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Steve-Headed Pig-Benton... "So it goes."
In Tralfamadore

Wall Posts

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MONKEY IN MY HATBAND
_______________________________

Come on baby come on baby come on baby come on baby come on baby, that’s all I want
Come on baby let’s cruise the scene, be long gone from a Bowlin' Green

Monkeys in my hat band, I can do a handstand
Got funny money in my own blue jeans
Be long gone from a Bowlin' Green
Be long gone from a Bowlin' Green

Well I got a cherry Chevy and a tank full of gas and a chronic hypertension for a movin’ fast

Monkeys in my hat band, I can do a handstand
Got funny money in my own blue jeans
Be long gone from a Bowlin' Green
Be long gone from a Bowlin' Green

Well I know a friend with a big connection live it up with a wide selection
Come on baby YOU got protection (YOU GOT, YOU GOT)? Anything you want
Come on baby let’s cruise the scene, be long gone from a bowlin' green

Monkeys in my hat band, I can do a handstand
Got funny money in my own blue jeans
To be long gone from a Bowlin' Green
To be long gone from a Bowlin' Green


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"The beatings will continue until morale improves"
- Anon


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MESSAGE COMING IN
https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=&cad=rja&uact=8&ved=2ahUKEwic0Zjqv-vpAhV0NX0KHeXtANoQtwIwBnoECAYQAQ&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.msn.com%2Fen-us%2Fvideo%2Fpeopleandplaces%2Flightning-bolt-strikes-the-washington-monument%2Fvp-BB155b5r&usg=AOvVaw0JsFbSF2HlA3aWEXvIlfNu
Call it God. Call it a very pissed off Mother Nature. Call it karma. The Cosmic Forces of the Universe. A combination of all of them...Clearly someone isn't pleased with the current state of affairs in The Nation's Capitol.


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"If we are to have another contest in the near future of our national existence, I predict that the dividing line will not be Mason and Dixon's but between patriotism and intelligence on the one side, and superstition, ambition and ignorance on the other."
-- Ulysses S. Grant (MORE)

Damn! That was more prescient than Sinclair Lewis's famous (and often erroneously phrased):
"I just wish people wouldn’t quote Lincoln or the Bible, or hang out the flag or the cross, to cover up something that belongs more to the bank-book and the three golden balls."


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“I felt like anything rather than rejoicing at the downfall of a foe who had fought so long and valiantly, and had suffered so much for a cause, though that cause was, I believe, one of the worst for which a people ever fought, and one for which there was the least excuse,”
-- Ulysses S. Grant


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"Respectable little murders pay
They get more respectable every day"

- Don Henley


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“There is a cult of ignorance in the United States, and there always has been. The strain of anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.'”
—Isaac Asimov


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THE WHIZZO SONG

Who's always smiling, never sad? It's Whizzo!
Who makes the boys and girls so glad, Whizzo!

He's a merry fellow with a big red shiny nose,
Dressed in crazy mixed-up clothes
From his head down to his toes.

He has a great big trunk of tricks, has Whizzo.
He'll sing a song or do a dance for you.

And when you're sad, he'll make you glad.
The very best friend you ever had.

Whizzo the clown, that's who!!!


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I feel my mortal purchase slipping away again.
The siren call of the weeping void mournfully intones that familiar cascade of quavery notes, under which my resolve is slammed, battered into a coral reef of memories and specters.
What designer decided the manifestations of my ghosts? I can't possibly be the artist, the conjuror of these vexsome wraiths whose faces and manners are centuries older than I. And always, their persistent beckoning wears me down. And so I follow, no longer in curiosity, but accustomation, habituation, familiarity, that most conservative and lethal form of ennui.


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Yep. If you're like me, I bet when you think "Giants of Rock and Roll", the first name that pops into your head is Whitney Houston.
Just because you partied like a rock star and died like a rock star doesn't mean you WERE a rock star. If that's all the criteria one needs to meet in order to join the rolls of The Rock and Roll Hall Of Fame, I have a lot of dead friends I need to nominate.


Jet Jaguar Abides - 6 months ago
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Hey Steve, thanks for the kind words. I'm slowly getting back towards the light. Hope your Holidays are pleasant. ~JAGS~


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"Calling this lying sack of shit a lying sack of shit is one of the things that got me fired from @SIRIUSXM, because I forgot that the job of Corporate Media is to give a platform to lying sacks of shit and help lying sacks of shit sell their shitty books."
- Frank Conniff on Chris Christie after the latter appeared on some shill program and actually, really, genuinely and truly said:
"I don’t know ‘the real story’ behind Bridgegate, Christie says, adding that we’ll probably never know"


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Yes, my guard stood hard when abstract threats too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking I had something to protect
Good and bad, I define these terms quite clear, no doubt, somehow
Ah, but I was so much older then I'm younger than that now

