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Rocket J. Forklift (Paul-Gabriel Wiener)
In Third star to the left, and straight on 'til midafternoon
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Hi there! There's no place for an "about me" thing in the profile, so I'm posting on my own wall. If you're curious enough to come to this page, maybe you want to know something. So here are a few things, in no particular order:

* I have long names. Call me whatever works. I usually go by "Paul." "Rocky" works here. The full screen name is just there to amuse me.

* "Favorite" episodes are unsorted, and somewhat arbitrary. Depends on my mood when I watched. But I'm generally not one to pick favorites. I enjoy something or not, on its own terms. I don't like pitting them against each other to say which is better or not as good.

* I'm fairly open about stuff, and I like getting to know cool people. Feel free to drop me a line, ask questions, check out my FB profile. Or not. Whatever floats your giant turtle.

That's it for now. Have a MSTie day, and keep circulating the AVI files!


Favorite Episodes

  1. The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy
    194
  2. Phase IV
    55
  3. SST: Death Flight
    74
  4. Robot Monster
    145
  5. Moon Zero Two
    185
  6. Untamed Youth
    130
  7. Cave Dwellers
    413
  8. Pod People
    535
  9. Catalina Caper
    253
  10. Time of the Apes
    258
  11. War of the Colossal Beast
    211
  12. The Unearthly
    188
  13. The Giant Gila Monster
    238
  14. Teenagers from Outer Space
    269
  15. Attack of the Giant Leeches
    204
  16. Hercules Unchained
    174
  17. Mighty Jack
    162
  18. Star Force: Fugitive Alien II
    242
  19. Fugitive Alien
    313
  20. The Magic Sword
    197
  21. Hercules and the Captive Women
    149
  22. Fire Maidens of Outer Space
    212
  23. The Rebel Set
    154
  24. The Human Duplicators
    197
  25. Bride of the Monster
    222
  26. Manos: The Hands of Fate
    654
  27. Warrior of the Lost World
    312
  28. Secret Agent Super Dragon
    209
  29. The Magic Voyage of Sinbad
    204
  30. Operation Double 007
    223
  31. The Girl in Lovers Lane
    213
  32. Gunslinger
    156
  33. Mitchell
    555
  34. The Wild World of Batwoman
    223
  35. Alien from L.A.
    261
  36. Outlaw of Gor
    300
  37. Radar Secret Service
    210
  38. 12 to the Moon
    193
  39. The Skydivers
    260
  40. Last of the Wild Horses
    154
  41. The Starfighters
    224

Recent Comments with recent replies

424 - Manos: The Hands of Fate - almost 3 years ago
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You know, on paper, this isn't actually a bad movie. Let's look at the plot:

Family gets lost, stay over at the creepy old house in the middle of nowhere staffed by a deformed, possibly demonic man (or satyr). They decide to run, but the car won't start and they know they can't get anywhere on foot. Creepy things start happening, and they get increasingly scared until they try to run anyway. But it's too late. The undead master has awoken, and is determined to claim the wife for his own and kill the rest. The "brides" he's already claimed (who have red tails) awaken and go into a Maenad-like frenzy. The servant rebels, and is torn asunder by the "wives" he coveted and fondled. Above, the father, in desperation, tries to shoot the master. He seems to succeed, but, in a final twist, we find that he's become the new servant.

I've certainly seen much weaker horror movie plots. If anything, the weakest parts of it are the common tropes.

It's not like the cast was terrible, either. Torgo's reportedly drug-addled twitching fits right in with the role. The family and the "wives" give at least decent performances. The Master is a little wooden when he's not hamming it up, but, again, I've seen worse.

If they'd had a bit more polish to the script, a camera that could handle more than 32 seconds without needing a new reel and which could actually pick up sound, a cameraman who knew what he was doing, a director who understood pacing, an editor who cared (and who could do things like overlay the opening titles on top of that first driving sequence, as reportedly had been planned)...

It could have been a fairly average low-budget horror flick. Which is actually kind of impressive, given that it was written and produced on a bet by a fertilizer salesman with zero experience and the cast and crew were working basically for free (having agreed to get paid from the box office profits).


323 - The Castle of Fu Manchu - almost 3 years ago
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A movie about a British spy trying to stop an Asian supervillain's plot for world domination? Hmm. Let me see. The first Christopher Lee Fu Manchu film was 1965. The first James Bond film, Dr. No, was 1962. Both characters had existed for decades prior, but 1965 was the first Fu Manchu feature film. I wonder if the success of the Bond movie had anything to do with it.


101 - The Crawling Eye - about 3 years ago
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Kind of weird to have Josh doing most of the fat jokes. He wasn't exactly a lightweight back then. Growing up as the fat kid, I guess I learned to beat people to those jokes. But always at myself. Never at anyone else.


323 - The Castle of Fu Manchu - over 6 years ago
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I'm more than half an hour into watching this experiment for the first time. I just watched a 3 or 4 minute scene filled with dialogue. I have no idea who they were or what they were talking about. Mighty Jack was more coherent than this...


