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Steve-Headed Pig-Benton
In Oceania

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Hi folks. I have been absent due to a personal tragedy that I caused.
My precious, adored Border Collie...I made mistakes that cost him his life. The unfathomable depths of my despair have been dark. Making it even harder to deal with was how I integrated his name and personality - a real character, a born clown, and since he was a BC, smart as a whip- into the MST3k theme song.
His name was Marcus. The "new" theme song went as follows:
In the not too distant future,
Sa-tur-day-dee
There lives a dog named Mar Mar,
An adorable Border Collie,
He worked at the sheep dog trial show,
A handsome gent in his tuxedo,
He did a good job puttin' sheeps in their place,
Til the day they wouldn't mind him so he shot'em in their face

"We're very disappointed", the trial judges said,
"We need sheep brought to market, not shot in the head.
So keep in mind we won't abide a willful collie like that"
So he said "Well, then, screw you guys, I'll go play with my cat!"
(Collie roll call)
Marcus! Marcus! Marcus! Marrrrrrrrrrrr-cus!
If you're woundering just what the hell this whole song is about,
Repeat to yourself "He's a collie dog" and whip your Frisbee out...
For Border Collie Theater, 3000.

____________________________________________________

A lot of heavy stuff had come down before then, and I was already struggling. Causing Marcus's death...I just lost the will to live.


Jaguar Wong Abides - over 1 year ago
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Hey Steve, is everything alright or have things gotten better?!? Doc said he talked to you recently but just wanted to hear straight from the horse's mouth...


Steve-Headed Pig-Benton - almost 2 years ago
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Something has happened. I may not make it back from this. I hope those of you I've loved know who you are because I don't want to list all of you and forget someone.
I may make one more post. But I may not. Love and peace and more strength than I have to you all.


Jaguar Wong Abides - almost 2 years ago
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Hey Steve, wanted to let you know Phantom Chicken is now Jaguar Wong...Same weird f*cker just a different name ;)


Steve-Headed Pig-Benton - almost 2 years ago
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They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,
Love and desire and hate;
I think they have no portion in us after
We pass the gate.

They are not long, the days of wine and roses,
Out of a misty dream
Our path emerges for a while, then closes
Within a dream.


Steve-Headed Pig-Benton - about 2 years ago
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My guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect

Good and bad, I define these terms

Quite clear, no doubt, somehow

Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now


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What was my nickname that involved the word "salesman"? I don't even remember that.


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Hey. STEVE-A-RINO. ::end Woody Harrelson to Randy Quaid in 'Kingpin' voice where they're pretending to be dictionary salesmen to hustle people and Randy Quaid's character forgets his name is supposed to be 'Steve':: How's everything?


Steve-Headed Pig-Benton - over 2 years ago
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" How am I supposed to fix this guy? He's fucked!"

Hey everybody (whoever you might be).
Something has gone brilliantly wrong with this clunker. Dealing with more pain than I have in the over 25 years since my first knee replacements.


Steve-Headed Pig-Benton - over 2 years ago
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Happy Halloween, everybody.
I'll see you later.


