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William Johnson

Wall Posts

Favorite Episodes

  1. I Accuse My Parents
    368
  2. Zombie Nightmare
    279
  3. San Francisco International
    240
  4. Pod People
    514
  5. Catalina Caper
    246
  6. Escape 2000
    231
  7. The Starfighters
    213
  8. Warrior of the Lost World
    293
  9. Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell
    306
  10. Girls Town
    266
  11. The Brute Man
    191
  12. Master Ninja I
    233
  13. Time of the Apes
    248
  14. Swamp Diamonds
    142
  15. Teenage Strangler
    288
  16. Eegah
    356
  17. Daddy-O
    228
  18. Code Name Diamond Head
    168
  19. Tormented
    201
  20. The Violent Years
    149
  21. The Sword and the Dragon
    201
  22. Secret Agent Super Dragon
    193
  23. The Day the Earth Froze
    243
  24. Santa Claus
    265
  25. The Girl in Lovers Lane
    204
  26. Attack of the the Eye Creatures
    207
  27. The Sinister Urge
    197
  28. The Giant Gila Monster
    221
  29. Wild Rebels
    147
  30. Teenage Crime Wave
    161
  31. Assignment: Venezuela (the lost short)
    158

Recent Comments with recent replies

7 laughs

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I have a cat poster.


6 laughs

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There's one moment in this movie that actually strikes me as having some genuine emotion. When the potato woman gets killed, he says, "My life wasn't worth yours." and if there had been that much sincerity in the rest of the movie, it wouldn't have been half as bad.


610 - The Violent Years - about 4 years ago
2 laughs

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Okay, I know it is a badly written short by in 'Young Man's Fancy', how is it that Alex(ander Phips) has no time for girls? I mean, the subtext we all read into it is that Alex and 20's-Boy are gay lovers ... fine, it makes sense in an ironic, funny way ... but this was not brilliant satire: this was a straight-up face-value short on 'time study'.

I get that Alex is busy ... but was 20s-boy just saying that because he knew his sister would slobber all over him? And, in the end, he seems to have a loooot of time for girls ('double bag it son) so I never knew where that whole concept came from.


101 - The Crawling Eye - almost 4 years ago
2 laughs

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I'm starting from the beginning. I've watched MST3K since 1990 ... but I've never actually sat down and watched it from beginning to end. So, seeing that I was sick, I said 'what a time to start'. I'm going to view these as if looking at them for the first time.

The movie: Not a bad concept for '50s fare but the incredibly poor production value really drags it down.

The riffs: This one is pretty dull until the monsters show up ... and then Joel and the Bots are on fire, especially with the 'eye' puns.

Host Segments: Looking at it as if I didn't know what it will become, kind of dopey but endearing.

Overall: **1/2 out of ****


514 - Teenage Strangler - almost 5 years ago
7 laughs

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I don't think any of the couples they mentioned after the "Is this Love?" short are actually still together.


610 - The Violent Years - over 4 years ago
3 laughs

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This one doesn't seem to get the love on here it deserves! One of the best shorts they ever did and the movie is a classic (in the MST3K sense).


422 - The Day the Earth Froze - over 4 years ago
4 laughs

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Sorry to go a bit out there but besides MST3K one of my great loves in life is metal. The music, not the material.

Anyway, there is a Finnish metal band (I'd say the genre is slightly power, mostly melodic death) called Amorphis that has focused, in recent releases, on the Finish epic poem Kalevala, which I believe some or all of the Finnish fantasy movies MST3K did are based on as well (though I could be wrong).

Naturally, the opening song on their album entitled Skyforger is 'Sampo'. I'll post the link below.

If you like heavy music, Amorphis is great especially when they changed directions with their most recent lead singer and did the kind of grandiose storytelling you see in the films on MST3K.

Ensiferum is another good Finnish heavy metal band as well.


612 - The Starfighters - almost 4 years ago
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I asked my best friend's dad, a retired Lt. Colonel in the Air Force, about the Starfighters and he said they sucked.

I read up on them as well. One website (not sure which one so I can't give credit) said pilots nicknamed the starfighter planes the 'Widowmakers' because of crashes/deaths/etc.


507 - I Accuse My Parents - over 4 years ago
12 laughs

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"You'll have to go to church with me every Sunday"

"FOR -- GET IT"


1001 - Soultaker - almost 4 years ago
4 laughs

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We are going to rock (especially at 1:31)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O-sDf0CED_Q


Forum - over 3 years ago
0 laughs

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Does anybody else watch film critics for fun?


Recent Riffs

3 laughs

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So the main cause of accidents is joy, sex and old age?


8 laughs

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It was a good idea to film the walk-through.


101 - The Crawling Eye - almost 4 years ago
5 laughs

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That must be his overnight gun.


2 laughs

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Must ... finish ... Biography on ... Loretta ... Swit.


607 - Bloodlust - over 4 years ago
4 laughs

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Sis takes to the comfort of cream items.


607 - Bloodlust - over 4 years ago
7 laughs

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"Cows are a lot like people"

Servo: They're sinners.


507 - I Accuse My Parents - over 4 years ago
2 laughs

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We invited the cast of Gigi over!


7 laughs

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Swimming!


622 - Angels' Revenge - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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HOW ABOUT YOU SHINE MY STEAK OVER HERE!


612 - The Starfighters - over 4 years ago
3 laughs

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Uh ... excuse me *ahem* blow bebe blow


610 - The Violent Years - over 4 years ago
6 laughs

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Penthouse Forum: The Motion Picture


608 - Code Name Diamond Head - over 4 years ago
3 laughs

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Ew, he's got a Jackie Mason body