The thought of Michelle Pfeiffer spending the night with TV's Frank made me throw up a little in my mouth. But no more than the thought of her with Jack Nicholson in The Witches of Eastwick.

Beverly Garland sure loved kickin ass before she became everybody's TV grandma in shows like Scarecrow & Mrs. King and Remington Steele. She was even Superman's mom-in-law in Lois & Clark! If only he knew what she did in Gunslinger and Swamp Diamonds!

Just wondering... am I the only one here who, during the sacrifice liturgical dance scene, finds himself joining in when Joel and the Bots start singing, "pad, pad, pad the film..."

Ahhh, Gamera. The world's first teenage mutant ninja turtle.

Ah, the age of black face. How I love to see White people pretending to be my complexion with perfectly straight hair and European features. They couldn't just say the plane crashed in the Amazon rainforest where White people might at least be slightly believable as natives, could they? sigh.

What were those pool hustlers gonna do, punch them in the knee caps? Was there even one of them that was taller than a hobbit?

James Earl Jones must have had gambling debts. What the hell is he doing making a turkey like this?

Oh my God! That ending was as depressing as Rocketship X-M!!

Man it's been a while since I last posted. And I can't believe this turkey is my return to watching MST3K. All I can say is this movie was so ridiculous, I almost forgot to be offended. But then there was the bilingual séance. I was like, "Oh,right! Racist AND sexist. Now I remember." Seriously one of the most "accidentally" racist things to ever grace an older movie in my memory, and I've seen the pickaninny zebra in the uncut centaur scene of Fantasia.

Seriously, who DOES say 'wheee'???

You gotta love a father who's willing to marry you off to a murderer he just randomly found on a road one day to hide his old murder plot that got rid of his brother so your spoiled jackass of a brother could rule. And that's why in this movie, I rooted for the lion and the bottle of poison.

One thing that I actually appreciate about the Rocky Jones series is that they actually took time to make the characters more than just bad guys. In the first that we saw, Cleolanta is the villain and Ampersand is her henchman. Then, in Crash of the Moons, we suddenly see Ampersand as someone devoted to a cause but loving his wife. Even Cleolanta becomes less villainous. I'm actually a little impressed.