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Rocket J. Forklift (Paul-Gabriel Wiener)
In Third star to the left, and straight on 'til midafternoon
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Hi there! There's no place for an "about me" thing in the profile, so I'm posting on my own wall. If you're curious enough to come to this page, maybe you want to know something. So here are a few things, in no particular order:

* I have long names. Call me whatever works. I usually go by "Paul." "Rocky" works here. The full screen name is just there to amuse me.

* "Favorite" episodes are unsorted, and somewhat arbitrary. Depends on my mood when I watched. But I'm generally not one to pick favorites. I enjoy something or not, on its own terms. I don't like pitting them against each other to say which is better or not as good.

* I'm fairly open about stuff, and I like getting to know cool people. Feel free to drop me a line, ask questions, check out my FB profile. Or not. Whatever floats your giant turtle.

That's it for now. Have a MSTie day, and keep circulating the AVI files!


Favorite Episodes

  1. The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy
    206
  2. Phase IV
    60
  3. SST: Death Flight
    76
  4. Robot Monster
    153
  5. Moon Zero Two
    199
  6. Untamed Youth
    134
  7. Cave Dwellers
    430
  8. Pod People
    560
  9. Catalina Caper
    266
  10. Time of the Apes
    276
  11. War of the Colossal Beast
    224
  12. The Unearthly
    200
  13. The Giant Gila Monster
    254
  14. Teenagers from Outer Space
    279
  15. Attack of the Giant Leeches
    215
  16. Hercules Unchained
    181
  17. Mighty Jack
    172
  18. Star Force: Fugitive Alien II
    251
  19. Fugitive Alien
    327
  20. The Magic Sword
    205
  21. Hercules and the Captive Women
    157
  22. Fire Maidens of Outer Space
    223
  23. The Rebel Set
    160
  24. The Human Duplicators
    206
  25. Bride of the Monster
    233
  26. Manos: The Hands of Fate
    677
  27. Warrior of the Lost World
    327
  28. Secret Agent Super Dragon
    214
  29. The Magic Voyage of Sinbad
    218
  30. Operation Double 007
    233
  31. The Girl in Lovers Lane
    222
  32. Gunslinger
    161
  33. Mitchell
    574
  34. The Wild World of Batwoman
    231
  35. Alien from L.A.
    275
  36. Outlaw of Gor
    313
  37. Radar Secret Service
    222
  38. 12 to the Moon
    201
  39. The Skydivers
    270
  40. Last of the Wild Horses
    160
  41. The Starfighters
    234

Recent Comments with recent replies

108 - The Slime People - over 3 years ago
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I am very confused by that fan letter. The girl writes to the MST3K crew, and asks them for... an address she can write to?


Idiocy, Thy Name Is Tom Gregory
108 - The Slime People - almost 5 years ago
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So Tom Gregory flies into LA, sees it wrecked, people dead, etc. Bonnie tells him the tale of the Slime People and how the Army fought them and lost. Then he mentions that he's a newscaster ("sports, mostly"). How could he not have heard about this story?? The ARMY fought monsters. The entire city of Los Angeles was EVACUATED. Yet it's all news to this asshat "newscaster."


108 - The Slime People - almost 2 years ago
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Tolliver gets left just outside the door and they don't even bother checking on him. There's no chance he could have survived. Five minutes later, Bonnie disappears and they know she's alive because of course the slime people would kidnap her to draw the rest of them out.

In other news, salt water dissolves the fog wall, but at no point during the war did human blood have any noticeable effect.


319 - War of the Colossal Beast - over 3 years ago
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10 laughs

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Mars is supposed to be this bleak, draconian place, yet they have ice-cream and tickle-rays.


6 laughs

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I love all the dashboard readings in this... Tenperature, Sunny Side, Other Side... And the one from the first half, Air Presser or something similar...


Explain Your Avatar
Forum - over 1 year ago
3 laughs

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Some of these forum avatars are too damn small to make out what/who they are. Who has some 'splainin' to do?

...and get off my damn lawn....


