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Steve-Headed Pig-Benton - "A stranger comes into town, touches nobody's life, and leaves"
In Home-Sweet-Home Oceania, just in time for the "election"... HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Wall Posts

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My goodbye gift to the club....
***********************BUNNY GHOULIANI***********************


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Observant people say the writers of "The Simpsons" predicted the future; perceptive people know they scripted it.


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"Fun Fact: This is the first time since 1932 the GOP not only lost a running President, but both sides of Congress within that President's term."


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Some people are pretty Feucht up when it comes to willfully spreading COVID-19, and the self-righteous rationalizations they utilize only glorify themselves.


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If Rudy Giuliani proclaimed himself to be a Performance Artist, and that everything he has done over the last five years has been towards that end, would he be embraced by the artistic elite?


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You can't reason someone out of a position they didn't reason themselves into.
- Jonathan Swift


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My favorite "riff" from commenters about yesterday's disaster:
"The condom cabinet at Costco is more secure than the Capitol was yesterday."


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To those who didn't read the whole thread and missed my answers to Aileen:
Someone using Admin Paths has effed up two of my computers and continues to be a "ghost in the machine". I've called out a member (not counting sock accounts)of this forum who regularly slips white power rhetoric into his/her posts (I'm not talking about your typical RW or pro-Trump demagoguery), and while he or she never has directly answered me in any way -not even in the form of a denial- at least two of these attacks happened after I confronted him/her.
Also, you might want to check your address bar. As another Clubbie mentioned over a year ago, this is no longer a secure site.
Lastly, I had to be vague in my thread: I (and at least one other member of this forum)
am outspoken when people cross the line. That makes me unpopular with avowed "Anti-leftists". Not being a hacker or given access to admin paths, unlike others I have no idea of the actual identity of anyone. Even if I did, despite any issues I might have, I'm not the type of amazing colossal coward to hide behind a computer and negatively impact someone else's life, whether they deserve that sort of comeuppance or not. The thing is, if only I and a few others-hopefully more savvy than I as to the ways of computer security- are being targeted, why should I cause a chain reaction that would ruin things for those who don't feel like losing this place? I'm really not as big a dickweed as all that.


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"PWBM's work on this is a lot of guesswork. If you find their full write up & then click through the references on their methodology, they're applying a lot of multiplier coefficients that their own research shows can vary wildly. But they had to choose one for their analysis here, and whatever they chose is mostly just an educated guess, not based on any significant knowledge of how people actually spent the most recent stimulus money or anything else."


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**********IDIOCRACY: THE TRUE STORY**********


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Damn it, Marty.
You were one of three of seven left.
You went from being my childhood hero, to being your brother's tormentor, my stepfather's protege, and a real piece of maggoty meat. From there your poison started to eat you, and in your wisdom you knew just how to deal with it: you fought poison with poison. What a flippin' cliche. And rather predictably, unlike other musicians, no great insights followed; just the shambling babble of a small soul with a gold fish bowl perspective.
Every month you'd hock your '57 Les Paul, the one with the rare gold and brown Sunburst, for just enough money to feed your habit. That way you'd still be able to have enough money after cashing your SSDI check, to cover the rent after rescuing her from the pawn shop. Clever enough... until that inevitable day when you were in jail and had no one to get your lady home- they were all in stir with you. To cap off this act, you lost the Love of Your Life for $200.

Then that sweet loving woman that held the other end of that fraying umbilical cord you forever found a need to climb back up, that beautiful, beloved lady died. Now you truly were what you claimed to be all along: an orphan.
Now you were completely unmoored.
And the longer you swam against the raging current of your gutter, the more the hatred you once reserved for any number of people- the innumerable forces working to vex and oppress you- found itself a rather meaty companion: the hatred you had for yourself.
And that first genuine revelation you ever had took you down as hard and fast as a slit Achilles:
You saw yourself irredeemable.
And you began to spurn the love of people you wouldn't have thought of letting go unexploited in what passed for your "Glory Days". No one could prevent you from taking the path of the martyr that led to atonement.

But choosing to be homeless, consuming anything that kept you high from one minute to the next, that wasn't martyrdom, Marty. That was just fvcking pathos. Aimless, thoughtless pathos. Real redemption would have meant redressing your wrongs, and that was too close to work for you. Plus, it would involve contrition, and your ignorant pride would never allow you to embrace out loud the admission that you had been so wrong, so cruel, so many times, in so many ways, over so many years, to so many people. Even the nice touches of Greek tragedy- like constantly getting arrested for panhandling and assaulting authorities in front of the store your father worked for decades- as fascinating as it might be to a Freudian, were empty gestures.

