Bg
Steve-Headed Pig-Benton - Comforting Women With A Gun Since 1959
In Oceania

Wall Posts

0 laughs

Report

I feel my mortal purchase slipping away again.
The siren call of the weeping void mournfully intones that familiar cascade of quavery notes, under which my resolve is slammed, battered into a coral reef of memories and specters.
What designer decided the manifestations of my ghosts? I can't possibly be the artist, the conjuror of these vexsome wraiths whose faces and manners are centuries older than I. And always, their persistent beckoning wears me down. And so I follow, no longer in curiosity, but accustomation, habituation, familiarity, that most conservative and lethal form of ennui.


0 laughs

Report

Yep. If you're like me, I bet when you think "Giants of Rock and Roll", the first name that pops into your head is Whitney Houston.
Just because you partied like a rock star and died like a rock star doesn't mean you WERE a rock star. If that's all the criteria one needs to meet in order to join the rolls of The Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame, I have a lot of dead friends I need to nominate.


Jet Jaguar Abides - 27 days ago
1 laugh

Report

Hey Steve, thanks for the kind words. I'm slowly getting back towards the light. Hope your Holidays are pleasant. ~JAGS~


1 laugh

Report

"Calling this lying sack of shit a lying sack of shit is one of the things that got me fired from @SIRIUSXM, because I forgot that the job of Corporate Media is to give a platform to lying sacks of shit and help lying sacks of shit sell their shitty books."
- Frank Conniff on Chris Christie after the latter appeared on some shill program and actually, really, genuinely and truly said:
"I don’t know ‘the real story’ behind Bridgegate, Christie says, adding that we’ll probably never know"


1 laugh

Report

Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking I had something to protect
Good and bad, I define these terms quite clear, no doubt, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then I'm younger than that now

---Robert Zimmerman


1 laugh

1 reply Comment icon
Report

Steve, I hope you've had a chance to see my reply to the nice note you left on my wall awhile ago. I'm back from the Brain 'n' Body Shop again, and have hopes you will be visiting us all once more in Forumvilla (you are missed, monsieur - please do not ask us all to beg. Heck, I am already down on my one good knee). Best of ye olde (and ye newe) holiday wishes! : )


1 laugh

Report

Caramel apples are a part of my life. This dates back to my childhood, where a night of trick-or-treating was not complete without stopping at my grandmother's house for the chewy orb-like confections. The melding of caramel and apple seemed to me in those days a confection ordained by the creator.
Hyperbole, you say?
No.
Fanaticism?
Sure.
And it is not just the association with those days, the powerful nostalgia that comes from tasting and smelling something and associating it with familiar and comforting memories, even though I know that scientifically speaking, smell is the most provocative memory enhancers of all the senses. I simply adore that combination of flavors. And even though, like Colonel Glenn Manning, I have a whole head full of goofy dental work, I still have to have to find time to savor one sometime during harvest time, the closer to Hallowe'en the better.

Now, CANDY apples- don't get me started. Candy apples are for FREAKS!


0 laughs

3 replies Comment icon
Report

Hi folks. I have been absent due to a personal tragedy that I caused.
My precious, adored Border Collie...I made mistakes that cost him his life. The unfathomable depths of my despair have been dark. Making it even harder to deal with was how I integrated his name and personality - a real character, a born clown, and since he was a BC, smart as a whip- into the MST3k theme song.
His name was Marcus. The "new" theme song went as follows:
In the not too distant future,
Sa-tur-day-dee
There lives a dog named Mar Mar,
An adorable Border Collie,
He worked at the sheep dog trial show,
A handsome gent in his tuxedo,
He did a good job puttin' sheeps in their place,
Til the day they wouldn't mind him so he shot'em in their face

"We're very disappointed", the trial judges said,
"We need sheep brought to market, not shot in the head.
So keep in mind we won't abide a willful collie like that"
So he said "Well, then, screw you guys, I'll go play with my cat!"
(Collie roll call)
Marcus! Marcus! Marcus! Marrrrrrrrrrrr-cus!
If you're woundering just what the hell this whole song is about,
Repeat to yourself "He's a collie dog" and whip your Frisbee out...
For Border Collie Theater, 3000.