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This movie has a link to a KTMA episode.

Fu Manchu was created by Arthur Ward under the pen name Sax Rohmer. According to Wiki:

Sax Rohmer, without any prior knowledge and understanding of Chinese culture, decided to start the Fu Manchu series after his ouija board spelled out C-H-I-N-A-M-A-N when he asked what was the most dangerous competition to the white man. During the time period, the idea of the Yellow Peril was spreading in North American society.

The character was pretty popular for a while. Enough so that popular demand forced Ward to revive the series even after he got tired of it. Eventually, though, people started to realize how casually racist it all was. Fu Manchu dropped in popularity. So Ward created a new, equally incomprehensible series about a maniacal exotic evil mastermind, Sumuru. They made several Sumuru movies, one of which is shown in season 0 episode 18. If you think this movie is bad, check out that one.


322 - Master Ninja I - 22 days ago
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I love Tom's Japanese lantern head in the chucks segment. Especially since the top kanji appears to be Crow's face. I can't make out the other two, though.


320 - The Unearthly - over 5 years ago
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hey! get a load of those crow legs! yowzah!!


322 - Master Ninja I - 22 days ago
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It's weird to think that this TV show was a cheap rip-off of both The Hulk (everyman hero wanders the country in search of something he'll never find, and ends up fighting crime to save the people he meets along the way) and Kung Fu: The Legend Continues (martial arts action drama, but with an old White guy because the network was afraid no one would watch an Asian lead, accompanied by a younger apprentice because no one would watch an old guy), but I guess it's not surprising that someone would pitch it, given the popularity of the shows. And the thing is that those shows (as well as Knight Rider and A-Team) were pretty cheesy and formulaic, too. But The Master just seems to lack something. Bill Bixby's heart, George Peppard's larger than life grin, KITT's shiny technology... The seldom-seen hamster just doesn't make up for it.


322 - Master Ninja I - almost 6 years ago
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Demi Moore did this and STILL had a career?!?! Is there no god?


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They are born, and electronic teaching machines are wired into their brains while they're still infants. They spend the rest of their lives with machines surgically attached to their heads. This movie invented the Borg.


Recent Riffs

311 - It Conquered the World - almost 3 years ago
2 laughs

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He never used to make deals with the devil before...


607 - Bloodlust - almost 3 years ago
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Thank you for your request to come pick you up. We are sorry to inform you that we cannot...


414 - Tormented - almost 3 years ago
1 laugh

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Charles Moffett...


K09 - Phase IV - about 3 years ago
2 laughs

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Servo: Come on, Joel! We're joshing you!
(Does it count as a riff if it's in a host segment? What if it's meta?)


424 - Manos: The Hands of Fate - almost 3 years ago
4 laughs

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So. So, I told Gary that I was going on this vacation. So he goes, "Well, then, I'm goin' huntin' with Jeff next weekend." Well, then, that's when we were at Nigh's. Well, then Lou sang Fernando, and Gary, oh he sings so good. You should meet Jeff sometime. Do you like Barry Manilow songs? I know that farmers need rain, but when it's damp like this, my hair just explodes! Just explodes. Ooo, I'm feeling kinda gassy. McNuggets, they make me so gassy, you know all that grease, you know. It really helps if you drink 8-10 glasses of water a day. But you know sometimes I drink 5, sometimes I drink 9 to make up for the other 3 I didn't drink. Coffee and diet drinks don't count, either. You know, this is pretty country, isn't it? You know it's really kind of a blessing in disguise that I didn't get accepted to college, huh? You know, I'm going to have to revise my twenty year plan, but... Oh, did I tell you about my twenty year plan? Okay, well. Okay, listen here. In year one, this is the year where I'm going to take off those extra seven pounds. You know that's equal to seven pounds of butter? Heh heh heh! So it's like I'm wearin' seven pounds of butter! Ha! Eh, oh... Where was I? Oh, oh yes. So my aunt and uncle here were celebrating their twentieth anniversary. My uncle wanted to sing Sunrise, Sunset. He wanted me to sing that, and I haven't sung that since Cindy's wedding, and, well, she never thanked me for that. Well, I'm still, uh... Well, she's probably really busy and all...


K15 - Superdome - over 1 year ago
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"Show them a quarterback and all they see is a capitol asset..."
Only off by two letters.


K14 - Mighty Jack - over 1 year ago
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He looks like Frank Conniff.


K14 - Mighty Jack - over 1 year ago
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They dubbed his fingers!


K14 - Mighty Jack - over 1 year ago
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What some street performers will do to get an audience...


K10 - Cosmic Princess - over 1 year ago
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It's the gorilla his dreams.


311 - It Conquered the World - almost 3 years ago
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Hey, where's the voiceover guy? Did he go to the bathroom or something?


108 - The Slime People - about 3 years ago
6 laughs

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"Did you actually see the wall?" No, I saw them on the Dark Side of the Moon tour.