---Robert Zimmerman


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Steve, I hope you've had a chance to see my reply to the nice note you left on my wall awhile ago. I'm back from the Brain 'n' Body Shop again, and have hopes you will be visiting us all once more in Forumvilla (you are missed, monsieur - please do not ask us all to beg. Heck, I am already down on my one good knee). Best of ye olde (and ye newe) holiday wishes! : )


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Caramel apples are a part of my life. This dates back to my childhood, where a night of trick-or-treating was not complete without stopping at my grandmother's house for the chewy orb-like confections. The melding of caramel and apple seemed to me in those days a confection ordained by the creator.
Hyperbole, you say?
No.
Fanaticism?
Sure.
And it is not just the association with those days, the powerful nostalgia that comes from tasting and smelling something and associating it with familiar and comforting memories, even though I know that scientifically speaking, smell is the most provocative memory enhancers of all the senses. I simply adore that combination of flavors. And even though, like Colonel Glenn Manning, I have a whole head full of goofy dental work, I still have to have to find time to savor one sometime during harvest time, the closer to Hallowe'en the better.

Now, CANDY apples- don't get me started. Candy apples are for FREAKS!


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Hi folks. I have been absent due to a personal tragedy that I caused.
My precious, adored Border Collie...I made mistakes that cost him his life. The unfathomable depths of my despair have been dark. Making it even harder to deal with was how I integrated his name and personality - a real character, a born clown, and since he was a BC, smart as a whip- into the MST3k theme song.
His name was Marcus. The "new" theme song went as follows:
In the not too distant future,
Sa-tur-day-dee
There lives a dog named Mar Mar,
An adorable Border Collie,
He worked at the sheep dog trial show,
A handsome gent in his tuxedo,
He did a good job puttin' sheeps in their place,
Til the day they wouldn't mind him so he shot'em in their face

"We're very disappointed", the trial judges said,
"We need sheep brought to market, not shot in the head.
So keep in mind we won't abide a willful collie like that"
So he said "Well, then, screw you guys, I'll go play with my cat!"
(Collie roll call)
Marcus! Marcus! Marcus! Marrrrrrrrrrrr-cus!
If you're woundering just what the hell this whole song is about,
Repeat to yourself "He's a collie dog" and whip your Frisbee out...
For Border Collie Theater, 3000.

____________________________________________________

A lot of heavy stuff had come down before then, and I was already struggling. Causing Marcus's death...I just lost the will to live.


Jet Jaguar Abides - over 3 years ago
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Hey Steve, is everything alright or have things gotten better?!? Doc said he talked to you recently but just wanted to hear straight from the horse's mouth...


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Something has happened. I may not make it back from this. I hope those of you I've loved know who you are because I don't want to list all of you and forget someone.
I may make one more post. But I may not. Love and peace and more strength than I have to you all.


Jet Jaguar Abides - about 4 years ago
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Hey Steve, wanted to let you know Phantom Chicken is now Jaguar Wong...Same weird f*cker just a different name ;)


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They are not long, the weeping and the laughter,
Love and desire and hate;
I think they have no portion in us after
We pass the gate.

They are not long, the days of wine and roses,
Out of a misty dream
Our path emerges for a while, then closes
Within a dream.


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My guard stood hard when abstract threats
Too noble to neglect
Deceived me into thinking
I had something to protect

Good and bad, I define these terms

Quite clear, no doubt, somehow

Ah, but I was so much older then
I'm younger than that now


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What was my nickname that involved the word "salesman"? I don't even remember that.


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Hey. STEVE-A-RINO. ::end Woody Harrelson to Randy Quaid in 'Kingpin' voice where they're pretending to be dictionary salesmen to hustle people and Randy Quaid's character forgets his name is supposed to be 'Steve':: How's everything?


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" How am I supposed to fix this guy? He's fucked!"

Hey everybody (whoever you might be).
Something has gone brilliantly wrong with this clunker. Dealing with more pain than I have in the over 25 years since my first knee replacements.