So let me get this straight...
407 - The Killer Shrews - over 3 years ago
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The problem is the growing threat of overpopulation. The doc's solution is to slow down human metabolism so we consume fewer resources. (Really, this would only affect food consumption.) Put aside for the moment that he can do so without reducing activity level. (Which is either a direct self-contradiction or what he really means is that he's increasing efficiency.) The side effects of his plan are, he tells us, twofold. First, humans will be half their present size. (Which means the next step of his plan will be to convince the entire human race to choose to have dwarf children.) The second is that the human lifespan will be doubled. (Er, doc? I thought the point of this exercise was to address overpopulation. You don't see any problem...? No? Okay, then...) His method for bringing on this massive change in biology is breeding. (Which, in the case of humans, means eugenics. So maybe, instead of a species-wide breeding program, it would be simpler and easier to just convince the entire human race to limit themselves to two children per couple?) He's chosen shrews as his test subjects because their two-week life cycle allows him to rapidly advance his breeding program. (The nine months he's been at this translates into roughly 18 generations, then? If you're so worried about the looming threat, maybe you should try for a solution that won't take centuries to implement?) Unfortunately, in the course of his experiments to make animals smaller and less hungry (which he says have been successful) , he somehow produced a generation of mutants that grew to 20 times the size of their parents (how does that work?) while remaining just as ravenous as the creatures he started out with in the first place. Also, they're immune to poison. In fact, they can drink it up, store it in their saliva glands (which were never designed to do any such thing), and keep it in their mouths for days without ever running out. A poison, mind you, which is so deadly that a mere scratch will kill an adult human in about a minute. Oh, and also, despite the whole point being to reduce their metabolism, they're no longer nocturnal, and will hunt night and day even as they starve to death. But, while they will turn upon each other, they'll only do so as an absolute last resort, which means that they'll first hunt down the last remaining food on the island, and not even bother going after the corpses of their own, which said food has killed.

Is that about right? Did I miss anything? No wonder the spineless ex-fiancée drank so much.


NCNL XIIIX
Forum - 2 months ago
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I keep trying to make these uncommentable and you keep frustrating me. This should learn ya.


405 - Being from Another Planet - almost 2 years ago
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I just noticed for the first time, when they were X-Raying the mummy, they were all just standing around it with no protection. They all got Ten times the normal does.


Forum - 3 months ago
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Which KTMA ep would you most like see riffed in later seasons and which trio would you like doing the riffing? Choose ones not reriffed already in later eps and feel free to choose multiple eps and trios(I like the word trio).


203 - Jungle Goddess - over 3 years ago
3 laughs

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I give up. What is a five letter word for rum & diet Pepsi?


Recent Riffs

113 - The Black Scorpion - over 3 years ago
2 laughs

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You know, Gary talked that way to me once. ... Once.


311 - It Conquered the World - over 3 years ago
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He never used to make deals with the devil before...


607 - Bloodlust - over 3 years ago
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Thank you for your request to come pick you up. We are sorry to inform you that we cannot...


414 - Tormented - over 3 years ago
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Charles Moffett...


K09 - Phase IV - over 3 years ago
2 laughs

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Servo: Come on, Joel! We're joshing you!
(Does it count as a riff if it's in a host segment? What if it's meta?)


424 - Manos: The Hands of Fate - over 3 years ago
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So. So, I told Gary that I was going on this vacation. So he goes, "Well, then, I'm goin' huntin' with Jeff next weekend." Well, then, that's when we were at Nigh's. Well, then Lou sang Fernando, and Gary, oh he sings so good. You should meet Jeff sometime. Do you like Barry Manilow songs? I know that farmers need rain, but when it's damp like this, my hair just explodes! Just explodes. Ooo, I'm feeling kinda gassy. McNuggets, they make me so gassy, you know all that grease, you know. It really helps if you drink 8-10 glasses of water a day. But you know sometimes I drink 5, sometimes I drink 9 to make up for the other 3 I didn't drink. Coffee and diet drinks don't count, either. You know, this is pretty country, isn't it? You know it's really kind of a blessing in disguise that I didn't get accepted to college, huh? You know, I'm going to have to revise my twenty year plan, but... Oh, did I tell you about my twenty year plan? Okay, well. Okay, listen here. In year one, this is the year where I'm going to take off those extra seven pounds. You know that's equal to seven pounds of butter? Heh heh heh! So it's like I'm wearin' seven pounds of butter! Ha! Eh, oh... Where was I? Oh, oh yes. So my aunt and uncle here were celebrating their twentieth anniversary. My uncle wanted to sing Sunrise, Sunset. He wanted me to sing that, and I haven't sung that since Cindy's wedding, and, well, she never thanked me for that. Well, I'm still, uh... Well, she's probably really busy and all...


K15 - Superdome - almost 2 years ago
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"Show them a quarterback and all they see is a capitol asset..."
Only off by two letters.


K14 - Mighty Jack - almost 2 years ago
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He looks like Frank Conniff.


K14 - Mighty Jack - almost 2 years ago
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They dubbed his fingers!


K14 - Mighty Jack - almost 2 years ago
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What some street performers will do to get an audience...


K10 - Cosmic Princess - almost 2 years ago
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It's the gorilla his dreams.


311 - It Conquered the World - over 3 years ago
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Hey, where's the voiceover guy? Did he go to the bathroom or something?