Bg
Alex C. lives in a van down by the river
In a location beyond time and time

Wall Posts

Favorite Episodes

  1. Hercules Against the Moon Men
    196
  2. Warrior of the Lost World
    302
  3. Invasion of the Neptune Men
    227
  4. The Touch of Satan
    319
  5. The Final Sacrifice
    711
  6. Final Justice
    248
  7. Teenage Strangler
    294
  8. Ring of Terror
    178
  9. Eegah
    362
  10. The Skydivers
    251
  11. Beginning of the End
    245
  12. High School Big Shot
    175
  13. The Rebel Set
    148
  14. The Beatniks
    173
  15. The Wild World of Batwoman
    215
  16. Fire Maidens of Outer Space
    207
  17. City Limits
    159
  18. Girl in Gold Boots
    262
  19. 12 to the Moon
    185
  20. Girls Town
    272
  21. Night of the Blood Beast
    290
  22. The Phantom Planet
    206
  23. Teenage Crime Wave
    169
  24. Space Travelers
    138
  25. The Leech Woman
    215
  26. Quest of the Delta Knights
    245
  27. Agent for H.A.R.M.
    242
  28. Time of the Apes
    253
  29. The Beast of Yucca Flats
    240
  30. Women of the Prehistoric Planet
    154
  31. Moon Zero Two
    178
  32. Kitten with a Whip
    145
  33. Project Moonbase
    107
  34. Laserblast
    363
  35. The Black Scorpion
    111
  36. The Screaming Skull
    250
  37. Santa Claus
    269
  38. Outlaw of Gor
    291
  39. Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
    394
  40. Earth vs. the Spider
    184
  41. The Space Children
    162
  42. Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
    300
  43. The Deadly Bees
    202
  44. It Lives by Night
    161
  45. Pod People
    522
  46. Tormented
    208
  47. Squirm
    216
  48. City on Fire
    47
  49. Red Zone Cuba
    216
  50. The Amazing Transparent Man
    131
  51. The Giant Spider Invasion
    323
  52. Zombie Nightmare
    283
  53. The Girl in Lovers Lane
    208
  54. Teenagers from Outer Space
    262
  55. Puma Man
    478
  56. The Violent Years
    156
  57. The Unearthly
    180
  58. Assignment: Venezuela (the lost short)
    160
  59. The Slime People
    117
  60. The Incredible Melting Man
    251
  61. I Accuse My Parents
    376
  62. First Spaceship on Venus
    140
  63. The Dead Talk Back
    264
  64. Soultaker
    346
  65. Escape 2000
    238
  66. Monster A-Go Go
    319
  67. Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell
    314
  68. Bride of the Monster
    215
  69. Space Mutiny
    847
  70. Time Chasers
    410
  71. Future War
    241
  72. Prince of Space
    425
  73. Track of the Moon Beast
    258
  74. Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues
    319
  75. San Francisco International
    245
  76. Gamera
    224
  77. Devil Doll
    230
  78. Gorgo
    158
  79. Parts: The Clonus Horror
    257
  80. Devil Fish
    236
  81. Alien from L.A.
    257
  82. Village of the Giants
    180
  83. The Atomic Brain
    154
  84. Colossus and the Headhunters
    166
  85. Bloodlust
    172
  86. Lassie: The Painted Hills
    140
  87. The Creeping Terror
    234
  88. The Deadly Mantis
    197
  89. Invasion USA
    160
  90. Blood Waters of Dr. Z
    197
  91. SST: Death Flight
    74
  92. Gamera vs. Gaos
    139
  93. Riding with Death
    361
  94. The Starfighters
    219
  95. The Brain that Wouldn't Die
    313
  96. Mitchell
    539
  97. Werewolf
    497
  98. Master Ninja I
    238
  99. Master Ninja II
    149
  100. Teenage Caveman
    140
  101. Attack of the the Eye Creatures
    210
  102. The Killer Shrews
    233
  103. Last of the Wild Horses
    150
  104. Fugitive Alien
    308
  105. Rocket Attack USA
    142
  106. Rocketship X-M
    267
  107. I Was a Teenage Werewolf
    182
  108. The Brute Man
    200
  109. Robot Holocaust
    141
  110. Robot Monster
    142
  111. It Conquered the World
    258
  112. King Dinosaur
    187
  113. Horrors of Spider Island
    211
  114. The Magic Sword
    192
  115. Legend of the Dinosaurs
    42
  116. Horror of Party Beach
    297
  117. The Incredibly Strange Creatures...
    257
  118. Hercules
    145
  119. Being from Another Planet
    180
  120. Invaders from the Deep
    28
  121. Lost Continent
    230
  122. Danger! Death Ray
    435
  123. The She-Creature
    161
  124. The Mad Monster
    126
  125. The Amazing Colossal Man
    193
  126. Code Name Diamond Head
    172
  127. Hobgoblins
    371
  128. Revenge of the Creature
    205
  129. Cave Dwellers
    401
  130. Mighty Jack
    160
  131. The Day the Earth Froze
    249
  132. Radar Secret Service
    205
  133. Gamera vs. Barugon
    162
  134. Hercules and the Captive Women
    145
  135. Jack Frost
    299
  136. The Magic Voyage of Sinbad
    197
  137. The Sword and the Dragon
    206
  138. The Indestructible Man
    145
  139. Hangar 18
    44
  140. The Undead
    225
  141. Manhunt in Space
    153
  142. Terror from the Year 5000
    227
  143. War of the Colossal Beast
    207
  144. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
    279
  145. Diabolik
    196
  146. The Crawling Eye
    241
  147. The Sinister Urge
    202
  148. Godzilla vs. Megalon
    282
  149. Samson Vs The Vampire Women
    262
  150. The Sidehackers
    190
  151. Gamera vs. Zigra
    161
  152. Attack of the Giant Leeches
    197
  153. Secret Agent Super Dragon
    199
  154. The Mole People
    182
  155. Angels' Revenge
    193
  156. The Human Duplicators
    193
  157. Gamera vs. Guiron
    232