As was your final Act.

You got high. You got into a fight. In sad shape, you were taken to a hospital.
But, of course, those screws couldn't hold you.
Against the advice of the medical professionals, accompanied by the damned, you walked out those doors and into the path of a truck.

And that was all there was to the end of the song of the man who was once my hero.
And, goddammit, all the lessons between then and now cannot change the fact that you were that illusory fancy of the boy-me.
And with that acknowledged, I say goodbye to you with that time honored phrase that kids' of any age have utilized for the eulogies of their fallen idols since time in memoriam:

Fvck you, asshole.


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"Maybe there's a God above,
But all I've ever learned from love
was how to shoot at someone
who outdrew you..."


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C'mon, John. Talk to me baby. Enough with the poky li'l code word innuendo silliness like "Amazing (typically "Good") genes" and "White Elephant". ("White Elephant Sale", sure, but since when did "The Elephant in the Room" get a color?)
Give me a sit down. You owe it to me for figuring it out (tho we both kinda knew that all along). I know you want to wait until Trump is declared the winner, but with that being a sad inevitability, pull up a toadstool.


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“To announce that there must be no criticism of the President, or that we are to stand by the President, right or wrong, is not only unpatriotic and servile, but is morally treasonable to the American public.”

― Theodore Roosevelt


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"For the time will come when people will not put up with sound doctrine. Instead, to suit their own desires, they will gather around them a great number of teachers to say what their itching ears want to hear."

- 2 Timothy 4:3


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"When Money speaks the Truth is silent."
- Russian proverb


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“Those Who Can Make You Believe Absurdities, Can Make You Commit Atrocities”
- Voltaire


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FROM MERRIAM-WEBSTER:

Definition of fascism
1 often capitalized: a political philosophy, movement, or regime (such as that of the Fascisti) that exalts nation and often race above the individual and that stands for a centralized autocratic government headed by a dictatorial leader, severe economic and social regimentation, and forcible suppression of opposition.


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“The party told you to reject the evidence of your eyes and ears. It was their final, most essential command.”


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"Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind."
- Albert Einstein


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"Many of us get to heaven by backing away from hell."


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Nice to see a fellow Tralfamadorian on here. Farewell, hello, farewell, hello.


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WHITE GUYS OF HISTORY COOLER THAN WHITE GUYS HAVE A RIGHT TO BE
TODAY: ERIC BURDON-
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3i0DMbCKnAg
"It's...all...yours!"


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Crazy Chester followed me, and he caught me in the fog
He said, "I will fix your rack, if you'll take Jack, my dog."
I said, "Wait a minute, Chester, you know I'm a peaceful man."
He said, "That's okay, boy, won't you feed him when you can."


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MONKEY IN MY HATBAND
_______________________________

Come on baby come on baby come on baby come on baby come on baby, that’s all I want
Come on baby let’s cruise the scene, be long gone from a Bowlin' Green

Monkeys in my hat band, I can do a handstand
Got funny money in my own blue jeans
Be long gone from a Bowlin' Green
Be long gone from a Bowlin' Green

Well I got a cherry Chevy and a tank full of gas and a chronic hypertension for a movin’ fast

Monkeys in my hat band, I can do a handstand
Got funny money in my own blue jeans
Be long gone from a Bowlin' Green
Be long gone from a Bowlin' Green

Well I know a friend with a big connection live it up with a wide selection
Come on baby YOU got protection (YOU GOT, YOU GOT)? Anything you want
Come on baby let’s cruise the scene, be long gone from a bowlin' green

Monkeys in my hat band, I can do a handstand
Got funny money in my own blue jeans
To be long gone from a Bowlin' Green
To be long gone from a Bowlin' Green


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"The beatings will continue until morale improves"
- Anon


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MESSAGE COMING IN
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwic0Zjqv-vpAhV0NX0KHeXtANoQtwIwBnoECAYQAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.msn.com%2Fen-us%2Fvideo%2Fpeopleandplaces%2Flightning-bolt-strikes-the-washington-monument%2Fvp-BB155b5r&usg=AOvVaw0JsFbSF2HlA3aWEXvIlfNu
Call it God. Call it a very pissed off Mother Nature. Call it karma. The Cosmic Forces of the Universe. A combination of all of them...Clearly someone isn't pleased with the current state of affairs in The Nation's Capitol.


