Bg
Brian Kijowski

Wall Posts

Favorite Episodes

  1. The Final Sacrifice
    787
  2. Manos: The Hands of Fate
    716
  3. Overdrawn at the Memory Bank
    449
  4. Gamera vs. Guiron
    270
  5. Prince of Space
    488
  6. Mitchell
    612
  7. The Touch of Satan
    360
  8. Time Chasers
    465
  9. Parts: The Clonus Horror
    304
  10. Future War
    281
  11. Space Mutiny
    946
  12. The Sidehackers
    222
  13. Werewolf
    567
  14. Monster A-Go Go
    362
  15. Soultaker
    399
  16. Godzilla vs. Megalon
    337
  17. Puma Man
    552
  18. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians
    310
  19. Hobgoblins
    417
  20. Stranded in Space
    135
  21. Tormented
    229
  22. The Creeping Terror
    267
  23. Last of the Wild Horses
    169
  24. Racket Girls
    185
  25. Assignment: Venezuela (the lost short)
    178
  26. Superdome
    47
  27. Time of the Apes
    294
  28. Teenage Strangler
    332
  29. It Lives by Night
    179
  30. Fire Maidens of Outer Space
    235
  31. The Indestructible Man
    162
  32. Night of the Blood Beast
    336
  33. Track of the Moon Beast
    302
  34. The Castle of Fu Manchu
    159
  35. Godzilla vs. the Sea Monster
    213
  36. Beginning of the End
    286
  37. Jack Frost
    357
  38. The Brute Man
    229
  39. Deathstalker and the Warriors From Hell
    354
  40. Space Travelers
    158
  41. The Brain that Wouldn't Die
    360
  42. The Beast of Yucca Flats
    267
  43. Samson Vs The Vampire Women
    291
  44. The Mole People
    216
  45. Diabolik
    219
  46. Teenage Caveman
    156
  47. I Was a Teenage Werewolf
    225
  48. Gorgo
    186
  49. Merlin's Shop of Mystical Wonders
    343
  50. Blood Waters of Dr. Z
    219
  51. Horrors of Spider Island
    240
  52. Boggy Creek II: And the Legend Continues
    355
  53. Hamlet
    186
  54. The Robot vs. the Aztec Mummy
    212
  55. Rocketship X-M
    300
  56. The Space Children
    190
  57. The Killer Shrews
    266
  58. Rocket Attack USA
    162
  59. The Starfighters
    252
  60. 12 to the Moon
    219
  61. Zombie Nightmare
    324
  62. Bloodlust
    193
  63. Code Name Diamond Head
    195
  64. Pod People
    590
  65. The Incredible Melting Man
    294
  66. Squirm
    254
  67. Fugitive Alien
    345
  68. The Rebel Set
    167
  69. The Violent Years
    177
  70. Being from Another Planet
    201
  71. Alien from L.A.
    286
  72. Manhunt in Space
    175
  73. Teenage Crime Wave
    193
  74. The She-Creature
    180
  75. The Last Chase
    40
  76. SST: Death Flight
    83
  77. City on Fire
    52
  78. Operation Double 007
    247
  79. The Million Eyes of Sumuru
    32
  80. Hangar 18
    50
  81. Women of the Prehistoric Planet
    175
  82. The Corpse Vanishes
    158
  83. The Crawling Hand
    171
  84. Robot Monster
    160
  85. The Slime People
    127
  86. Project Moonbase
    123
  87. Robot Holocaust
    169
  88. Moon Zero Two
    215
  89. Untamed Youth
    143
  90. The Black Scorpion
    133
  91. The Hellcats
    122
  92. Jungle Goddess
    197
  93. King Dinosaur
    209
  94. First Spaceship on Venus