Recent Comments with recent replies

1010 - It Lives by Night - over 1 year ago
4 laughs

4 replies Comment icon
Report

Where does this movie take place? They've got both a desert and a ski resort, and must be in Central/South America, because after a bat bite, the main character displays traits of a vampire bat, and vampire bats don't live in North America. But no one speaks Spanish in the movie, so what gives?

This guy is just homicidal (sorry, "heterocidal") and mentally unhinged. The bat bite had nothing to do with anything and he's just using it as an excuse to roll his eyes and pretend to convulse every time he wants to get out of an annoying conversation. He's giving bats a bad name. Shame on him!


3 laughs

2 replies Comment icon
Report

If this was being riffed now, there would be so many Bernie Sanders jokes. Whatever you may think of his politics, it's hard these days to hear someone decrying income inequality without him jumping to mind.


109 - Project Moonbase - almost 2 years ago
4 laughs

1 reply Comment icon
Report

The Cat-Women of the Moon riff is a comment regarding a movie titled Cat-Women of the Moon, which used the same props, sets, and costumes as this movie, and the two movies were released a day apart.


Caption This!
Forum - about 2 months ago
1 laugh

28 replies Comment icon
Report

Those of you old enough to have used a typewriter to do stuff other than look like a hipster may well remember the old "Caption This!" Section of the SciFi website. Time to resurrect! Please, ladies and gentlemen: CAPTION THIS!


602 - Invasion USA - about 2 years ago
3 laughs

5 replies Comment icon
Report

Don't joke around, guys, a lot of people in this country are still afraid of communism for some reason.


508 - Operation Double 007 - over 2 years ago
2 laughs

4 replies Comment icon
Report

I hate James Bond films. (I don't see the appeal, I don't understand the appeal.) To me, this movie is actually a step up. In a lateral sort of fashion.


Discovering Club MST3K
Forum - 4 months ago
2 laughs

16 replies Comment icon
Report

How did you discover club MST3K? From a friend, a chatboard or just simply surfing the web, looking for a way to see MST3K without having to dig through Youtube. Your call, no matter how wired the discovery process was.


"Pick up a Rifle"
Forum - 4 months ago
2 laughs

5 replies Comment icon
Report

I was just watching the short 'Body Care and Grooming,' and in a scene on a school campus where there's a riff towards a guy sitting on a bench pondering what to do and Crow says, "pick up a rifle." That wouldn't have been written now I don't think. It was funny when they wrote it 25 years ago, 6 years before Columbine. I admit I laughed this time as well before I realized a second later. Is it still funny? I don't even know, but I think it's not. If nothing else, it certainly magnifies the sad state of things at hand today.


New MST - not great.
Forum - 4 months ago
2 laughs

10 replies Comment icon
Report

The new mst3k just doesn't compare to the good ol' days IMO. There's no pacing, the "riffs" are more like paragraph-long diatribes, way too often with some bs social media reference or anti-conspiracy politics thrown in. Yeah, we get it, you guys are mainstream, when are you gonna make me laugh. Stay on topic to the current stupidity of whatever crap movie is showing and get on and off it during the silent parts. Basic logic. And oh yeah, could they get someone without a high pitched whiny voice to play a robot?


