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Rocket J. Forklift (Paul-Gabriel Wiener)
In Third star to the left, and straight on 'til midafternoon
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Hi there! There's no place for an "about me" thing in the profile, so I'm posting on my own wall. If you're curious enough to come to this page, maybe you want to know something. So here are a few things, in no particular order:

* I have long names. Call me whatever works. I usually go by "Paul." "Rocky" works here. The full screen name is just there to amuse me.

* "Favorite" episodes are unsorted, and somewhat arbitrary. Depends on my mood when I watched. But I'm generally not one to pick favorites. I enjoy something or not, on its own terms. I don't like pitting them against each other to say which is better or not as good.

* I'm fairly open about stuff, and I like getting to know cool people. Feel free to drop me a line, ask questions, check out my FB profile. Or not. Whatever floats your giant turtle.

That's it for now. Have a MSTie day, and keep circulating the AVI files!


Favorite Episodes

  1. The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy
    171
  2. Phase IV
    47
  3. SST: Death Flight
    67
  4. Robot Monster
    131
  5. Moon Zero Two
    161
  6. Untamed Youth
    109
  7. Cave Dwellers
    367
  8. Pod People
    485
  9. Catalina Caper
    233
  10. Time of the Apes
    230
  11. War of the Colossal Beast
    192
  12. The Unearthly
    171
  13. The Giant Gila Monster
    206
  14. Teenagers from Outer Space
    232
  15. Attack of the Giant Leeches
    178
  16. Hercules Unchained
    157
  17. Mighty Jack
    146
  18. Star Force: Fugitive Alien II
    215
  19. Fugitive Alien
    276
  20. The Magic Sword
    174
  21. Hercules and the Captive Women
    131
  22. Fire Maidens of Outer Space
    184
  23. The Rebel Set
    138
  24. The Human Duplicators
    171
  25. Bride of the Monster
    196
  26. Manos: The Hands of Fate
    607
  27. Warrior of the Lost World
    282
  28. Secret Agent Super Dragon
    185
  29. The Magic Voyage of Sinbad
    182
  30. Operation Double 007
    199
  31. The Girl in Lovers Lane
    194
  32. Gunslinger
    134
  33. Mitchell
    506
  34. The Wild World of Batwoman
    193
  35. Alien from L.A.
    242
  36. Outlaw of Gor
    270
  37. Radar Secret Service
    182
  38. 12 to the Moon
    174
  39. The Skydivers
    228
  40. Last of the Wild Horses
    137
  41. The Starfighters
    202

Recent Comments with recent replies

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523 - Village of the Giants - over 3 years ago

Just because they're big doesn't mean shooting them won't work. Oh for dumb.


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9:45 How did they not comment on the naval guard wearing an actual utility belt?


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403 - City Limits - about 1 year ago

Wow! They called Caitlyn Jenner decades early!


So let me get this straight...
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407 - The Killer Shrews - about 1 year ago

The problem is the growing threat of overpopulation. The doc's solution is to slow down human metabolism so we consume fewer resources. (Really, this would only affect food consumption.) Put aside for the moment that he can do so without reducing activity level. (Which is either a direct self-contradiction or what he really means is that he's increasing efficiency.) The side effects of his plan are, he tells us, twofold. First, humans will be half their present size. (Which means the next step of his plan will be to convince the entire human race to choose to have dwarf children.) The second is that the human lifespan will be doubled. (Er, doc? I thought the point of this exercise was to address overpopulation. You don't see any problem...? No? Okay, then...) His method for bringing on this massive change in biology is breeding. (Which, in the case of humans, means eugenics. So maybe, instead of a species-wide breeding program, it would be simpler and easier to just convince the entire human race to limit themselves to two children per couple?) He's chosen shrews as his test subjects because their two-week life cycle allows him to rapidly advance his breeding program. (The nine months he's been at this translates into roughly 18 generations, then? If you're so worried about the looming threat, maybe you should try for a solution that won't take centuries to implement?) Unfortunately, in the course of his experiments to make animals smaller and less hungry (which he says have been successful) , he somehow produced a generation of mutants that grew to 20 times the size of their parents (how does that work?) while remaining just as ravenous as the creatures he started out with in the first place. Also, they're immune to poison. In fact, they can drink it up, store it in their saliva glands (which were never designed to do any such thing), and keep it in their mouths for days without ever running out. A poison, mind you, which is so deadly that a mere scratch will kill an adult human in about a minute. Oh, and also, despite the whole point being to reduce their metabolism, they're no longer nocturnal, and will hunt night and day even as they starve to death. But, while they will turn upon each other, they'll only do so as an absolute last resort, which means that they'll first hunt down the last remaining food on the island, and not even bother going after the corpses of their own, which said food has killed.

Is that about right? Did I miss anything? No wonder the spineless ex-fiancée drank so much.


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519 - Outlaw of Gor - almost 5 years ago

My big question is: what the hell happens to the Camaro? Is it just trans-substantiated into some kind of weird stasis in a third alternate dimension? You never see it after Cabot and his fat geek buddy "warp out" and end up on Gor. The story doesn't even deal with it; it just disappears. Lucky for the audience, I guess; otherwise they'd have been abused with a boring-assed twenty-minute comic-relief scene where the band of desert marauders tries to make sense out of this weird chariot lying in the desert all busted up.