Favorite Episodes

  1. Godzilla vs. Megalon
    323
  2. Cave Dwellers
    446
  3. Monster A-Go Go
    351
  4. Pod People
    578
  5. Catalina Caper
    273
  6. Teenage Strangler
    324
  7. Fugitive Alien
    338
  8. War of the Colossal Beast
    234
  9. Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
    205
  10. Lost Continent
    255
  11. The Beatniks
    192
  12. Rocketship X-M
    290
  13. The Indestructible Man
    161
  14. Master Ninja I
    263
  15. Daddy-O
    255
  16. The Amazing Colossal Man
    216
  17. Manos: The Hands of Fate
    708
  18. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
    304
  19. Gamera vs. Guiron
    258
  20. Warrior of the Lost World
    341
  21. Attack of the the Eye Creatures
    236
  22. Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell
    347
  23. Bride of the Monster
    245
  24. Ring of Terror
    198
  25. Gamera
    254
  26. Teenagers from Outer Space
    293
  27. Earth vs. the Spider
    206
  28. Attack of the Giant Leeches
    221
  29. The Giant Gila Monster
    268
  30. Crash of the Moons
    178
  31. The Creeping Terror
    253
  32. Star Force: Fugitive Alien II
    257
  33. Master Ninja II
    164
  34. Mitchell
    597
  35. Eegah
    402
  36. The Day the Earth Froze
    286
  37. The Crawling Eye
    271
  38. The Sinister Urge
    223
  39. Outlaw of Gor
    330
  40. Samson Vs The Vampire Women
    286
  41. The Brain that Wouldn't Die
    352
  42. The Skydivers
    275
  43. Escape 2000
    265
  44. The Sword and the Dragon
    232
  45. The Viking Women and the Sea Serpent
    231
  46. Alien from L.A.
    281
  47. Gamera vs. Zigra
    178
  48. Rocket Attack USA
    156
  49. Zombie Nightmare
    311
  50. The Wild World of Batwoman
    236
  51. Hercules
    156
  52. Santa Claus
    303
  53. Night of the Blood Beast
    326
  54. King Dinosaur
    205
  55. Laserblast
    411
  56. The Killer Shrews
    261
  57. Hercules Unchained
    188
  58. The Beast of Yucca Flats
    261
  59. Radar Secret Service
    230
  60. Jungle Goddess
    196
  61. Robot Monster
    159
  62. Gamera vs. Barugon
    177
  63. The Magic Sword
    213
  64. Manhunt in Space
    173
  65. Beginning of the End
    279
  66. The Dead Talk Back
    289
  67. Teenage Crime Wave
    190
  68. Gamera vs. Gaos
    153
  69. Wild Rebels
    169
  70. Angels' Revenge
    214
  71. The Hellcats
    117
  72. Girls Town
    297
  73. Tormented
    227
  74. Hercules and the Captive Women
    161
  75. The Violent Years
    174
  76. Hercules Against the Moon Men
    226
  77. The Crawling Hand
    167
  78. Robot Holocaust
    162
  79. Teenage Caveman
    156
  80. Mighty Jack
    176
  81. The Unearthly
    208
  82. Fire Maidens of Outer Space
    228
  83. Last of the Wild Horses
    166
  84. The Rebel Set
    170
  85. City Limits
    176

Recent Comments with recent replies

NCNL this week
Forum - 3 days ago
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This week as usual something depressing and normal so, again: no comments; no laighs.


which movie title please
Forum - 4 days ago
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what is the movie is it? it is a black and white japanese movie where a japanese girl and boy get into a japanese taxi in the middlebof a street and follow a man to a japanese cemetery. the man opens a grave and walk down into it and the 2 japanese kids follow him. driving me crazy!! thank you!!


WTF 2020!!
Forum - 5 days ago
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Adding to the parade of sadness that is this year, comedy legend Carl Reiner has passed away. He died Monday of natural causes.


Forum - 5 days ago
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Here's a repost from my Reddit statement:
The curtain closes on MST3K Cinema Editions.
I'll keep this (relatively) short. To say this project was a labor of love would be an understatement. Never could I have envisioned that a re-imagining of an iconic show would lead up to and include coverage from the media and a personal meeting with Joel himself. Thank you for all of your kind words and support! Consider this a long intermission. I'll close with a quote that was the inspiration for the channel: "Just because you can edit, doesn't mean you should. - Tom Servo


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MONKEY IN MY HATBAND
_______________________________

Come on baby come on baby come on baby come on baby come on baby, that’s all I want
Come on baby let’s cruise the scene, be long gone from a Bowlin' Green

Monkeys in my hat band, I can do a handstand
Got funny money in my own blue jeans
Be long gone from a Bowlin' Green
Be long gone from a Bowlin' Green

Well I got a cherry Chevy and a tank full of gas and a chronic hypertension for a movin’ fast

Monkeys in my hat band, I can do a handstand
Got funny money in my own blue jeans
Be long gone from a Bowlin' Green
Be long gone from a Bowlin' Green

Well I know a friend with a big connection live it up with a wide selection
Come on baby YOU got protection (YOU GOT, YOU GOT)? Anything you want
Come on baby let’s cruise the scene, be long gone from a bowlin' green

Monkeys in my hat band, I can do a handstand
Got funny money in my own blue jeans
To be long gone from a Bowlin' Green
To be long gone from a Bowlin' Green


NCNL
Forum - 8 days ago
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Recent Riffs

107 - Robot Monster - almost 4 years ago
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"Man, somebody's gotta take that kid outta the rain".


K09 - Phase IV - over 4 years ago
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TOM SERVO: "You know...This ant problem seems kinda' minor in the midst of the flying turtle problems the people of Japan experienced. I think we're being insensitive."


K06 - Gamera vs. Gaos - almost 5 years ago
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"If we could arrange in some way for it to be distracted we could attack it with safety..."
...we can tap it on one shoulder and appear over the other.