Favorite Episodes

  1. Godzilla vs. Megalon
    280
  2. Cave Dwellers
    398
  3. Monster A-Go Go
    319
  4. Manos: The Hands of Fate
    634
  5. Pod People
    519
  6. Catalina Caper
    248
  7. Fugitive Alien
    305
  8. Lost Continent
    229
  9. War of the Colossal Beast
    207
  10. Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
    180
  11. The Beatniks
    171
  12. Rocketship X-M
    266
  13. Ring of Terror
    178
  14. The Indestructible Man
    144
  15. Master Ninja I
    237
  16. Daddy-O
    230
  17. The Amazing Colossal Man
    190
  18. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
    278
  19. Night of the Blood Beast
    290
  20. Gamera vs. Guiron
    231
  21. Attack of the the Eye Creatures
    209
  22. Warrior of the Lost World
    298
  23. Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell
    313
  24. Gamera
    223
  25. Teenagers from Outer Space
    259
  26. Earth vs. the Spider
    183
  27. Attack of the Giant Leeches
    196
  28. Crash of the Moons
    155
  29. The Creeping Terror
    234
  30. Teenage Strangler
    293
  31. The Giant Gila Monster
    225
  32. The Sword and the Dragon
    205
  33. Star Force: Fugitive Alien II
    235
  34. Master Ninja II
    149
  35. Mitchell
    536
  36. Eegah
    361
  37. The Day the Earth Froze
    248
  38. Bride of the Monster
    214
  39. The Skydivers
    248
  40. Outlaw of Gor
    290
  41. Alien from L.A.
    256
  42. Gamera vs. Zigra
    159
  43. The Wild World of Batwoman
    213
  44. Hercules
    144
  45. The Crawling Eye
    242
  46. Jungle Goddess
    169
  47. Santa Claus
    269
  48. Samson Vs The Vampire Women
    261
  49. The Sinister Urge
    201
  50. King Dinosaur
    188
  51. Escape 2000
    237
  52. Laserblast
    360
  53. The Viking Women and the Sea Serpent
    211
  54. The Killer Shrews
    232
  55. Hercules Unchained
    168
  56. The Beast of Yucca Flats
    240
  57. Radar Secret Service
    205
  58. Robot Monster
    142
  59. Gamera vs. Barugon
    162
  60. The Magic Sword
    190
  61. The Brain that Wouldn't Die
    313
  62. Manhunt in Space
    153
  63. Beginning of the End
    245
  64. The Dead Talk Back
    262
  65. Last of the Wild Horses
    147
  66. Teenage Crime Wave
    169
  67. Gamera vs. Gaos
    138
  68. Wild Rebels
    151
  69. Angels' Revenge
    193
  70. The Hellcats
    102
  71. Rocket Attack USA
    141
  72. Girls Town
    269
  73. Tormented
    206
  74. Hercules and the Captive Women
    144
  75. The Violent Years
    156
  76. Hercules Against the Moon Men
    195
  77. Zombie Nightmare
    282
  78. The Crawling Hand
    146
  79. Robot Holocaust
    141
  80. Teenage Caveman
    140
  81. Mighty Jack
    160
  82. The Unearthly
    180
  83. Fire Maidens of Outer Space
    207
  84. The Rebel Set
    147
  85. City Limits
    158

Recent Comments with recent replies

Angelika Jager/Jaeger
110 - Robot Holocaust - about 4 years ago
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Hey- Could this possibly be Valaria?
http://www.angelikajaeger.com/#!who

If it is she's keeping her "Robot Holocaust" light under a bushel as it's not mentioned in her brief bio. But it looks like it could be her.
Something really atypically sexy about Angelika Jager in this film. Couldn't act a lick. But sexy.


504 - Secret Agent Super Dragon - almost 4 years ago
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Does anyone get the "H-h-hello?" joke they make about the telephone. They make that joke in several shows and David Letterman uses that voice all of the time, but, I've never figured out what it's a reference to.


Question #2
Forum - 9 months ago
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To follow up Autopilot, what do you consider the most shocking riff? It could be anything -- something risque that slipped by the network, or perhaps humor that was fine in 1990 but offends 21st Century sensibilities. I think my choice would be (can't remember the episode -- maybe I Accuse My Parents) where a guy walks into the scene with a woman and Servo says "I brought the vag." It's close between that and "the three spooges" from Slime People.


Recent Riffs

107 - Robot Monster - almost 2 years ago
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"Man, somebody's gotta take that kid outta the rain".


K09 - Phase IV - over 2 years ago
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TOM SERVO: "You know...This ant problem seems kinda' minor in the midst of the flying turtle problems the people of Japan experienced. I think we're being insensitive."


K06 - Gamera vs. Gaos - over 2 years ago
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"If we could arrange in some way for it to be distracted we could attack it with safety..."
...we can tap it on one shoulder and appear over the other.