____________________________________________________

A lot of heavy stuff had come down before then, and I was already struggling. Causing Marcus's death...I just lost the will to live.


Jet Jaguar Abides - about 3 years ago
1 laugh

Report

Hey Steve, is everything alright or have things gotten better?!? Doc said he talked to you recently but just wanted to hear straight from the horse's mouth...


0 laughs

3 replies Comment icon
Report

Something has happened. I may not make it back from this. I hope those of you I've loved know who you are because I don't want to list all of you and forget someone.
I may make one more post. But I may not. Love and peace and more strength than I have to you all.


Jet Jaguar Abides - over 3 years ago
0 laughs

Report

Hey Steve, wanted to let you know Phantom Chicken is now Jaguar Wong...Same weird f*cker just a different name ;)


3 laughs

Report

They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,
Love and desire and hate;
I think they have no portion in us after
We pass the gate.

They are not long, the days of wine and roses,
Out of a misty dream
Our path emerges for a while, then closes
Within a dream.


2 laughs

Report

My guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect

Good and bad, I define these terms

Quite clear, no doubt, somehow

Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now


0 laughs

1 reply Comment icon
Report

What was my nickname that involved the word "salesman"? I don't even remember that.


0 laughs

Report

Hey. STEVE-A-RINO. ::end Woody Harrelson to Randy Quaid in 'Kingpin' voice where they're pretending to be dictionary salesmen to hustle people and Randy Quaid's character forgets his name is supposed to be 'Steve':: How's everything?


0 laughs

2 replies Comment icon
Report

" How am I supposed to fix this guy? He's fucked!"

Hey everybody (whoever you might be).
Something has gone brilliantly wrong with this clunker. Dealing with more pain than I have in the over 25 years since my first knee replacements.


Favorite Episodes

  1. Godzilla vs. Megalon
    314
  2. Cave Dwellers
    437
  3. Monster A-Go Go
    344
  4. Pod People
    568
  5. Catalina Caper
    269
  6. Teenage Strangler
    317
  7. Fugitive Alien
    328
  8. War of the Colossal Beast
    229
  9. Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
    201
  10. Lost Continent
    248
  11. The Beatniks
    187
  12. Rocketship X-M
    283
  13. The Indestructible Man
    159
  14. Master Ninja I
    255
  15. Daddy-O
    251
  16. The Amazing Colossal Man
    213
  17. Manos: The Hands of Fate
    682
  18. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
    299
  19. Gamera vs. Guiron
    251
  20. Warrior of the Lost World
    332
  21. Attack of the the Eye Creatures
    228
  22. Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell
    335
  23. Bride of the Monster
    237
  24. Ring of Terror
    192
  25. Gamera
    247
  26. Teenagers from Outer Space
    285
  27. Earth vs. the Spider
    202
  28. Attack of the Giant Leeches
    218
  29. The Giant Gila Monster
    258
  30. Crash of the Moons
    172
  31. The Creeping Terror
    248
  32. Star Force: Fugitive Alien II
    253
  33. Master Ninja II
    160
  34. Mitchell
    577
  35. Eegah
    389
  36. The Day the Earth Froze
    277
  37. The Crawling Eye
    263
  38. The Sinister Urge
    217
  39. Outlaw of Gor
    318
  40. Samson Vs The Vampire Women
    278
  41. The Brain that Wouldn't Die
    341
  42. The Skydivers
    273
  43. Escape 2000
    257
  44. The Sword and the Dragon
    222
  45. The Viking Women and the Sea Serpent
    225
  46. Alien from L.A.
    276
  47. Gamera vs. Zigra
    173
  48. Rocket Attack USA
    154
  49. Zombie Nightmare
    306
  50. The Wild World of Batwoman
    231
  51. Hercules
    153
  52. Santa Claus
    295
  53. Night of the Blood Beast
    320
  54. King Dinosaur
    202
  55. Laserblast
    399
  56. The Killer Shrews
    257
  57. Hercules Unchained
    184
  58. The Beast of Yucca Flats
    257
  59. Radar Secret Service
    224
  60. Jungle Goddess
    190
  61. Robot Monster
    155
  62. Gamera vs. Barugon
    175
  63. The Magic Sword
    207
  64. Manhunt in Space
    168
  65. Beginning of the End
    269
  66. The Dead Talk Back
    279
  67. Teenage Crime Wave
    186
  68. Gamera vs. Gaos
    151
  69. Wild Rebels
    167
  70. Angels' Revenge
    208
  71. The Hellcats
    114
  72. Girls Town
    288
  73. Tormented
    223
  74. Hercules and the Captive Women
    159
  75. The Violent Years
    170
  76. Hercules Against the Moon Men
    220
  77. The Crawling Hand
    162
  78. Robot Holocaust
    158
  79. Teenage Caveman
    156
  80. Mighty Jack
    173
  81. The Unearthly
    203
  82. Fire Maidens of Outer Space
    224
  83. Last of the Wild Horses
    163
  84. The Rebel Set
    161
  85. City Limits
    172