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"If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other."
-- Ulysses S. Grant (MORE)

Damn! That was more prescient than Sinclair Lewis's famous (and often erroneously phrased):
"I just wish people wouldn’t quote Lincoln or the Bible, or hang out the flag or the cross, to cover up something that belongs more to the bank-book and the three golden balls."


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“I felt like anything rather than rejoicing at the downfall of a foe who had fought so long and valiantly, and had suffered so much for a cause, though that cause was, I believe, one of the worst for which a people ever fought, and one for which there was the least excuse,”
-- Ulysses S. Grant


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"Respectable little murders pay
They get more respectable every day"

- Don Henley


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“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'”
—Isaac Asimov


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THE WHIZZO SONG

Who's always smiling, never sad? It's Whizzo!
Who makes the boys and girls so glad, Whizzo!

He's a merry fellow with a big red shiny nose,
Dressed in crazy mixed-up clothes
From his head down to his toes.

He has a great big trunk of tricks, has Whizzo.
He'll sing a song or do a dance for you.

And when you're sad, he'll make you glad.
The very best friend you ever had.

Whizzo the clown, that's who!!!


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I feel my mortal purchase slipping away again.
The siren call of the weeping void mournfully intones that familiar cascade of quavery notes, under which my resolve is slammed, battered into a coral reef of memories and specters.
What designer decided the manifestations of my ghosts? I can't possibly be the artist, the conjuror of these vexsome wraiths whose faces and manners are centuries older than I. And always, their persistent beckoning wears me down. And so I follow, no longer in curiosity, but accustomation, habituation, familiarity, that most conservative and lethal form of ennui.


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Yep. If you're like me, I bet when you think "Giants of Rock and Roll", the first name that pops into your head is Whitney Houston.
Just because you partied like a rock star and died like a rock star doesn't mean you WERE a rock star. If that's all the criteria one needs to meet in order to join the rolls of The Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame, I have a lot of dead friends I need to nominate.


Jet Jaguar Abides - about 1 year ago
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Hey Steve, thanks for the kind words. I'm slowly getting back towards the light. Hope your Holidays are pleasant. ~JAGS~


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"Calling this lying sack of shit a lying sack of shit is one of the things that got me fired from @SIRIUSXM, because I forgot that the job of Corporate Media is to give a platform to lying sacks of shit and help lying sacks of shit sell their shitty books."
- Frank Conniff on Chris Christie after the latter appeared on some shill program and actually, really, genuinely and truly said:
"I don’t know ‘the real story’ behind Bridgegate, Christie says, adding that we’ll probably never know"


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Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking I had something to protect
Good and bad, I define these terms quite clear, no doubt, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then I'm younger than that now

---Robert Zimmerman


Behold the Power of Movie Cheese! - about 2 years ago
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Steve, I hope you've had a chance to see my reply to the nice note you left on my wall awhile ago. I'm back from the Brain 'n' Body Shop again, and have hopes you will be visiting us all once more in Forumvilla (you are missed, monsieur - please do not ask us all to beg. Heck, I am already down on my one good knee). Best of ye olde (and ye newe) holiday wishes! : )


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Caramel apples are a part of my life. This dates back to my childhood, where a night of trick-or-treating was not complete without stopping at my grandmother's house for the chewy orb-like confections. The melding of caramel and apple seemed to me in those days a confection ordained by the creator.
Hyperbole, you say?
No.
Fanaticism?
Sure.
And it is not just the association with those days, the powerful nostalgia that comes from tasting and smelling something and associating it with familiar and comforting memories, even though I know that scientifically speaking, smell is the most provocative memory enhancers of all the senses. I simply adore that combination of flavors. And even though, like Colonel Glenn Manning, I have a whole head full of goofy dental work, I still have to have to find time to savor one sometime during harvest time, the closer to Hallowe'en the better.

Now, CANDY apples- don't get me started. Candy apples are for FREAKS!


