Gratuitous Lurking

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Favorite Episodes

  1. The Giant Gila Monster
  2. Prince of Space
  3. Gamera vs. Zigra
  4. The Killer Shrews
  5. Monster A-Go Go
  6. Radar Secret Service
  7. Moon Zero Two

Recent Comments with recent replies

407 - The Killer Shrews - almost 5 years ago
6 laughs

3 replies Comment icon

AKA- dogs wearing shower mats.

108 - The Slime People - 3 months ago
2 laughs

4 replies Comment icon

Tolliver gets left just outside the door and they don't even bother checking on him. There's no chance he could have survived. Five minutes later, Bonnie disappears and they know she's alive because of course the slime people would kidnap her to draw the rest of them out.

In other news, salt water dissolves the fog wall, but at no point during the war did human blood have any noticeable effect.

4 laughs

2 replies Comment icon

I pity any ren festers that had this as the first MSTie experience. The crew goes to town on it!

208 - Lost Continent - 10 months ago
1 laugh

3 replies Comment icon

Why does ShoutFactory's stuff always run at about 50% less frames per second? It's excruciating

206 - Ring of Terror - almost 4 years ago
4 laughs

5 replies Comment icon

First time I've seen that 'escape hatch' that Joel jumps into responding to movie sign. Quite ingenious for a plywood set. (And movie "sign" is a great word for the putrid playlist the Mad's have. When you're tracking prey, sign is another word for poop.)

206 - Ring of Terror - about 2 years ago
3 laughs

4 replies Comment icon

In the car: You know, honey, it seems like you're not afraid of anything, and that's kind of creepy.

In the sorority: It seems like he's not afraid of anything. Isn't that creepy?

Okay, honey. What's wrong? Why won't you talk to me?
Well, if you must know, people are saying that you're not afraid of anything, and that it's really creepy.
So? Who cares what people say? You have to think for yourself. What do you think?
Oh, well, I don't know. What would you do if the situation was reversed?
I'd ask you if it's true.

... Okay, so... Huh? What's so creepy about not being afraid? And why does she suddenly give him the cold shoulder over it? He never actually addresses the question. And when he tells her to think for herself, she asks him what to think. And he's telling her not to let other people put ideas into her head, but she was spooked by his fearlessness already.

Nothing about this makes any sense, and the more you think about it, the worse it gets.

Wait a minute...
304 - Gamera vs. Barugon - about 2 years ago
0 laughs

4 replies Comment icon

Is this movie ACTUALLY the last time Crow uses the 'By this time, my lungs were aching for air!' pun? Or is that ignored for later series episodes?

803 - The Mole People - 11 months ago
0 laughs

4 replies Comment icon

Wow, sudden downer ending, and all because the girl kinda acted rather, well, silly.

612 - The Starfighters - over 4 years ago
3 laughs

4 replies Comment icon

This is the only MST3K-ed movie I've seen that is a legitimate struggle to sit through.

612 - The Starfighters - over 5 years ago
4 laughs

7 replies Comment icon

Have you ever known one of those guys who is super into flying and just believes that airplanes are just so intrinsically fascinating that he will tell you the model of every plane that passes by, no matter now little it means to you? This movie must have been made by such a person.

607 - Bloodlust - over 5 years ago
8 laughs

3 replies Comment icon

This has the same music as The Unearthly. I call shinanigins!!!!

1 laugh

1 reply Comment icon

"Alien invaders are bombarding our planet. We can't hold out much longer."
"What will we do? Evacuate?"
"Obviously. But that will take time. Time we don't have. Our defenses will collapse in a matter of weeks! Our only hope is to get more uranium in time to power our generators. Fortunately, there's a habitable planet within range."
"Oh, good. So we can buy uranium from them!"
"What? No."
"So we'll have them make uranium for us?"
"Don't be silly. Their technology is well behind ours."
"I see. So we'll conquer them and take their uranium."
"No! Weren't you listening? Our fleet isn't ready yet."
"Oh, right. So... what's the plan?"
"We'll fly a small group out there. Build a house in a remote area. Bring in their top scientists, and have them figure out how to make uranium for us!"
"I thought you said their technology was behind ours."
"It is. But I'm sure they'll be able to figure this one out. Look, our scientists are busy making insectoid mutants. Do you have any idea how hard it is to make giant bugs that can understand and obey orders?"
"Uhm, well... No. So how will you know who among them is smart enough to do the job?"
"Simple. We'll spy on them, find out who is working in the field, study their work, see how close they are, and then test their intelligence."
"Oh. That makes sense, I guess. How will you test them?"
"Furniture assembly!"
"It's perfect. Their primitive culture is still decades away from developing IKEA technology. So if they can figure out how to build a TV set from a bunch of parts with no manual, they're clearly advanced enough to save our planet."
"I can't argue with that. So... we've only got weeks to live. We're going to outsource R&D on the one thing that can save our entire planet to a bunch of aliens with primitive technology and hope they can do the job in time."
"And to get their cooperation, we'll offer to share some of our advanced technology in exchange for their help?"
"What? No. We're going to tell them we're working for world peace and then refuse to explain anything else and act really suspicious. They'll be working against us the whole time. But don't worry about that. As soon as they suspect anything we'll just blow up the entire base of operations with all their research in it. It'll be fine. Then you can bring the survivors here just in time to watch the entire planet be rendered uninhabitable. Look, just get going. This is our only chance."
"And you do realize that adding mass to turn lead into uranium will, of necessity, take more energy than you could extract from reversing the process to fission the uranium, right?"
"We don't have time to argue, man! The planet is going to be destroyed! Go get those humans working already! Their brains are half the size of ours and what passes for computers are still working off vacuum tubes. They're going to need all the time they can get! Oh, that reminds me: Be sure to save the one who is closest to finding the answer for last on your recruiting list. Now get going!"

Recent Riffs

107 - Robot Monster - 5 months ago
1 laugh


Ever get a deja'vu Joel?

2 laughs


HA HA HA HA HA! Your costume is ridiculous!

1 laugh


We hope you've enjoyed No Moral Theater, everybody!