Man, the script for this movie must have been 5 pages long.

Not only do we have a football movie without a single frame of football game in it, we have to watch Donna Mills seduce David Jansen. I didn't ask to see that, didn't want to see that, and wish I hadn't seen that.

This is a good episode, but a tough one to watch.

AH, the eternal question: is this, _____, truly the worst movie ever made? There's truth to Tom Servo's famous observation, and it is true that I have not seen every movie ever made, nor have movies stopped being made.

But. I doubt I can state my feelings about this turgid, flaccid, murky, bitter, nasty little wad of ichorous phlegm better than "Slamdance Cosmopolis" lower in this discussion thread, so I refer you to that pithy gem of an assessment.

There's just nothing to grasp hold of. Hell, even Manos had Torgo and his haunting theme, and some striking photography. Well, striking to me. Even Cave Dwellers had the sheer ludicrosity of the plot shenanigans and the fabulous puppet monster. Even Red Zone Cuba had the wretched anti-aesthetic of Coleman Francis mesmerizing the audience with its aggressive stance against human decency. Even Monster-a-Go-Go had the abrupt finale to provide amusement around the water cooler the next morning.

Bad movies can be oh so good, but this movie is just--and thoroughly--bad. IN a way what makes it so bad for me is that it was made by professionals and was expected to deliver a ROI.

Worst movie ever? Difficult to determine, Captain. Least watchable movie I have ever tried to watch? You betcha!

Hey that Leper was Dick Miller from Gunslinger and It Conquered the World. (Also Little shop of Horrors, Gremlins 1&2, The Wasp Woman, and X: the Man with the X-ray Eyes.) That makes only two people I can think of who have hat-tricked the Mystery Science Theater.

This may be my favorite MST episode. It's certainly a blast. Who would have thought that someone would try to remake Monster-a-Go-Go?

With this slightly less awful remake as an inspiration, perhaps I should tackle my project to remake the three Coleman Francis movies we all know and love...flag on the moon...I'm Cherokee Jack...Panic!

During the GH short, Crow quips about the Gregory Peck wannabe: "He was old even back then."

Somebody's a GH fan! (I admit to watching a bit when Luke and Laura were all the rage, and Frisco Jones, and that spy agency, PEON or Scorpion, or whatever it was called. WHat any of it had to do with a hospital--general or otherwise--is beyond me.

Just to explain the obscure joke near the end. "Stop her, she's got my keyboard!" That's a reference to Mike. He had an ex-girlfriend who took his keyboard and never gave it back. How the people watching at home were supposed to get this is beyond me and I only know because of Google. So nice watching this show in 2014. It must have been frustrating to not get a reference and have no way to look it up instantly.

Before I get cranky, I want to point out that the closing bit is one of my fondest memories of MST, and the "connurping for moisture" line has stuck with me for decades now. I heart you, Joel.
I don't know. Some people (some people right here on this comment thread, for instance) claim this is a pretty good movie, but I find it pretty dumb. I'll admit the manipulations of the ghost and the haplessness of the "hero" make the plot a bit more engrossing than the usual monster maul, but it is all still very contrived. As the guys point out, what's so awful about a jazz musician with a love life?

Also, and this is perhaps my real problem: how did these three females (Vi, Meg and Sandy) fall for this particular jazz musician? He evinces nothing particularly admirable or lovable throughout the flick. Granted he's under pressure by the time we meet him, and perhaps not at his best. He is also not even remotely by any standards--even honky ones--the greatest jazz pianist on the island, let alone the world.

Anyhoo. I vote for bad movie.

So...why don't you people look? I mean, it's important. That poor railroad employee is worried about you. Come on!

So is "Orbit Jet" the name of Rocky's ship, or just the make/model? They keep referring to it as a singular: the Orbit Jet rather than a Orbit Jet, or Rocky's Orbit Jet. Yet as a name, Orbit Jet doesn't have the ring of say, The Achille Lauro, or the Mary Celeste.

Is Mike's opening monologue based on an old TV show opening VO? The words sound familiar, or perhaps I'm losing my grip.

This has to be the least sexy "sexy" movie ever. Possibly--possibly--my favorite MST riff ever: when the scientist removes her glasses and Tom plays the dirty trumpet.

I wanted to like this ep more than I liked it. The eps around it are solid, but this one just kind of lies there. The movie isn't as flashy and fun as the Godzilla movies that followed, and not nearly as risible and lazy as the Lipperts which preceded it. It's just kinda "meh." It has real pathos and bitter humor, but man is it dull. I think Crow said it best: "Well, that scene was a load of crap."

So, are you a "klack" person or "spacom" person? I'm...not feeling so well. I think I need to go to the little boys' room.