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Hi folks. I have been absent due to a personal tragedy that I caused.
My precious, adored Border Collie...I made mistakes that cost him his life. The unfathomable depths of my despair have been dark. Making it even harder to deal with was how I integrated his name and personality - a real character, a born clown, and since he was a BC, smart as a whip- into the MST3k theme song.
His name was Marcus. The "new" theme song went as follows:
In the not too distant future,
Sa-tur-day-dee
There lives a dog named Mar Mar,
An adorable Border Collie,
He worked at the sheep dog trial show,
A handsome gent in his tuxedo,
He did a good job puttin' sheeps in their place,
Til the day they wouldn't mind him so he shot'em in their face

"We're very disappointed", the trial judges said,
"We need sheep brought to market, not shot in the head.
So keep in mind we won't abide a willful collie like that"
So he said "Well, then, screw you guys, I'll go play with my cat!"
(Collie roll call)
Marcus! Marcus! Marcus! Marrrrrrrrrrrr-cus!
If you're woundering just what the hell this whole song is about,
Repeat to yourself "He's a collie dog" and whip your Frisbee out...
For Border Collie Theater, 3000.

____________________________________________________

A lot of heavy stuff had come down before then, and I was already struggling. Causing Marcus's death...I just lost the will to live.


Jet Jaguar Abides - over 4 years ago
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Hey Steve, is everything alright or have things gotten better?!? Doc said he talked to you recently but just wanted to hear straight from the horse's mouth...


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Something has happened. I may not make it back from this. I hope those of you I've loved know who you are because I don't want to list all of you and forget someone.
I may make one more post. But I may not. Love and peace and more strength than I have to you all.


Jet Jaguar Abides - over 4 years ago
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Hey Steve, wanted to let you know Phantom Chicken is now Jaguar Wong...Same weird f*cker just a different name ;)


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They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,
Love and desire and hate;
I think they have no portion in us after
We pass the gate.

They are not long, the days of wine and roses,
Out of a misty dream
Our path emerges for a while, then closes
Within a dream.


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My guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect

Good and bad, I define these terms

Quite clear, no doubt, somehow

Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now


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What was my nickname that involved the word "salesman"? I don't even remember that.


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Hey. STEVE-A-RINO. ::end Woody Harrelson to Randy Quaid in 'Kingpin' voice where they're pretending to be dictionary salesmen to hustle people and Randy Quaid's character forgets his name is supposed to be 'Steve':: How's everything?


Favorite Episodes

  1. Godzilla vs. Megalon
    332
  2. Cave Dwellers
    457
  3. Monster A-Go Go
    359
  4. Pod People
    588
  5. Catalina Caper
    281
  6. Teenage Strangler
    327
  7. Fugitive Alien
    342
  8. Rocket Attack USA
    160
  9. Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
    207
  10. Lost Continent
    261
  11. War of the Colossal Beast
    241
  12. The Beatniks
    192
  13. The Amazing Colossal Man
    216
  14. Rocketship X-M
    297
  15. The Indestructible Man
    162
  16. Master Ninja I
    268
  17. Ring of Terror
    200
  18. Master Ninja II
    164
  19. Star Force: Fugitive Alien II
    261
  20. Daddy-O
    257
  21. Manos: The Hands of Fate
    711
  22. Gamera vs. Guiron
    265
  23. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
    308
  24. Warrior of the Lost World
    349
  25. Attack of the the Eye Creatures
    242
  26. Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell
    352
  27. Bride of the Monster
    246
  28. Gamera
    261
  29. Teenagers from Outer Space
    297
  30. Earth vs. the Spider
    213
  31. Attack of the Giant Leeches
    224
  32. The Giant Gila Monster
    269
  33. Crash of the Moons
    178
  34. The Creeping Terror
    266
  35. Mitchell
    607
  36. Eegah
    409
  37. The Day the Earth Froze
    292
  38. The Crawling Eye
    277
  39. The Sinister Urge
    223
  40. Outlaw of Gor
    331
  41. Samson Vs The Vampire Women
    291
  42. The Brain that Wouldn't Die
    359
  43. The Skydivers
    277
  44. Escape 2000
    276
  45. The Sword and the Dragon
    237
  46. The Viking Women and the Sea Serpent
    231
  47. Alien from L.A.
    285
  48. Gamera vs. Zigra
    180
  49. Zombie Nightmare
    320
  50. The Wild World of Batwoman
    238
  51. Hercules
    160
  52. Santa Claus
    309
  53. Night of the Blood Beast
    333
  54. King Dinosaur
    207
  55. Laserblast
    418
  56. The Killer Shrews
    264
  57. Hercules Unchained
    193
  58. The Beast of Yucca Flats
    266
  59. Radar Secret Service
    233
  60. Jungle Goddess
    197
  61. Robot Monster
    159
  62. Gamera vs. Barugon
    178
  63. The Magic Sword
    212
  64. Manhunt in Space
    173
  65. Beginning of the End
    282
  66. The Dead Talk Back
    288
  67. Teenage Crime Wave
    191
  68. Gamera vs. Gaos
    155
  69. Wild Rebels
    175
  70. Angels' Revenge
    216
  71. The Hellcats
    121
  72. Girls Town
    304
  73. Tormented
    227
  74. Hercules and the Captive Women
    163
  75. The Violent Years
    176
  76. Hercules Against the Moon Men
    233
  77. The Crawling Hand
    170
  78. Robot Holocaust
    168
  79. Teenage Caveman
    156
  80. Mighty Jack
    179
  81. The Unearthly
    209
  82. Fire Maidens of Outer Space
    235
  83. Last of the Wild Horses
    169
  84. The Rebel Set
    166
  85. City Limits
    180