"Watch it Together" Themes
Forum - 4 months ago
2 laughs

3 replies Comment icon
Report

Would I be accused of reading too much into things if I suggested that the WIT selections are being chosen to comment on current events?


Obscure riff I need help with !
Forum - 5 months ago
2 laughs

5 replies Comment icon
Report

ok, so there is a riff that's been bugging me for years now and I figured I'd ask here to see if anyone knew. The riff in question is in riding with death in the second act, where the race car with a 96 pulls up and mike chimes in with "96 oooo you keep breakin my heart" or something similar, and after exhaustive searches I've never been able to find it.
Does anyone have an idea?


Review of, "MST3k: The Return" from a newcomer.
Forum - 5 months ago
8 laughs

14 replies Comment icon
Report

So I'm a newcomer when it comes to watching two robots and a Gizmonic employee riff over some shlocky movies but after finishing the entire first season on Netflix I can tell this is for me!

I'm 15 years old and MST3k was just something I had always heard talked about but never really looked into when I saw a "return" of it on Netflix I figured this was a good time to jump in. After watching the first episode, Reptilicus in one sitting I knew this was for me. I almost immediately went to watch some of the classic episodes of the show but I figured a perspective of a first-time viewer may be useful for the show to hear so after a couple weeks I have completed the entire first season of the return, here are my thoughts.

THE GOOD

So you know I obviously enjoyed the show but here's why. The riffs are good. It's as simple as that, the riffs range from impersonations, pop culture references, catchy songs, actually clever insights, and all the things you would want to be said over a bad movie. I chuckled many times throughout an episode and none of the episodes seemed to have a dip in quality. My favorite episode though was Cry Wilderness, although that's probably because that's the episode I watched with my brother and had a blast. I also really liked the miniatures, it gave the show a unique style that I'm guessing was essential for the earlier seasons, I'm glad they didn't update that.

THE BAD

Although I really enjoyed the show I did see some things that I felt were detracting from the show, keep in mind that this is my opinion and I am a new fan so... please don't prosecute me. I felt like some of the host segments fell flat, like the crew didn't have a lot of time to rehearse or not enough time to polish it up. The segments that needed the most work were the ones with the mads they never really felt like they weren't saying scripted lines. The segments with the bots and Jonah were pretty good with a few moments that felt off but that can be explained with having to do the whole segment in one take, except when the "movie bubbles" would intervene for a cut but even that happened rarely. Not to keep ragging on the host segments but I also never got the feeling that Jonah was talking directly to the mads when they communicated, there was always a pause before the mads began that felt weird. Another part of the show that I felt was lacking were the celebrity cameos, most felt like they were just thrown in as a small bit and that was it. I enjoyed Mark Hamill though. But I mean, that's Mark Hamill. On a separate note, I never got the strong impression that Jonah didn't like being imprisoned on Moon 13. I think it would have been cool if instead of bypassing the first 2 months of Jonah's imprisonment they started there and maybe he attempted an escape or something it would make him more relatable.

THE UGLY

I only made this heading so that the reference to, "The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly" worked.

But hey that's my opinion! Anyone else who's first MST3k experience was this revival please tell me about it!


Recent Riffs

311 - It Conquered the World - about 5 years ago
15 laughs

2 replies Comment icon
Report

You know, there's nothing quite as pretty on a sunlit day as arterial spray on the white snow.


907 - Hobgoblins - almost 2 years ago
4 laughs

1 reply Comment icon
Report

You know, Mike, one thing I learned from this movie is that Daphne is a slut, and Amy wasn't fun until she became a slut.


518 - The Atomic Brain - 5 months ago
0 laughs

Report

"Open it!" No... I've got... the keys... down here...


518 - The Atomic Brain - 5 months ago
0 laughs

Report

I'm drunk too, meow.


2 laughs

1 reply Comment icon
Report

"Please don't go." Your hair won't clear the door.


419 - The Rebel Set - 7 months ago
0 laughs

Report

Johnny's hydroplane disintegrates on impact.


109 - Project Moonbase - 10 months ago
3 laughs

Report

Meanwhile, back at the Cody Institute for people who almost die every week...


0 laughs

Report

"Now I can brown-nose myself."


809 - I Was a Teenage Werewolf - about 1 year ago
1 laugh

Report

Isn't one Gene Fowler enough? Couldn't they have stopped?


423 - Bride of the Monster - about 1 year ago
1 laugh

Report

Who's the doughy man on our porch step?


423 - Bride of the Monster - about 1 year ago
1 laugh

Report

Could you turn down the music? I can't hear a thing you're saying.


1 laugh

Report

[unintelligible] Something about food for a fistful of rats...?