    165
  95. Cave Dwellers
    463
  96. Gamera
    262
  97. Daddy-O
    260
  98. Gamera vs. Gaos
    158
  99. The Amazing Colossal Man
    217
  100. It Conquered the World
    299
  101. Earth vs. the Spider
    216
  102. Gamera vs. Zigra
    185
  103. The Viking Women and the Sea Serpent
    233
  104. War of the Colossal Beast
    241
  105. The Unearthly
    209
  106. Master Ninja I
    273
  107. Master Ninja II
    167
  108. The Giant Gila Monster
    271
  109. City Limits
    181
  110. Teenagers from Outer Space
    298
  111. Attack of the Giant Leeches
    226
  112. Hercules Unchained
    196
  113. Hercules Against the Moon Men
    234
  114. The Magic Sword
    213
  115. Hercules and the Captive Women
    163
  116. The Beatniks
    196
  117. Crash of the Moons
    178
  118. Attack of the the Eye Creatures
    244
  119. The Human Duplicators
    216
  120. The Day the Earth Froze
    296
  121. Bride of the Monster
    247
  122. Warrior of the Lost World
    351
  123. Hercules
    160
  124. Swamp Diamonds
    162
  125. Secret Agent Super Dragon
    227
  126. The Magic Voyage of Sinbad
    228
  127. Eegah
    412
  128. I Accuse My Parents
    432
  129. The Girl in Lovers Lane
    238
  130. Lassie: The Painted Hills
    171
  131. Gunslinger
    171
  132. The Wild World of Batwoman
    241
  133. The Atomic Brain
    176
  134. Outlaw of Gor
    334
  135. Radar Secret Service
    233
  136. Santa Claus
    312
  137. Village of the Giants
    205
  138. Girls Town
    307
  139. Invasion USA
    187
  140. The Dead Talk Back
    290
  141. Colossus and the Headhunters
    191
  142. The Sinister Urge
    223
  143. San Francisco International
    279
  144. The Sword and the Dragon
    237
  145. High School Big Shot
    200
  146. Red Zone Cuba
    243
  147. Danger! Death Ray
    494
  148. The Amazing Transparent Man
    149
  149. Escape 2000
    278
  150. Laserblast
    422
  151. Revenge of the Creature
    240
  152. The Leech Woman
    251
  153. The Undead
    250
  154. Terror from the Year 5000
    259
  155. The Giant Spider Invasion
    374
  156. Devil Doll
    259
  157. Invasion of the Neptune Men
    254
  158. The Projected Man
    212
  159. The Phantom Planet
    232
  160. Devil Fish
    275
  161. The Screaming Skull
    295
  162. Quest of the Delta Knights
    281
  163. Girl in Gold Boots
    297
  164. Final Justice
    278
  165. The Crawling Eye
    278
  166. The Mad Monster
    148
  167. Pilot - The Green Slime
    67
  168. Gamera vs. Guiron
    27
  169. Lost Continent
    261
  170. The Skydivers
    279
  171. Legend of the Dinosaurs
    51
  172. Catalina Caper
    286
  173. Ring of Terror
    201
  174. Wild Rebels
    177
  175. Riding with Death
    420
  176. Mighty Jack
    35
  177. The Deadly Mantis
    232
  178. Mighty Jack
    179
  179. The Deadly Bees
    233
  180. Star Force: Fugitive Alien II
    264
  181. Phase IV
    65
  182. Gamera vs. Barugon
    178
  183. The Incredibly Strange Creatures...
    299
  184. Kitten with a Whip
    155
  185. Cosmic Princess
    52
  186. Humanoid Woman
    49