Recent Comments with recent replies

(Re) Name that Experiment!?
Forum - 17 days ago
4 laughs

32 replies Comment icon
Report

For a while now, I've wondered if it was just a typo, and they really meant to call "Night of the Blood Beast" by this handle: "Night of the Brood Beast."

Can you think of other experiments where, by adding or subtracting a letter or two (or even three), you get another whole new name? (If the new title fits the movie better, that makes it an even better "find.")

The only ones that come to mind right off, without much thought, are these:

*Danger! Dearth Ray (owing to the scarcity of widespread death-raying).
*The Girl in Movers Lane (she certainly changed her zip code)
*The Wild World of Batswoman (asylum hopping is her forte)
*The Touch of Satin (so many smooth operators here)
*Devil Droll (such dry, wry, sawdusty wit here)
*Crash of the Goons (IQs on Parade we really ain't)
*The Slim People (they can exist on very thin dialogue)
*The Spaced Children (Hanging out with Fester and a drunk Professor?)

Bloodrust, The violent Tears, The Brut Man, The Thing That Couldn't Dig....

OK, gotta quit now. Things are getting all woozy. Your turn! : )


Forum - 3 days ago
1 laugh

14 replies Comment icon
Report

Time for the hardest one yet for me, so let's give it a shot. What are your 3 favorite episodes of Season 5?


A LIYW NCNL COMPANION
Forum - 5 days ago
0 laughs

15 replies Comment icon
Report

Normally I'd sit on this and give Master Des's institution an opportunity to breathe without intrusion, but this fella has been burning up the meme circuit.
So let's catch this zeitgeist by the tail, hmmm?


Movie Sign!
Forum - 7 days ago
2 laughs

10 replies Comment icon
Report

While watching the other day, I became curious for no particular reason as to how Mike/Joel and the Bots know when it's time to leave the theater in between segments? We all know what gets them in there...


Recent Riffs

107 - Robot Monster - over 3 years ago
2 laughs

Report

"Man, somebody's gotta take that kid outta the rain".


K09 - Phase IV - about 4 years ago
1 laugh

Report

TOM SERVO: "You know...This ant problem seems kinda' minor in the midst of the flying turtle problems the people of Japan experienced. I think we're being insensitive."


K06 - Gamera vs. Gaos - over 4 years ago
1 laugh

Report

"If we could arrange in some way for it to be distracted we could attack it with safety..."
...we can tap it on one shoulder and appear over the other.