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Rocket J. Forklift (Paul-Gabriel Wiener)
In Third star to the left, and straight on 'til midafternoon
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Hi there! There's no place for an "about me" thing in the profile, so I'm posting on my own wall. If you're curious enough to come to this page, maybe you want to know something. So here are a few things, in no particular order:

* I have long names. Call me whatever works. I usually go by "Paul." "Rocky" works here. The full screen name is just there to amuse me.

* "Favorite" episodes are unsorted, and somewhat arbitrary. Depends on my mood when I watched. But I'm generally not one to pick favorites. I enjoy something or not, on its own terms. I don't like pitting them against each other to say which is better or not as good.

* I'm fairly open about stuff, and I like getting to know cool people. Feel free to drop me a line, ask questions, check out my FB profile. Or not. Whatever floats your giant turtle.

That's it for now. Have a MSTie day, and keep circulating the AVI files!


Favorite Episodes

  1. The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy
    197
  2. Phase IV
    57
  3. SST: Death Flight
    75
  4. Robot Monster
    150
  5. Moon Zero Two
    190
  6. Untamed Youth
    132
  7. Cave Dwellers
    419
  8. Pod People
    550
  9. Catalina Caper
    258
  10. Time of the Apes
    265
  11. War of the Colossal Beast
    216
  12. The Unearthly
    194
  13. The Giant Gila Monster
    246
  14. Teenagers from Outer Space
    276
  15. Attack of the Giant Leeches
    208
  16. Hercules Unchained
    177
  17. Mighty Jack
    166
  18. Star Force: Fugitive Alien II
    249
  19. Fugitive Alien
    320
  20. The Magic Sword
    201
  21. Hercules and the Captive Women
    152
  22. Fire Maidens of Outer Space
    217
  23. The Rebel Set
    156
  24. The Human Duplicators
    201
  25. Bride of the Monster
    227
  26. Manos: The Hands of Fate
    663
  27. Warrior of the Lost World
    318
  28. Secret Agent Super Dragon
    212
  29. The Magic Voyage of Sinbad
    209
  30. Operation Double 007
    227
  31. The Girl in Lovers Lane
    217
  32. Gunslinger
    160
  33. Mitchell
    565
  34. The Wild World of Batwoman
    227
  35. Alien from L.A.
    268
  36. Outlaw of Gor
    307
  37. Radar Secret Service
    216
  38. 12 to the Moon
    198
  39. The Skydivers
    266
  40. Last of the Wild Horses
    158
  41. The Starfighters
    230

Recent Comments with recent replies

407 - The Killer Shrews - over 3 years ago
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"Anybody else care for one?"
"I could use some coffee."
"Irish or Spanish?"


NCNL XIII you lucky people
Forum - about 9 hours ago
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Mornington Crescent rules this week. Sequential laighs allowed, but no diagonals, except on days with a "Y" in them.


Forum - 6 days ago
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For those few who might be wondering, Dad is well on the road to full recovery. He's still lacking a bit of stamina (understandable), but he's eating normally. He went to all of church yesterday. My mom just sent me an email that he's actually gone out to his wood shop to work. It's been probably two months since he's been out there.

So I guess I'm going to need to ask him if he's ready for me to make his favorite cookies. :)


NCNL XIII
Forum - 9 days ago
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You have been very good about no laighs so well done.


So, let me get this straight...
913 - Quest of the Delta Knights - almost 2 years ago
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Archemedes used science to prophecize that in 1000 years, a child prodigy would arrive, stumbling and half blind. He knew that the kid grew up in a house on a sandstone hill, and that in the English language (which did not yet exist) the word "right" would have two meanings. But he was stabbed before he could write down the part where the entire venture was pointless because the kid was going to be captured by a petty local warlord (after denying help from a princess with a small army at her command), which would convince the kid to blow it all up because the world was better off without all that dangerous science stuff.


So let me get this straight...
407 - The Killer Shrews - over 3 years ago
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The problem is the growing threat of overpopulation. The doc's solution is to slow down human metabolism so we consume fewer resources. (Really, this would only affect food consumption.) Put aside for the moment that he can do so without reducing activity level. (Which is either a direct self-contradiction or what he really means is that he's increasing efficiency.) The side effects of his plan are, he tells us, twofold. First, humans will be half their present size. (Which means the next step of his plan will be to convince the entire human race to choose to have dwarf children.) The second is that the human lifespan will be doubled. (Er, doc? I thought the point of this exercise was to address overpopulation. You don't see any problem...? No? Okay, then...) His method for bringing on this massive change in biology is breeding. (Which, in the case of humans, means eugenics. So maybe, instead of a species-wide breeding program, it would be simpler and easier to just convince the entire human race to limit themselves to two children per couple?) He's chosen shrews as his test subjects because their two-week life cycle allows him to rapidly advance his breeding program. (The nine months he's been at this translates into roughly 18 generations, then? If you're so worried about the looming threat, maybe you should try for a solution that won't take centuries to implement?) Unfortunately, in the course of his experiments to make animals smaller and less hungry (which he says have been successful) , he somehow produced a generation of mutants that grew to 20 times the size of their parents (how does that work?) while remaining just as ravenous as the creatures he started out with in the first place. Also, they're immune to poison. In fact, they can drink it up, store it in their saliva glands (which were never designed to do any such thing), and keep it in their mouths for days without ever running out. A poison, mind you, which is so deadly that a mere scratch will kill an adult human in about a minute. Oh, and also, despite the whole point being to reduce their metabolism, they're no longer nocturnal, and will hunt night and day even as they starve to death. But, while they will turn upon each other, they'll only do so as an absolute last resort, which means that they'll first hunt down the last remaining food on the island, and not even bother going after the corpses of their own, which said food has killed.