Recent Comments with recent replies

K15 - Superdome - almost 9 years ago
2 laughs

1 reply Comment icon
Report

The Warren Beatty film Crow refers to during the scaffold chase is "The Parallax View." Too bad there weren't any railing deaths in this movie.


904 - Werewolf - almost 9 years ago
9 laughs

1 reply Comment icon
Report

"I've replaced my toes with grapes."


306 - Time of the Apes - almost 9 years ago
5 laughs

6 replies Comment icon
Report

Does Joel say "oh shit am I tired" at 9:50?!!


1011 - Horrors of Spider Island - almost 7 years ago
4 laughs

Report

"I'd pay eleven thousand dollars to be there right now." LOL


Proper Handgun Technique
Forum - almost 7 years ago
11 laughs

3 replies Comment icon
Report

What black & white movies have taught me is to hold the gun to your belly-button, then hurl the gun forward when firing to help sling the bullets out. Whatever you do, don't aim, it kills your cool but bland Humphrey Bogart delivery.


612 - The Starfighters - about 7 years ago
9 laughs

2 replies Comment icon
Report

I always feel incredibly filthy watching Crow and Tom reenact the refueling scene...even Tom does a little embarassed/aroused cough. I think the really atrocious movies often have the best segments and the riffin g has so much more room to get up and stretch its legs...one of my faves.


Episode with the most mercilessly evil riff job?
Forum - about 7 years ago
2 laughs

17 replies Comment icon
Report

Guys, I'm in a *mood*. A cranky, growly, want-to-start-a-fight-with-the-universe mood. However, the universe would probably kick my ass, and I don't much like those odds, so instead, I'll go for the next best thing. What, in your opinion, is the most unforgivingly vicious treatment MST has ever given a movie? Because whatever ep it is... I wanna watch that ep. I am not in the mood for a good-natured ribbing or some light hearted fun poking, I want a bloody beat down! If I'm not wincing while I'm laughing and almost feeling guilty for it, it's not quite evil enough. Suggestions?


Forum - over 7 years ago
1 laugh

10 replies Comment icon
Report

Hi guys!
I have a gift for you all...
just follow the crumbs to the cookie jar....................................
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
..
..
.
.............
...
.......
..
............................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
.............................
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
..
..
.
.............
...
.......
..
............................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
............................
............................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
........................................................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
............................
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
..
..
.
.............
...
.......
..
............................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
.............................
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
..
..
.
.............
...
.......
..
............................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
............................
............................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
........................................................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
............................
.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
KEEP GOING.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
..
..
.
.............
...
.......
..
............................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
.............................
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
..
..
.
.............
...
.......
..
............................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
............................
............................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
........................................................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
............................
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
..
..
.
.............
...
.......
..
............................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
.............................
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
.
..
...
....
.....
.......
...
.....
........
.
..
.
..
...................
...............
........
...
..
.....
.
...
.....
..
...........
...
.......
...
......
...
..
..
.
.
.
................................
.....
..
..
.
.
...........
..
......
.................
.
...................
......
..
.....
..........
..
..
.
.............
...
.......
..
............................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
............................
............................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
........................................................
....................
.............
..........
......
....
..
.
.
....
......
..........
..............
..................
.......................
............................
.....
.
.
.
.
.
.
if you made it this far PLEASE go back to your family, its Christmas for Pete's sakes!
.
Joyeux Noel form Quebec y'all!
.
My xmas gift to the party is this lovelily compilation of some of the WORST & most bizarre pieces of Christmas Music ever put on record... Add some oddity to your xmas dinner and turn some heads!
http://blog.wfmu.org/freeform/2009/12/happy-freakin-holidays-playlist.html
Download all 3 mixes: "Holiday Freakin" & "Hoilday Freakout 1 & 2"
... Warning: some of this stuff is pretty bad (i.e. "Ducky Christmas" By Red Coffee... eeeey... nightmare fuel)


816 - Prince of Space - over 8 years ago
9 laughs

1 reply Comment icon
Report

Crank Whore. That is all.


Forum - almost 8 years ago
4 laughs

12 replies Comment icon
Report

Alright MST3K does not receive the credit it deserves. It was ground breaking, amazing, still fucking hilarious! It should be in the top ten best shows of all time. Except no one knows about it, so sad. No one understands it's genius, no one takes the time. You have to pay attention, listen, watch. It's not some damn skit show with 1 minute blips of crap. It requires dedication and Intelligence to appreciate it's true magnificence! Therefore I command you all to spread the word! MST3K FOREVER!!!


316 - Gamera vs. Zigra - about 8 years ago
7 laughs

3 replies Comment icon
Report

Having all the hosts segments cut out really sucks.


Recent Riffs

306 - Time of the Apes - almost 9 years ago
9 laughs

1 reply Comment icon
Report

Tonight on "Crime Dog"...


613 - The Sinister Urge - over 8 years ago
12 laughs

Report

You don't direct Klein, you just get out of the way.


16 laughs

Report

This movie just hates anteaters.


611 - Last of the Wild Horses - almost 9 years ago
3 laughs

Report

Watch this...right in the butt!


606 - The Creeping Terror - almost 9 years ago
11 laughs

Report

Did I just hear a monster licking it's lips?


414 - Tormented - almost 9 years ago
5 laughs

Report

I hate the prying eyes of furniture.