In defense of the bracelet
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313 - Earth vs. the Spider - about 1 year ago

I've said this elsewhere, but I think people are unfair to her about the bracelet. Think about it:

You're 17. Young enough to still depend on your parents, but old enough to have a more mature understanding of love. A child just getting ready to leave the nest. Your father, in his devotion to you, makes a long trip along dark country roads for the sole purpose of buying you a birthday present. Your worries about him prove true when you personally find a trail of clues that builds inevitably to you finding his dead body. The monster that killed him attacks, and, in the panic, you lose the gift. His last gift to you. He died trying to bring it to you. People tell you it's not your fault, but in your heart you can't bring yourself to believe it. He never would have risked that trip if not for love of you. You're still trying to deal with the shock and trauma of finding his body, and your grief at his sudden loss. That bracelet is the focus of it all. His love, his death, his sacrifice, your guilt... He died to bring it to you, and you lost it. There's nothing you can do to bring him back, but that bracelet... You have to get it back.

That's all established in the film. Why do people blame her and call her selfish and dismiss the bracelet as just another piece of jewelry?

Besides, she had no idea they were going to blow up the cave. At the time she left, the idea hadn't even been proposed. (Actually, at that point, didn't they think the pesticides had done the job?) She had no idea she was endangering anyone else.


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108 - The Slime People - over 1 year ago

The bad guys run up the steep mountainside, trying to escape. Gee, if only Cody had some way to make that climb faster so he could head them off...


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What's that? You're a total stranger with no references, no possessions, no income, and you won't even tell us a single thing about you beyond your first name? No problem! Come live in my house for free, take my son's clothes, borrow the car, and go drive off with my teenage daughter. I'm sure it'll be fine. Oh? You don't know how to drive? No license? Never been in a car before? Well, Betty can teach you the basics. I'm sure you'll figure it out. Say, wait a sec. You're not a Russian spy or anything, are you? Nah, just kidding. Forget I asked. Go on, have fun!


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420 - The Human Duplicators - about 1 year ago

I've never seen a guy so actively disinterested in romancing his girlfriend. What was up with that? I think she'd have been better off with the android duplicate. (Or were those nightclub signs we saw on the way to dinner trying to tell us something?)


A reference to a reference to a reference back to home
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301 - Cave Dwellers - over 1 year ago

"Grog just threw a bone into the air, and it turned into a spaceship!" I'm betting you recognize the reference to the beginning of 2001: A Space Odyssey.

http://youtu.be/qtbOmpTnyOc

The monolith appears, the apes evolve. They learn to use bones as weapons. This is the Dawn of Man. The ape throws the bone into the air, and, as it tumbles in freefall, we cut to a bone-shaped spaceship.

The scene was parodied in a Monty Python cartoon:

http://youtu.be/bLfN9psJo_E

And then, decades later, when a local TV show got picked up by a national network, they designed their spaceship to look like a giant bone in reference to those two clips. (An old sci-fi movie and a riff on it.)

So Crow's riff comes full circle to the Satellite of Love.


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If this was being riffed now, there would be so many Bernie Sanders jokes. Whatever you may think of his politics, it's hard these days to hear someone decrying income inequality without him jumping to mind.


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607 - Bloodlust - almost 3 years ago

Servo reads from right to left.


Recent Riffs

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108 - The Slime People - over 1 year ago

Kissing you is like plunging my tongue into a vat of shiitake mushrooms.


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408 - Hercules Unchained - about 1 year ago

"What's my name?" Who's my daddy? Is he rich like me?


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424 - Manos: The Hands of Fate - about 1 year ago

So. So, I told Gary that I was going on this vacation. So he goes, "Well, then, I'm goin' huntin' with Jeff next weekend." Well, then, that's when we were at Nigh's. Well, then Lou sang Fernando, and Gary, oh he sings so good. You should meet Jeff sometime. Do you like Barry Manilow songs? I know that farmers need rain, but when it's damp like this, my hair just explodes! Just explodes. Ooo, I'm feeling kinda gassy. McNuggets, they make me so gassy, you know all that grease, you know. It really helps if you drink 8-10 glasses of water a day. But you know sometimes I drink 5, sometimes I drink 9 to make up for the other 3 I didn't drink. Coffee and diet drinks don't count, either. You know, this is pretty country, isn't it? You know it's really kind of a blessing in disguise that I didn't get accepted to college, huh? You know, I'm going to have to revise my twenty year plan, but... Oh, did I tell you about my twenty year plan? Okay, well. Okay, listen here. In year one, this is the year where I'm going to take off those extra seven pounds. You know that's equal to seven pounds of butter? Heh heh heh! So it's like I'm wearin' seven pounds of butter! Ha! Eh, oh... Where was I? Oh, oh yes. So my aunt and uncle here were celebrating their twentieth anniversary. My uncle wanted to sing Sunrise, Sunset. He wanted me to sing that, and I haven't sung that since Cindy's wedding, and, well, she never thanked me for that. Well, I'm still, uh... Well, she's probably really busy and all...


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502 - Hercules - about 1 year ago

(Chariot runs out of control) PUT IT IN SECOND!


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603 - The Dead Talk Back - about 1 year ago

Uh, excuse me, any of you know what evil lurks in the heart of man?


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420 - The Human Duplicators - about 1 year ago

Now this is why I bought the place.
You know, you don't usually find a full dungeon in Southern California.
No, you usually get kind of a half dungeon, is all.


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107 - Robot Monster - over 1 year ago

You MIT guys think you're pretty tough!


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107 - Robot Monster - over 1 year ago

He flies better than Superman!


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602 - Invasion USA - about 1 year ago

Do they really have to follow the roads when they're flying?
It's the freeway to the danger zone.


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615 - Kitten with a Whip - about 1 year ago

D'oh. Now he has to keep her and get rabies shots.


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615 - Kitten with a Whip - about 1 year ago

(Another newspaper thrown onto the pile on the lawn) Good to see the senator keeping up with the issues...


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615 - Kitten with a Whip - about 1 year ago

What do we have here? Early American Danish Modern Colonial?