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Favorite Episodes

  1. The Giant Gila Monster
    225
  2. Prince of Space
    419
  3. Gamera vs. Zigra
    159
  4. The Killer Shrews
    229
  5. Monster A-Go Go
    319
  6. Radar Secret Service
    203
  7. Moon Zero Two
    178

Recent Comments with recent replies

So let me get this straight...
407 - The Killer Shrews - about 2 years ago
4 laughs

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The problem is the growing threat of overpopulation. The doc's solution is to slow down human metabolism so we consume fewer resources. (Really, this would only affect food consumption.) Put aside for the moment that he can do so without reducing activity level. (Which is either a direct self-contradiction or what he really means is that he's increasing efficiency.) The side effects of his plan are, he tells us, twofold. First, humans will be half their present size. (Which means the next step of his plan will be to convince the entire human race to choose to have dwarf children.) The second is that the human lifespan will be doubled. (Er, doc? I thought the point of this exercise was to address overpopulation. You don't see any problem...? No? Okay, then...) His method for bringing on this massive change in biology is breeding. (Which, in the case of humans, means eugenics. So maybe, instead of a species-wide breeding program, it would be simpler and easier to just convince the entire human race to limit themselves to two children per couple?) He's chosen shrews as his test subjects because their two-week life cycle allows him to rapidly advance his breeding program. (The nine months he's been at this translates into roughly 18 generations, then? If you're so worried about the looming threat, maybe you should try for a solution that won't take centuries to implement?) Unfortunately, in the course of his experiments to make animals smaller and less hungry (which he says have been successful) , he somehow produced a generation of mutants that grew to 20 times the size of their parents (how does that work?) while remaining just as ravenous as the creatures he started out with in the first place. Also, they're immune to poison. In fact, they can drink it up, store it in their saliva glands (which were never designed to do any such thing), and keep it in their mouths for days without ever running out. A poison, mind you, which is so deadly that a mere scratch will kill an adult human in about a minute. Oh, and also, despite the whole point being to reduce their metabolism, they're no longer nocturnal, and will hunt night and day even as they starve to death. But, while they will turn upon each other, they'll only do so as an absolute last resort, which means that they'll first hunt down the last remaining food on the island, and not even bother going after the corpses of their own, which said food has killed.

Is that about right? Did I miss anything? No wonder the spineless ex-fiancée drank so much.


407 - The Killer Shrews - about 5 years ago
6 laughs

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AKA- dogs wearing shower mats.


108 - The Slime People - 6 months ago
2 laughs

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Tolliver gets left just outside the door and they don't even bother checking on him. There's no chance he could have survived. Five minutes later, Bonnie disappears and they know she's alive because of course the slime people would kidnap her to draw the rest of them out.

In other news, salt water dissolves the fog wall, but at no point during the war did human blood have any noticeable effect.


4 laughs

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I pity any ren festers that had this as the first MSTie experience. The crew goes to town on it!


208 - Lost Continent - about 1 year ago
1 laugh

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Why does ShoutFactory's stuff always run at about 50% less frames per second? It's excruciating


206 - Ring of Terror - about 4 years ago
4 laughs

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First time I've seen that 'escape hatch' that Joel jumps into responding to movie sign. Quite ingenious for a plywood set. (And movie "sign" is a great word for the putrid playlist the Mad's have. When you're tracking prey, sign is another word for poop.)


206 - Ring of Terror - over 2 years ago
3 laughs

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In the car: You know, honey, it seems like you're not afraid of anything, and that's kind of creepy.

In the sorority: It seems like he's not afraid of anything. Isn't that creepy?

Okay, honey. What's wrong? Why won't you talk to me?
Well, if you must know, people are saying that you're not afraid of anything, and that it's really creepy.
So? Who cares what people say? You have to think for yourself. What do you think?
Oh, well, I don't know. What would you do if the situation was reversed?
I'd ask you if it's true.

... Okay, so... Huh? What's so creepy about not being afraid? And why does she suddenly give him the cold shoulder over it? He never actually addresses the question. And when he tells her to think for herself, she asks him what to think. And he's telling her not to let other people put ideas into her head, but she was spooked by his fearlessness already.

Nothing about this makes any sense, and the more you think about it, the worse it gets.


Wait a minute...
304 - Gamera vs. Barugon - over 2 years ago
0 laughs

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Is this movie ACTUALLY the last time Crow uses the 'By this time, my lungs were aching for air!' pun? Or is that ignored for later series episodes?


803 - The Mole People - about 1 year ago
0 laughs

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Wow, sudden downer ending, and all because the girl kinda acted rather, well, silly.


612 - The Starfighters - almost 5 years ago
3 laughs

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This is the only MST3K-ed movie I've seen that is a legitimate struggle to sit through.


612 - The Starfighters - over 5 years ago
4 laughs

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Have you ever known one of those guys who is super into flying and just believes that airplanes are just so intrinsically fascinating that he will tell you the model of every plane that passes by, no matter now little it means to you? This movie must have been made by such a person.


607 - Bloodlust - over 5 years ago
8 laughs

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This has the same music as The Unearthly. I call shinanigins!!!!


Recent Riffs

107 - Robot Monster - 8 months ago
1 laugh

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Ever get a deja'vu Joel?


2 laughs

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HA HA HA HA HA! Your costume is ridiculous!


1 laugh

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We hope you've enjoyed No Moral Theater, everybody!