Is that about right? Did I miss anything? No wonder the spineless ex-fiancée drank so much.


No Comments: No Laighs XII
Forum - 15 days ago
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Rules suspended for....now. [PAUSE]
OK: rules now back in play. You had your chance.


413 - Manhunt in Space - over 3 years ago
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So, besides the technical issues mentioned below with "cold light" how is it that they left an invisible spaceship parked at two different large spaceports, and never once had to worry about another ship trying to land on the same pad or service personnel and vehicles running into it?


601 - Girls Town - about 3 years ago
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This whole movie is a roller coaster for me. Start with Mel ignoring rape to go back to making out with his girlfriend. Then the painfully stupid and awful gang fight. Then fantastic riffing mixed with catcalling. Then Mel, who let the rape happen, obstructed justice, fled from vehicular manslaughter, kidnapped an underage girl, set her up to be sexually assaulted again, and planned to sell her into prostitution in Mexico (all because the only thing he cares about is his car) gets to walk away scott free just for agreeing (under threat of physical violence) to testify the truth (most of which he didn't actually witness). Then some more good riffs and a mostly happy ending. Then the toxic sexism in too many of the comments below... I want to enjoy the nun jokes, but there's so much pain.


NCNL II
Forum - 22 days ago
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Recent Riffs

311 - It Conquered the World - over 3 years ago
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He never used to make deals with the devil before...


607 - Bloodlust - about 3 years ago
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Thank you for your request to come pick you up. We are sorry to inform you that we cannot...


414 - Tormented - over 3 years ago
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Charles Moffett...


K09 - Phase IV - over 3 years ago
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Servo: Come on, Joel! We're joshing you!
(Does it count as a riff if it's in a host segment? What if it's meta?)


424 - Manos: The Hands of Fate - over 3 years ago
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So. So, I told Gary that I was going on this vacation. So he goes, "Well, then, I'm goin' huntin' with Jeff next weekend." Well, then, that's when we were at Nigh's. Well, then Lou sang Fernando, and Gary, oh he sings so good. You should meet Jeff sometime. Do you like Barry Manilow songs? I know that farmers need rain, but when it's damp like this, my hair just explodes! Just explodes. Ooo, I'm feeling kinda gassy. McNuggets, they make me so gassy, you know all that grease, you know. It really helps if you drink 8-10 glasses of water a day. But you know sometimes I drink 5, sometimes I drink 9 to make up for the other 3 I didn't drink. Coffee and diet drinks don't count, either. You know, this is pretty country, isn't it? You know it's really kind of a blessing in disguise that I didn't get accepted to college, huh? You know, I'm going to have to revise my twenty year plan, but... Oh, did I tell you about my twenty year plan? Okay, well. Okay, listen here. In year one, this is the year where I'm going to take off those extra seven pounds. You know that's equal to seven pounds of butter? Heh heh heh! So it's like I'm wearin' seven pounds of butter! Ha! Eh, oh... Where was I? Oh, oh yes. So my aunt and uncle here were celebrating their twentieth anniversary. My uncle wanted to sing Sunrise, Sunset. He wanted me to sing that, and I haven't sung that since Cindy's wedding, and, well, she never thanked me for that. Well, I'm still, uh... Well, she's probably really busy and all...


K15 - Superdome - over 1 year ago
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"Show them a quarterback and all they see is a capitol asset..."
Only off by two letters.


K14 - Mighty Jack - over 1 year ago
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He looks like Frank Conniff.


K14 - Mighty Jack - over 1 year ago
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They dubbed his fingers!


K14 - Mighty Jack - over 1 year ago
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What some street performers will do to get an audience...


K10 - Cosmic Princess - over 1 year ago
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It's the gorilla his dreams.


311 - It Conquered the World - over 3 years ago
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Hey, where's the voiceover guy? Did he go to the bathroom or something?


108 - The Slime People - over 3 years ago
6 laughs

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"Did you actually see the wall?" No, I saw them on the Dark Side of the Moon tour.