Recent Comments with recent replies

Forum - 3 months ago
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If you could transport yourself to any movie from the club, which would it be? To truly be a person in that movie. To either help people in movie, which would be real to you and them, or to try and help out with whatever is going on. Or, if you just chose to be a person in that movie.


My Favorite Gypsy Moment
Forum - about 1 month ago
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I think my favorite moment of Gypsy has to be the "I don't get you" sketch. Something about it just screams Gypsy. That's probably some of Jim Mallon's best work as Gypsy with the puppet and the character, itself. It's probably one of my favorite host segments of all time, as well. And of course, the "nobody gets me, I'm the wind, baby!" is a perfect response from Tom Servo.


Movie Songs - Your Picks?
Forum - 4 months ago
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We recently had a thread about songs sung by the MST cast. This one is about songs from the movies used as experiments. Many movies include songs sung by the movie's cast members (e.g.: Are You Happy In Your Work), some include a band playing a song (e.g.: California Lady), and some have songs sung during the credits (e.g.: Night Train to Mundo Fine). Songs from any of these categories are valid entries for this thread.

1. Which song do you find the most annoying?
2. Which song do you find the funniest?
3. Which song do you enjoy the most as a song?


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My goodbye gift to the club....
***********************BUNNY GHOULIANI***********************


Forum - 14 days ago
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How many riffed movies include a blind woman who plays piano? There's The Brute Man and Red Zone Cuba. Samson vs the Vampire Women at first seems like it does, but it turns out she's just staring off into space because she's entranced. I know there's at least one more...


RIP Chick Corea
Forum - 14 days ago
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Just heard of the passing of one of Jazz's greatest keyboardists. He played on two of my most favorite recordings of all time - Miles Davis' Bitches Brew and In Silent Way. See them here in one of the most astounding live performances I've ever seen, Live at Isle of Wight 1970:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hMYVvjoXf4o


Favorite subtle riffs?
Forum - 19 days ago
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I watched Samson Vs. The Vampire Women last night, and there was a little riff that made me happy. At 1:20, as Samson/El Santo drives off, Tom makes a little puttering cough. It's the distinctive sound made by Hanna Barbera's Speed Buggy. It's really subtle, and you might even think Kevin was just coughing on that take. But I've noticed him doing it precisely once in every episode in season 6 (and I think maybe 5?) when our hero is shown driving.

There are also some fun silhouette interactions over the years where you have to be watching the right bot at the right moment or you'll miss it entirely. (Servo ducking and tilting at the half hour mark of The Unearthly comes to mind. I have mixed feelings about that one, as he's doing it to pretend to get a peek up a woman's skirt when she stands up right in front of the camera.)

What are your favorite blink-and-you-miss-it riffs?


Non-sequiturs
Forum - 12 months ago
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Anyone have favorite riffs that make no sense? For instance, in Daddy-O: "Do you like the names of lots of fish?"


Recent Riffs

107 - Robot Monster - over 4 years ago
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"Man, somebody's gotta take that kid outta the rain".


K09 - Phase IV - over 5 years ago
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TOM SERVO: "You know...This ant problem seems kinda' minor in the midst of the flying turtle problems the people of Japan experienced. I think we're being insensitive."


K06 - Gamera vs. Gaos - over 5 years ago
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"If we could arrange in some way for it to be distracted we could attack it with safety..."
...we can tap it on one shoulder and appear over the other.