Bg
Toblerone Laugh

Wall Posts

Favorite Episodes

  1. Space Mutiny
    950
  2. Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
    452
  3. Laserblast
    424
  4. The Brute Man
    232
  5. Colossus and the Headhunters
    195
  6. The Deadly Bees
    235
  7. Hobgoblins
    418
  8. Escape 2000
    283
  9. Master Ninja I
    273
  10. The Human Duplicators
    219
  11. Final Justice
    279
  12. Puma Man
    554
  13. Warrior of the Lost World
    353
  14. The Final Sacrifice
    790
  15. Teenage Crime Wave
    195
  16. Avalanche
    46
  17. The Sword and the Dragon
    242
  18. Future War
    283
  19. Wizards of the Lost Kingdom
    29
  20. Fugitive Alien
    347
  21. Prince of Space
    489
  22. Hamlet
    186
  23. Werewolf
    570
  24. Cry Wilderness
    43
  25. It Conquered the World
    301
  26. The Undead
    251
  27. The Atomic Brain
    178
  28. The Projected Man
    212
  29. Track of the Moon Beast
    304
  30. Atlantic Rim
    19
  31. I Was a Teenage Werewolf
    227
  32. Code Name Diamond Head
    197
  33. Gamera vs. Guiron
    271
  34. Killer Fish
    13
  35. Riding with Death
    424

Recent Comments with recent replies

312 - Gamera vs. Guiron - 27 days ago
0 laughs

1 reply Comment icon
Report

Hello.


907 - Hobgoblins - about 3 years ago
2 laughs

3 replies Comment icon
Report

The hoe fight is both funny and irritating. A guy with military combat training challenges a civilian with no combat training to a garden hoe fight. Then military guy's girlfriend calls him "My hero" while civilian's girlfriend is embarrassed and disappointed. What?


501 - Warrior of the Lost World - over 3 years ago
1 laugh

1 reply Comment icon
Report

Did I catch a geek yelling "Yarbles! Yarblockos!" while jumping from the car? Did the director think that his work was at all comparable to Kubrick's? Or that his source material had the nuanced moral implications of Burgess?

I mean, I suppose that the films are comparable in a way, in that this compares rather poorly...


806 - The Undead - 5 months ago
1 laugh

2 replies Comment icon
Report

Corman seems to have a knack for taking interesting plots and making them simultaneously dull and confusing. But you're right. It is an interesting story.

Present-day "scientist" who has studied the mystic arts in exotic Tibet pays a streetwalker to be his subject. (Because he and Corman erroneously believe they must be weak-willed.) He has his former professor observe as he uses hypnotism to regress her to a past life. (A popular fad trope of the time.) This turns out to be more than just a framing device, however. The professor raises moral objections to experimentation on an unwitting subject and points out that the experiment can endanger her. But, more, the time travel aspect is key to the ending conundrum.

In the past, Helaine has been sentenced to death due to a false accusation of witchery. Apparently, the witch Lydia is in love with Pendragon, but knows that he won't pay her any attention while Helaine lives, so it's implied she went about disposing of her rival by framing her.

Modern-day Diane helps Helaine escape, and there's a fair bit of padding as Helaine looks for places to hide and Pendragon goes between trying to keep her safe and trying to clear her name. Lydia adds to the confusion by tricking Pendragon into believing Helaine has been recpatured and nearly gets him to sell his soul to the devil for the sake of Helaine's freedom. There's also the introduction of a good witch whose mother found a loophole to save her soul while retaining a witch's power. It's supposed to be a contest between the evil witch and the good witch, but Corman never really develops that part of things.

The thing is that our present-day scientist sees his subject is in danger and uses a risky procedure to send himself back in time. (He correctly assumes that Helaine and Diane being in sync means that the time of day is the same for both.) He manages to save Pendragon by bringing him to where Diane told him Helaine was taking refuge, but then brings up a problem:

History says that Helaine died at dawn the following morning. Diane's interference, however, has given Helaine a chance to escape. If she can clear her name (and she's got a year to do so), she'll be free to live happily ever after with Pendragon. But living past the hour of her appointed death means her soul cannot be reincarnated, so Diane (and all the other lives her soul has lived over the centuries) will never be born.

The scientist says he doesn't care about the outcome. He's just there to observe, learn, and come away with a good story and breakthrough research. But he hypnotizes Helaine so she can hear the voices of her future selves, and Helaine realizes that she can't selfishly choose a life of happiness for herself at the cost of so many others. She willingly goes to her own execution, dying right in the nick of time.

