera vs. Zigra had the 'Zigra woman' issue demands to 'all you people of the Earth'. If 'Oscar Wilde' hadn't let this secret slip, nobody would have had a clue.

And yes, I know I should just repeat to myself etc etc, but when a monster movie's logic fails even when compared to another, similarly illogical monster movie...well... O.o


212 - Godzilla vs. Megalon - about 4 years ago
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One of the only movies where the main character and star of the movie (Godzilla) is actually a side characters! 'cause let's face it, the movie shoulda been called "Jet Jaguar vs. 'Godzilla vs. Megalon'"


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Okay, so who knows why, in 1990, you'd have a pocket-sized CO2 cartridge in your junk drawer? I know I had one.


210 - King Dinosaur - over 5 years ago
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♫ Joey the Lemur he's actually a Sloth! ♫


Recent Riffs

311 - It Conquered the World - almost 3 years ago
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He never used to make deals with the devil before...


607 - Bloodlust - over 2 years ago
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Thank you for your request to come pick you up. We are sorry to inform you that we cannot...


414 - Tormented - almost 3 years ago
1 laugh

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Charles Moffett...


K09 - Phase IV - almost 3 years ago
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Servo: Come on, Joel! We're joshing you!
(Does it count as a riff if it's in a host segment? What if it's meta?)


424 - Manos: The Hands of Fate - almost 3 years ago
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So. So, I told Gary that I was going on this vacation. So he goes, "Well, then, I'm goin' huntin' with Jeff next weekend." Well, then, that's when we were at Nigh's. Well, then Lou sang Fernando, and Gary, oh he sings so good. You should meet Jeff sometime. Do you like Barry Manilow songs? I know that farmers need rain, but when it's damp like this, my hair just explodes! Just explodes. Ooo, I'm feeling kinda gassy. McNuggets, they make me so gassy, you know all that grease, you know. It really helps if you drink 8-10 glasses of water a day. But you know sometimes I drink 5, sometimes I drink 9 to make up for the other 3 I didn't drink. Coffee and diet drinks don't count, either. You know, this is pretty country, isn't it? You know it's really kind of a blessing in disguise that I didn't get accepted to college, huh? You know, I'm going to have to revise my twenty year plan, but... Oh, did I tell you about my twenty year plan? Okay, well. Okay, listen here. In year one, this is the year where I'm going to take off those extra seven pounds. You know that's equal to seven pounds of butter? Heh heh heh! So it's like I'm wearin' seven pounds of butter! Ha! Eh, oh... Where was I? Oh, oh yes. So my aunt and uncle here were celebrating their twentieth anniversary. My uncle wanted to sing Sunrise, Sunset. He wanted me to sing that, and I haven't sung that since Cindy's wedding, and, well, she never thanked me for that. Well, I'm still, uh... Well, she's probably really busy and all...


K15 - Superdome - about 1 year ago
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"Show them a quarterback and all they see is a capitol asset..."
Only off by two letters.


K14 - Mighty Jack - about 1 year ago
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He looks like Frank Conniff.


K14 - Mighty Jack - about 1 year ago
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They dubbed his fingers!


K14 - Mighty Jack - about 1 year ago
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What some street performers will do to get an audience...


K10 - Cosmic Princess - about 1 year ago
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It's the gorilla his dreams.


311 - It Conquered the World - almost 3 years ago
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Hey, where's the voiceover guy? Did he go to the bathroom or something?


108 - The Slime People - almost 3 years ago
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"Did you actually see the wall?" No, I saw them on the Dark Side of the Moon tour.