The scientist, who was willing to recklessly play with Diane's life, is left stranded in the past because Helaine's death broke the link that let him jump between time periods. Perhaps it's a just punishment. Perhaps it's a way to ensure he can't go messing around with time any further, since changing the past could have huge implications. Not to mention proof that reincarnation, witchery, and the devil are all real.

Diane comes out of her trance at the moment of Helaine's death, and the experience has her feeling reborn, with a determination to start her life anew and make something better of herself.

Some things are left unclear. Was Smolken cursed by Lydia? Was he just addled? Or was he pretending to be insane for his own amusement and protection? He's entirely lucid when making a logical step-by-step philosophical case that he must be incapable of logic and reason. And when the good witch tells him it's no time for madness, he seems to drop it entirely, if only for the moment. But at other times he does genuinely seem to be addled. (Maybe there's a scene that was cut for time from the MST3K version that goes into that? I wouldn't count on it. But I'm also not going to look it up.)

All in all, if it had been in the hands of a more cogent director, it could have been a pretty good story instead of this meandering insipid mess.


1 laugh

2 replies Comment icon
Report

So... the state fair short is supposed to make you want to... go to the fair? We've got farm animals! And a guy in a cage who judges corn! And you can see jars of pickled vegetables that are almost as good as what you can make at home! And take a look at which lamps and chairs the kids at camp chose to put together! If you're lucky, you can catch them standing on the back of a truck when the marching band goes by!


VOTE NOW!!
701 - Night of the Blood Beast - over 3 years ago
0 laughs

7 replies Comment icon
Report

Turkey Day version....or Regular??


814 - Riding with Death - about 1 month ago
1 laugh

1 reply Comment icon
Report

You're as elusive ass Robert Denby!


Shut up Iris!
1 laugh

1 reply Comment icon
Report

Yes, Karen Kadler plays Ellen Peters in this film.


905 - The Deadly Bees - over 1 year ago
0 laughs

4 replies Comment icon
Report

I loved the riffing of this movie! but Im confused on the actual plot...At the end, Manferd tells Vicky that her coming to the island was a godsend, and I get there was some kind of competition between him and Hargrove on who could come up with a way for the bees to attack in force..How was Vicky a godsend by her coming there? The movie depicts Hargrove as a good guy at the end, but really he is not, if he was trying to develop a way to send killer bees somewhere..? Confused.


What's Next, #2?
Forum - 2 months ago
1 laugh

182 replies Comment icon
Report

The first go round has gotten unwieldly, so I'm starting a new one, picking up where the last one left off. This is sort of like word association, but different. The rules are that your response has to be MST/RT/CT related and has to have (at least in your mind) a connection of some sort to the previous post, however literal or liberal that connection may be. The previous one ended with:

He looks like a Cabbage Patch Elvis.


907 - Hobgoblins - about 7 years ago
18 laughs

4 replies Comment icon
Report

I honestly want to see this movie remade with Daphne as the hero. Because all she wants to do is party and screw, she's apparently living her dream, making her almost immune to the hobgoblins's power. It could actually be a really good horror/comedy. Instead of being Hobgoblins. >.>


Recent Riffs

0 laughs

Report

"The gates to the midway open on a hundred ways of having fun..."
Or you can just get hammered.


1205 - Killer Fish - 3 months ago
0 laughs

Report

I see her talking, but all I can think about is hot dogs!


1202 - Atlantic Rim - 5 months ago
0 laughs

Report

(somberly) They were like ba-BOOM.


1 laugh

Report

Well hey, who cleaned up?


0 laughs

Report

Omar comin'!


0 laughs

Report

Doug McClure prepared for this scene by rubbing chum in his hair and letting seagulls dive-bomb him in the mall parking lot.


0 laughs

Report

"Do it for my sake. Do it because we love each other."
And they proceed to DO IT because they love each other.


2 laughs

Report

"You're giving me one of your hats!"
Well, it's hat-related...


521 - Santa Claus - over 1 year ago
1 laugh

Report

I'm ordering a Hawaiian pizza... 'cause I'm Satan. Heh heh.


608 - Code Name Diamond Head - over 1 year ago
0 laughs

Report

"You can't have Van Dycks in the Navy!"
"Well, it's the slacker Navy."


1110 - Wizards of the Lost Kingdom - almost 2 years ago
0 laughs

Report

The white-outs are part of Kor's alcoholism.


1012 - Squirm - almost 2 years ago
0 laughs

Report

This movie deftly shows one unshakeable principle: Never go to the South for any reason. In fact: Please, South, secede, will ya? We won't stop you this time.